Chapter 2

"It would be shocking to man's reverence for womanhood and faith in woman ... that woman should be permitted to mix professionally in all the nastiness which finds its way into courts of justice."

It then names thirteen subjects as unfit for the attention of women--three of them are crimes committed against women.

Consistency

("Vile insults, lewd talk and brutal conduct were used by the indicted men to frighten respectable women who went to the polls in Terre Haute at the last election, asserted District Attorney Dailey."--_Press Dispatch_.)

Are the polls unfit for decent women?

No, sir, they are perfectly orderly.

Tut, tut! Go there at once and swear and be brutal, or what will become of our anti-suffrage argument?

Sometimes We're Ivy, and Sometimes We're Oak

Is it true that the English government is calling on women to do work abandoned by men?

Yes, it is true.

Is not woman's place the home?

No, not when men need her services outside the home.

Will she never be told again that her place is the home?

Oh, yes, indeed.

When?

As soon as men want their jobs back again.

Do You Know

That in 1869 Miss Jex-Blake and four other women entered for a medical degree at the University of Edinburgh?

That the president of the College of Physicians refused to give the women the prizes they had won?

That the undergraduates insulted any professor who allowed women to compete for prizes?

That the women were stoned in the streets, and finally excluded from the medical school?

That in 1877 the British Medical Association declared women ineligible for membership?

That in 1881 the International Medical Congress excluded women from all but its "social and ceremonial meetings"?

That the Obstetrical Society refused to allow a woman's name to appear on the title page of a pamphlet which she had written with her husband?

That according to a recent dispatch from London, many hospitals, since the outbreak of hostilities, have asked women to become resident physicians, and public authorities are daily endeavoring to obtain women as assistant medical officers and as school doctors?

Interviews With Celebrated Anti-Suffragists

"Woman's place is in my home."--Appius Claudius.

"I have never felt the need of the ballot."--Cleopatra.

"Magna Charta merely fashionable fad of ye Barons."--King John.

"Boston Tea Party shows American colonists to be hysterical and utterly incapable of self-government."--George III.

"Know of no really good slaves who desire emancipation."--President of the United Slaveholders' Protective Association.

Another of Those Curious Coincidences

On February 15, the House of Representatives passed a bill making it unlawful to ship in interstate commerce the products of a mill, cannery or factory which have been produced by the labor of children under fourteen years.

Forty-three gentlemen voted against it.

Forty-one of those forty-three had also voted against the woman suffrage bill.

Not one single vote was cast against it by a representative from any state where women vote for Congressmen.

The New Freedom

"The Michigan commission on industrial relations has discovered," says "The Detroit Journal," "that thousands of wives support their husbands."

Woman's place is the home, but under a special privilege she is sometimes allowed to send her wages as a substitute.

To the Great Dining Out Majority

The New York State Association Opposed to Woman Suffrage is sending out leaflets to its members urging them to "tell every man you meet, your tailor, your postman, your grocer, as well as your _dinner partner_, that you are opposed to woman suffrage."

We hope that the 90,000 sewing machine operatives, the 40,000 saleswomen, the 32,000 laundry operatives, the 20,000 knitting and silk mill girls, the 17,000 women janitors and cleaners, the 12,000 cigar-makers, to say nothing of the 700,000 other women and girls in industry in New York State, will remember when they have drawn off their long gloves and tasted their oysters to tell their dinner partners that they are opposed to woman suffrage because they fear it might take women out of the home.

WOMEN'S SPHERE

Many Men to Any Woman

If you have beauty, charm, refinement, tact, If you can prove that should I set you free, You would not contemplate the smallest act That might annoy or interfere with me. If you can show that women will abide By the best standards of their womanhood-- (And I must be the person to decide What in a woman is the highest good); If you display efficiency supreme In philanthropic work devoid of pay; If you can show a clearly thought-out scheme For bringing the millennium in a day: Why, then, dear lady, at some time remote, I might consider giving you the vote.

A Sex Difference

When men in Congress come to blows at something someone said, I always notice that it shows their blood is quick and red; But if two women disagree, with very little noise, It proves, and this seems strange to me, that women have no poise.

Advice to Heroines

I

A heroine must shrink and cling When heroes are about, And thus the watching world will think: "How brave his heart and stout!" But if he chance to be away When bright-faced dangers shine, It will be best for her to play The oak-tree, not the vine. In fact the most important thing Is knowing when it's time to cling.

II

_With apologies to R.L.S._

A heroine must be polite And do what others say is right, And think men wise and formidable-- At least as far as she is able.

