Part 17

The seeming Resemblance of Genius and Inclination may make some People take them for the same thing. Genius is a natural Gift, a Power in the Soul to do what another, without that Genius, cannot do: Inclination is a natural Propensity to pursue some certain Employment, whether we have Genius to execute it or not. We are told of _Cicero_, that no Man had a stronger Inclination to be a Poet than himself; yet with all his great Abilities he had not a Genius for it. So in our own Times, we have seen Men with the greatest Itch of Writing produce nothing that argued Genius; some fond of Music almost to Distraction, without a Power of acquiring it: and others with a Passion for Painting, whose Genius amounted to nothing more than to dawb. On the other hand, there are Men possessed of Genius, but devoid of Inclination; so true is it, that however similar they appear, they are really distinct in themselves, sometimes very near to, at other times very distant from, one another. But to return to our Subject. As we have observed, that uncommon Genius is not to be always expected, and as we have shewn, that general good Capacity seldom is wanting; nothing more remains but to learn what Employment will suit our Sons Temper and Inclinations, and then compleat their Education accordingly. For surely it is wrong to insist on a Boy’s applying to the Law, when the Delight of his Soul is the Study of Physic and the Knowledge of Nature. Or is it not wrong to pin another down to the Study of Divinity, when Commerce engrosses his whole Attention; or his dauntless Heart burns to traverse the Ocean? and is it not equally wrong to make a Boy a Merchant, who delights in the Study of the Law? most certainly. These therefore are the things we must attend to, these the general Steps to be taken or avoided; and as none but general Rules can be laid down, the particular Exceptions every Parent’s Judgment must supply.

A young Lady of the second Rank comes next under my Consideration: but as I have dwelt pretty largely on the Woman of Quality, I have not occasion to say much here. One material Distinction to be made in a Lady of this Class is, whether she is an only Child, an Heiress, no Brother in the way to enjoy the Estate; or whether she is only a younger Child, and is to share the Fate of her younger Brothers or Sisters. In the first Case, I would recommend that her Education approach to that of a Woman of Quality, since it is highly probable she will become one; at least if her Education, Conduct, and Deportment correspond with those of superior Rank, she will always be Company for them: but, in the other Case, that is, where a Brother sweeps away the Estate, it is certain that her Education need not be so brilliant, nor ought to be so expensive as in the first. Yet let not this damp a young Lady’s Spirits; I do not mean to make her less happy, nor recommend the least Neglect of her; far from it. A State Coach with three Footmen answers no better than a plain Coach with one, for all the Purposes of a Coach: and a Diamond Necklace keeps a Lady no warmer than a Necklace of inferior Value. Thus it is with the Education of a Woman of Quality; it is in some measure merely ornamental, without being essential to her Happiness. Still it is fit it should be so. When the Superscription of a Letter begins with Her Grace, or Right Honourable, when a Coach or Chair appears with a Coronet, ’tis fit that due Deference and due Distance be observed; and to secure this, ’tis fit that her Education have a suitable Dignity. But, as I have just observed, this is not essential to her Happiness: and if those in private Life, and of moderate Fortunes, aim at equalling these either in external Appearances, or in too exalted an Education, they are pretty sure of running into Error; for Happiness much depends on an Education suited to our Condition in Life. Thus while I esteem it a Misfortune for a Woman of Rank not to appear to the utmost Advantage, it seems no less a Misfortune for a young Lady in private Life vainly to aspire at equalling her.

