Part 16

I have said a young Lady should be nicely directed what Books she is to read; indeed it is too nice a Matter for me to determine; Mr. _Addison_, in one of his _Spectators_, has, in a burlesque Way, given a Sort of Lady’s Library; but I wish he had reversed it, and told them seriously what Books would grace a Lady’s Closet, and improve her Mind. For my own Part I think nothing is more difficult, even among Men, than a proper Choice of Books. Wisdom and Virtue are the great Sciences we are born to learn; Books and Men are the Channels to convey the Knowledge of them to us. Now most Parents give their Children some general Cautions against bad Company, but Books are usually thrown into one undistinguished Heap: and tho’ some perhaps are pointed out to us as good, we are not instructed to shun the bad; at least they are still open to our View. Witness the Swarms of lewd Plays, Poems and Romances, calculated to inflame the Minds, and corrupt the Hearts of the Readers: witness the Sophistry and false Reasoning of many Writers, who take Pride in shewing how ingeniously they can deceive: witness the Loads of Lumber produced by those, whose Talents have been mistaken by making them Scholars without Genius: and witness too the Train of Trifles the present Age abounds with. From this clear and rational View of the State of Books, is it not apparent how liable we are to be misled? True it is, that we may read our whole Lives and learn nothing, nay far worse than nothing; learn Vice, Error, and Impiety. Since then this Point is of such Consequence to all, those in exalted Stations of both Sexes should have very able and faithful Guides herein; as from their Influence so much Good or Bad must flow. Still I must beg leave to caution Parents of the highest Quality, to imprint on their Children’s Minds and Hearts this Maxim, that all their Studies should tend to make them wise and good. Convinced of this, as they advance in Years, their own Judgment and Goodness of Heart will, in great measure, instruct them what to read, and what to avoid.

A young Lady should be taught to speak her Mother-tongue with great Clearness, Purity, and Elegance; nothing coarse, mean, or vulgar should ever drop from her Lips; nothing uncouth, strained, or affected; the one debases her Quality, and the other her Understanding. Great Ladies may perhaps think that their Greatness entitles them to say any thing; but where this happens, it is certainly an Error in their Education; or at least it is one in their Practice. There is yet a third Error in Speech which Women of Rank should carefully avoid; an Error consistent with good Sense, but good Sense obscured; that of catching every new-coin’d Word. The _English_ being a living Language, is subject to great Variations and Changes; but is now deservedly esteemed in high Perfection, as it is certainly stronger, more expressive, and more copious than heretofore. Still there is Reason to fear, that every Change is not an Amendment; and if it be, a Lady should not be the first to adopt it: yet so it happens, that a Desire to appear wise and learned sometimes makes them over-shoot themselves, and thus by aiming too high, they are liable to fall too low.

The Sentiments of a young Lady of Quality should be noble, virtuous, and pure. While she is surrounded with external Grandeur, she must be taught to support a Dignity of Mind, without which, all her Pomp will be mere Farce and Pageantry, and only tend to inflame her Vanity; she must be taught to know, that the noblest Sentiments are those which inspire her with a Love of Virtue; and to be truly great, she must condescend frequently to revolve in her Mind the Hardships, Sorrow, Pain, and Sufferings of the various States beneath her: above all, she must be taught to maintain a spotless Innocence; and live in a constant Resolution to suffer any thing, however great, rather than disgrace her Birth and Quality by any Action unworthy of herself.

Her Deportment must answer her Quality, and be elevated, majestic, and noble; such as will strike us with Awe, at the same time that we see in it a Complacency and Affability which charms us: such as will not suffer even the most bold and abandoned to offer the least Indecency or Rudeness, at the same time that it discovers a Heart susceptible of the tenderest Impressions. An easy Grace, a lively chearful Air should accompany all she says and does; but lest this should degenerate into Levity, she must be instructed never to throw off, that great Ornament of the Sex, Modesty.

Her Actions must be such as will contribute to others Happiness and her own; such as will reflect a Lustre on herself, and attract the Beholders of them to an unfeigned Esteem for her: Generosity, Benevolence, Charity, and Humility, accompanied with a Sweetness of Temper, should alternately prevail: and if the Distresses of others sometimes intrude too far upon her, (which from their great Severity they are apt to do) let her not add Misery to Misery, by dropping the Air of her Countenance, or use any Bitterness of Expression, at the same time that she refuses to relieve.