Mutual Vows

"My dear," he said, "observe this frightful bill, Run up, I think you'll own, against my will. If you will recollect our wedding day You vowed on that occasion to obey." "I do recall the day," said she, "and how Me with your worldly goods you did endow." "That," he replied, "is palpably absurd----" "You mean you did not mean to keep your word?" "O, yes," he answered, "in a general way." "And that," said she, "is how I meant obey."

If They Meant All They Said

Charm is a woman's strongest arm; My charwoman is full of charm; I chose her, not for strength of arm But for her strange elusive charm.

And how tears heighten woman's powers! My typist weeps for hours and hours: I took her for her weeping powers-- They so delight my business hours.

A woman lives by intuition. Though my accountant shuns addition She has the rarest intuition. (And I myself can do addition.)

Timidity in girls is nice. My cook is so afraid of mice. Now you'll admit it's very nice To feel your cook's afraid of mice.

Democracy

Democracy is this--to hold That all who wander down the pike In cart or car, on foot or bike, Or male or female, young or old, Are much alike--are much alike.

Feminism

"Mother, what is a Feminist?" "A Feminist, my daughter, Is any woman now who cares To think about her own affairs As men don't think she oughter."

The Warning

No, it isn't home neglecting If you spend your time selecting Seven blouses and a jacket and a hat; Or to give your day to paying Needless visits, or to playing Auction bridge. What critic could object to that? But to spend two precious hours At a lecture! Oh, my powers, The home is all a woman needs to learn. And an hour, or a quarter, Spent in voting! Why, my daughter, You could not find your home on your return.

Evolution

Said Mr. Jones in 1910: "Women, subject yourselves to men." Nineteen-Eleven heard him quote: "They rule the world without the vote." By Nineteen-Twelve, he would submit "When all the women wanted it." By Nineteen-Thirteen, looking glum, He said that it was bound to come. This year I heard him say with pride: "No reasons on the other side!" By Nineteen-Fifteen, he'll insist He's always been a suffragist. And what is really stranger, too, He'll think that what he says is true.

Intercepted

"Only the worst of them vote." "Are not the suffragists frights?" "Nietzsche's the person to quote." "I prefer love to my rights."

"Are not the suffragists frights?" "Sex is their only appeal." "I prefer love to my rights." "No, we don't think, but we feel."

"Sex is their only appeal." "Woman belongs at the loom." "No, we don't think, but we feel." "Doesn't it rub off the bloom?"

"Woman belongs at the loom." "Isn't the speaker a bore!" "Doesn't it rub off the bloom?" "Oh, it's a fad--nothing more."

"Isn't the speaker a bore!" "Nietzsche's the person to quote." "Oh, it's a fad--nothing more." "Only the worst of them vote."

The Universal Answer

Oh, there you go again, Invading man's domain! It's Nature's laws, you know, you are defying. Don't fancy that you can Be really like a man, So what's the use of all this fuss and trying? It seems to me so clear, That women's highest sphere Is being loving wives and patient mothers. Oh, can't you be content To be as you were meant? {souls For {books belong to husbands and to brothers. {votes

Candor

(_By an admirer of the late H.C. Bunner_.)

"I know what you're going to say," she said, And she stood up, causing him some alarm; "You're going to tell me I'll lose my charm, And what is a woman when charm has fled? And you're going to say that you greatly fear I don't understand a woman's sphere; Now aren't you honestly?" "Yes," he said.

"I know what you're going to say," she said, "You're going to ask what I hope to gain By stepping down to the dusty plain, By seeking a stone when I might have bread; You're going to say: 'Can a vote replace The tender force of a woman's grace?' Now, aren't you honestly?" "Yes," he said.

"I know what you're going to do," he said, "You're going to talk to me all day long Trying to make me see I'm wrong; And other men who are less misled Will pale with jealousy when they see The time you give to converting me; Now, aren't you honestly?" "Ye-es," she said.

What Every Woman Must Not Say

"I don't pretend I'm clever," he remarked, "or very wise," And at this she murmured, "Really," with the right polite surprise. "But women," he continued, "I must own I understand; Women are a contradiction--honorable and underhand-- Constant as the star Polaris, yet as changeable as Fate, Always flying what they long for, always seeking what they hate." "Don't you think," began the lady, but he cut her short: "I see That you take it personally--women always do," said he. "You will pardon me for saying every woman is the same, Always greedy for approval, always sensitive to blame; Sweet and passionate are women; weak in mind, though strong in soul; Even you admit, I fancy, that they have no self-control?" "No, I don't admit they haven't," said the patient lady then, "Or they could not sit and listen to the nonsense talked by men."

Chivalry

It's treating a woman politely As long as she isn't a fright: It's guarding the girls who act rightly, If you can be judge of what's right; It's being--not just, but so pleasant; It's tipping while wages are low; It's making a beautiful present, And failing to pay what you owe.

