Part 11

¶ The last Sommer, Anno domini .1566, being in familiare talke with a walking Mort that came to my gate, I learned by her what I could, and I thought I had gathered as much for my purpose as I desired. I began to rebuke her for her leud lyfe and beastly behauor, declaring to her what punishment was prepared and heaped vp for her in the world to come for her fylthy lyuinge and wretched conuersation. “God helpe,” q_uoth_ she, “how should I lyue? none wyll take me into seruice; but I labour in haruest time honestly.” “I thinke but a whyle with honestie,” q_uoth_ I. “Shall I tell you,” q_uoth_ she, “the best of vs all may be amended; but yet, I thanke god, I dyd one good dede within this twelue mo_n_thes.” “Wherein?” q_uoth_ I. Sayth she, “I woulde not haue it spoken of agayne.” “Yf it be méete and necessary,” q_uo_d I, “it shall lye vnder my feete.” “What meane you by that?” quoth she. “I meane,” q_uo_d I, “to hide the same, and neuer to discouer it to any.” “Well,” q_uoth_ she, and began to laugh as much as she could, and sweare by the masse that if I disclosed the same to any, she woulde neuer more[138] tell me any thinge. “The last sommer,” q_uoth_ she, “I was greate with chylde, and I traueled into east kent by the sea coste, for I lusted meruelously after oysters and muskels[139], and gathered many, and in _th_e place where I found them, I opened them and eate them styll: at the last, in seking more, I reached after one, and stept into a hole, and fel in into the wast, and their dyd stycke, and I had bene drowned if the tide had come, and espyinge a man a good waye of, I cried as much as I could for helpe. I was alone, he hard me, and repaired as fast to me as he might, and finding me their fast stycking, I required for gods sake his helpe; and whether it was with stryuinge and forcing my selfe out, or for ioye I had of his comminge to me, I had a great couller in my face, and loked red and well {69} coullered. And, to be playne with you, hée lyked me so well (as he sayd) that I should there lye styll, and I would not graunt him, that he might lye with me. And, by my trouth, I wist not what to answeare, I was in such a perplexite; for I knew the man well: he had a very honest woman to his wyfe, and was of some welth; and, one the other syde, if I weare not holpe out, I should there haue perished, and I graunted hym that I would obeye to his wyll: then he plucked me out. And because there was no conuenient place nere hande, I required hym that I might go washe my selfe, and make me somewhat clenly, and I would come to his house and lodge all night in his barne, whether he mighte repaire to me, and accomplyshe hys desire, ‘but let it not be,’ quoth she,[140] ‘before nine of the clocke at nyghte [leaf 22] for then there wylbe small styrring. And I may repaire to the towne,’ q_uoth_ she,[141] ‘to warme and drye my selfe’; for this was about two of the clocke in the after none. ‘Do so,’ quoth hée; ‘for I must be busie to looke oute my cattell here by before I can come home.’ So I went awaye from hym, and glad was I.” “And why so?” quoth I. “Because,” quoth she, “his wyfe, my good dame, is my very fréend, and I am much beholdinge to her. And she hath donne me so much good or this, that I weare loth nowe to harme her any waye.” “Why,” quoth I, “what and it hadde béene any other man, and not your good dames husbande?” “The matter had bene the lesse,” quoth shée. “Tell me, I pray the,” quoth I, “who was the father of thy chylde?” She stodyd a whyle, and sayde that it hadde a father. “But what was hée?” quoth I. “Nowe, by my trouth, I knowe not,” quoth shée; “you brynge me out of my matter so, you do.” “Well, saye on,” quoth I. “Then I departed strayght to the towne, and came to my dames house, And shewed her of my mysfortune, also of her husbands vsage, in all pointes, and that I showed her the same for good wyll, and byde her take better héede to her husbande, and to her selfe: so shée gaue me great thankes, and made me good chéere, and byd me in anye case that I should be redye at the barne at that tyme and houre we had apoynted; ‘for I knowe well,’ quoth this good wyfe, ‘my husband wyll not breake wyth the. And one thinge I warne[142] the, that thou {70} geue me a watche worde a loud when hée goeth aboute to haue his pleasure of the, and that shall[143] bée “fye, for shame, fye,” and I wyll bée harde by you wyth helpe. But I charge the kéepe thys secret vntyll all bee fynesed; and holde,’ saythe thys good wyfe, ‘here is one of my peticotes I geue thée.’ ‘I thanke you, good dame,’ quoth I, ‘and I warrante you I wyll bée true and trustye vnto you.’ So my dame lefte me settinge by a good fyre with meate and drynke; and wyth the oysters I broughte with me, I hadde greate cheere: shée wente strayght and repaired vnto her gossypes dwelling there by; and, as I dyd after vnderstande, she made her mone to them, what a naughtye, lewed, lecherous husbande shée hadde, and howe that she coulde not haue hys companye for harlotes, and that she was in feare to take some fylthy dysease of hym, he was so commen a man, hauinge lytle respecte whome he hadde to do with all; ‘and,’ quoth she, ‘nowe here is one at my house, a poore woman that goeth aboute the countrey that he woulde haue hadde to doe withall; wherefore, good neyghboures and louinge gossypes, as you loue me, and as you would haue helpe at my hand another tyme, deuyse some remedy to make my husband a good man, _tha_t I may lyue in some suerty without disease, and that hée may saue his soule that God so derelye [leaf 22, back] bought.’ After shée hadde tolde her tale, they caste their persinge eyes all vpon her, but one stoute dame amongst the rest had these wordes—‘As your pacient bearinge of troubles, your honest behauiour among vs your neyghbours, your tender and pytifull hart to the poore of the parysh, doth moue vs to lament your case, so the vnsatiable carnalite of your faithelesse husbande doth instigate and styre vs to deuyse and inuent some spéedy redresse for your ease[144] and the amendement of hys lyfe. Wherefore, this is my councell and you wyll bée aduertysed by me; for[145] I saye to you all, vnlesse it be this good wyfe, who is chéefely touched in this matter, I haue the nexte cause; for hée was in hande wyth me not longe a goe, and companye had not bene present, which was by a meruelous chaunce, he hadde, I thinke, forced me. For often hée hath bene tempering[146] with me, and yet haue I sharpely sayde him {71} naye: therefore, let vs assemble secretly into the place where hée hathe apuynted to méete thys gyllot that is at your house, and lyrke preuelye in some corner tyll hée begyn to goe aboute his busines. And then me thought I harde you saye euen nowe that you had a watche word, at which word we wyll all stepforth, being fiue of vs besydes you, for you shalbe none because it is your husbande, but gette you to bed at your accustomed houre. And we wyll cary eche of vs[147] good byrchen rodde in our lappes, and we will all be muffeled for knowing, and se that you goe home and acquaynt that walking Morte with the matter; for we must haue her helpe to hold, for alwaies foure must hold and two lay one.’ ‘Alas!’ sayth this good wyfe, ‘he is to stronge for you all. I would be loth, for my sake you should receaue harme at his hande.’ ‘feare you not,’ q_uoth_ these stout wemen, ‘let her not geue the watch word vntyl his hosen be abaut his legges. And I trowe we all wylbe with him to bring before he shall haue leasure to plucke them vp againe.’ They all with on voyce ag[r]ed to the matter, that the way she had deuised was the best: so this good wife repaired home; but before she departed from her gossypes, she shewed them at what houre they should preuely come in on _th_e backsid, _and_ where to tary their good our: so by _th_e time she came in, it was all most night, and found the walking Morte still setting by the fyre, and declared to her all this new deuyse aboue sayd, which promised faythfully to full fyll to her small powre as much as they hadde deuysed: within a quarter of an oure after, in co_m_meth the good man, who said that he was about his cattell. “Why, what haue we here, wyfe, setting by the fyre? _and_ yf she haue eate and dronke, send her into the barne to her lodging for this night, for she troubeleth the house.” “Euen as you wyll husbande,” sayth his wyfe; “you knowe she commeth once in two yeres into these [leaf 23] quarters. Awaye,” saythe this good wyfe, “to your lodginge.” “Yes, good dame,” sayth she, “as fast as I can:” thus, by loking one[148] on the other, eche knewe others mynde, and so departed to her comely couche: the good