Part 14

I am now led to speak of Temperance; the calmest Companion of the Heart of Man. Temperance is the Virtue that bridles our irregular Desires; it is nearly ally’d to Prudence, and has a close Connection with Justice; it calms Revenge, and quenches the Fire of unjust Resentment; it checks the Epicure, and stops the riotous Hand of the Bacchanalian; it extinguishes or abates the Flames of Lust, and banishes every lawless Action; it silences the flippant detracting Tongue, and gives in it’s stead a pleasing Moderation of Speech; it shuts the Door against Avarice, and proves experimentally, that Happiness does not consist in the eager Pursuit or Acquisition of Riches, but in a contented Mind; it curbs that strongest of all other Passions, Gaming, and distinguishes justly the Absurdity and Folly of making that a dangerous Trade, which was only designed as a Relaxation and an Amusement: Temperance, in a word, is the Parent of many Virtues; the Parent of Peace, Prosperity, Health and Joy. But while these are Truths acknowledged and received, how comes it that we know so little of the Practice of them? How comes it that in general these are mere Matters of Speculation? Alas! the Spring is tainted in the Source. We are intemperate in our very Cradles; no wonder therefore if we remain so our whole Lives. We are born with irregular Appetites; and which, thro’ Errors in Judgment, or mistaken Fondness, are daily rendered still more so. But let us leave these melancholy Reflections, and consider the Advantages we enjoy, the Privileges we are invested with. Providence, kind Providence, has given us Reason for our Guide; and Reason will conduct us to Temperance.—Nothing can be more strange to all Observation, than the Practice of forsaking Temperance; since every Day’s Experience proves to us, that Intemperance produces the very opposite to what we seek. Suppose when a Child is born, we ask the Parents what it is they wish in that Child; they will answer, Life. But as Life alone, that is, mere Existence, may by Infirmity or other Accidents be very wretched, they will naturally wish for Health and Happiness. Well then, Life, Health, and Happiness, are the general Wishes of Parents for their Children. Now let us see how their Wishes are likely to succeed. Their first Step is usually a shameful Neglect of the Food of Nature, the Breast; the next, a blind Gratification of their Will; the third, an almost total Neglect of their Manners; and a fourth, the cherishing in them every irregular Affection. Where then is the Wonder that Parents are disappointed? Life and Health depend on proper Food and other judicious Management on one part; and if sick, an Obedience to Remedies on the other part; and Happiness essentially depends in the first place on Health; in the next, on the due Government of our Senses, Affections and Passions. See here how Mankind deviate from themselves; how far they depart from their own Principles. But what then is the Remedy? nothing more obvious. Let Parents exercise their Reason in all the Steps they take for their Children’s Welfare; let them examine Right and Wrong; let them not only avoid Passion, but labour to correct their own Errors of Judgment, that they may be the better enabled to prevent them in their Children; but particularly, let them fix in them the Knowledge, Love, and Habit of Temperance.

These Rules will doubtless be an Infringement on those Liberties Parents usually take in indulging their Children’s Stomachs; and it will be a greater in the Restraint it lays on their growing Passions: but they must convince them of the Purity of their Intentions by speaking to their Understandings; not all at once, but by Degrees, as they open and gain Strength; so that Step by Step they may point out to them the Loveliness, the Pleasure, and the Advantages of this uncommon Virtue. I say nothing here of the State of Childhood, because it is already understood that Parents have their Children’s Health regulated by proper Management, and their Minds docile thro’ the Force of Obedience; but when Dress, Pleasure, Company, Feasting, or whatever subjects us to be intemperate, come into Play, as they are Actions which always cause a Struggle, more or less, between Passion and Reason, it demands the greatest Care and Attention of Parents to win them to a Love of Temperance.

An easy Submission to our Lot in Life is one of the greatest Attainments towards Happiness. View a young Lady with a strong Passion for Dress; every new thing strikes her; one Companion has a richer Silk than herself; another has the sweetest Lace she ever saw; a third has Ear-rings ten times handsomer than her own; she burns with Impatience to equal them, and that granted, new things arise, and the others are old tho’ not worn out; that is, her Relish for them is lost. Thus a continual round of Fashions keep her incessantly anxious; and tho’ perhaps she possesses every thing, she enjoys nothing. Not so the calmer well-instructed Fair; she considers that Propriety of Dress is what suits her Station; and covets not another’s Jewels: she wears, without a Blush, a meaner Silk than her meaner Companion; and free from the Extremes of Negligence or Pride, she is qualify’d for all the Dignity that Dress can give her; but is equally happy in an inferior Appearance. Thus too it happens with our Sons: One is in the continual Pursuit of Pleasure, has a thousand Contrivances to reach a Play, a Ball, or a Horse-race; and is miserable if these things are going on without him: while another, awaken’d by Reason, and check’d by Temperance, takes these things as they come; and neither insipidly refuses the Chearfulness of an Entertainment, nor is disturb’d of his Rest, or loses either his Temper or his Appetite, if he is disappointed. Such is the Difference between Passion and Reason, such the genuine Effects of Temperance.