Still I warmly urge, that no contemptuous Neglect be shewn her; let her be taught as thorough a Knowledge of her Mother-tongue as if she were a Princess; let her too write, and dance, and speak _French_ to Perfection: Music too I recommend, but not to Perfection. Here, I am afraid, my Readers will start, and think that either the Author or the Printer has committed an Error; but a little Patience, and we shall, I hope, understand one another. When we consult a Physician, or a Council, they take the Fee, and give us their Opinion; which Opinion we may either reject or follow as we please. When I set out in this Undertaking, I declared myself not a Lawgiver, but an Adviser; as such then let me be considered. I speak my Mind freely, and like an honest Lawyer give my Opinion honestly; where the Advice is good, follow it; where erroneous, reject it: thus should all reasonable People do, taking along with them this Caution, not to condemn rashly and precipitately, but weigh the Matter well; and neither lavishly bestow unjust Praises, nor unfairly rob Merit of it’s Due. This premised, I return to my Subject. It is very certain, that a young Lady of this Class should learn Music; it gives her a sprightly pleasing Air; it is a fine Relaxation from more serious Employments; and it greatly contributes to keep up a Chearfulness thro’ the whole Family: but I would not have her ambitious to excel; and I think Parents ought not to covet it. To attain Music to great Perfection, and to study the _Italian_ for that Purpose, is a Work of great Labour, Time, and Expence; too much by far to gain what at last amounts to no more than an Amusement. Ladies of great Rank and Fortune have every thing at their Command, therefore should aim at Perfection in all they undertake; but those in more private Life, have certainly other things to do. They are, by all the Rules of Prudence, to be taught to work: they should be taught to know too, that they must reduce their Theory to Practice. They are to stoop likewise to domestic Cares; whereby they will often be enabled to boast a Happiness which greater Ladies are Strangers to. But supposing that either to gratify herself or her Friends she engages deeply in the Study of Music; Parents are here often cajoled out of their Money, and their Senses too, by their Daughter’s fancied Excellence: and the same Man that is lavish in his Praises to the fond Father’s Face, will perhaps in the very next Company swear the Girl squeaks like a Pig. There is a great deal of Insincerity, nay the grossest Flattery, attends this kind of Study; and Parents in general have need of better Eyes than common to see thro’ it. However, not to injure the young Lady’s Capacity, I will grant that she really does excel: still I say, her Time might have been much better employed in acquiring more useful Knowledge: such as is properly suited to her Station. There are yet other Inconveniencies attending this Study when a Lady excels, or has the Reputation of it; that of exposing both her and the Parents to a great deal of gay Company at least, if no worse; such as tends to dissipate the Mind, to shut out Reflection, and thereby check or prevent the Knowledge of more weighty Obligations: and it often likewise exposes them to a great deal of ill-timed Expence: which, as every Day’s Experience shews us, frequently does great Harm, but seldom any Good.

It is certain that every populous Place, especially a polite City like _London_, ought to have some Entertainments of this Kind; and Persons of Quality and Fortune should give due Encouragement to them, as the Performers make it their Bread, and labour their whole Lives to excel, that they may give them the utmost Entertainment in their Power: all this, I say, is highly reasonable, if reasonably used. But will not a Concert, an Opera, or an Oratorio always furnish this? most certainly. Is it worth a young Lady’s while, whose Fortune perhaps will be but scanty, to consume a great deal of Time and Money, and at last fall short of a Stage-performer? by no Means: any more than it is an Honour to a Man of Quality to be called the first Fiddle in the Kingdom; or for a Gentleman to boast that he can beat his Coachman at driving.

If to the Steps already laid down of a young Lady’s Education of this Rank be added Arithmetic, Drawing, and Geography, I think every thing will be done that her Parents need Wish; and enough, if well improved, to enable her to make a very advantageous Figure. Still she should be taught to know that this is only learning the Road; and she herself, with these Guides, is to take care not to go wrong: good Company, good Books, and an Attention to her own Actions, are to compleat her. She should not aim at more deep or learned Studies, which probably would only make her affected or pedantic; make her a Pain to herself, and disgustful to all who converse with her, particularly her own Sex. Knowledge does not consist in Words, but in Things; and a Language, merely as a Language, conveys only the Knowledge of Words. If on this Foundation, and with these Materials, she builds with Care, with Diligence and Judgment, I dare affirm, that these alone will furnish her with every Means of being wise and happy.

