Chapter 24

ENTER FROM FORUM _Libanus_ AND _Leonida_, LATTER CARRYING A WALLET.

_Lib._

Perfidiae laudes gratiasque habemus merito magnas, quom nostris sycophantiis, dolis astutiisque,[17] (546) advorsum stetimus lamminas,[18] crucesque compedesque, (548) nervos, catenas, carceres, numellas, pedicas, boias 549,550 inductoresque[19] acerrumos gnarosque nostri tergi.[20] (551)

(_chanting ecstatically_) All praise and thanks be to holy Perfidy as she deserves, since by our swindles, shams, and wiles we have defied hot irons and crosses and gyves, and thongs, chains, cells, shackles, fetters, collars, and painters--painters keen as can be and intimate with our backs!

eae nunc legiones, copiae exercitusque eorum (554) vi pugnando periuriis nostris fugae potiti. id virtute huius collegae[21] meaque comitate factumst. qui me vir fortior ad sufferundas plagas?

All these regiments, battalions, and armies of theirs have been put to flight, after fierce fighting, by our fabrications. ’Tis the valour of my colleague hath done it, with my own kind assistance. Who’s a stouter-hearted hero than I am at taking thwacks?

_Leon._

Edepol virtutes qui tuas non possis conclaudare sic ut ego possim, quae domi duellique male fecisti. ne illa edepol pro merito tuo memorari multa possunt: 560

(_sneeringly_) Good Lord! Your deeds of valour--you couldn’t celebrate them the way I could your villainies at home and in the field. Gad! you certainly can be acredited with a lengthy list of things along that line.

ubi fidentem fraudaveris, ubi ero infidelis fueris, ubi verbis conceptis sciens libenter periuraris, ubi parietes perfoderis, in furto ubi sis prehensus, ubi saepe causam dixeris pendens adversus octo artutos, audacis viros, valentis virgatores.

Item, cheated a confiding friend; item, faithless to master; item, committed perjury consciously, cheerfully, in set form of words; item, dug your way into houses through the walls; item, caught at thieving; item, strung up repeatedly and plead your case before eight bold, brawny beef-eaters with a gift for club swinging.

_Lib._

Fateor profecto ut praedicas, Leonida, esse vera; verum edepol ne etiam tua quoque malefacta iterari multa et vero possunt; ubi sciens fideli infidus fueris, ubi prensus in furto sies manifesto et verberatus,[22] 569 ubi eris damno, molestiae et dedecori saepe fueris, (571)

I am quite ready to admit that is a just statement of the case, Leonida; but, Lord! the list of even your own villainies, too, can certainly be made lengthy enough, without injustice. Item, consciously treacherous to a trusting friend; item, caught stealing redhanded and whipped; item, repeatedly brought loss, trouble, and disgrace on your masters;

ubi creditum quod sit tibi datum esse pernegaris,[23] (572) ubi saepe ad languorem tua duritia dederis octo (574) validos lictores, ulmeis adfectos lentis virgis. num male relata est gratia, ut collegam collaudavi?

item, had money left in your keeping and swore and swore it wasn’t; item, repeatedly exhausted by your toughness eight strong lictors equipped with pliant elm rods. (_pause_) Have I celebrated my colleague highly enough to pay him back--eh, what?

_Leon._

Ut meque teque maxime atque ingenio nostro decuit.

(_thoughtfully_) Yes, pretty much what you and I and our characters deserved.

_Lib._

Iam omitte ista atque hoc quod rogo responde.

Drop your nonsense now and answer me this question.

_Leon._

Rogita quod vis.

Ask your question.

_Lib._

Argenti viginti minas habesne?

(_triumphantly_) The eighty pounds, have you got it?

_Leon._

Hariolare. edepol senem Demaenetum lepidum fuisse nobis: 580 ut adsimulabat Sauream med esse quam facete! nimis aegre risum contini, ubi hospitem inclamavit, quod se absente mihi fidem habere noluisset. ut memoriter me Sauream vocabat atriensem.

You’re a prophet! By gad, old Demaenetus did do the handsome thing by us. The way he pretended I was Saurea--clever, my word! I did have a deuce of a time holding in when he hauled our guest over the coils for not being willing to trust me in his absence. The way he remembered to keep calling me steward Saurea!

_Lib._

Mane dum.

(_looking toward Cleareta’s house_) Wait, though!

_Leon._

Quid est?

What’s up?

_Lib._

Philaenium estne haec quae intus exit atque Argyrippus una?

Isn’t this Philaenium coming out here, yes, and Argyrippus along with her?

_Leon._

Opprime os, is est. subauscultemus.

(_in low tone_) Shut your mouth--so it is. Let’s do some eaves-dropping (_they retire_)

_Lib._

Lacrumantem lacinia tenet lacrumans. quidnam esse dicam? taciti auscultemus.

Both crying and she holding on to the lappet of his cloak! What on earth is the matter! Let’s keep still and listen.

_Leon._

Attatae, modo hercle in mentem venit, nimis vellem habere perticam.

Oh-h! Jove! It has just occurred to me; how I do wish I had a pole!

_Lib._

Quoi rei?

What for?

_Leon._

Qui verberarem asinos, si forte occeperint clamare hinc ex crumina 590

To whop those asses, if they happen to start braying in the wallet here.

III. 3.