man of the house shrodge hym for Ioye, thinking to hym selfe, I wyll make some pastyme with you anone. And calling to his wyfe for hys sopper, set {72} him downe, and was very plesant, and dranke to his wyfe, _and_ fell to his mammerings, and mounched a pace, nothing vnderstanding of the bancquet that[149] was a preparing for him after sopper, _and_ according to the prouerbe, that swete meate wyll haue sowre sawce: thus, whe_n_ he was well refreshed, his sprietes being reuyued, entred into familiare talke with his wife, of many matters, how well he had spent that daye to both there proffytes, sayinge some of his cattell[150] were lyke to haue bene drowned in the dyches, dryuinge others of his neyghbours cattell out that were in his pastures, _and_ mending his fences that were broken downe. Thus profitably he had consumed the daye, nothinge talking of his helping out of the walkinge Morte out of the myre, nether of his request nor yet of her[151] promisse. Thus feding her w_i_t_h_ frendly fantacyes, consumed two houres and more. Then fayninge howe hée would se in what case his horse were in and howe they were dressed, Repaired couertly into the barne, where as his frée[n]dlye foes lyrked preuely, vnlesse it were this manerly Morte, that comly couched on a bottell of strawe. “What, are you come?” q_uoth_ she; “by the masse, I would not for a hundreth pound that my dame should knowe that you were here, eyther any els of your house.” “No, I warrant the,” sayth this good man, “they be all safe and fast ynough at their woorke, and I wylbe at mine anon.” And laye downe by her, and strayght would haue had to do w_i_t_h_ her. “Nay, fye,” sayth she, “I lyke not this order: if ye lye with me, you shall surely vntrus you _and_ put downe your hosen, for that way is most easiest and best.” “Sayest thou so?” quoth he, “now, by my trouth agred.” And when he had vntrussed him selfe and put downe, he began to assalt the vnsatiable[152] fort “Why,” quoth she, that was with out shame, sauinge for her promes, “And are you not ashamed?” “neuer a whyte,” sayth he, “lye downe quickely.” “Now, fye, for shame, fye,” sayth shée a loude, whyche was the watche word. At the which word, these fyue furious, sturdy, muffeled gossypes flynges oute, and takes sure holde of this be trayed parson, sone[153] pluckinge his hosen downe lower, and byndinge the same fast about his féete; {73} then byndinge his handes, and knitting a hande charcher about his eyes, that he shoulde not sée; and when they had made hym sure and fast, Then they layd him one vntyll they weare windles. “Be good,” sayth this Morte, “vnto my maister, for the passion of God,” [leaf 23, back] and layd on as fast as the rest, and styll seased not to crye vpon them to bée mercyfull vnto hym, and yet layde on a pace; and when they had well beaten hym, that the bloud braste plentifullye oute in most places, they let hym lye styll bounde. With this exhortation, that he shoulde from that tyme forth knowe his wyfe from other mens, and that this punishment was but a flebyting in respect of that which should followe, yf he amended not his manners. Thus leuynge hym blustering, blowing, and fominge for payne, and malyncolye that hée neither might or coulde be reuenged of them, they vanyshed awaye, and hadde thys Morte with them, and safely conuayde her out of the towne: sone after co_m_meth into the barne one of the good mans boyes, to fet some haye for his horse. And fyndinge his maister lyinge faste bounde and greuouslye beaten with rodes, was sodenly abashed and woulde haue runne out agayne to haue called for helpe; but his maister bed hym come vnto hym and vnbynd hym; “and make no wordes,” quoth he, “of this. I wylbe reuenged well inoughe;” yet not with standinge, after better aduyse, the matter beinge vnhonest, he thought it meter to let the same passe, and, not, as the prouerbe saythe, to awake the sleping dogge. “And, by my trouth,” quoth this walkinge Morte, “I come nowe from that place, and was neuer there sythens this parte was playde, whiche is some what more then a yeare. And I here a very good reporte of hym now, that he loueth his wyfe well, and vseth hym selfe verye honestlye; and was not this a good acte? nowe, howe saye you?” “It was pretely handeled,” quoth I, “and is here all?” “Yea,” quoth she, “here is the ende.”