I have here laboured to shew what Education is necessary to adorn a Woman of Quality; and will leave it to abler Pens to refine, to correct, and improve it. What I hope and wish is, that the Plan here laid down may be deemed natural, practicable, and no way repugnant to good Sense: nothing stoical, wild, or romantic; nothing, in short, (allowing for the Difference of Genius, Health, and other Circumstances) but what every Woman of Quality may and ought to be. But before I quit this Head, I cannot help remarking how injuriously Men often think and speak of the Capacities of the other Sex. If all be true that they urge, (which with some is still a Doubt) that the Understandings of Women are weaker than those of Men, yet it by no means excuses our excluding them from Education. Nature indeed seems to have formed the Men strong in Mind and Body, that they may labour either with their Understandings or their Limbs as Occasion requires; the Women more tender, for Employments of a gentler Kind: thus each have their several Provinces: allowing then the Woman to be the weaker Vessel, that is, neither her Frame nor Faculties so strong as the Man’s, does it imply that she has no Strength, no Faculties at all? by no Means. Experience shews us that the Sex have Wit, Judgment, and a Capacity to learn; how then can we justify our too general Neglect of them? But this Error is of great Consequence even to ourselves. If our Love for the Sex extends no farther than a gross Sense, we miss our Aim if we expect to find Happiness; or if we go so far as to consider them useful in their domestic Capacity, that will not secure to us the agreeable: good Sense, and good Temper, improved more or less by Education, should be every Man’s View in a Partner for Life; and where shall we find them, if their Education be universally neglected? A rational Man should choose a rational Companion; but how will such be found, if Pains are taken to keep them ignorant? Thus it is evident, that we are injuring ourselves, and Posterity too, by this unworthy Treatment of the Sex. Still it seems reasonable, that as Men are to bear the Burden of Business, they should have superior Education, as well as superior Strength; therefore the only thing here contended for, is, that every Woman should have her Mind improved, her Understanding enlarged by such an Education as is best suited to her Condition in Life: such an one, in short, as will make her lastingly pleasing by being both useful and agreeable.

The Transition from the Nobility to the Gentry is very easy; for whatever Difference there may be as to Rank and Title, it is certain that many private Gentlemen have equal Ability to educate their Children as they please. The Plan then already laid down for the Education of a Nobleman, will in general hold good here. The eldest Son, to whom our Laws give the Estate, should resemble our young Nobleman as nearly as may be; not from a vain Desire of being equal to him, (tho’ it is the Way to make him so) but from a laudable Ambition of being excell’d by none in Learning and Virtue. Still there will sometimes be great Difficulty to persuade young Gentlemen who are thus situated to apply themselves to Study: the early Knowledge they have of the Fortune they are to inherit makes them giddy; and they leave Study to their younger Brothers. What then is to be done? Parents must discard their outward Fondness for their Children, to prove their inward Affection; for how can they be said to love them, while they suffer them to live in Ignorance? how can they be said to love Virtue, yet lead their Children into Vice? Parents then must do violence to themselves, they must be in earnest, and consider that the Education of their Children is an indispensable Obligation. Parents, whatever be their Fortune, must exert a due Authority over their Children; must shew them they are serious, and convince them that they will not be trifled with. Dr. _Busby_, the famous Master of _Westminster_ School, is said to have made more eminent Scholars than any Man of his Time; the Reason is obvious, he was in earnest; his Scholars durst not trifle their Time away, or neglect their Studies: whether or no he carried it with so nice a Hand as never to err by his Rigour, I will not presume to determine; but if he did, it is no Matter of Surprise, since every Man is liable to Error. Whoever considers the Depravity of our Nature, how propense we are to love Ease, and fly from Labour, will be convinced that Boys stand in need of every Help to make them diligent. The Authority of the Parents, the Authority of the Masters, a Sense of their Duty, and a pleasing Prospect of Reward, by the Acquisition of Knowledge, must all combine to enforce their Compliance: and happy will it be for them if they can all produce the desired Effect. But it will be happier still, if the joint Endeavours of Parents and Teachers can create in Boys a Love for Study, and an ardent Desire to gain Knowledge: then it is we see them go to their Book with as much Alacrity as they go to Dinner; then it is we see them striving to excel; and the Knowledge they gain from a Love of Learning, makes them sprightly and happy in themselves and pleasing to all that see them. Besides, this Turn of Mind has something in it so promising, that it is what every thinking Parent would wish for, and should earnestly strive to inculcate; yet he must not be surprised if he does not always find it; and indeed Experience shews us, that it is generally necessary to govern Children with a tight Rein: for early Indulgence does them incredible Mischief; in particular, it gives them a Reluctance for Study very hard to be conquered.