_From Our Own Nursery Rhymes_

"Chivalry, Chivalry, where have you been?" "I've been out seeking a beautiful queen." "Chivalry, Chivalry, what did you find?" "Commonplace women, not much to my mind."

Women

(_With rather insincere apologies to Mr. Rudyard Kipling_.)

I went to ask my government if they would set me free, They gave a pardoned crook a vote, but hadn't one for me; The men about me laughed and frowned and said: "Go home, because We really can't be bothered when we're busy making laws."

Oh, it's women this, and women that and women have no sense, But it's pay your taxes promptly when it comes to the expense, It comes to the expense, my dears, it comes to the expense, It's pay your taxes promptly when it comes to the expense.

I went into a factory to earn my daily bread: Men said: "The home is woman's sphere." "I have no home," I said. But when the men all marched to war, they cried to wife and maid, "Oh, never mind about the home, but save the export trade."

For it's women this and women that, and home's the place for you, But it's patriotic angels when there's outside work to do, There's outside work to do, my dears, there's outside work to do, It's patriotic angels when there's outside work to do.

We are not really senseless, and we are not angels, too, But very human beings, human just as much as you. It's hard upon occasions to be forceful and sublime When you're treated as incompetents three-quarters of the time.

But it's women this and women that, and woman's like a hen, But it's do the country's work alone, when war takes off the men, And it's women this and women that and everything you please, But woman is observant, and be sure that woman sees.

Beware!

In the days that are gone when a statue was wanted In park or museum where statues must be, A chivalrous male would come forward undaunted And say: "If you must have one, make it of me. Bad though they be, yet I'll agree If you must make them, why make them of me."

But chivalry's dead, as I always expected Since women would not let things stay as they were; So now, I suppose, when a statue's erected Men will say brutally: "Make it of her." She may prefer things as they were When they start making the statues of her.

Male Philosophy

Men are very brave, you know, That was settled long ago; Ask, however, if you doubt it, Any man you meet about it; He will say, I think, like me, Men are brave as they can be.

Women think they're brave, you say? Do they really? Well, they may, But such biased attestation Is not worth consideration, For a legal judgment shelves What they say about themselves.

From a Man's Point of View

Women love self-sacrifice Suffering and good advice; If they don't love these sincerely Then they're not true women really. Oh, it shocks me so to note Women pleading for the vote! Saying publicly it would Educate and do them good. Such a selfish reason trips Oddly from a woman's lips. But it must not be supposed I am in the least opposed. If they want it let them try it. For I think we'll profit by it.

Glory

I went to see old Susan Gray, Whose soldier sons had marched away, And this is what she had to say:

"It isn't war I hate at all-- 'Tis likely men must fight-- But, oh, these flags and uniforms, It's them that isn't right! If war must come, and come it does To take our boys from play, It isn't right to make it seem So beautiful and gay."

I left old Susan with a sigh; A famous band was marching by To make men glad they had to die.

Dependence

(An Englishwoman whose income has stopped owing to her two sons having joined the English army, was taken care of last night at the Florence Crittenden Mission.--_Press Clipping_.)

The young men said to their mother, "Hear us, O dearest and best! Time cannot cool or smother The love of you in our breast; Here is your place and no other-- Come home and rest."

And the mother's heart was grateful For the love of her cherished ones, And her labor, bitter and hateful, She left at the word of her sons, Till she heard far off the fateful Voices of guns.

Their love did more enslave her; They did not understand That none could guard or save her When war was on the land, But herself, and God, who gave her Heart and mind and hand.

Playthings

Last year the shops were crowded With soldier suits and guns-- The presents that at Christmas time We give our little sons; And many a glittering trumpet And many a sword and drum; But as they're made in Germany This year they will not come.

Perhaps another season We shall not give our boys Such very warlike playthings, Such military toys; Perhaps another season We shall not think it sweet To watch their game of soldier men, Who dream not of defeat.

Militants

Hippolta, Penthesilea, Maria Teresa and Joan, Agustina and Boadicea And some militant girls of our own-- It would take a brave man and a dull one To say to these ladies: "Of course We adore you while meek, Timid, clinging and weak, But a woman can never use force."

A Lady's Choice

Her old love in tears and silence had been building her a palace Ringed by moats and flanked with towers, he had set it on a hill "Here," he said, "will come no whisper of the world's alarms and malice, In these granite walls imprisoned, I will keep you safe from ill."

As he spoke along the highway there came riding by a stranger, For an instant on her features, he a fleeting glance bestowed, Then he said: "My heart is fickle and the world is full of danger," And he offered her his stirrup and he pointed down the road.

