Chapter 45

ENTER _Megadorus._

_Mega._

Narravi amicis multis consilium meum de condicione hac. Euclionis filiam laudant. sapienter factum et consilio bono.

(_not seeing Euclio_) Well, I’ve told a number of friends of my intentions regarding this match. They were full of praise for Euclio’s daughter. Say it’s the sensible thing to do, a fine idea.

nam meo quidem animo si idem faciant ceteri opulentiores, pauperiorum filias ut indotatas ducant uxores domum, 480 et multo fiat civitas concordior, et invidia nos minore utamur quam utimur, et illae malam rem metuant quam metuont magis, et nos minore sumptu simus quam sumus.

Yes, for my part I’m convinced that if the rest of our well-to-do citizens would follow my example and marry poor men’s daughters and let the dowries go, there would be a great deal more unity in our city, and people would be less bitter against us men of means than they are, and our wives would stand in greater awe of marital authority than they do, and the cost of living would be lower for us than it is.

in maximam illuc populi partem est optimum; in pauciores avidos altercatio est, quorum animis avidis atque insatietatibus neque lex neque sutor capere est qui possit modum. namque hoc qui dicat “quo illae nubent divites dotatae, si istud ius pauperibus ponitur?” 490

It’s just the thing for the vast majority of the people; the fight comes with a handful of greedy fellows so stingy and grasping that neither law nor cobbler can take their measure. And now supposing some one should ask: “Who are the rich girls with dowries going to marry, if you make this rule for the poor ones?”

quo lubeant, nubant, dum dos ne fiat comes. hoc si ita fiat, mores meliores sibi parent, pro dote quos ferant, quam nunc ferunt, ego faxim muli, pretio qui superant equos, sint viliores Gallicis cantheriis.

Why, anyone they please, let ’em marry, provided their dowry doesn’t go along with ’em. In that case, instead of bringing their husbands money, they’d bring them better behaved wives than they do at present. Those mules of theirs that cost more than horses do now--they’d be cheaper than Gallic geldings by the time I got through.

_Eucl._

Ita me di amabunt ut ego hunc ausculto lubens. nimis lepide fecit verba ad parsimoniam.

(_aside_) God bless my soul, how I do love to hear him talk! Those thoughts of his about economizing--beautiful, beautiful!

_Mega._

Nulla igitur dicat “equidem dotem ad te adtuli maiorem multo quam tibi erat pecunia; enim mihi quidem aequomst purpuram atque aurum dari, 500 ancillas, mulos, muliones, pedisequos, salutigerulos pueros, vehicla qui vehar.”

Then you wouldn’t hear them saying: “Well, sir, you never had anything like the money I brought you, and you know it. Fine clothes and jewellery, indeed! And maids and mules and coachmen and footmen and pages and private carriages--well, if I haven’t a right to them!”

_Eucl._

Ut matronarum hic facta pernovit probe. moribus praefectum mulierum hunc factum velim.

(_aside_) Ah, he knows ’em, knows ’em through and through, these society dames! Oh, if he could only be appointed supervisor of public morals--the women’s!

_Mega._

Nunc quoquo venias plus plaustrorum in aedibus videas quam ruri, quando ad villam veneris. sed hoc etiam pulchrum est praequam ubi sumptus petunt.

Wherever you go nowadays you see more wagons in front of a city mansion than you can find around a farmyard. That’s a perfectly glorious sight, though, compared with the time when the tradesmen come for their money.

stat fullo, phyrgio, aurifex, lanarius; caupones patagiarii, indusiarii, flammarii, volarii, carinarii; 510 stant manulearii, stant[10] murobatharii, propolae linteones, calceolarii; sedentarii sutores diabathrarii, solearii astant, astant molocinarii;[11] (514) strophiarii astant, astant semul sonarii. (516)

The cleanser, the ladies’ tailor, the jeweller, the woollen worker--they’re all hanging round. And there are the dealers in flounces and underclothes and bridal veils, in violet dyes and yellow dyes, or muffs, or balsam scented foot-gear; and then the lingerie people drop in on you, along with shoemakers and squatting cobblers and slipper and sandal merchants and dealers in mallow dyes; and the belt makers flock around, and the girdle makers along with ’em.

iam hosce absolutes censeas: cedunt, petunt treceni, cum stant thylacistae in atriis textores limbularii, arcularii. ducuntur, datur aes. iam absolutos censeas, 520 cum incedunt infectores corcotarii, aut aliqua mala crux semper est, quae aliquid petat.

And now you may think you’ve got them all paid off. Then up come weavers and lace men and cabinet-makers--hundreds of ’em--who plant themselves like jailers in your halls and want you to settle up. You bring ’em in and square accounts. “All paid off now, anyway,” you may be thinking, when in march the fellows who do the saffron dyeing--some damned pest or other, anyhow, eternally after something.

_Eucl._

Compellarem ego illum, ni metuam ne desinat memorare mores mulierum: nunc sic sinam.

(_aside_) I’d hail him, only I’m afraid he’d stop talking about how the women go on. No, no, I’ll let him be.

_Mega._

Ubi nugivendis res soluta est omnibus, ibi ad postremum cedit miles, aes petit. itur, putatur ratio cum argentario, miles inpransus astat, aes censet dari. ubi disputata est ratio cum argentario, etiam ipsus ultro debet argentario. 530 spes prorogatur militi in alium diem.

When you’ve got all these fellows of fluff and ruffles satisfied, along comes a military man, bringing up the rear, and wants to collect the army tax. You go and have a reckoning with your banker, your military gentleman standing by and missing his lunch in the expectation of getting some cash. After you and the banker have done figuring, you find you owe him money too, and the military man has his hopes postponed till another day.

haec sunt atque aliae multae in magnis dotibus. incommoditates sumptusque intolerabiles nam quae indotata est, ea in potestate est viri; dotatae mactant et malo et damno viros sed eccum adfinem ante aedes. quid agis, Euclio?

These are some of the nuisances and intolerable expenses that big dowries let you in for, and there are plenty more. Now a wife that doesn’t bring you a penny--a husband has some control over her; it’s the dowered ones that pester the life out of their husbands with the way they cut up and squander. (_seeing Euclio_) But there’s my new relative in front of the house! How are you, Euclio?

III. 6.