When these first Difficulties are got over, Parents should then apply themselves to their Children’s Understanding: the joining Reason and Authority together will give double Weight to their Injunctions. Suppose then a Father addressing his Son, let us see what Reason will dictate. “Do you know, my Dear, why you go to School? why I engage you in Study, and threaten you so severely if you neglect it? is it for my Sake, think you? or is it because I take Pleasure in giving you Pain? no; it is for your Sake alone that I thus urge your Obedience. Providence has made me the Instrument of your Being; therefore, as your natural Guardian, I am accountable for your Education: Learning is the Road to Knowledge; Knowledge will lead you to Virtue; and Virtue to Happiness. Need you then any other Inducements to learn than the Duty you owe to me, and the Advantages that will accrue to yourself? no surely; I trust you will want no other Motive.” Is not this Method both rational and natural? I think it is undeniably so; and that, by these easy Means, Parents may, in general, promise themselves great Comfort in their Children by guiding them as they see proper. Children, if moulded while young, readily yield, like Wax, to the Impression; yet now they are merely passive: but when Reason gains Strength, when they see their Parents acting with a generous Affection for their Good alone, then it is that they are animated with a Love of Duty, and with a Desire to become every thing that they would have them be.

Every Gentleman of Fortune should certainly give all his Sons the Education of Gentlemen; and therefore the younger Brothers are, in the fundamental Points of Education, to accompany the eldest: but tho’ this be granted in general, yet there are certain particular Rules to be observed; some one Point to be excepted against, another to be pursued, with many other things, according as Circumstances vary, all which require the Parents Attention. I have just observed, that the Foundation of their Learning should in all the Sons be becoming the Stock they spring from: but the eldest must be graced with every Ornament. He must be taught to know, that possessing a Fortune superior to his Brothers, obliges him to acquire superior Qualifications. He is to consider himself as one designed to do Honour to his Family, and to his Country; and be convinced, that if he neglects to cultivate his Mind, he will be a Disgrace to both.

Parents of this Class have, with regard to their younger Sons, two principal things to do: first, they are carefully to attend to their Genius, Temper, and Inclinations; and next they are to resolve on an Employment suited to them: this settled, they are to pursue their Education accordingly. The three learned Professions, Divinity, Law, and Physic, require not only deep Erudition, but require too a Species of Learning proper to each; besides, as these are Employments of the most serious Nature, and of the most weighty Consequence, not to give them all the Qualifications that human Wit is capable of attaining, is surely a grievous Error. Yet are there sometimes other Errors too material to pass unobserved: not those of the Head, but of the Heart. It is in general hoped, that where due Care is taken in forming the Manners, the natural Corruption of the Heart may be corrected; but where that is neglected, or our Endeavours to effect it prove fruitless, which, it is to be feared, they sometimes will, the utmost Care should be taken in the Choice of an Employment for Life. It is a Rule in Life, that where we cannot do any great Good, we should do no Harm; and therefore it should be a Rule with Parents to place their bad Children, if they are so unhappy as to have any, as remote from Mischief as possible. Now to apply this to the Matter in hand, we must observe, that to fill up these important Stations with all their just Requisites, we must not only have a sound Education, and a clear Head; but we must also have an upright Heart: that is, we must resolve to banish every sinister Aim, and have no Views but those of Justice, Probity, and Honour. To what must we ascribe the general Reproaches thrown with so much Freedom on Professions which have in their Nature the strongest Claim to Respect, as their Foundation is Virtue, Truth, and Justice; but to the corrupted Channels the Stream passes through? For tho’ Men’s Judgments frequently err, and false Constructions are often put on the best Actions; yet it is to be feared the Complaints are sometimes but too just. Men strongly tempted by irregular Passions, whether Pride, Avarice, Revenge, or others, will naturally incline to gratify them: hence then appears the Necessity, in these Professions particularly, of well-regulated Hearts: that on one side no Injury may be done, and on the other, that no Censure may be justly incurred.

It is to be presumed that the younger Sons of every Gentleman’s Family (unless by any lateral Means they have an independent Fortune) are to engage in some Profession or Employment, in order to their Advancement in the World; and it is perfectly right that they should: for by this means they may not only fill up their Time like reasonable Creatures, but become capable of doing Honour to some Profession, be useful to Mankind in general, and often raise a Fortune equal to their elder Brother. Now besides the learned Professions; the Sea, the Army, and the Exchange, with many others, needless to enumerate, are open for them to engage in; and hence farther appears not only the Necessity of considering their Fortune, but of attending to their Genius, Temper, and Inclinations.