Temperance, as I observ’d before, is closely connected with Justice; that is, whatever thro’ Intemperance affects our Health, or endangers our Lives, must be unjust. What can be more amazing than the false Judgment of Mankind even in the most obvious things! All allow that we have no Right voluntarily to throw away that Life which Providence has given us; on the contrary, we are bound to support it, even under the Pressure of Pain and Sorrow, to the last Moment. How comes it then that while this is acknowledged, while Men justly shrink with Horror at the very Thought of Self-murder, they have the Hardiness to dally with some murderous Instrument? All the Arguments that are brought against Suicide, whether by Sword, Pistol, Laudanum, or Arsenic, hold good, in some Degree, in the Point before us. The oftener a Building is shock’d, the sooner will it decay; the more Violence is us’d to a delicate Machine, the sooner will it be destroy’d; and no Machine is so exquisitely delicate as Man. Now as every Species of Excess, Riot, and Debauchery, is a Shock given to our Frame, it must naturally impair our Health, and consequently shorten our Lives. Many things tend to effect this, that Men in general are Strangers to; but there are others they are too sensible of, yet attempt not to remove, nay plunge themselves into. Here then appears the Necessity of Temperance; here we see the great Obligation of Parents to their Children in this Point: since they are not only accountable for their Happiness, but even for their Health and Lives. To conclude, let Parents in inculcating this Virtue dissuade their Children from every irregular Attachment, and convince them that no intemperate Affections are justifiable; that besides avoiding those irregular Passions which may be said to reside in the Soul, there are others that dwell on the Senses, equally capable of destroying us; particularly an unhappy Attachment to sleeping, eating, drinking, and many other things in their Nature not only innocent but indispensably necessary; yet, by the frequent grievous Abuse of them, made the Instruments of our Destruction.

These are the things I had to offer on the Part of Manners; these are the Steps I have already in great measure taken with my own Children, and these the Sentiments I wish to inspire them with. If therefore, as general Laws, they are equally applicable to others, my presenting them in Print will, I hope, be consider’d with the same Candour they are offered. But notwithstanding what has already been said, Parents have still much to do. To keep up the Spirit of Government, they must constantly remember that Nature and Reason are to be their Guides: if we distort Nature, our Children will be preposterous Figures; and if we banish Reason, they will be Brutes or Monsters. Parents must remember too, that it is not for themselves that they labour to train up their Children in Order, Obedience, and Knowledge; there must be no self-pointed Views, no Pride, no Dispositions to tyrannise over their own Flesh and Blood; these are Motives unworthy a Place in any Parent’s Breast. Their principal Aim must be to make their Children happy, by making them wise and good; and if they succeed herein, so much Happiness will be reflected back on themselves as will amply reward all their Labours. But they must not stop even here; tho’ this Design is noble, they should have a nobler yet in view; that is, the universal Good of Mankind: ’tis too narrow a Good that seeks itself alone; Children must therefore be animated by their Parents with all those Virtues that will make them dear and valuable to Society. Now what Chance is there that Children will come on the Stage of Life with the necessary Requisites, unless due Pains are taken to mould and temper their Hearts, to form their Minds, and cultivate their Understandings? Mr. _Pope_, after labouring to prove for what End we are in being, what Good we are to pursue, and what Evil avoid, concludes, “that all our Knowledge is ourselves to know.” If then this Self-knowledge is of such vast Importance for the securing our Happiness even in a moral Sense, and is so very difficult to be attained; surely Parents are under the highest Obligation to their Children of improving every Means within their Reach, for the gaining this only true Philosopher’s Stone. The End, as Philosophers agree, is the first thing in the Intention; but the Means to attain that End are surely, in the Case before us, either but little known, or little practised; else we should not see such daily and grievous Mistakes committed in the training up our little Offspring; nor such a continued Chain of Vice, Folly, and Ignorance, as is the general Result of this mistaken Manners, this want of Self-knowledge.

