Chapter 81

ENTER _Hegio_ WITH _Slave Overseer_.

_Hegio_

Advorte animum sis tu: istos captives duos, 110 heri quos emi de praeda a quaestoribus, eis indito catenas singularias istas, maiores, quibus sunt iuncti, demito;

Attention, please, my man. Those two captives that I bought yesterday from the commissioners in charge of the spoils-- put the light irons on them and take off the heavy ones they’re coupled with.

sinito ambulare, si foris si intus volent, sed uti adserventur magna diligentia. liber captivos avis ferae consimilis est: semel fugiendi si data est occasio, satis est, numquam postilla possis prendere.

Let them walk out here or inside, whichever they please; but look after them sharp, mind you. A captive free is a regular wild bird: once given a chance to flit, that is enough--you can never get hold of him again.

_Lor._ _Over._

Omnes profecto liberi lubentius sumus quam servimus.

Well, of course sir, we’d all rather be free than slaves.

_Hegio._

Non videre ita tu quidem. 120

That seems untrue of you at any rate.[A]

[Footnote A: Implying that he had not tried to save money to buy his liberty.]

_Lor._ _Over._

Si non est quod dem, mene vis dem ipse--in pedes?

In case I haven’t anything else to give you, how about my giving you--the slip?

_Hegio_

Si dederis, erit extemplo mihi quod dem tibi.

Give me that, and I shall shortly have something to give you.

_Lor._ _Over._

Avis me ferae consimilem faciam, ut praedicas.

I’ll copy that wild bird you speak of.

_Hegio_

Ita ut dicis: nam si faxis, te in caveam dabo. sed satis verborumst. cura quae iussi atque abi. ego ibo ad fratrem ad alios captives meos, visam ne nocte hac quippiam turbaverint. inde me continuo recipiam rursum domum.

Exactly--for then I’ll cage you. But enough of this. Mind my orders and be off with you. I’ll drop in at my brother’s for a look at my other prisoners, and see if they made any disturbance last night. Then I’ll return home again at once. [EXIT _Overseer_ INTO HOUSE.

_Erg._

Aegre est mi, hunc facere quaestum carcerarium propter sui gnati miseriam miserum senem. 130 sed si ullo pacto ille huc conciliari potest, vel carnificinam hunc facere possum perpeti.

(_with a loud sigh_) It does grieve me to see the poor old gentleman at this gaoler’s job for his poor son’s sake. (_in lower tone_) However, if he only manages to get the lad back here somehow, let him turn hangman, too,--I can stand it.

_Hegio_

Quis hic loquitur?

(_looking round_) Who is that speaking here?

_Erg._

Ego, qui tuo maerore maceror, macesco, consenesco et tabesco miser; ossa atque pellis sum miser a macritudine; neque umquam quicquam me iuvat quod edo domi: foris aliquantillum etiam quod gusto, id beat.

(_stepping forward_) I--a man that am all worn out by your woe, that am getting thin, growing old, pining away in sorrow; I’m nothing but skin and bones, I feel for you so. Nothing I eat--at home--ever does me any good, (_aside_) But how I do relish the merest morsel when I’m dining out!

_Hegio_

Ergasile, salve.

Ah, good day, Ergasilus.

_Erg._

Di te bene ament, Hegio.

God bless you, Hegio, bless you bounteously! (_grasps Hegio’s hand fervently and bursts into tears_)

_Hegio_

Ne fle.

Don’t cry.

_Erg._

Egone illum non fleam? egon non defleam talem adulescentem?

I not cry for him? I not cry my eyes out for such a youth?

_Hegio_

Semper sensi, filio 140 meo te esse amicum, et illum intellexi tibi.

(_somewhat moved_) I always did feel that you were a friend to my son, and I realized that he regarded you as one.

_Erg._

Tum denique homines nostra intellegimus bona, quom quae in potestate habuimus, ea amisimus. ego, postquam gnatus tuos potitust hostium, expertus quanti fuerit nunc desidero.

Ah, we mortals realize the value of our blessings only when we have lost them. Myself now--after your son fell in with the enemy, I have come to understand how much he meant to me, and now I long for him.

_Hegio_

Alienus cum eius incommodum tam aegre feras, quid me patrem par facerest, cui ille est unicus?

When an outsider like you takes his misfortune so bitterly, how must I feel, his father, and he my only son?

_Erg._

Alienus ego? alienus illi? aha, Hegio, numquam istuc dixis neque animum induxis tuom; tibi ille unicust, mi etiam unico magis unicus. 150

(_choking_) An outsider? I? An outsider to that boy? Oh-h-h, Hegio! don’t say a thing like that, don’t let such a thought enter your mind, ever! Your only son, yes,--but he was even more than that to me: he was my only only! (_sobs violently_)

_Hegio_

Laudo, malum cum amici tuom ducis malum, nunc habe bonum animum.

I appreciate this, that you consider your friend’s disaster your own. (_patting him on the back_) Come now, take heart.

_Erg._

Eheu, huic illud dolet, quia nunc remissus est edendi exercitus.

