Part 4

The strongest weapon the rats have against man, ranking even above their wonderfully constructed teeth, are their prodigious multiplying powers, "and," says Richardson, "if the rats were suffered to increase in numbers, unchecked, the time would not be far distant when the entire globe would but suffice to furnish food for their rapacious appetites to the exclusion of the human race." The only way man can hold his own against their mighty ravages and prevent his whole social organization from being undermined by them, is to wage a steady and unrelenting war, by the help of his own arts and the animals specially assigned by nature to do service for him as police, against the most bloodthirsty, cruel, and acute of enemies.

RAT EXTERMINATION.

There are four distinct methods of rat extermination, viz.: 1. Traps. 2. Poisons. 3. Cats, Dogs, and Ferrets. 4. Human Rat-catchers. We will first give some practical hints on

I.--TRAPS.

The rat is by no means one of the least intelligent of quadrupeds, and there is one thing we feel solid about--when he knows you really want to trap him he'll do his level best to avoid your kind intentions. There are shoals of ingenious rat-traps with plenty of mechanism in them which are certainly good as long as you don't plainly advertise them to the rats, which is about equal to saying "Look out, rats, this is a trap for you, with a bait!" After you have put out this charitable notice nary a rodent will you catch. We will now show how most simple people, after catching a lone specimen, give themselves "dead away," to speak classically, to all the rats there are in the neighborhood. Get a trap, no matter of what shape, material or brand--but by all means get one that doesn't let the rat out again after he has been once caught. Bait it with anything nice and tempting, and put it near the rat-hole, just where they come out, any time before you go to bed. In the morning you probably find you have caught a rat--maybe a big, grizzled old fellow with a scabby tail, or else a young one, half frightened to death--anyway it _is_ a rat, and a real live one at that, and you can forthwith proceed to kill him. Now clean your trap and smoke it out. Bait it again with the same care and, hundred to one, you find--_no rat_. The mystery of it is this: The first rat that came out of the hole on the first night saw you had put down something for him, so he sniffed the dainty bait and remarked under his breath that he was a devilish lucky dog and that he had struck a superior sort of a free lunch all to himself. With that he entered--the trap snapped harshly and cruelly, and the nervous little animal became frightened and sought to escape from his seeming abode of luxury. He couldn't get out, squealed long and plaintively, and worked hard against the sides of his prison. Bye and bye all the other rats came out to see the cause of all the racket. After investigating they find their young friend has been dolefully sold, and together make and keep a vow to steer clear of your traps ever afterwards. This is why you catch but one rat and no more; for a much more stupid and less nervous animal than a rat is would keep away from a similar arrangement in the future. We shall now try the experiment over again, but in a different fashion. Suppose we select a big round trap with falling doors at the sides and a hole on top. First be sure that the doors lift up and fall down very easily. If the bottom of the trap is of wire place it on sawdust, so that the rats are comfortable in it. Put the trap _away_ from the hole, near the wall of the cellar, if in winter near the warmest place, always in a dark spot. As our friend likes comfort so much, put a bag over the trap, so that he can find the falling doors easily. Get some rags scented with about fifteen drops of either oil of rhodium, oil of carraway, oil of aniseed, or a mixture of these oils. First tie a string around them and swab them around the rat-holes, then drag them on the ground near the wall, to the place where the rat-trap is and rub the rags well over it, then put them in. Have some nice tempting bait in the trap, either carrots, meat, broiled bacon, or cheese--anything fresh will do--but be careful to put in enough of it. If the trap is placed as we have above directed the rat will get in and not try to escape. _Make the trap as much unlike a trap and as much like a natural hiding-place as possible._ If this is done, it is highly probable you will have your cage chock-full of rats the next morning. It is very seldom this fails, but if it should not succeed the first night proceed as follows: Put the trap exactly as I have told you, with the exception to tie up the sliding doors. Let it stand there until the rats have eaten it out several times, replacing the bait. After the rats get used to frequent the place and think they have a "soft snap" on you, let down your falling doors again and you have them all!

