Chapter 69

ENTER _Pistoclerus_ INTO DOORWAY.

_Pistoc._

Quid istuc? quae istaec est pulsatio? [20]quae te mala crux agitat, qui ad istunc modum alieno viris tuas extentes ostio? fores paene exfregisti. quid nunc vis tibi?

(_angrily_) What’s all this? What do you mean by pounding so? What the devil ails you, to test your strength on other people’s doors this way? You’ve nearly smashed it off. Now what are you after?

_Par._

Adulescens, salve.

(_somewhat cowed_) Good day, young gentleman.

_Pistoc._

Salve, sed quem quaeritas?

Good day. But who is it you’re looking for?

_Par._

Bacchidem.

Bacchis.

_Pistoc._

Utram ergo?

Well, which?

_Par._

Nil scio nisi Bacchidem. paucis: me misit miles ad eam Cleomachus, vel ut ducentos Philippos reddat aureos 590 vel ut hinc in Elatiam hodie eat secum semul.

Bacchis--that’s all I know. Briefly: Captain Cleomachus sent me to say she must either pay him back two hundred golden sovereigns, or else go along with him to-day to Elatea.

_Pistoc._

Non it. negat se ituram. abi et renuntia. alium illa amat, non illum. due te ab aedibus.

She is not going. She refuses to go. Away with you and report! It’s another man she loves, not him. March yourself off!

_Par._

Nimis iracunde.

(_soothingly_) You’re too irritable.

_Pistoc._

At scin quam iracundus siem? ne tibi hercle haud longe est os ab infortunio, ita dentifrangibula haec meis manibus gestiunt.

(_roaring_) But d’ye know how irritable? By the Lord, that face of yours is precious close to a calamity, the way these (_shaking his fists at parasite, who retreats_) tooth-crackers here are itching!

_Par._

Cum ego huius verba interpretor, mihi cautiost, ne nucifrangibula excussit ex malis meis. tuo ego istaec igitur dicam illi periculo.

(_aside, wryly_) To judge from his remarks, I must take care he doesn’t knock the nutcrackers out of my jaws. (_aloud_) All right, I’ll tell him about this, and it will be at your risk. (_turns to go_)

_Pistoc._

Quid ais tu?

See here! (_advancing_)

_Par._

Ego istuc illi dicam.

(_backing away_) I’ll tell him what you say.

_Pistoc._

Dic mihi, 600 quis tu es?

Tell me this, who are you?

_Par._

Illius sum integumentum corporis.

(_impressively_) I am the Captain’s corporal integument.

_Pistoc._

Nequam esse oportet cui tu integumentum improbu’s.

A sorry specimen he must be to have a rascal like you for an integument!

_Par._

Sufflatus ille huc veniet.

He’ll be coming here swelling with rage.

_Pistoc._

Dirrumptum velim.

I hope he bursts.

_Par._

Numquid vis?

(_going_) Anything more I can do?

_Pistoc._

Abeas. celeriter factost opus.

Yes, get out! And you need to be quick about it. (_advancing_)

_Par._

Vale, dentifrangibule.

(_running_) Farewell, Sir Toothcracker.

_Pistoc._

Et tu, integumentum, vale. in eum nunc haec res venit locum, ut quid consili dem meo sodali super amica nesciam, qui iratus renumeravit omne aurum patri, neque nummus ullust qui reddatur militi. sed huc concedam, nam concrepuerunt fores. 610 Mnesilochus eccum maestus progreditur foras.

The same to yourself, Sir Integument. [EXIT _Parasite._] Now matters have come to the point where I don’t know how to advise my chum about his mistress, what with his getting angry and counting out all the gold to his father, and not a penny left to pay the Captain. (_listening_) But I’ll step aside here: (_does so_) the door creaked. Ah, there’s our woebegone Mnesilochus coming out.

IV. 3.