[Footnote 138: Omitted in 1573.]

[Footnote 139: _mussels._ B.]

[Footnote 140: _he_, ed. 1573.]

[Footnote 141: _I_, ed. 1573.]

[Footnote 142: _warrant._ B.]

[Footnote 143: _should._ B.]

[Footnote 144: 1573 reads _case_]

[Footnote 145: Omitted in 1573.]

[Footnote 146: 1573 reads _tempting_]

[Footnote 147: B. inserts _a_]

[Footnote 148: _won._ B.]

[Footnote 149: B. omits _that_]

[Footnote 150: B. inserts _that_]

[Footnote 151: 1573 reads _his_]

[Footnote 152: B. reads _vnsanable_, or _vnsauable_]

[Footnote 153: 1573 reads _some_]

¶ A DOXE. Cap. 20.

++THese Doxes be broken and spoyled of their maydenhead by the vpright men, and then they haue their name of Doxes, and not afore. And afterwarde she is commen and indifferent for any that wyll vse her, as _homo_ is a commen name to all men. Such {74} as be fayre and some what handsome, kepe company with the walkinge Mortes, and are redye alwayes for the vpright men, and are cheifely mayntayned by them, for others shalbe spoyled for their sakes: the other, inferior, sort wyll resorte to noble mens places, and gentlemens houses, standing at the gate, eyther lurkinge on the backesyde about backe houses, eyther in hedge rowes, or some other thycket, expectinge their praye, which is for the vncomely company of some curteous gest, of whome they be refreshed with meate and some money, where eschaunge is made, ware for ware: this bread and meate they vse to carrye in their [leaf 24] greate hosen; so that these beastlye brybinge[154] bréeches serue manye tymes for bawdye purposes. I chaunced, not longe sithens, familiarly to commen with a Doxe that came to my gate, and surelye a pleasant harlot, and not so pleasant as wytty, and not so wytty as voyd of all grace and goodnes. I founde, by her talke, that shée hadde passed her tyme lewdlye eyghttene yeares in walkinge aboute. I thoughte this a necessary instrument to attayne some knowledge by; and before I woulde grope her mynde, I made her both to eate and drynke well; that done, I made her faythfull promisse to geue her some money, yf she would open and dyscouer to me such questions as I woulde demaunde of her, and neuer to bée wraye her, neither to disclose her name. “And you shoulde,” sayth she, “I were vndon:” “feare not that,” quoth I; “but, I praye the,” quoth I, “say nothing but trouth.” “I wyll not,” sayth shée. “Then, fyrste tell me,” quoth I, “how many vpright men and Roges dost thou knowe, or hast thou knowne and byn conuersaunt with, and what their names be?” She paused a whyle, and sayd, “why do you aske me, or wherefore?” “For nothinge els,” as I sayde, “but that I woulde knowe them when they came to my gate.” “Nowe, by my trouth” (quoth she) “then are yea neuer the neare, for all myne acquayntaunce, for the moste parte, are deade.” “Dead!” quoth I, “howe dyed they, for wante of cherishinge, or of paynefull diseases?” Then she sighed, and sayde they were hanged. “What, all?” quoth I, “and so manye walke abroade, as I dayelye see?” “By my trouth,” quoth she, “I {75} knowe not paste six or seuen by their names,” and named the same to me. “When were they hanged?” quoth I. “Some seuen yeares a gone, some thrée yeares, and some w_i_t_h_in this fortnight,” and declared the place where they weare executed, which I knewe well to bée true, by the report of others. “Why” (quoth I) “dyd not this sorrowfull and fearefull sight much greue the, and for thy tyme longe and euyll spent?” “I was sory,” quoth shée, “by the Masse; for some of them were good louing men. For I lackt not when they had it, and they wanted not when I had it, and diuers of them I neuer dyd forsake, vntyll the Gallowes departed vs.” “O, mercyfull God!” quoth I, and began to blesse me. “Why blesse ye?” quoth she. “Alas! good gentleman, euery one muste haue a lyuinge.” Other matters I talked of; but this nowe maye suffice to shewe the Reader, as it weare in a glasse, the bolde beastly lyfe of these Doxes. For suche as hath gone anye tyme abroade, wyll neuer forsake their trade, to dye therefore. I haue hadde good profe thereof. There is one, a notorious harlot, of this affinitye, called Besse Bottomelye; she hath but one hande, and she hath murthered two children at the least.