Oh, dear! oh, dear! here’s (_rubbing his stomach_) where it hurts: my whole commissary department has been disbanded now, you see.

_Hegio_

Nullumne interea nactu’s, qui posset tibi remissum quem dixti imperare exercitum?

(_smiling_) And meantime haven’t you hit upon anyone that could reorganize the department you say is disbanded?

_Erg._

Quid credis? fugitant omnes hanc provinciam, quoi optigerat postquam captust Philopolemus tuos.

Would you believe it? Every one keeps fighting shy of the office ever since your Philopolemus, its duly elected occupant, was captured.

_Hegio_

Non pol mirandum est fugitare hanc provinciam, multis et multigeneribus opus est tibi militibus: primumdum opus est Pistorensibus: 160 eorum sunt aliquot genera Pistorensium: opus Paniceis est, opus Placentinis quoque; opus Turdetanis, opust Ficedulensibus; iam maritumi omnes milites opus sunt tibi.

Bless my soul! no wonder they fight shy of it. You need many recruits, of many sorts, too: why, in the first place you need Pad-u-ans;[B] and there are several kinds of Paduans: you need the support of Bologna, and you need Frankfurters too; you need Leghorners and you need Pis-ans, and furthermore you need every fighter in fin land.

[Footnote B: Here, as in the lines 880-883, the translator craves pardon for distorting the ages and spoiling the climes in his efforts to secure something of the effect of the original puns.]

_Erg_

Ut saepe summa ingenia in occulto latent; hic qualis imperator nunc privatus est.

(_appreciatively_) How often it does happen that the greatest talents are shrouded in obscurity! This man now-- what a generalissimo, and here he is only a private citizen!

_Hegio_

Habe modo bonum animum, nam illum confido domum in his diebus me reconciliassere. nam eccum hic captivom adulescentem intus Aleum, prognatum genere summo et summis ditiis: 170 hoc illum me mutare confido pote.

Well, well, now, take heart. As a matter of fact, I trust we shall have the boy back with us in a few days. For, look you (_pointing to house_) I have a young Elean prisoner inside here--splendid family, quantities of money: I count on being able to exchange him for my son.

_Erg_

Ita di deaeque faxint. sed num quo foras vocatus es ad cenam?

(_heartily_) The gods and goddesses be with you! I say, though,--you haven’t been invited out to dinner anywhere?

_Hegio_

Nusquam quod sciam sed quid tu id quaeris?

(_cautiously_) Nowhere, to my knowledge. But why do you ask?

_Erg_

Quia mi est natalis dies; propterea te vocari ad te ad cenam volo

Well, to-day is my birthday: so consider yourself invited to take dinner at--your house.

_Hegio_

Facete dictum. sed si pauxillo potes, contentus esse.

(_laughing_) Well put! But only on condition you can be content with very little.

_Erg._

Ne perpauxillum modo, nam istoc me assiduo victu delecto domi, age sis, roga emptum. nisi qui meliorem adferet quae mi atque amicis placeat condicio magis, 180 quasi fundum vendam, meis me addicam legibus

Yes, only don’t make it very, very, very little, for that is what I regale myself on constantly at home. Come on, come on, do please say “Done!” (_after a pause, formally_) In the event of no party making a better offer, more satisfactory to myself and associates, I’ll knock myself down to you--on my own terms--just as if I was selling an estate by auction.

_Hegio_

Profundum vendis tu quidem, haud fundum, mihi sed si venturu’s, temperi.

An estate indeed! You mean an empty state. But if you intend to come, come in season.

_Erg._

Em, vel iam otium est.

Oho! I’m at leisure this minute, for that matter.

_Hegio_

I modo, venare leporem: nunc irim tenes; nam meus scruposam victus commetat viam.

No, no, go hunt your hare: you’ve got only a hedge-hog so far. For it is a rocky road my table travels.

_Erg._

Numquam istoc vinces me, Hegio, ne postules: cum calceatis dentibus veniam tamen.

You’ll never down me that way, Hegio, and don’t you think to do it: I’ll be with you just the same--with my teeth shod.

_Hegio_

Asper meus victus sane est.

My meals are perfect terrors, really.

_Erg._

Sentisne essitas?

Tearers? Do you eat brambles?

_Hegio_

Terrestris cena est.

Well, things that root in the earth.

_Erg._

Sus terrestris bestia est.

A porker does that.

_Hegio_

Multis holeribus.

Mostly vegetables, I mean.

_Erg._

Curato aegrotos domi. 190 numquid vis?

Open a sanitarium, then. (_turning to go_) Anything else I can do for you?

_Hegio_

Venias temperi.

Come in season.

_Erg._

Memorem mones.

(_cheerfully_) The suggestion is superfluous. [EXIT.

_Hegio_

Ibo intro atque intus subducam ratiunculam, quantillum argenti mi apud trapezitam siet. ad fratrem, quo ire dixeram, mox ivero.

(_sighing as he looks at the back of his prospective guest_) I must go in and reckon up my bit of a bank balance, and see how low it is. Then to my brother’s, where I spoke of going before. [EXIT INTO HOUSE.

ACTVS II