The Ballad of Lost Causes

(_About 465 years after Villon_.)

Tell me in what spot remote Do the antis dwell to-day, Those who did not want to vote, Feared their sex's prompt decay? Where are those who used to say: "Home alone is woman's sphere; Only those should vote who slay"? Where the snows of yester-year?

Where are those who used to quote Nietzsche's words in dread array? Where the ancient crones who wrote: "Women rule through Beauty's sway"? And those lovers, where are they, Who could hold no woman dear If she had the ballot? Nay! Where the snows of yester-year?

Prince, inquire no more, I pray, Whither antis disappear. Suffrage won; they melt away, Like the snows of yester-year.

Thoughts at an Anti Meeting

There are no homes in suffrage states, There are no children, glad and good, There, men no longer seek for mates, And women lose their womanhood.

This I believe without debate, And yet I ask--and ask in vain-- Why no one in a suffrage state Has moved to change things back again?

A MASQUE OF TEACHERS

AND

THE UNCONSCIOUS SUFFRAGISTS

The Ideal Candidates

(A by-law of the New York Board of Education says: "No married woman shall be appointed to any teaching or supervising position in the New York public schools unless her husband is mentally or physically incapacitated to earn a living or has deserted her for a period of not less than one year.")

CHARACTERS

_Board of Education_. _Three Would-Be Teachers_.

_Chorus by Board_: Now please don't waste Your time and ours By pleas all based On mental powers. She seems to us The proper stuff Who has a hus- Band bad enough. All other pleas appear to us Excessively superfluous.

_1st Teacher_: My husband is not really bad----

_Board_: How very sad, how very sad!

_1st Teacher_: He's good, but hear my one excuse----

_Board_: Oh, what's the use, oh, what's the use?

_1st Teacher_: Last winter in a railroad wreck He lost an arm and broke his neck. He's doomed, but lingers day by day.

_Board_: Her husband's doomed! Hurray! hurray!

_2nd Teacher_: My husband's kind and healthy, too----

_Board_: Why, then, of course, you will not do.

_2nd Teacher_: Just hear me out. You'll find you're wrong. It's true his body's good and strong; But, ah, his wits are all astray.

_Board_: Her husband's mad. Hip, hip, hurray!

_3rd Teacher_: My husband's wise and well--the creature!

_Board_: Then you can never be a teacher.

_3rd Teacher_: Wait. For I led him such a life He could not stand me as a wife; Last Michaelmas, he ran away.

_Board_: Her husband hates her, Hip, hurray!

_Chorus by Board_: Now we have found Without a doubt, By process sound And well thought out, Each candidate Is fit in truth To educate The mind of youth. No teacher need apply to us Whose married life's harmonious.

(_Curtain_.)

The Unconscious Suffragists

"They who have no voice nor vote in the electing of representatives do not enjoy liberty, but are absolutely enslaved to those who have votes."--Benjamin Franklin.

"No such phrase as virtual representation was ever known in law or constitution."--James Otis.

"But these great cities, says my honorable friend, are virtually, though not directly represented. Are not the wishes of Manchester, he asks, as much consulted as those of any other town which sends members to Parliament? Now, sir, I do not understand how a power which is salutary when exercised virtually can be noxious when exercised directly. If the wishes of Manchester have as much weight with us as they would have under a system which gives representatives to Manchester, how can there be any danger in giving representatives to Manchester?"--Lord Macaulay's Speech on the Reform Bill.

"Universal suffrage prolongs in the United States the effect of universal education: for it stimulates all citizens throughout their lives to reflect on problems outside the narrow circle of their private interests and occupations: to read about public questions; to discuss public characters and to hold themselves ready in some degree to give a rational account of their political faith."--Dr. Charles Eliot.

"But liberty is not the chief and constant object of their (the American people) desires: equality is their idol; they make rapid and sudden efforts to obtain liberty and if they miss their aim, resign themselves to their disappointment; but nothing can satisfy them without equality, and they would rather perish than lose it."--De Tocqueville: Democracy in America, 1835.

"A government is for the benefit of all the people. We believe that this benefit is best accomplished by popular government because in the long run each class of individuals is apt to secure better provision for themselves through their own voice in government than through the altruistic interest of others, however intelligent or philanthropic."--William H. Taft in Special Message.

"I have listened to some very honest and eloquent orators whose sentiments were noteworthy for this: that when they spoke of the people, they were not thinking of themselves, they were thinking of somebody whom they were commissioned to take care of. And I have seen them shiver when it was suggested that they arrange to have something done by the people for themselves."--The New Freedom, by Woodrow Wilson.