[Footnote 154: _bryberinge._ B.]

[Sidenote: [leaf 24, back]]

¶ A DELL. Cap. 21.

++A Dell is a yonge wenche, able for generation, and not yet knowen or broken by the vpright man. These go abroade yong, eyther by the death of their parentes, and no bodye to looke vnto them, or els by some sharpe mystres that they serue, do runne away out of seruice; eyther she is naturally borne one, and then she is a wyld Dell: these are broken verye yonge; when they haue béene lyen with all by the vpright man, then they be Doxes, and no Dels. These wylde dels, beinge traded vp with their monstrous mothers, must of necessytie be as euill, or worsse, then their parents, for neither we gather grapes from gréene bryars, neither fygs from Thystels. But such buds, such blosoms, such euyll sede sowen, wel worsse beinge growen. {76}

¶ A KYNCHIN MORTE. Cap. 22.

++A Kynching Morte is a lytle Gyrle: the Mortes their mothers carries them at their backes in their slates, whiche is their shetes, and bryngs them vp sauagely[155], tyll they growe to be rype, and soone rype, soone rotten.

¶ A KYNCHEN CO. Cap. 23.

++A Kynchen Co is a young boye, traden vp to suche peuishe purposes as you haue harde of other young ympes before, that when he groweth vnto yeres, he is better to hang then to drawe forth.

¶ THEIR VSAGE IN THE NIGHT. Cap. 24.

