Chapter 22

ENTER _Leonida_, APPARENTLY IN A RAGE.

_Leon._

Quid hoc sit negoti, neminem meum dictum magni facere? Libanum in tonstrinam ut iusseram venire, is nullus venit. ne ille edepol tergo et cruribus consuluit haud decore.

What does this mean? Does no one mind what I say? I told Libanus to come to the barber’s shop, and he never came at all. By the Lord, he hasn’t given due thought to the welfare of his hide and shanks, that’s a fact!

_Merc._ _Trader_

Nimis imperiosust.

(_aside_) A precious domineering chap!

_Lib._

Vae mihi.

(_affecting terror_) Oh, I’m in for it!

_Leon._

Hodie salvere iussi 410 Libanum libertum? iam manu emissu’s?

(_to Libanus ironically_) Ah, greetings to Libanus the freedman, is it, to-day? Have you been manumitted now? (_advancing_)

_Lib._

Obsecro te.

(_cowering_) Please, please, sir!

_Leon._

Ne tu hercle cum magno malo mihi obviam occessisti. cur non venisti, ut iusseram, in tonstrinam?

By heaven, I’ll certainly give you good reason to regret crossing my path. Why didn’t you come to the barber’s, as I ordered?

_Lib._

Hic me moratust.

(_pointing to trader_) This gentleman delayed me.

_Leon._

Siquidem hercle nunc summum Iovem te dicas detinuisse atque is precator adsiet, malam rem effugies numquam. tu, verbero, imperium meum contempsisti?

(_without looking at trader_) Damme! You can go on and say Jove Almighty detained you, yes, and he can come here and plead your case, but you shall never escape a flogging. You scorned my authority, you whipping post?

_Lib._

Perii, hospes.

(_running behind trader_) Oh kind stranger, I’m a dead man!

_Merc._ _Trader_

Quaeso hercle noli, Saurea, mea causa hunc verberare.

By Jove, Saurea! Now, now, don’t flog him, for my sake!

_Leon._

Utinam nunc stimulus in manu mihi sit.

(_paying no attention_) Oh, if I could only get hold of an ox goad now!

_Merc._ _Trader_

Quiesce quaeso.

Now, now, calm down.

_Leon._

Qui latera conteram tua, quae occalluere plagis. abscede ac sine me hunc perdere, qui semper me ira incendit, 420 cui numquam unam rem me licet semel praecipere furi, quin centiens eadem imperem atque ogganniam, itaque iam hercle clamore ac stomacho non queo labori suppeditare.

So as to stave in those ribs of yours that have grown callous to blows! (_to trader_) Out of my way, and let me murder the rascal that always sets me afire with rage, that never lets one order from me suffice for one job, the criminal, but keeps me commanding and growling the same thing a hundred times over. Good Lord, it’s come to the point where I can’t stand the work, what with yelling and storming at him!

iussin, sceleste, ab ianua hoc stercus hinc auferri? iussin columnis deici operas araneorum? iussin in splendorem dari bullas has foribus nostris?

Didn’t I tell you to carry off this dung from the doorway, you villain? Didn’t I tell you to clean the spiders’ webs off the columns? Didn’t I tell you to rub these door knobs till they shone?

nihil est: tamquam si claudus sim, cum fustist ambulandum. quia triduom hoc unum modo foro operam adsiduam dedo, dum reperiam qui quaeritet argentum in faenus, hic vos dormitis interea domi, atque erus in hara, haud aedibus habitat, 430 em ergo hoc tibi.

It’s no good: anyone would think I was lame, the way I have to travel around after you with a cane. Because I’ve been constantly busy at the forum just for the last three days, trying to find some one to place a loan with, here you’ve been drowsing all the time at home, and your master living in a pig-pen, not a house. There now, take that! (_strikes him_)

_Lib._

Hospes, te obsecro, defende.

Kind stranger! For heaven’s sake protect me!

_Merc._ _Trader_

Saurea, oro, mea causa ut mittas.

Come, Saurea, do let him off for my sake.

_Leon._

Eho, ecquis pro vectura olivi rem solvit?

(_to Libanus_) Hey, you! Did anyone pay for the shipping of that oil?

_Lib._

Solvit.

Yes, sir.

_Leon._

Cui datumst?

Who to?

_Lib._

Sticho vicario ipsi tuo.

To Stichus himself, sir, your own deputy.

_Leon._

Vah, delenire apparas, scio mihi vicarium esse, neque eo esse servom in aedibus eri qui sit pluris quam illest. sed vina quae heri vendidi vinario Exaerambo, iam pro eis satis fecit Sticho?

Hm-m! trying to smooth me down! To be sure I have a deputy, and there’s not a slave in the master’s house that is a more valuable man than that deputy, either. But how about the wine I sold to Exaerambus the vintner yesterday--has he settled with Stichus for it yet?

_Lib._

Fecisse satis opinor, nam vidi huc ipsum adducere trapezitam Exaerambum.

I reckon he has, sir: for I saw Exaerambus bringing the banker here himself.

