Part 3

A Girl enter’d into the third Septenary passes soon into a Woman; but commonly speaking she is much sooner such in her Person and Appetites than in her Understanding: whence arise many of those glaring Mistakes they daily commit. A Girl who is tall generally conceits she is wise; and because ’till now she has liv’d without controul, she thinks Subjection and Obedience to her Parents, mean and slavish. It would be a Reflection on young Ladies to say they have no Manners, but still it is too generally true that their Manners are false ones; springing from Pride, and influenc’d by it. A Girl (of any Figure in Life) soon knows that the World has it’s Eyes upon her; and as there are certain Motives which induce her to exert all her Skill to seem well bred, so there are certain Times she really appears to advantage: but let the Mask be thrown off; let the Restraint be taken away by which she is confin’d; and we shall soon see where her Manners lye: we shall (I am afraid) oftentimes discover that they are not the Dictates of a well-regulated Heart. But as my Tenderness for the Sex will not suffer me designedly to misrepresent things, let us examine fairly the Conduct of a young Lady according to the too general Mode of breeding.

It appears already that the first Stage of Life was wholly spent in gratifying her Humour; the second was employ’d in a superficial Education, resembling in some measure a Building ornamented without, but ill contriv’d and useless within. Self-will, Vanity and Pleasure have hitherto been her Guides; and these instead of being check’d, are in the third Stage, greatly strengthen’d and augmented: and have besides added to them a boundless Love of Power and Uncontroul. Now from such a Source what Virtues can we expect to flow? What Miseries may we not fear? Alas! too soon are we convinc’d that her whole Soul is absorb’d in Pleasures; her Head runs round with them; she is continually contriving, plotting, scheming; and all Opposition of her Parents becomes too weak: she has not, perhaps, a Spark of real Duty, nor the least Sense of her misguided Steps: and happy is it for her if her mistaken Conduct does not in the End plunge her into Sorrow too great to support. Happy is it for her if the Stream of Pleasure she is borne down with does not insensibly carry away her Honour and Virtue; or at least dash her on the fatal Rock of a miserable Marriage. Wherever this Portrait is found to be genuine, let it be remember’d, that the Painter who draws a real Likeness ought not to be blam’d for the Disagreeableness of the Features.

Many, it is true, have Fortune to support their Pleasures, however expensive or irregular; but where that fails, where Fortune is small, and the Propensity to Pleasure great, Honour and Virtue stand so very tottering, that they are in perpetual Danger: and if with this unbridled Love of Pleasure, there be a tolerable share of Wit or Beauty, or both; who that reflects, can help trembling even at the Apprehension of a Fall? But tho’ a young Lady should escape those innumerable Calamities which her giddy Conduct has laid her open to, what Hopes are there, that she who has never borne Contradiction, will so demean herself as to become amiable in the Eyes of others, or be happy in herself?

I could with great facility delineate a variety of shapes hideous to behold, which young People of both Sexes shew themselves in, when guided only by their Passions; but, to avoid Prolixity, will content myself with the general View I have already presented; and proceed to lay down such Rules as appear to me to tend most directly and securely to the avoiding the various Evils our Children are subject to, and seem most conducive to their real Happiness. But before I lay down any Precepts let me premise, that all Laws in general give Parents the sole supreme Power of governing their Children: ’tis the Order of Nature; and if her Laws are inverted, nothing but Confusion follows. If then Parents do not govern their Children at all; or what is worse, let their Children govern them, which is often the Case, the almost unavoidable Consequence will be, that Train of Irregularities and Disorders we daily see them run into; in which Case, there are but two Ways of their becoming sensible of their mistake: either from a natural Goodness of Heart awakened by Time and Experience; or from a load of Misfortunes crushing them down for want of Power to support them: now the one we ought not to trust to; and the other we should bend all our Study to prevent.

AN

ESSAY

ON THE

Government of CHILDREN.

HEALTH.

Tho’ the principal Design of this Attempt be that of regulating the Manners of Children; yet as Health and Education are of vast Importance in the Government of them, and are closely connected therewith; I think myself oblig’d to speak of what may tend to preserve the one, and, in a due Degree, promote the other. For the sake of Method I shall divide my Subject into three Parts; that is, range it under the general Heads of Health, Manners, and Education; which to me appears to be the only natural Order of treating it. Mr. _Locke_, it is true, in his Treatise on this Subject, calls the whole, Thoughts on Education; but notwithstanding that general Title to his Book, he speaks likewise of Health and Manners, and ranges them all in the Order here propos’d.

As Health is the reverse of Sickness, my Readers will easily discern that it is not the Business of this Undertaking to invade the Physician’s Province, by entering on the Cure of Diseases; but only to point out such Means as seem to have the most rational tendency to prevent them.