I am now to treat of the third Class of People, the Men of Trade and Commerce, in which I comprize the Merchants, and all those that are usually distinguished by the Epithets of genteel Trades and good Businesses: such as require Figure, Credit, Capital, and many other Circumstances to conduct and support them: But I confess there is no small Difficulty herein. In some Countries the Gentry and the Men of Trade are as distinct People as if each were a Kingdom by itself: _England_, a trading Nation, connects more closely the whole Body of the People; links them, as it were, in one continued Chain, and brings them nearer to a Level. The Man of Trade marries the Daughter of the Gentleman; the Gentleman the Tradesman’s Daughter: and again, the Gentleman makes his Son (the younger at least) a Man of Trade. Hence arises the Difficulty of separating them; nor can it indeed be altogether done. The Reputation and Value of Trade has convinced Gentlemen of the Usefulness and Necessity of an Alliance with it; and Trade is greatly indebted to the many and great Fortunes thrown into it from the Produce of Estates: thus are they blended and interwoven; and thus are they become reciprocally beneficial. Still, according to the general State of things, regarding the various Ranks in Life, I think we may make one sensible Distinction without Offence; that is, Gentlemen may be said to stoop or condescend to Trade, and Trade may be said to aspire not only to an Alliance with Gentry, but to become Gentry too. Thus while I honour Trade, I would by no means fail to pay a due Respect to Gentry; and therefore give them that Preference they are intitled to.

Birth, Education, and Manners, may be said to constitute the Gentleman. Birth alone, tho’ a Claim, is too poor a one to deserve that Title; Education adds indeed a Lustre to Birth; but both together are not sufficient without Manners: that is, to complete the Gentleman, they should all unite. To adjust this Matter fairly, we may without Impropriety urge, that Manners alone will give us a better Claim than Birth and Education together; and why? because these are not in our Power to choose. For Example: It is not my Fault that I was not born a Nobleman, nor did I choose my own Education, but my Parents for me; yet when once I have learnt to know Right from Wrong, if I chuse the Right, and labour to maintain it for Virtue’s Sake; surely some Degree of Merit is mine: therefore, to use again the good old Bishop of _Winchester_’s Motto, MANNERS MAKETH MAN. Still, as I observed before, to perfect the Character, all should combine: and thus if the Man of Trade depends on his Acquisitions only, he will find himself greatly mistaken. There is a pleasant Story told of King _Charles_ II. I think not unapplicable here. An unbred Citizen becoming very rich, made a Friend at Court, who informed the King he desired much to be made a Gentleman; That, says the King, with a Smile, is not perhaps in my Power; but tell him, I’ll do better, I’ll make him a Knight. Thus at the same time that he conferred an Honour, he ingeniously reproached him, by shewing, that, to make a Gentleman, required something more than even Money or Title. The principal thing then that Men of Trade have to do is, to keep clear of Self-sufficiency; and avoid that Arrogance and Conceit which Money is apt to create. Their frequent Marriages and Intermarriages with well-bred People, are some Means to effect this; and educating their Children suitably is another. Thus the rising Generation at least will be improved; and hence appears the Necessity of good Education and well-regulated Manners for this Class of People: that as they insensibly, as it were, become allied to their Betters, they may be taught properly to coincide with them.

