ACT V
ENTER _Nicobulus_ IN A RAGE, WITHOUT SEEING _Philoxenus_.
_Nic._
Quicumque ubi ubi sunt, qui fuerunt quique futuri sunt posthac stulti, stolidi, fatui, fungi, bardi, blenni, buccones, solus ego omnis longe antideo stultitia et moribus indoctis. perii, pudet: hocine me aetatis ludos bis factum esse indigne? 1090
Of all the silly, stupid, fatuous, fungus-grown, doddering, drivelling dolts anywhere, past or future, I alone am far and away ahead of the whole lot of ’em in silliness and absurd behaviour! Damnation! I’m ashamed! The idea of my being made a fool of twice at my time of life in this outrageous fashion!
magis quam id reputo, tam magis uror quae meus filius turbavit. perditus sum atque eradicatus sum, omnibus exemplis excrucior. omnia me mala consectantur, omnibus exitiis interii.
The more I think it over, the hotter I get at my son’s devilry! I’m ruined, eradicated, tortured every way! Every kind of trouble is upon me: I’ve died every kind of death!
Chrysalus med hodie laceravit, Chrysalus me miserum spoliavit: is me scelus auro usque attondit dolis doctis indoctum, ut lubitumst.
I’ve been mangled to-day by Chrysalus, stripped, poor wretch, by Chrysalus! He has sheared me clean of my gold, the villain, sheared me to suit his taste by his wily arts, artless innocent that I am!
ita miles memorat meretricem esse eam quam ille uxorem esse aiebat, omniaque ut quidque actum est memoravit, eam sibi hunc annum conductam, relicuom id auri factum quod ego ei stultissimus homo promisissem: hoc, hoc est quo cor peracescit:
The Captain tells me that the woman that rascal said was his wife is a courtesan, and he’s given me the full history of the case--how he’d hired her for this year, how the money I’d promised him, like an utter idiot, was the sum due him for the months yet to run. This, this, is what galls me;
hoc est demum quod percrucior, me hoc aetatis ludificari,[30] (1099) cano capite atque alba barba miserum me auro esse emunctum. 1101 perii, hoc servom meum non nauci facere esse ausum! atque ego, si alibi plus perdiderim. minus aegre habeam minusque id mihi damno ducam.
this is the crowning torment--for me to be gulled at my time of life, for me, poor fool, with my hoary hairs and white beard to be cleaned out of my gold! Oh, damnation! My own servant dares to hold me cheaper than dirt in this fashion! Yes, yes, if I lost more money some other way, I should mind it less and regard the loss as less.
_Phil._
Certo hic prope me mihi nescio quis loqui visust; sed quem video? hic quidemst pater Mnesilochi.
It surely seemed as if some one was speaking here near me. (_sees Nicobulus_) But who’s this I see? Mnesilochus’s father, upon my word! (_approaches_)
_Nic._
Euge, socium aerumnae et mei mali video. Philoxene, salve.
(_grimly_) Splendid! I see my partner in toil and woe. Good day to you, Philoxenus.
_Phil._
Et tu. unde agis?
And to you. Where are you coming from?
_Nic._
Unde homo miser atque infortunatus.
Where a wretched, unlucky man should come from.
_Phil._
At pol ego ibi sum, esse ubi miserum hominem decet atque infortunatum.
Gad! but I’m on the very spot where a wretched, unlucky man should be.
_Nic._
Igitur pari fortuna, aetate ut sumus, utimur.
Then we’re alike in luck as we are in years.
_Phil._
Sic est. sed tu, quid tibist?
So it seems. But you--what is your trouble?
_Nic._
Pol mihi par, idem est quod tibi.
Good Lord! The same as yours.
_Phil._
Numquid nam ad filium haec aegritudo attinet? 1110
This dolefulness of yours has something to do with your son, eh?
_Nic._
Admodum.
(_morosely_) Rather!
_Phil._
Idem mihi morbus in pectorest.
The same ailment is worrying me.
_Nic._
At mihi Chrysalus optumus homo perdidit filium, me atque rem omnem meam.
Well, but Chrysalus--that pattern of excellence--has ruined my boy and me and all that’s mine!
_Phil._
Quid tibi ex filio nam, obsecro, aegrest?
What in the world has your son done to vex you, pray?
_Nic._
Scies: id, perit cum tuo: ambo aeque amicas habent.
You shall know: this--he’s going to the dogs along with yours: the both of them alike have mistresses.
_Phil._
Qui scis?
How do you know?
_Nic._
Vidi.
I saw.
_Phil._
Ei mihi, disperii.
(_with apparent conviction_) Oh dear me! Terrible, terrible!
_Nic._
Quid dubitamus pultare atque hue evocare ambos foras?
Why don’t we go straight up and knock; and call them both out here?
_Phil._
Haud moror.
(_lukewarm_) I have no objection.
_Nic._
Heus Bacchis, iube sic actutum aperiri fores, nisi mavoltis fores et postes comminui securibus.
(_pounding on Bacchis’s door_) Hi! Bacchis! Be so good as to have the door opened this instant, unless you prefer to have door and doorposts smashed in with axes!
V. 2.