First then, I earnestly recommend to both Father and Mother, that their Children suck the Mother’s Breast. But why, you’ll say, take pains to address each Parent distinctly? The reason is obvious. A Man cannot be conversant in Life, and not see that many a sensible Woman, many a tender Mother, has her Heart yearning to suckle her Child, and is prevented by the misplac’d Authority of a Husband. Parents upon the whole are to be consider’d as equally and mutually concern’d in the training up their Children; therefore when I address them by that one common Epithet, I mean either, or both. But there are, both in Nature and Reason, certain Provinces assign’d to each; and a Man’s attempting to overturn them, would be as absurd and preposterous, as a Merchant’s sending his Wife to transact Business upon Change, while he stay’d at home to preside over the Nursery.

Providence, we see, without any Expence to us, kindly sends Food into the World along with the Child, by giving to the Mother a Breast flowing with Milk. But to what purpose is this bestow’d? To be neglected and render’d fruitless? No surely; we cannot think thus indignantly of so great a Blessing. But besides this evident Design of Providence, there is another important Consideration; which is, that Mothers by suckling their Children cherish that Tenderness which Nature has implanted in them towards their Offspring. For Experience shews, that the Office of suckling considerably augments in them the Affection from whence that Tenderness flows; serves as Fuel to keep their fond Breasts in one perpetual Glow; and by sweetening their Care, enables them likewise to bring the tender Infants thro’ their helpless Age?

Another Argument for suckling, which is not sufficiently attended to, because not sufficiently known, is, that the Anxiety and Fatigue is perhaps fully compensated by the Pleasure. The provident Author of Nature has order’d in this, as in all, or most other Things, right and natural, that the Inducement shall more than balance the Discouragement. All Mothers who have experienc’d it, whose Minds are temper’d with natural Affection, assure us, that there is an inexpressible Pleasure in giving Suck, which none but Mothers know; for besides that the Sensation itself is said to be mighty pleasing; to behold the Innocence, the Cunning, the Tricks, and the various Whims of a Child; to observe likewise the early Sentiments they discover; must doubtless give a Pleasure which no Words can describe. Now if thus much be granted (and surely no Arguments can reason it away) I cannot help advising in the strongest Terms, that every Father consent, and even promote, that the Child be suckled by it’s Mother; if the Mother be in a Condition for it. But then, this Compliance, this Leave, if I must call it such, should be cordial, and from the Heart; otherwise a Mother, tho’ the best Nurse in the World, may become the most improper one, by a Husband’s so far souring her Temper, as to render her Milk, not only good for nothing, but even pernicious.

The general Good of all being what I aim at, I mean to offer the same Advice to all, as far as it can be practised; and therefore speak according to the Nature of Things. Still I am not insensible how little Probability there is that my Advice herein will be follow’d by Persons in high Life. For what Room is there in general to hope, that a fine Lady will lay herself under any of the necessary Restraints towards acting the Part of a good Nurse, and generously give up some of the vainer Pleasures of Life, in order to stoop to this Part of domestic Care? It is true that there may sometimes be important Reasons which may make their doing so improper; but it is greatly to be fear’d that those Reasons are oftener affected than real; and as this is a Duty not so easily dispensed with as People are apt to imagine, it is incumbent on Parents of the highest Rank to consider how far they are really justifiable in deviating from the Laws of Nature. But there is another important Consequence attends the Neglect with which People of Rank treat their Offspring in this Particular; that it thereby becomes a national Evil. It is universally known that the Little imitate the Great, and mostly too in what is wrong; that is, they catch their Vices sooner than their Virtues. Hence it happens, that because a Woman of the first Rank does not deign to suckle her Child, the Neglect descends to almost the lowest Rank; and many Men whose Figure in Life is very inconsiderable, scorn to bear the Noise of a Child, tho’ their own Flesh and Blood, only because it is a Practice among their Betters to remove them. And hence too the Great have two Reflections to make on this Point, the Duty they owe to their Children, and, (tho’ perhaps it is not a proper Observation here) the Influence which a Neglect of this Duty has on all beneath them.

While I am enforcing to Mothers the Duty of suckling their Children, I must endeavour to omit no material Circumstance, either that will contribute to the Ease of the one, or the Advantage of the other. The first that naturally occurs, is, the Time when a Child should be put to the Breast: and as this is a Matter variously thought of, and often erroneously managed, tho’ I could say a good deal from my own Observation, I have endeavour’d to settle it upon a much stronger Basis, _viz._ the Experience of competent Judges. Dr. _Hunter_, well known to the Public both by his Lectures in Anatomy, and his Practice in Midwifry, and one of the Men-Midwives of the Lying-in-Hospital in _Brownlow-Street_, informs me, that at the first opening of that Charity, they generally conducted the Business of suckling in the following Manner. The Child was not put to the Breast till the Milk came freely, or run out of itself; and as the Breasts commonly began to fill in about eight and forty Hours after Delivery, sooner or later, they were allowed to fill more and more, perhaps as much longer, ’till the Milk began to discharge itself: to forward this, the Breasts were frequently embrocated with warm Oil; to invite the Milk both by the Softness of the Oil, and the Motion given the Breasts by rubbing it in with the Hand. This Method was adhered to pretty generally, ’till they found by Experience that it was wrong. For besides that the Child might probably suffer in some Degree, by being so long depriv’d of it’s most natural Physick and Food, many grievous Effects often attend the Mother; _viz._ painful Swellings and Inflammations of the Breasts, Milk Fevers, and Milk Sores.