Nothing is more talked of than the Necessity of consulting our Children’s Genius; and I think verily there is nothing so little understood, or so little attended to. I know that many People say, there is nothing more easy to discover than the Genius of Children; but if we view the continual Errors committed in this Point, we shall have reason to think otherwise. What is more evident than a general Partiality of Parents to their Children? and what will naturally be the Consequence of it? certainly a false Estimation of their Capacity. However, difficult as I think this Knowledge is to be obtained, either from general Partiality, Want of Penetration, or the natural Inconstancy of Youth; yet let us not throw aside our Attention, nor wildly give up our Children to Chance; but rather let us improve the Reason Providence has endowed us with, and labour to draw such Conclusions as will most conduce to their real Happiness. To act therefore with Judgment in this weighty Matter, Parents must not, because a Boy says he will go to Sea, immediately send him; nor because another says he will be a Soldier, directly buy him a Commission. One perhaps only wants to get away from his Studies, and the other thinks it a fine thing to wear a laced Coat. Youth is naturally giddy, and what they like to-day, they will often dislike to-morrow; Parents therefore would be grievously mistaken, were they to take every Start of Fancy, every premature Request of their Children for Genius. Still it is certain that they have many Ways of discovering what they are capable of, and what they are inclined to; therefore our Prudence and Judgment are to go hand in hand with these Discoveries. For Instance: if we see a Boy of intrepid Courage, loving, seeking, and enduring Hardships, and dwelling with Delight on maritime Affairs, at the same time that he has virtuous Dispositions, and both loves and applies to his Books; we need not hesitate to breed him to the Sea. So if we are convinced, that another seeks a Commission from true Honour and Courage, and from an ardent Desire to serve his King and Country, we may encourage his laudable Ambition; but if we discover that his Motives are those of being conspicuously dress’d, of sauntering and dangling one part of his Time away, and raking and gaming another part; if we see too, that his only Fear, is the Fear of having occasion to fight; we should certainly reject his Request, and oblige him to apply another way: nay more, we should convince him how mean a Soul he must have, to seek so inglorious a life. In like manner, if we see a Boy whose Head is manifestly turned for Business, whose Cast of Temper argues Method in every Action, we may pretty safely conclude we hit his Genius, by making him a Merchant. But there is a capital Mistake Parents frequently commit, that is, their being influenced by some oblique Interest; which often tends to ruin their Children. For Example: the Family has a Living in their Gift, and a Boy must be bred a Clergyman on purpose to fill it: or there is an Uncle a Bishop, therefore the Nephew must be a Bishop too; tho’ perhaps he has no more Genius nor Chance for it, than he has of being Emperor of _Morocco_. Thus another, who would have been an Adept in the Mathematics, and have done Honour to the Science, or whose Sprightliness would have made a Figure in polite Literature, is cramp’d with the Study of the Law; not because he likes it, but because it is a Profession that may raise him to be a Judge; perhaps Lord Chancellor: tho’ he has as little Chance for either as the Clerk to a Justice of Peace. A third, in Nature’s spite, is made a Physician, only because his Parents have seen a _Mead_, a _Hulse_, or a _Wilmot_ standing at the Top of the Profession; and therefore conclude their Son will have equal Genius and equal Merit.

Here then it is evident, that Parents are often mistaken, not only by Inattention to the Genius of their Children, but by overrating their Parts; by fixing a Profession for them, perhaps as soon as they are born, or by blundering them into an Employment which their Education is not equal to. On this last Point let me explain myself. Suppose I have not over-rated a Boy’s natural Parts; suppose too that I have at great Expence kept him at School for ten Years; it does not from hence follow that he is learned: I must know if he has applied and improved these Years to his real Advantage; that is, whether his Learning is deep or superficial; I must know too the Tenor of his Studies, for even of those who are very diligent, all Parts of Learning are not equal Favourites; some are sprightly, some grave, some in short more striking to them than others: lastly, I must know if the Nature of his Education be adapted to the Employment I am about to engage him in. Without Attention and Regard to these Circumstances, it will be impossible to keep clear of Error in the Disposal of our Children for Life: and as not only themselves, but Society too, must feel the good or bad Effects of our Choice, it is of the highest Consequence that it be judicious.

But Genius is not the only thing to be considered in the fixing our Sons for Life. Mr. _Pope_ has a Position,[8] which does not tally with general Observation; for according to him there will hardly be a Man in ten thousand qualify’d for the Station he is in. True Genius is, I think, but rarely to be met with; plain natural good Sense, carefully improved by Education, will certainly enable the Generality of Men to become Proficients in any single Art or Science: that is, as by well directed Steps they are capable of acquiring great Perfection in one Way, so would they have been equally perfect had their Steps been directed another Way. Our Defects in general are not so much owing to the Want of Parts, as to the Want of cultivating them; hence appears that amazing Weakness in some Parents, in shewing a Boy as a Prodigy, when every other Eye can see there is nothing uncommon in him; and hence too appears the Folly of others in neglecting those Improvements so essentially necessary for him.

From what has been here advanced it is pretty evident, that a young Gentleman of moderate Parts well improved, is capable of becoming whatever is pointed out for him, provided he is diligent. But here it is my earnest Request, that Parents resolve to make their Children happy; and this they cannot do but by complying in some measure with their Temper and Inclinations; for it is on this chiefly their Felicity depends. The same Boy (as I observed before) would become an Adept either in This or That Employment, but it is perhaps one only that will make him happy: therefore it is not always Genius, but Inclination, that requires our Regard.