_Leon._

Sic dedero. prius quae credidi vix anno post exegi; nunc satagit: adducit domum etiam ultro et scribit nummos. Dromo mercedem rettulit? 440

That’s the style for me! Last time I trusted him I barely got the money out of him a year afterwards. Now he pays his bills: even brings his banker over to the house besides, and writes his cheque. Has Dromo brought home his wages?

_Lib._

Dimidio minus opinor.

Only half, I think.

_Leon._

Quid relicuom?

And the rest?

_Lib._

Aibat reddere quom extemplo redditum esset; nam retineri, ut quod sit sibi operis locatum efficeret.

He said he’d give it to you as soon as it was given to him; claimed it was kept back so that he’d finish up a job that was placed with him.

_Leon._

Scyphos quos utendos dedi Philodamo, rettulitne?

Those cups that I lent Philodamus--has he returned ’em?

_Lib._

Non etiam.

Not yet.

_Leon._

Hem non? si velis, da,[11] commoda homini amico.

Hey? No? (_sourly_) Give things away, if you like,--give ’em to a friend on loan.

_Merc._ _Trader_

Perii hercle, iam his me abegerit suo odio.

(_half aside, wearily_) Oh, the devil! The fellow will be driving me off before long with his confounded talk.

_Lib._

Heus iam satis tu. audin quae loquitur?

(_aside to Leonida_) Hi, you! That’s enough now! D’ye hear what he says?

_Leon._

Audio et quiesco.

(_aside to Libanus_) I hear; I’ll calm down.

_Merc._ _Trader_

Tandem, opinor, conticuit. nunc adeam optimum est, prius quam incipit tinnire. quam mox mi operam das?

(_aside_) Silent at last, I do believe. Best approach him now before he begins to rattle on again. (_aloud to Leonida_) How soon can you give me your attention?

_Leon._

Ehem, optume. quam dudum tu advenisti? non hercle te provideram--quaeso ne vitio vortas-- 450 ita iracundia obstitit oculis.

(_looking at him and affecting surprise_) Aha! Splendid! How long have you been here? Well, well, I hadn’t noticed you before! I trust you won’t feel offended. I was so angry that it affected my eyesight.

_Merc._ _Trader_

Non mirum factum est. sed si domi est, Demaenetum volebam.

Nothing strange in that. But I wished to see Demaenetus, if he is at home.

_Leon._

Negat esse intus. verum istuc argentum tamen mihi si vis denumerare, repromittam istoc nomine solutam rem futuram.

He (_indicating Libanus_) says he’s not in. But as to that money, though,--count it out to me, if you like, and then I’ll engage that your account with us is settled.

_Merc._ _Trader_

Sic potius, ut Demaeneto tibi ero praesente reddam.

I should prefer to make the payment in the presence of your master Demaenetus.

_Lib._

Erus istunc novit atque erum hic.

(_protestingly_) Oh, master knows him and he knows master.

_Merc._ _Trader_

Ero huic praesente reddam.

(_firmly_) I shall pay him in his master’s presence.

_Lib._

Da modo meo periculo, rem salvam ego exhibebo; nam si sciat noster senex fidem non esse huic habitam, suscenseat, quoi omnium rerum ipsus semper credit.

Oh now, give it to him, at my risk: I’ll make it all right. Why, if our old man knew Saurea here was doubted, he’d be furious: he always trusts him with everything himself.

_Leon._

Non magni pendo. ne duit, si non volt, sic sine astet. 460

(_very superior_) It’s of no importance. He can keep it, if he wants. Let him stand by with it there.

_Lib._

Da, inquam. vah, formido miser, ne hic me tibi arbitretur suasisse, sibi ne crederes. da, quaeso, ac ne formida: salvom hercle erit.

(_aside to trader_) I say, do give it to him. Oh dear, this is awful! I’m afraid he’ll think I persuaded you not to trust him. Give it to him, for mercy’s sake, and don’t be afraid. Good Lord, it’ll be all right!

_Merc._ _Trader_

Credam fore, dum quidem ipse in manu habebo. peregrinus ego sum, Sauream non novi.

I trust it will be, so long as I keep hold of it myself, anyway. I am a stranger here: I don’t know Saurea.

_Lib._

At nosce sane.

(_pointing to Leonida_) Well, just make his acquaintance, then.

_Merc._ _Trader_

Sit, non sit, non edepol scio. si is est, eum esse oportet. ego certe me incerto scio hoc daturum nemini homini.

Whether he is the man or not, I don’t know, by gad. If he is, he is, of course. I certainly do know that when I am uncertain I give this (_showing a wallet_) to nobody on earth.

_Leon._

Hercle istum di omnes perduint. verbo cave supplicassis. ferox est viginti minas meas tractare sese. nemo accipit aufer te domum, abscede hinc, molestus ne sis.

Be damned to the fellow! (_to Libanus_) Not a word of entreaty, you! He’s puffed up at having the handling of my eighty pounds. (_to trader_) No one will take it! Home with you! Away with you! Don’t bother me!