++NOw I thinke it not vnnecessary to make the Reader vnderstand how and in what maner they lodge a nights in barnes or backe houses, and of their vsage there, for asmuch as I haue acquaynted them with their order and practises a day times. The arche and chiefe walkers that hath walked a long time, whose experience is great, because of their continuinge practise, I meane all Mortes and Doxes, for their handsomnes and diligence for making of their couches. The men neuer trouble them selues with _tha_t thing, but takes the same to be the dutye of _th_e wyfe. And she shuffels vp a quayntitye of strawe or haye into some pretye carner of the barne [leaf 25] where she maye conuenientlye lye, and well shakethe the same, makinge the heade some what hye, and dryues the same vpon the sydes and fete lyke abed: then she layeth her wallet, or some other lytle pack of ragges or scrype vnder her heade in the strawe, to beare vp the same, and layethe her petycote or cloke vpon and ouer the strawe, so made lyke a bedde, and that serueth for the blancket. Then she layeth her slate, which is her sheete, vpon that; and she haue no shéete, as fewe of them goe without, then she spreddeth some large cloutes or rags ouer the same, and maketh her ready, and layeth her drouselye downe. Many wyll plucke of their smockes, and laye the same vpon them in stede of their vpper shéete, and all her other pelte and {77} trashe vpon her also; and many lyeth in their smockes. And if the rest of her clothes in colde weather be not sufficient to kepe her warme, then she taketh strawe or haye to performe the matter. The other sorte, that haue not slates, but toumble downe and couche a hogshead in their clothes, these bée styll lousye, and shall neuer be with out vermyn, vnlesse they put of theire clothes, and lye as is a boue sayde. If the vpright man come in where they lye, he hath his choyse, and crepeth in close by his Doxe: the Roge hath his leauings. If the Morts or Doxes lye or be lodged in some Farmers barne, and the dore be ether locked or made fast to them, then wyl not the vpright man presse to come in, Vnles it be in barnes and oute houses standinge alone, or some distance from houses, which be commonly knowne to them, As saint Quintens, thrée Cranes of the vintrey, Saynt Tybbes, and Knapsbery. These foure be with in one myle compasse neare vnto London. Then haue you iiij. more in Middlesex, drawe the pudding out of the fyre in Harrow on the hyll parish, _th_e Crose Keyes in Cranford[156] parish, Saynt Iulyans in Thystell worth parish, the house of pyty in Northhall parysh. These are their chiefe houses neare about London, where commonly they resorte vnto for Lodginge, and maye repaire thether freelye at all tymes. Sometyme shall come in some Roge, some pyckinge knaue, a nymble Prygge; he walketh in softly a nightes, when they be at their rest, and plucketh of as many garmentes as be ought worth that he maye come by, and worth money, and maye easely cary the same, and runneth a waye with the same with great seleritye, and maketh porte sale at some conuenient place of theirs, that some be soone ready in the morning, for want of their Casters _and_ Togema_n_s. Where in stéede of blessinge is cursing; in place of praying, pestelent prating with odious othes _and_ terrible threatninges. The vpright men haue geuen all these nycke names to the places aboue sayde. Y[e]t haue [leaf 25, back] we two notable places in Kent, not fare from London: the one is betwene Detforde and Rothered, called the Kynges barne, standing alone, that they haunt commonly; the other is Ketbroke, standinge by blacke heath, halfe a myle from anye house. There wyll they boldlye drawe the latche of the doore, and {78} go in when the good man with hys famyly be at supper, and syt downe without leaue, and eate and drinke with them, and either lye in the hall by the fyre all night, or in _th_e barne, if there be no rome in the house for them. If the doore be eyther bolted or lockt, if it be not opened vnto them when they wyl, they wyl breake the same open to his farther cost. And in this barne sometyme do lye xl. vpright men with their Doxes together at one time. And this must the poore Farmer suffer, or els they threaten him to burne him, and all that he hath.

[Footnote 155: B. reads _safely_]

[Footnote 156: 1573 reads _Crayford_.]

――――

THE NAMES OF THE VPRIGHT MEN, ROGES, AND PALLYARDS.

++HEre followeth the vnrulye rablement of rascals, and the moste notoryous and wyckedst walkers that are lyuinge nowe at this present, with their true names as they be called and knowne by. And although I set and place here but thre orders, yet, good Reader, vnderstand that all the others aboue named are deriued and come out from the vpright men and Roges. Concerning the number of Mortes and Doxes, it is superfluous to wryte of them. I could well haue don it, but the number of them is great, and woulde aske a large volume.

¶ UPRIGHT MEN.

A.[157]

Antony Heymer. Antony Iackeson.

B.

Burfet. Bryan medcalfe.

C.

Core the Cuckold. Chrystouer Cooke.

D.

Dowzabell skylfull in fence. Dauid Coke. Dycke Glouer. Dycke Abrystowe. Dauid Edwardes. Dauid Holand. Dauid Iones.

E.

Edmund Dun, a singing man. Edward Skiner, _alias_ Ned Skinner. Edward Browne.

F.

Follentine Hylles. Fardinando angell. Fraunces Dawghton. {79}

G.

Gryffin. Great Iohn Graye. George Marrinar. George Hutchinson.

H.