Part 13

The next Care of Parents on this Head is, that they labour to preserve their Children’s Innocence from being tainted by others. One would imagine when Parents had taught their Children every Virtue, and enforced them by their own Example, their Duty would be compleat; but far from it; they have still the Obligation of representing to them the Snares, the Artifices, the Villainies of designing People. In my last View I have shewn that our Sons, either hurried by Passion, led by false Notions of Gallantry, or Strangers to Right and Wrong, are often the Instruments, or liable at least to be the Instruments, of others Destruction: in this I must touch on the Necessity Children are under of being defended from receiving Injuries. And here I must observe, that both Sexes are equally in Danger. The Girls indeed have by Nature and Education more Innocence, as well as more Tenderness; the Boys, tho’ more robust, have more Temptations. Men are the Instruments, and dreadful ones too, which chiefly destroy our Daughters; but bad Women on one hand, and corrupt Men on the other, combine to destroy our Sons. Let Parents then point out to them the Dangers they are exposed to, and furnish them with every Means for their Defence; let them shew that the Colours Vice is painted in are false and delusive; that however pleasing the Appearances are, the Effects are bitter; that our corrupt Imagination is extremely apt to mislead us, therefore they must not trust to this Guide, but seek Security from Reason and Reflection; that they must not rely on their own Strength, by exposing themselves to those who have the Subtlety and Cruelty to form Designs against their Virtue; and that, in these Cases, the greatest Proof they can give of their Courage is to run away, because their Passions naturally incline them to stay; that those, in a word, who wish to maintain their Virtue, must shun the Vicious: and where the Affairs of Life unavoidably expose them to the Company of such, let them by a constant discountenancing Deportment, shew their Disapprobation of every unbecoming Word or Action; whereby they will check, and often prevent, any Attacks on their Innocence. But farther, to enforce the Virtue of Innocence, let Parents shew their Children the Obligations they are under of preserving it; that besides the Insult offered to their Creator who made them rational Beings, and thereby distinguished them from the Brutes, their departing from it is an Injustice to themselves, an Injustice to their Parents, and to all those who have laboured to correct the natural Corruption of their Hearts, by instilling into them every virtuous Principle.

A fourth Cause of Injustice is Avarice: which implies an inordinate Love of Gain. Avarice puts on a thousand Shapes, and is to be found in Men of every Rank and every Age; but it is most apparent in the Rich and the Old: which is an Aggravation of the Vice; because the one have more than enough already, and the other have not long to enjoy the Fruits of it, even should they live to reap them. But what is most alarming in the Avaritious is, the extreme Danger of going beyond the Bounds of Justice; and what _Dryden_[5] says of Wits and Madmen may, by the easiest Change,[6] be apply’d without Impropriety to the Covetous and the Dishonest. How many Schemes are formed, how many Devices used to raise a Fortune, or to add Hoard to Hoard? One circumvents another in Trade; and with more than savage Cruelty, abuses the Power he has by keeping those under that might otherwise flourish; and had rather see another starve, than himself be deprived of what he does not want. A second burns with a Thirst of Gaming, and values himself for his superior Parts, if he can trick another out of his Money at Play; regardless of the dreadful Consequences attending the Loss; and regardless of the Injustice of the Acquisition. How do they possess their Minds who have raised their Fortune on another’s Ruin? Do they ever reflect on the Misery of their wretched Companion; or do they view the Distress of his Wife, his Children, and his suffering Creditors? Surely if the Gamester did this, even he who wins, and wins by a fair Bet, and equal Lay, must tremble at Riches thus acquired: but if to this be added the Traps, the Snares, and other Artifices to draw in weak or unwary Men to their Ruin, what must we think of such Wretches? We may both pity and condemn the Ruined, but we must abhor those who caused it, however great their false Triumph may be. A third takes the Advantage of Distress or Weakness, and lends his Money, not with Kindness, but with a sordid View: these are the Men who grasp at Mortgages for the sake of fore-closing; and get Possession of an Estate for half it’s Value; who inveigle a Widow that they may ruin her Affairs, and enrich themselves; or get a Guardianship that they may beggar the Children. A fourth, sensible what Power Riches give him, employs it to the harrassing and depressing all beneath him; these are those who to add to their superfluous Wealth suck the Blood and Vitals of the Poor, by reducing their just Pay, and defrauding them of their Wages; or who with inhuman Scorn depreciate that Merit which others possess; or crush it in it’s Appearance. But how shall Parents, who perhaps may not live to be Witnesses to these Actions, prevent them in their Children? The Answer is easy. Imprint on them an early Love of Justice; and as they advance, shew them the various Ways of deviating from it; that by viewing these things in their true Light, they may conceive a just Horror of Crimes so detestable in themselves, and so destructive to Society.