These Inconveniences induced the Physicians of that Hospital to alter the Method, which for some Time past has been as follows. The Child is put to the Breast commonly within twenty-four Hours after Delivery: and tho’ at first it sucks little, and that only a thin Serum, (which however is of singular Service to the Infant by discharging the _Meconium_ that fills the large Intestines) yet the Advantage to the Mother is, that by this means the Milk comes gradually and kindly; and before the usual Time of the Breasts hardening in the other Method, the Difficulty is conquered in this; the Milk flows freely, the Breasts are soft and easy, and the Heat of the Body continues temperate: insomuch that Dr. _Hunter_ farther assures me, that there has been much less of Inflammations of the Breasts and Milk fevers, and but one Milk Sore among upwards of fourteen hundred Women that have been deliver’d there since this Method has been pursued.[2]

Here, tho’ it is a Digression from my Subject, I cannot help reflecting with Pleasure on the Benefit arising to many industrious virtuous People from the Institution of this Hospital. Every Charitable Foundation, every Contribution to relieve the Needy, does Honour not only to those who give, but to the Nation where it is given; for when Individuals are known to be humane and benevolent, Strangers will conclude it as a national Virtue. It is certain that all public Receptacles for the Comfort and Support of the Distressed Indigent argue a compassionate Heart in those who support them, and a just Sense of others Woe; but the Lying-in-Hospital has a Delicacy in it peculiar to itself. The Ladies who contribute to it’s Support, prove, in Terms far more expressive than Words, their Sympathy with the Sufferings of their Sex; and particularly with those whom Fortune has placed the farthest from them. The Gentlemen who encourage it, and labour for it’s Promotion, shew a Tenderness which can only dwell in manly Hearts: for he certainly comes nearest to the Dignity of a Man, who has the tenderest Sense of the Sufferings of the opposite Sex; and particularly of those, which his own Existence is the necessary Cause of. But farther, most other Public Charities seem in their Nature limited; seem to extend no farther than the immediate Relief of those under their Care; whereas this is far more extensive: the Mother is comforted, and with tenderest Care brought thro’ her Child-bed; the Child (as far as Skill can reach) is safely entered on the Stage of Life; and thus is Mankind not only preserved, but perpetuated; and thus too is Society enlarged, and improved, to a boundless Degree. Thus much have I said to do justice to an Undertaking in itself highly laudable, and infallibly productive of the greatest Good. But there is another Effect, perhaps hitherto unthought of, which will necessarily attend this Hospital, and is no less than a general Concern; that of the Improvement of Midwifry: the several Gentlemen who attend it in that Capacity, cannot but have the best Foundation in their Art, that which is extended and strengthened by the frequent Occurrence of the more nice and uncommon Cases among such Variety: and the Women whom they educate to Midwifry in that Hospital, must from their many Opportunities become valuable Practitioners for such of their Sex as are inclined to employ them rather than a Man.

