Chapter 8

USE OF MONEY.

Emma found a great deal to think about in this letter, and it led to frequent talk with her mother about the heathen, for whom she began to feel much concern. When she heard how Christian people were trying to help them, and had read some accounts which her mother lent to her, telling of the happy change that, through the blessing of God, had been brought about in many cases by the preaching of the gospel, she wished that Louisa and herself could join in doing something, though ever so little, for this good cause. The love of Christ was in her heart: when this is the case, it will be sure to show itself in love for the souls of others.

But Louisa, when spoken to on the subject, said that she had not anything to give. "I am very sorry, though, that the poor Hindoos should worship idols," she said; "and when I grow older, and have more money, I will do a great deal for them, depend upon it."

"But why not help them a little _now_?" said Emma.

"Because I have no money," replied Louisa; "no money I mean except what is in my little savings bank, and I should not like to part with that. As for you, Emma, you never can save up a shilling; so that I am sure you have not anything to spare."

"Ah," said Emma, "that is true, to be sure; I never can save my money, and so I will tell you what I mean to do. Mamma gives us threepence a week, to spend as we please, you know; but I will only take twopence for the time to come, and I shall ask her to give the other pennies to the Tract Society at the end of the year. Four shillings and fourpence is not much, indeed, yet it will buy some nice little books for the Hindoo children in the schools; and if you will also give a penny a week, that will buy just as many more."

It was of no use. Louisa would not be persuaded to do anything for the heathen _yet_. Emma gave her penny a week, and felt happy in giving it; while Louisa only talked of doing so by and by. If Louisa had loved her Saviour and her Bible, she would have felt it a delight to assist in sending the glad tidings of the gospel to heathen lands; but when the heart has not been changed by the Holy Spirit, we feel but little concern for our own souls, and do not care for the salvation of others.

Emma was not led away by the example of her sister; but as she grew older she seemed to grow in grace, and in the knowledge and love of Christ. This will always be the case with those who believe the promises of God, and seek for divine assistance to enable them to obey his word. We can do nothing of ourselves, for we are poor, guilty, helpless sinners: but God, who has given his only Son to die for our sins, has also promised to give his Holy Spirit to them that ask it. Therefore, though we feel ourselves ever so weak and sinful, we need not despair of growing better, if we also feel our need of Christ, and go to him for help and pardon.

Louisa and Emma had often heard that life is short and uncertain; but it is not easy for young people to feel the truth of this while they are healthy and strong. When Emma was about twelve years old she was taken very ill, so that there was from the first but little hope that she would recover. Then she felt that it is an awful thing to die; and the thought of the soul, which cannot die, and of heaven and hell, were far more solemn than they had ever seemed to her before. At first she was greatly afraid of death, for she knew she was a sinner, and deserving of the anger of God; but by degrees, as she lay on her sick bed, there came into her mind many sweet verses of the Bible, which she had learned in her days of health, and which gave her comfort, by telling her of the love of Jesus the Lamb of God, who taketh away the sins of the world. Do you think she was sorry, now, that she had spent so many hours in reading that holy and blessed book? No; for the promises of mercy and salvation which it held out to her was her only support through many hours of pain and suffering, when death seemed near, and eternity close at hand. Though too ill to read, or even to listen to the words of life, she could remember many of them in her heart, and think of them to her comfort in this season of trial. Sometimes she was able to talk to her mother for a few minutes, when it was plain that her mind was chiefly filled with thoughts of Christ and things divine. And she often said that, if it should be the will of God to restore her to health, she hoped for grace to devote herself to his service, and to live more to his glory than she had ever done before. She also spoke oftener to her sister, begging her to think of her soul, to read her Bible more, and to seek for the pardon of her sins; and Louisa, who was in great distress at the thought of losing her, was ready to promise anything that she asked. But it did not appear that she was under any concern for her own state; and this was a great trouble to poor Emma, who now felt more than ever the need of preparing for the world to come.

It pleased God to spare her life, though she grew better very slowly, and it was many weeks before she could leave her room. When her long and painful illness was over, she was again able to share with Louisa in her lessons and her pleasures, so that in time those weeks of grief and suffering seemed to be forgotten; but they were not forgotten by Emma: she did not forget the mercies she had received, and the resolve which she had made of leading a holy life: she daily prayed for an humble and watchful mind, and for grace to keep her from falling into sin; and, as you may suppose, she loved her Bible more and more for the comfort which it had given her in the time of trouble. She still took pleasure in reading it alone, and prayed that she might have grace to obey its commands, so that it might be a lamp unto her feet and a light unto her path. Psa. cxix, 105.