A fifth Source of Injustice is Slander. There are Men who would not game another out of his Money, nor forge a Deed, tho’ they could obtain his Estate with Security, nor run him thro’ the Body; yet shall, without Scruple, butcher his Reputation with Slander. An unbecoming Levity of Conversation and Behaviour is natural to many, who thereby do great Harm without once being aware of it; but this, tho’ a great Evil in Society, is Innocence, if compared with the Malevolence of others. There are Men of such rancorous Hearts, of such malicious Natures, that they seem to have nothing human but the Form; Wretches, who, to gratify their Spleen, or to indulge a Pique, tear in Pieces the Good-name of those whose Merit is perhaps superior to their own. All the moral Writers condemn this censuring, cruel Humour; and a celebrated dramatic Poet[7] describes very beautifully the superior Loss of Reputation to that of Riches. A Man that is robbed on the High-way sees his Loss, and knows the worst of it; but he who is levelled at from afar, or receives a Stab in the dark, neither discovers his Enemy, nor knows where the Mischief will end. In the great Family of the World, every one is furnished with Means for his Support, be it more or less; all are in some Degree possessed of Power, Genius, or Abilities to procure, if not a Fortune, at least Subsistence; with what Face then does Mankind dare to frustrate the Intention of Providence, by robbing another of that Reputation which he is labouring to establish, and by which alone he is enabled to support his Wife, his Children, and himself. With what Pretensions, or by what Authority do they presume to strip another of the Merit he is possessed of? If I have less Merit than another, let me labour to equal him; should I perchance have more, let me not rob him of the little he is possessed of. But Men of this detestable Spirit imagine, that in making others little, they render themselves great; and thus unjustly use the Power they are invested with, by abusing their Hearers Ears; prostituting their own Tongues to the Destruction of others; and, lest Words should sometimes be ineffectual, they add Nods, Winks, Shrugs, and whatever can express Malice, Hatred, or Contempt. Pure Morality teaches us to throw a Veil over others Faults; but Justice demands that we stifle not their Virtues, much less pervert them: that is, we should be ready to acknowledge the Merit due to them, but cannot deny it without the basest Injury.

Behold then what Justice requires of us! Parents who teach their Children a Knowledge of Property, who inspire them with a Resolution never to invade it in others, who teach them a Fairness in their Dealings, an Exactness in paying their Debts, and a just Detestation of the Tricks of sophisticating Goods, particularly Drugs, Wine, Food, and those things that often elude our Senses, or affect our Health; who teach them to obey the Laws of their Country, in avoiding all clandestine Trade, all Commerce in prohibited or contraband Goods, and make them ashamed of such Employments as require them to steal their Way through the World, or skulk about in the dark; those Parents, I say, who do this, do well: but that is not enough; they must check, nay conquer a babling censorious Disposition, and create in its stead that generous Tenderness for others that they would wish to meet with themselves: but above all, they must inspire their Hearts and Lips with Justice, and imprint on their Souls a Sense of the Baseness of Detraction, Calumny, and Slander.