Many Reasons prove the Necessity of good Education for People of this Class. In a Society of Men, suppose a Coffee-house, we see a promiscuous Croud of Gentlemen and Men of Trade; in an Assembly of Women, we see mixed with the Gentry, not only the Wife of the Merchant, but that of the Brewer, the Distiller, the Druggist, and the Draper; and it is highly necessary that these should have such Education, and their Manners so regulated, as will make them fit Company for those. But there are more weighty Reasons yet. Every Man conversant in Life, must have observed, not only the many calamitous Falls from high to low; but also the frequent Progressions from low to high; and where these Advancements are the Fruits of honest Industry, I rejoice with them in their Success. A Citizen grown rich by Trade, resolves to approach to the Gentry; and his first Advance is usually to the Center of the Town. Here for a while he sits down, and with sweet Content enjoys the Fruit of his past Labours; but perhaps it is only for a while; the Heart of Man is restless, and he burns to taste the Manners of the Court: thus he flies to St. _James_’s _Square_, _Grosvenor Square_, _Berkley Square_, or one of the surrounding Streets; thus the Son gets a Post, and the Daughter marries a Lord; and thus the next Generation or two reaches the Summit of Grandeur and Honour. If things are so, and daily Experience proves they are, is it not highly necessary to set out with a good Education? most certainly. Still it should be a suitable one. A Man of Trade may be qualified to keep his Betters Company, without vainly aspiring to be like them; for that would be rendering him unfit for the very Trade he is engaged in. Every Man may and ought to look forward; but if every Man anxiously dwells on future Greatness, and continually dreams of Posts, Titles, and Palaces, it is the certain Way never to reach them: for tho’ the Advancements just pointed out are, I think, literally true, yet are the Instances but few in comparison with the whole. Therefore the Business of Parents is, to give their Children first a just Sense of their present Station; then to guide their Education, and regulate their Manners accordingly; that done, leave the rest to Providence.

I hope this Reasoning upon the close Connection of Gentry and Trade is clear and express; and proves what I advanced, that they are not to be wholly separated. Whence it appears, that the Education both of Boys and Girls of this Class must in general be like that of the preceding. Still some Judgment, Prudence, and Self-knowledge are necessary to guide Parents herein.

The first wise Caution is, that Parents consider their own Fortune, and the real Prospects before them: it is not enough that a Man be of such or such a Trade, to entitle him to train his Child equal to another of the same Trade; for if this be taken as a Guide, many grievous Errors will be committed. What can be a greater Misfortune, than to educate a Boy like a fine Gentleman, and not be able to support it? or to train a Girl with the Expectation of keeping her Coach, and have little or nothing to give her? yet is this often the Case. Another Caution is, not to neglect such an Education as may be at least solidly useful, if they cannot reach the ornamental Part; for as Carving, Gilding, and Painting may at any time be added to adorn a well-proportioned Room, so a sound Education is every Day capable of Improvement: and as the Vicissitudes of Life are many, it is right that Children should on every proper Occasion be able to prove the Goodness of the Stock they spring from. To set this Matter in the clearest Light, let us suppose any two of the same Business, no matter what; one has a large Trade and small Family, the other a small Trade and large Family; the Trade being the same, our Idea of both the Men will at first Sight be alike; but if we come to a nearer View, and thence draw a Comparison, we shall find it very unequal: for tho’ a Merchant is still a Merchant, yet while one has great Difficulty to give his Daughter a single thousand Pound, the other can with Ease give his twenty thousand. Thus, tho’ each should educate his Children suitable to his Character, yet each should at the same consider his Abilities.

Many other Rules laid down in the preceding Class hold equally good in this. The Genius and Frame of Mind are to be attended to; particular Studies are to be appropriated to particular Employments; the Disposition of Soul should be nicely searched into, that every thing mean, narrow, or base, may be subdued by the Principles of a generous Education. Most young People, even of both Sexes, place their Happiness in external Appearance, but Girls have naturally the strongest Passion for Dress and Show; now Parents can never make the Education of their Children solid, unless they reverse this Disposition, not only by teaching them the Emptiness of this false Happiness, but by teaching them where to find the true. There is indeed an Appearance suitable to every Station, which to neglect, would be sinking into Meanness, and be a Disrespect to those we live among; that then should be regarded, but that alone; for all above should be made indifferent to us: Happiness is in the Mind, and to improve the Mind is the Way to reach it. Nor is Happiness more among the Great, with all their Grandeur, than among the Little; and if it be, the Fault is in ourselves; since nothing is truer than the Maxim, which says, that Happiness does not consist in enlarging our Possessions, but in contracting our Desires. Nothing therefore can be more dangerous in the educating our Children, than cherishing in them a Passion for Dress, especially the raising them above their Abilities. Children should be taught to know, that it is not how they look, but what they feel, that deserves Solicitude: thus too in estimating Riches; it is not what we lose, but what we suffer, that merits our Regard; since we may sometimes lose a great deal, and suffer nothing.

