Chapter 5

Enter Clowne and Awdrie.

_Clow_. We shall finde a time _Awdrie_, patience gentle Awdrie.

_Awd_. Faith the priest was good enough, for all the olde gentlemans saying.

_Clow_. A most wicked Sir _Oliver, Awdrie_, a most vile _Mar-text._ But _Awdrie_, there is a youth heere in the forrest layes claime to you.

_Awd_. I, I know who 'tis: he hath no interest in mee in the world: here comes the man you meane.

(Enter William)

_Clo_. It is meat and drinke to me to see a clowne, by my troth, we that haue good wits, haue much to answer for: we shall be flouting: we cannot hold.

_Will_. Good eu'n _Audrey._

_Awd_. God ye good eu'n _William_.

_Will_. And good eu'n to you sir.

_Clo_. Good eu'n gentle friend. Couer thy head, couer thy head: Nay prethee bee couer'd. How olde are you Friend?

_Will_. Fiue and twentie Sir.

_Clo_. A ripe age: Is thy name _William_?

_Will_. _William_, Sir.

_Clo_. A faire name. Was't borne i' the Forrest heere?

_Will_. I [Aye] Sir, I thanke God.

_Clo_. Thanke God: A good answer: Art rich?

_Will_. 'Faith Sir, so, so.

_Clo_. So, so, is good, very good, very excellent good: and yet it is not, it is but so, so: Art thou wise?

_Will_. I [Aye] sir, I haue a prettie wit.

_Clo_. Why, thou saist well. I do now remember a saying: The Foole doth thinke he is wise, but the wise man knowes himselfe to be a Foole.... You do loue this maid?

_Will_. I do Sir.

_Clo_. Giue me your hand: art thou Learned?

_Will_. No Sir.

_Clo_. Then learne this of me, To haue is to haue. For it is a figure in Rhetoricke, that drink being powr'd out of a cup into a glasse, by filling the one, doth empty the other. For all your Writers do consent, that _ipse_ is hee: now you are not _ipse_, for I am he.

_Will_. Which he Sir?

_Clo_. He Sir, that must marrie this woman.

Firstly I want to call your attention to Touchstone the courtier who is playing clown and who we are told "uses his folly like a stalking horse and under the presentation of that he shoots his wit." Notice that Touchstone refuses to be married to Awdrey (who probably represents the plays of Shakespeare) by a-Mar-text_, and she declares that the Clown William "has no interest in mee in the world." William--shall we say Shakspeare of Stratford?--enters and is greeted as "gentle" (_i. e_. he is possessed of a coat of arms). He says "Thank God" he was born in the forest here (Ardennes, very near in sound to Arden). "Thank God" is repeated by Touchstone and as it is the same phrase that is used by Sogliardo in Ben Jonson's play I expect that it was an ejaculation very characteristic of the real man of Stratford and I am confirmed in this belief because in the folio edition of Ben Jonson's plays the phrase is changed to "I thank _them_" which has no meaning.

The clown of Ardennes is rich but only rich for a clown (Shakspeare of Stratford was not really rich, New Place cost only L60).

Asked if he is wise, he says "aye," that is "yes," and adds that he has "a pretty wit," a phrase we must remember that is constantly used in reference to the Stratford actor. Touchstone mocks him with a paraphrase of the well-known maxim "If you are wise you are a Foole if you be a Foole you are wise" which is to be found in Bacon's "Advancement of Learning" Antitheta xxxi. Then he asks him "_Art thou learned_" and William replies "_No sir_." This means, _unquestionably_, as every lawyer must know, that William replies that he cannot _read_ one line of print. I feel sure the man called Shackspeare of Stratford was an uneducated rustic, never able to read a single line of print, and that this is the reason why no books were found in his house, this is the reason why his solicitor, Thomas Greene, lived with him in his house at New Place (Halliwell-Phillipps: Outlines, 1889, Vol. i, p. 226);--a well-known fact that very much puzzles those who do not realize the depth of Shakspeare's illiteracy.