Before I quit this Head, I must touch on a Species of Injustice diametrically opposite to that we have been censuring: my Readers will perhaps be surprized when I say it is Silence. So much is due to the Cause of Justice, that we cannot always be silent without a Breach of it. Men complain, and very justly, that true Honour is rare to be found; yet, while this is granted, we must observe, that false Honour reigns in it’s stead; but my Purpose here is, to consider how far it is an Act of Injustice.

When a Man sets about a lawless Enterprize, his first Care is to engage what he calls a Friend to second his Attempts, or at least to promise him Secresy; but, to make it succeed, the Party employed is to be a Friend on both Sides: here then is a manifest Injustice in the Silence of the third Person, however innocent he may be otherwise. But what is the Principle they act upon? Honour. What! shall I betray my Friend! has he not reposed a Confidence in me? he has; and I will be faithful to it. Who can reflect on the fatal Effects of this false Friendship, this mistaken Honour, without trembling? Who is there, with any Knowledge of the World, that has not seen Sorrow, Guilt, Destruction brought on Families by the Connivance of a Servant, the Silence of a Brother, and the Weakness of a Sister? What Barbarity in a favourite Maid to be the Instrument of a young Lady’s Ruin, by conveying a Scrub into the very Family whose Bread she eats; or at least sees her on the Brink of it, without speaking a Word for her Preservation? How dreadful are those Friendships, how preposterous that Silence, where a young Gentleman sees his Companion, his Fellow-Clerk, levelling at the Destruction of an innocent Girl, and not have the Soul to declare the guilty Design till too late? Or, finally, where is the Sense, the Good-Nature, or the Justice of her who sees a Brother taking fatal Steps, about to injure another’s Virtue, or marry a Beggar, or ruin himself, and, as far as he has Power, his Parents too, without once striking at the Root, by discovering his vicious Intentions and Practices? Who that can distinguish Right from Wrong, but must see the Injustice of this Silence? Parents therefore should animate their Children with a Resolution never to enter into these false Friendships, never to promise what is in it’s Nature wrong, nor ever to promote or connive at another’s Harm, if in their Power to redress or prevent it. But farther, Parents, in forming their Children’s Minds, are in many Cases to adapt their Instructions to the Station of Life they are expected to act in. Those of Condition must not see their Parents injured, especially in a Matter of any Moment, and neglect to remove the Fault: those who are to serve, besides Duty and Respect, owe Justice; therefore must not only be faithful in their own Actions, but discover any real Injustice in those of others; and particularly they must detest with honest Scorn the being privy to an underhand Match. Laying Schemes, conveying Letters, Concealments from the Parents, or Denials where Danger is suspected, or otherwise contributing to the Ruin of a young Master or Lady, even tho’ they could make their own Fortune by being in the Secret, are Actions ever to be shunned, as they are base in their Nature, and grossly unjust.