_Merc._ _Trader_

Nimis iracunde. non decet superbum esse hominem servom. 470

(_scoffingly_) Quite in a pet! The idea of a mere slave being arrogant!

_Leon._

Malo hercle iam magno tuo, ni isti nec recte dicis.

(_to Libanus_) By heaven, you’ll soon pay dear for it, if you don’t abuse him!

_Lib._

Impure, nihili. non vides irasci?

(_loudly to trader_) You dirty thing, you, you good for nothing! (_in lower tone_) Don’t you see he’s angry?

_Leon._

Perge porro.

(_to Libanus_) Go on, get at him!

_Lib._

Flagitum hominis. da, obsecro, argentum huic, ne male loquatur.

(_loudly_) You scandal of a man! (_in lower tone_) Do give him the money, for heaven’s sake, so that he won’t call you bad names.

_Merc._ _Trader_

Malum hercle vobis quaeritis.

Gad! It’s a bad time you two are looking for.

_Leon._

Crura hercle diffringentur, ni istum impudicum percies.

(_to Libanus_) By the Lord, your legs shall be broken to splinters, if you don’t give that shameless rascal a blowing up.

_Lib._

Perii hercle. age impudice, sceleste, non audes mihi scelesto subvenire?

(_to trader in low tone_) Oh Lord! I’m in for it! (_loudly_) Come, you shameless rascal, you wretch, won’t you help me, poor wretch that I am?

_Leon._

Pergin precari pessimo?

(_to Libanus_) Continuing to coax that criminal, are you?

_Merc._ _Trader_

Quae res? tun libero homini male servos loquere?

(_getting indignant_) How is this? You dare to abuse a free man, you, you slave?

_Leon._

Vapula.

You be thrashed!

_Merc._ _Trader_

Id quidem tibi hercle fiet, ut vapules, Demaenetum simulac conspexero hodie.[12] 479

Be thrashed? Precisely what will be done to you, by gad, the moment I set eyes on Demaenetus to-day!

_Leon._

Quid, verbero? ain tu, furcifer? erum nos fugitare censes? 484-485 ei nunciam ad erum, quo vocas, iam dudum quo volebas.

What, you whipping post? So, you gallows-bird? D’ye think we skulk from our master? On with you straight to the master you summon us to, the master you’ve wanted to see this long time past. (_goes toward forum_)

_Merc._ _Trader_

Nunc demum? tamen numquam hinc feres argenti nummum, nisi me dare iusserit Demaenetus.

At last, eh? But never a penny do you get from me, unless I am instructed to give it to you by Demaenetus.

_Leon._

Ita facito, age ambula ergo. tu contumeliam alteri facias, tibi non dicatur? tam ego homo sum quam tu.

All right, all right! Come, step along, then! Do you want to insult another man and not get it back? I’m as much of a man as you are!

_Merc._ _Trader_

Scilicet. ita res est.

No doubt. Quite so.

_Leon._

Sequere hac ergo 490 praefiscini hoc nunc dixerim: nemo etiam me accusavit merito meo, neque me alter est Athenis hodie quisquam, cui credi recte aeque putent.

Come along this way, then. (_stops_) If I may say so without presumption, let me tell you this now: no one has ever yet accused me justly, and there’s not a single other man in all Athens that people think worthy of such confidence as me, either.

_Merc._ _Trader_

Fortassis. sed tamen me numquam hodie induces, ut tibi credam hoc argentum ignoto. lupus est homo homini, non homo, quom qualis sit non novit.

I dare say. But notwithstanding, never will you induce me to-day to trust this money to you, a stranger, (_somewhat apologetically_) “Man is no man, but a wolf, to a stranger.”

_Leon._

Iam nunc secunda mihi facis. scibam huic te capitulo hodie. facturum satis pro iniuria; quamquam ego sum sordidatus, frugi tamen sum, nec potest peculium enumerari.

(_encouraged_) Now there, that’s decent of you! I knew you’d soon be making amends to a good fellow for doing him an injustice. No matter if I do look shabby, I’m an honest man just the same, and as for the cash I’ve laid by--it can’t be counted.

_Merc._ _Trader_

Fortasse.

(_sceptically_) I dare say.

_Leon._

Etiam[13] Periphanes Rhodo mercator dives absente ero solus mihi talentum argenti soli 500 adnumeravit et mihi credidit, nequest deceptus in eo.

Even Periphanes, the rich trader from Rhodes, counted out two hundred pounds to me when master was away and we were all by ourselves,--he trusted me, and he wasn’t deceived in doing so, either.

_Merc._ _Trader_

Fortasse.

I dare say.

_Leon._

Atque etiam tu quoque ipse. si esses percontatus me ex aliis, scio pol crederes nunc quod fers.

Yes, and even you yourself, too, if you had only inquired from others about me, I know you would trust me with what you’ve got there, good Lord, yes!

_Merc._ _Trader_

Haud negassim.

(_icily_) I should be sorry to deny it._ (_motions Leonida to lead the way to Demaenetus_) [EXEUNT THE THREE TO THE FORUM, _Leonida_ IREFUL.

ACTVS III