But to return to the Matter in hand. This Method of putting Children to the Breast much sooner than usual, corresponds with the Opinion of Dr. _Cadogan_, who in a small Pamphlet on the Management of Children, has said a great many sensible useful Things; and among the rest, he proposes, that a Child be put to the Breast in seven or eight Hours after it is born; whereby, says he, “It would not only provide for itself the best of Nourishment, but by opening a free Passage for it, take off the Mother’s Load as it increased, before it could oppress or hurt her; and therefore effectually prevent the Fever; which is caus’d only by the painful Distention of the lacteal Vessels of the Breasts, when the Milk is injudiciously suffer’d to accumulate.” To this I have two Things to add; First, to recommend to Parents that the Advice here given be reduced to Practice, unless some extraordinary Circumstances intervene; in which Case, their own Judgment must direct them to seek an Opinion suitable to the Exigence. Secondly, that all Precautions be taken to prevent the Mother’s catching Cold, or being too much fatigued in the first Days after Delivery. It is here meant, besides the Child’s having it’s most proper Nourishment, the Breast, as soon as possible; that the Mother be secured not only from the Danger of sore Breasts, but even from Inflammations and Fevers so common to the Sex in Child-bed. But while we are guarding against Mischief one way, it is no less our Duty to prevent it, if possible, every way; therefore do I again caution that the utmost Care be taken to prevent the Mother’s catching Cold, or sitting up in Bed too long for her Strength in the first Attempts to suckle her Child. It is common for a Child, when first put to the Breast, to be unapt; the Mother, especially if a young one, is often awkward; and if the Nurse be unhandy or careless, the Consequences may be fatal; and indeed frequently are so: the Reason is plain. The Perspiration which usually follows Delivery is necessary; and where Nature is defective, Art is employ’d to keep it up: if then these Sweats are salutary, whatever obstructs or checks them must be dangerous; and nothing sooner or more certainly effects this than the being injudiciously uncover’d. But besides catching Cold, there is great Danger to be apprehended from Fatigue. That too much Fatigue in these early Days after Delivery may be very pernicious, every body knows who is experienced. Nothing so common as a Woman’s having had a good Labour, and being so extremely well, that on the second, third, or fourth Day she indulges herself with the Conversation of a Friend, or sits up in Bed for some time for Refreshment; in Consequence of which she grows hot, has a restless Night, and before Morning is in a raging Fever; perhaps delirious.

The precise Time of a Child’s sucking is a Point much controverted, particularly among Ladies, but nothing ascertain’d. The present Fashion ’tis true, is to let Children suck only three or four Months; but surely this is too important an affair for Fashion to take place of Reason. From my Acquaintance with the Learned on this Head, I gather, that generally speaking a Child should not suck less than six Months, nor more than twelve; but that the Medium, that is, nine Months, is for the most part the best. Still there may be Reasons for varying these stated Times; if so, Reason in that as well as in other things should be our Guide. And farther, there may be Circumstances which impede the Mother’s suckling her Child at all; the want of Health is a principal one; but then it should be a real want of Health, not an imaginary one. Where then a Doubt arises, I advise Parents not rashly and hastily to resolve for themselves, but to consult proper Judges, and always, where it is in their Power, be determined by their Physician.

But here, as an Encouragement to Mothers to suckle their Children, I must observe, that it is the Opinion of Physicians that many Women would mend their Health by it; and very few, if any, hurt a good Constitution, unless thro’ Imprudence or Ignorance: now to obviate these, let Mothers be careful to set out right, and then they have very little to fear.

Hunger, Fatigue, and Fretting, are the three most obvious things that impair a Mother’s Health in Nursing. I say nothing of gross Intemperance, violent Passions, and the like, for they are always to be banish’d; nay we are not once to suppose they exist in the Sex. Hunger is carefully to be avoided: while the Mother gives suck, she should never let the Keenness of her Appetite go off by waiting long for her Meals; for that often repeated will sink the Spirits, fill her with Wind, impair her Strength, and consequently not only hurt herself, but prejudice her Milk also.

I confess it is my Opinion that a very nice regard to a Nurse’s Diet is not so generally necessary as is imagined. Temperance is universally to be held as a Rule; but under the appearance of avoiding one Error, they run into a greater; they often eat of very rich Dishes, and shun the use of Vegetables: whereas to People who are young and healthy, nothing is more wholsome than Vegetables blended with Meat: and the only Caution that is material to be given, is, that they guard them with Pepper; whereby they will keep under the Effect they sometimes have, of producing Wind. But should Garden Stuff, after all this, disagree, Prudence will certainly direct the Mother to disuse it; tho’ at the same time it must be own’d, that where this is the Case, her Digestion is not what it ought to be to constitute perfect Health. To this Head I will add, that where a Woman has been accustom’d to drink a glass or two of Wine or Ale at Meals, she should not debar herself from it now; as her waste of Strength and Spirits certainly demand at least her usual way of Life; tho’ it does not seem needful for her to go far beyond it.

By Fatigue I mean so much Exercise as manifestly impairs the Strength, or brings on various Pains, so as to render a Mother incapable of executing what she has begun; or at least makes the Office extremely slavish to her. Exercise is good, but Fatigue is bad. There are so many different Conditions in this great Family of the World, and so many different Circumstances in each Station, that it is impossible to lay down Rules for every Individual, or prescribe an universal one for all; in general I recommend on this occasion the joint Attention of both Father and Mother. If a Man reflects that while his Wife is suckling her Child, she is labouring to compleat the principal Work for which they came together, he cannot surely suffer her to endure Fatigue beyond her Power to bear; nor can he feel for her that Tenderness he ought, if he imposes any Hardship on her that can be dispens’d with. On the other hand, the Mother is to remember, that besides being chearful and keeping her Mind at rest, she must keep her Limbs at rest too; that is, she must often forego other Exercise, that she may be enabled to bestow a larger Portion of Kindness on her Child.