The last Source of Injustice is Revenge. I have said before, that pure Morality teaches us to throw a Veil over others Faults; I may with equal Truth say, it obliges us to forgive Injuries. For altho’ it is a Justice due to ourselves to maintain our Right, yet the same Self-Justice requires us to forgive those by whom we have been wrong’d. If we can remove an Injury, we may, and ought; but Revenge is not the Weapon we are to use for that Purpose. Whatever fires our Revenge, is apt to cloud our Reason; Men therefore who meditate Revenge, seldom have Reason for their Guide; and he who forsakes Reason, is a bad Judge how far Revenge should be carried. If we mentally survey a revengeful Man, how melancholy is the View! What Agitations in his Mind! what Flutterings in his Heart! All Nature seems convulsed within him! and, in the Midst of his Self-torture, his only Thoughts are, whether he shall ruin, or be ruined; murder, or be murdered! But if we go farther, and behold this Man in the Action he has so eagerly sought for, or carry our Ideas to the Consequences of it, we must tremble with Pity. His Countenance is an Index of his Mind: what Fury on his Brow; what Fire darts from his Eyes; what Malice, in confused, imperfect Accents, flows from his Lips; and what frantic Rage possesses his Soul! Sometimes a Duel is to repair the Injury; dreadful Situation! since whichsoever falls, the Calamity is inexpressible. Who can recall the Blood once spilt, the Life once lost? who can console the wretched Survivor, when Revenge is glutted, and Reflection calls him back to himself? or can the Receiver of the Challenge draw Consolation in his future Life, from a false Point of Honour? no, no; it is all Delusion; and independent of the Crimes which gave rise to it, the Deed itself is gross Injustice. Revenge puts on many Shapes: some seek it not in Blood, yet, with equal Fury, hunt another to Ruin and Death by unjust Law-suits. What Havock does this make! How many fall from Affluence to Want, from Splendor to a Goal, thro’ the Inveteracy of Revenge! Not all the Concessions of the opposite Party, not all the Tears of his Wife, nor the impending Ruin of his Children, can appease the Revengeful: Savage-like, he quits not his Hold till his Fury is glutted, till his Adversary is destroyed. Besides these, there are many other Species of Revenge, less obvious indeed, but perhaps not less criminal: there are Men whose Fury is less, but whose Malice is equal: Men with cooler Heads, but with inveterate Hearts. Injuries, whether fancied or real, seize the Heart of the Revengeful, and having once taken place, a thousand things are machinated for Retaliation of the Offence: every good Office ceases; ill Offices take place of them; cruel to their Character when absent; arrogant and disdainful to their Person when present; their Reputation torn to Pieces; false Constructions put on their most innocent Actions; and every sinister Means used to strip them of Fame, and Fortune; nay even of Bread. See here the dreadful Passion of Revenge; view the Cruelty on one Side, the ruinous Effects on the other. What Care then should Parents take to banish it from their Children’s Hearts, seeing it is the Source of Misery to themselves, and Destruction to others! Let them labour to stifle the first Resentments; let them speak to their Understandings as they advance. Youth is naturally full of Fire, and as now their Judgment is weak, they are easily misled by false Notions of Honour; but where Malice is found to reside in their Hearts, it will demand the utmost Pains to root it out: still all should aim at effecting it. To this End, besides checking the earliest Resentments, let Parents paint in the liveliest Colours the Deformity of Revenge; let them shew how much it destroys their own inward Peace; let them counteract the Passion by encouraging in them Meekness, Clemency and Love; and above all, prove to them how much they sink beneath the Dignity of Human Nature, how much they injure themselves, and how unjust they are to Society in every Action that is accompanied with Revenge; but particularly where Life, Health, Fame, Peace, or Property are affected by it.

Thus much have I said to shew the Necessity Parents are under of teaching their Children the Knowledge and Love of that great Bond of Society, Justice: it demands indeed much more Labour to discuss every Point; but I persuade myself, that if their Hearts are duly impressed with the Principles here laid down, they will be animated to know and practise every other Act of Justice which their various Stations in Life offer them the Occasions of. Virtues beget Virtues; one Act of Equity will lead them to a second; a second will warm them to the Execution of a third; a Self-denial of little irregular things, will make way for the Entrance of Reason; and Reason exercised on the solid Principles of Justice, will enable them to conquer every lawless Desire, every turbulent Passion.