Parents, in educating their Children, are to make them pleasing and useful. It is the Opinion of several ingenious Writers, that the first Appearance of a Stranger makes the strongest and most lasting Impression on us; that, as they shew to more or less Advantage at first Sight, so do we think more or less favourably of them ever after. Now, tho’ I do not think this is universally true, since Experience shews us that some who strike us at first never give us any Pleasure in their Company afterwards, and others who have nothing very pleasing in the Beginning of our Acquaintance, improve upon us at every Visit, and insensibly gain our Esteem; yet it is certain, that our Deportment should always be such as may dispose People to think favourably of us, and never such as can justly offend. But here I must observe, that young People are very apt to prostitute this Disposition, by using it only occasionally; whereas, to make it a Virtue, it must be exercised universally, and become a settled Habit; in short, it must flow from the Heart. A young Gentleman is to pay a Visit to a great Man, to a rich Aunt, or to some Person of Distinction, of whom perhaps he has Views or Expectations; what Pains are taken to make a graceful Appearance, how exact is his Deportment, how nice is his Behaviour, and how pleasing his Conversation! The Visit paid, the Mask is thrown off, and he is a very Bear to every one else; nay perhaps even to his Parents, to whom he owes all that he enjoys. So too a young Lady who is to make her Appearance at an Assembly; no Player studies more to get their Part before they come on the Stage, than she to attract her Beholders; but then, like them too, when her Part is over, she often falls below herself. But have Actions like these any Merit in them? can it be a Virtue never to be civil but where we expect to gain by it? ought we not to give every thing it’s proper Name, and call such Behaviour Dissimulation and Hypocrisy? most certainly. To obviate then this Error in our Children, and prove the real Use of Education, let Parents be very careful to teach them an universal good Behavior; not partial, narrow, or confined, but such as will shew itself at all Times, on all Occasions, and to all Degrees of People: and if, as has been observed, the first Impressions generally make for or against us according as we behave, Youth must be taught to consider themselves as continually seen by somebody or other for the first time; and therefore they must always demean themselves in such manner as to deserve Esteem, if they ever hope to gain it.

The other Point of Education is to make our Children useful; therefore nothing that can contribute to it should be omitted. A young Man, besides the first Education bestowed on him, besides the Pains taken by his Parents to engage him in such a Station as gives him the fairest Prospect of Happiness to himself, must be instructed to employ his Talents to the Benefit of others; and in all things, as far as is consistent with Prudence, Justice, and Self-preservation, promote the Happiness and Advantage of every one within his Reach. Here let me add, that while our Laws give the Men superior Power, a Father should be very careful to fix in his Son a tender regard to the opposite Sex; not indeed to become their Slaves, or degenerate into Effeminacy; not to be the Dupe of those who study to allure; but to have a just Sense of their Merit, their Innocence, and their Virtue: and thence resolve never to despise, insult, or oppress them, nor ever to impose a Hardship on them too great to bear. A Girl, on the other hand, is to be taught, that a Degree of Subjection is allotted her; but that it must never be base, nor ever need be mean. She must know too, that the Fruits of her Education are to appear in her Actions; to this End, besides her Knowledge of Books, the Exercise of her Needle, her Pen, and her Figures, she is to understand the Management of a House, be acquainted with the various Seasons of Provisions, the Price of Markets, Skill in Carving, Demeanour at Table, and, in a Word, the whole Oeconomy of a Family. Lastly, she must know that her Province is to please, and that every Deviation from it, is thwarting Nature; but that the chearful Exercise of those Obligations her Station requires, will best secure Happiness to herself, and the Esteem of all who behold her.

I flatter myself that what I have here said, will furnish my Readers of this Class with some Help to guide them thro’ the Difficulties that naturally attend their Duty as Parents. And if to this they add the Exercise of their own Judgment, by varying the Rules as they see necessary, their Children will undoubtedly receive much Improvement; and reflect great Honour on themselves, who thus aim at the general Good, not only of their own Offspring, but of all Posterity.