But here I must caution my Readers not to bewilder themselves in a Maze of fancied Difficulties; not to throw aside these Instructions as useful or practicable to none but those of Genius, Learning, and great Abilities: the Light of Nature and Reason beams strongly on us all; and Parents, as I have before observed, have it greatly in their Power to regulate their Children’s Conduct: for after all, it must be confessed, that it is not so much that Parents do not know, as that they want the Will, to act rightly. But I hope, that such as are really ignorant, will here, in some measure, be informed; such as already know, will here be induced to practise: since by avoiding the Errors too generally run into, so much solid Good will ensue. But, to return back again: where or how are we to begin? Why—(as has already been advanc’d) by Authority. Authority is undoubtedly the first Means towards attaining this great End; the other Means are, a steady Attention to the various Tempers of our Children; a strict Guard over our own Conduct; a watchful Eye on theirs; joined to a serious Practice of every Lesson for their Improvement: to which we are to add, such an Education as is suitable to our Sphere in Life.

EDUCATION.

Education is a very extensive Subject; it is a vast Field to expatiate in; and has employed the Thoughts and Pens of many great Men, with whom I pretend not to vie: I confess myself far unequal to the Task; and perhaps the greatest Service I can do my Readers, is to inform them, that, besides the ancient Writers, the Archbishop of _Cambray_, _Tanaquil Faber_, Mr. _Locke_, Monsieur _Crousaz_, and Monsieur _Rollin_, with some others still later, have handled this important Subject. To these then I refer them, as great and useful Guides; but not to these alone; they must go farther; and apply to those, whose Province it is to reduce the Theory of these to Practice: such are many of our living Guides; who tho’ they have not perhaps distinguished themselves by their Writings, are notwithstanding deservedly eminent for their Skill in teaching.

Nor is Education what I principally engaged in, in this Treatise; Manners alone, I have declared to be my Design; and if I can do the present or future Age any real Service by the Plan of puerile Government already laid down, I shall be happy in considering myself as a useful Member of Society. Still it will appear that Education and Manners have so great a Connection, that they are not always to be separated: many of the Writers on these Subjects have considered them as one and the same thing; many just Sentiments are imbibed at the same time that we are acquiring Languages, and other Parts of Learning: and notwithstanding a Truth which was advanced at our first setting out, that much Manners might be acquired without School-learning, yet it is not to be doubted that they ought to rise in proportion to the Education bestowed on us. Two things therefore I aim at in pursuing this Subject, without attempting to teach, or invading the Province of the Preceptor; the one, to point out what seems necessary for both Boys and Girls, in different Spheres of Life, to learn or avoid; the other, to shew how far the Education bestowed on them is applicable to the Improvement of their Manners; or to their Engagement in any Art, Profession, or Science.

As entering on the Subject of Education will naturally carry the Ideas of Parents back to the Childhood of their Offspring, I will, in Conformity with that, suppose, that the Rules already laid down chiefly regard the first Stage of Life; at most, that they are the Ground-work of a future Superstructure: this granted, I will suppose too, that Parents have employed these first seven Years in moulding their Children, and rendering them so far pliable, as readily to submit to whatever their Parents think proper for them to engage in. There is a strong Passion in many Parents to have their Children forward and early in their Learning; where there is really a Genius, a very great Propensity and Aptness to learn, this may certainly not only be allowed, but improved; yet in general I think very little Account is to be made of what they can learn before seven Years old: it is commonly Rote-work, and often forgot almost as soon as learned. However, let these things be taken as they are found: if a Child has a great Quickness and Facility in learning, let it by no Means be check’d; on the other hand, let not another be severely chastised, or it’s Life rendered miserable, who has not the same early Aptness. Those who would avoid Error on this Point must consider, that a Child’s Memory and Judgment are yet too weak to be much exercised; that close Application and intense Labour are very unfit for this Infant Age; that it is putting their tender Minds too much upon the Stretch; and endangers either a fix’d Aversion to learn, or an incurable Dulness: let them farther consider, that such a quick Child as I have been speaking of, learns without the least Difficulty; and if they oblige one of another Cast to learn as much in the same time, it is odds but they give him more Pain than his Frame can bear. Parents then must be very careful to avoid these first Mistakes in the educating their Children; since from a natural Fondness to have them appear to Advantage, they often thrust them on things that are unsuitable to their Age, and such as they are by no Means qualified to undertake.