Notwithstanding what has been said thro’ the Course of this Attempt, of conquering our Passions, it is not to be understood that we are to be passive, spiritless, and insipid; far from it; this would be frustrating the Design of Providence. We are, under Reason’s Guide, to enjoy our own Minds with honest Freedom; and he who has a warm Heart, a chearful Mind, and a frank Behaviour, bids fairest for being a good Man. But what irresistibly proves us design’d for an active State, is, the Virtue of Fortitude. Fortitude is Patience improv’d; it is Courage exalted; it is that Virtue which enables us not only to bear Sickness, Pain, Disgrace, and Poverty, but arms us with Power either to conquer these Evils, or at least so to weaken their Force that they may not bear too hard upon us. In viewing Mankind in general, or if each views himself in particular, it will be found that Life is imbitter’d a thousand Ways; all have their own Troubles, all feel their different Sufferings; some indeed taste so little of the Sweets of Life, or have them so strongly impregnated with Sorrows, that they are scarce sensible of their Relish: Fortitude alone then is the Remedy for these Evils; and therefore should be the Object of every one’s Study. With this Weapon we are enabled to face every Danger, to encounter every Trouble, and to struggle with every Difficulty: it is the Instrument Providence has kindly put into our Hands; and not to use it, is the highest Ingratitude, at the same time that it is being ignorant of our own Happiness. Parents then cannot justify the Neglect of this Virtue to their Children: and it is from this Knowledge of Life, that I have already proposed, in Compassion and Regard to their future Happiness, that they familiarize them, with all the Tenderness of good Parents, to little Disappointments while young; that they may be arm’d to bear greater as they ought. All irregular Desires we should disclaim from our Hearts; but even with regard to those which are in their Nature innocent, lawful, and reasonable, how often are we disappointed! How then will Children, as they advance, struggle with Disappointments, if Strangers to the proper Guide, if unacquainted with Fortitude?

But here I must observe, that many things are looked upon as grievous Evils, which, if considered in a proper Light, are no Evils at all: and to what is this owing? certainly to the erroneous Measures taken at setting out. The Eagerness of Children after every new Trifle, the Desire of engaging in whatever is called Pleasure, and the early Passion for Dress and Show, make them earnest to have their Humour comply’d with. Now as many of these things are highly improper, gratifying their Demands must be an Error more or less; but this is the least Part of the Evil: the Habit of having all they desire increases with their Years; and without considering, whether the Things they seek are necessary or reasonable, they pursue their Desires, and are wretched when disappointed. Hence arise many of the Passions which disturb the Oeconomy of Families, and fill the World with Disorder: Men disappointed in their Business, and cross’d in their Will, burst into Rage, or contract a Fretfulness which makes them unhappy in themselves, and painful to all who see or feel the Effects of it: and Women who have been used in Childhood to conquer their Parents, and in Youth all the World, who have been constantly addressed in the language of Romances, and have been vainly taught to think the Men their Slaves; Women, I say, who are thus educated, are but very ill prepared to meet Disappointments: the first Opposition throws them into Fits, whence follow Vapours, Melancholy and Indolence; the next kindles their Resentment, which agitates the Mind, spoils the Features, by tearing off the natural Softness of the Countenance, and puts the sweetest Temper into a Ferment; and, if a Husband be the Object of it, ’tis great Odds but a short Time creates either an unjust Coldness, or a fixed Aversion. Mr. _Locke_, sensible of the Danger of irregular Indulgence, thus describes the Situation of a fondled Son. “He that hath been used to have his Will in every thing as long as he was in Coats, why should we think it strange that he should desire it, and contend for it still, when he is in Breeches? Indeed, as he grows towards a Man, Age shews his Faults the more; so that there are few Parents then so blind as not to see them, few so insensible as not to feel the ill Effects of their own Indulgence. He had the Will of his Maid before he could speak or go; he had the Mastery of his Parents ever since he could prattle; and why, now he is grown up, is stronger and wiser than he was then, why now of a sudden should he be restrained and curbed? Why must he at seven, fourteen, or twenty Years old, lose the Privilege, which his Parents Indulgence till then so largely allowed him?” From all this it is evident, that the early planting of regular Desires, checking the Growth of vicious ones, and subjecting Passion to Reason, are the great Means to lay the Foundation of Happiness in our Children, and the surest Fence against many Evils they would otherwise be exposed to: but if after all this, Sorrow, Pain, Disappointment, or Poverty be their Lot, let Parents teach them to meet it as they ought; teach them with the firmest Resolution, with unshaken Constancy, to bear up against the rude Attack; and teach them that the only way to lessen the Evils they cannot avoid, is to adhere inseparably to that heroic Virtue Fortitude.