It must not here be understood, that nothing is to be attempted in the first Stage of Life; that would be the opposite Extreme of Error; and playful as Children usually are at that Age, the leaving them wholly to themselves for seven Years would be not only injuring their Capacities, but might endanger a Habit of Idleness: what I mean is, that all which relates to Education should now be made as light, as easy, and as pleasant as possible; that, as I have observed before, Parents should take things as they are, and not be dissatisfied or disappointed, if they find no extraordinary Progress made.

But this first Stage being over, the Business becomes serious; they are now to enter the Schools. Parents of almost every Rank aim, or seem to aim, at giving their Children Learning; ’tis a natural Ambition, and, if rationally used, highly laudable. Those of an inferior Class say, with a significant Shake of the Head, ’Tis a fine thing to be a Scholar! True, it is so: but surely it is a sad thing to be a learned Beggar; and worse yet to be a learned Blockhead: an unlearned Cobler is a Prince to either of these. To judge of the Propriety of Education, we should, I think, argue from a Knowledge of Life; for as no one surely will say that the same Degree of it is equally proper for all, it follows of course that it will be right or wrong, in proportion to our Knowledge or Ignorance of Mankind, and of those Stations wherein it is so variously exercised. Now in viewing it in this judicious Light, it appears to me, that the Steps frequently taken by Parents in the educating their Children, are in many respects erroneous. Nor is this by any means to be ascribed to the Teachers, but to the Parents; not to the Plan, but to the Execution: for as in the Order of Nature, every thing has it’s own Sphere, it’s Province assign’d it, which cannot be departed from without Error; so in the various Degrees of Mankind, if a proper Regard be not had to Situation and Abilities, the Mistakes committed in educating our Children must be very many.

At the same time that I venture to think our Notions of Education sometimes erroneous, I confess it is extremely difficult to fix precise Rules for a better; no wonder therefore if I err in the Attempt; and in that Case, I hope, the Goodness of my Intention will plead my Excuse. But here let me ask a natural Question; What is it all Mankind aim at in the Education of their Children? certainly to give them such a Degree of Knowledge as will qualify them to fill some certain Post, some certain Station in Life: in short, to fit them for an Employment suited to their Condition, such as will make them happy in themselves, and useful to Society. This, I say, is, or ought to be our Aim: but how grievously do we pervert it? Parents often mistakenly soar above their Reach; like Adventurers in a Lottery, all gape for the highest Prizes; all ambitiously strive to make their Children something more than common, something above themselves; and by these Means often, very often, overturn and utterly ruin them.

The principal Aim of Parents should be, to know what Sphere of Life their Children will act in; what Education is really suitable for them; what will be the Consequence of neglecting that; and what Chance a superior Education will give them for their Advancement to Posts of Dignity. I grant, it is Pity that a fine Genius should be uncultivated and buried in Oblivion; but surely it is greater Pity that Parents should so generally mistake their Children’s Station, Genius, Capacity, and Inclinations, as they generally do; nay more, mistake their own Capacity too; by engaging them in things above their Ability to conduct them through. The first thing many Parents do, is, blindly to magnify their Children’s Parts; in consequence whereof they engage them in such Studies as square with their Fancy; they then turn their Eyes on some few great Men, whose uncommon Merit, Genius, or Good-fortune, have rais’d them to conspicuous Stations; and thus, in the Vanity of their Hearts, conclude their Sons are to be Judges, Bishops, Generals, and I know not what. But I would here earnestly dissuade Parents from this capital Mistake; indeed it seems so glaringly absurd, that I am surprized it should be so common. But those in inferior Stations will say, May we not then give our Children Education? yes certainly: but it should be a suitable one. What then, may we not aspire to raise our Children in the World? or must they, from Generation to Generation, remain Mechanics, Tradesmen, or the like? Let me not be misunderstood. Every one should look forward; there is a necessary Degree of Spirit becoming all Mankind; but then to be judicious, it must be rational: thus, at the same time that we avoid sinking into Meanness, we must be very careful not to tower so high as to endanger our dashing down into Error.

Education, tho’ design’d to lead us to every Advantage, is often bestowed to our Disadvantage, by being the Cause of many Errors, we should otherwise have escaped. Education is often wasted on us, either by being improper for our Station, or by engaging us in things we are unfit for. Education is a Term that often misleads Parents themselves; for many do not know either it’s Extent or Use, nor know if their Children possess it or not. These things considered, it is easy to conclude how common an erroneous Education must be; and how much it behoves Parents to reflect on the necessary Means to obviate the like Errors for the future.