After all is said and done, the most practical of all rat-traps is my little "Special Steel Trap," which catches one rat at a time, but its cost is so reasonable that you can have a dozen of them for the price of one of the big wire ones. It is an utter impossibility for the rats to avoid being caught if the traps are properly placed, and it can, with ease, be so nicely adjusted that the gentlest touch of a rat's paw will insure his immediate capture. And when Mister Rat has put down that little paw of his he is as securely held as if he were nailed to the floor. I have over ten thousand of these traps in use in my professional rat-exterminating operations and sell barrels of them. The larger the space to be covered the more traps are required, and, where it is possible, remove your rat as soon as caught. Place the traps in the natural run of the rats; around swill-barrels, along the walls, etc. Its chief practical beauty is its innocent appearance, as there is nothing about its placid surface which tells the rats of its unerring aim. With every trap we furnish a chain-attachment and fastener; the latter is for the purpose of securing it to the flooring and prevents the rats from dragging the trap. As this Special Steel Trap is a boon to large institutions, ships, shops, factories, stores, hotels, office-buildings, flat-houses, warehouses, private dwellings, slaughter-houses, etc., etc., I quote the following prices on it, which are net:

Per dozen $3.00 Per hundred 20.00

II.--POISONS.

The common rat poisons are Arsenic, Strychnine and Paris-green. These are put up by enterprising people under a multitude of suggestive names, without specifying the kind of poisons used, however, or even a warning of their being poisonous, as the law implicitly directs. There is, indeed, a great deal of criminal negligence in the way these poisons are put upon the market, as in some the proportion of poison is so great that it would kill an elephant--whereas it should be exactly graded to the rat's capacity. The proportion of arsenic in one very-much-advertised rat-poison now in use, as analyzed by Dr. Otto Grothe, a Brooklyn chemist, consists of 98.19 per cent. pure arsenic and 1.81 per cent. admixtures (coal, etc.). Would-be suicides and murderers have made use of these poisons extensively. Poisons in powdery form--such as arsenic and strychnine--are liable, very easily, indeed, to get mixed up with food, and have in that way been a powerful death-dealing agency. Their peculiar effect on the rats is to allow them to get over-doses, causing violent vomiting, followed by complete failure to kill or drive out. The Phosphoric Paste, the "Sure Pop" brand of which is very carefully manufactured by the present writer, is free from all of these objections, as it is in salve form and very hard to be accidentally mixed up with edibles of any kind. It is impossible for the rats to receive overdoses of it; and the phosphorus has the effect of burning and irritating them internally and forcing them to run for fresh air. Arsenic and strychnine rat-poisons are usually prepared in such heavy quantities that the rats prematurely die in the holes. On the other hand, the amount of actual poisonous matter in this "Sure Pop" Phosphoric Paste has been exactly proportioned to the rat's system, making the amount of poison very slight. There is no secret at all in the compounding of this preparation, but it requires much experience and study of the rat's nature, preferences and habits to make it so that it will work with proper effect. The utmost daintiness is also required in the handling of all its ingredients. We have practically shown on page 40 how the smell of phosphorus is the most powerful of attractions known to the rat, and how it will operate when everything else fails.

III.--DOGS, CATS AND FERRETS.

The claims of cats as one of the rat remedies we shall have to dismiss in very short order, as the exceptional cases in which they do good work are altogether too few and far between. The only domestic animal which really possesses value in _hunting_ rats is the ferret, as, by reason of its india-rubber joints, it can pursue its prey home. Any terrier--no matter what variety--having a fair amount of intelligence can be broken in with ferrets, so that your ferret can do the hunting out and the dog--at the proper moment--can do the killing. The fox-terrier is by far the best ratting-terrier. He is quick, understands and remembers what is taught him, is full of ambition, and readily learns to regard the ferrets as his partners in the rat-hunt.

IV.--HUMAN RAT-CATCHERS.

The directions given with each of the remedies advocated by me are so plain that anyone can successfully put them into use. Where the rats have got altogether too thick, or where they hold possession of a place in such a way that there appears no clue to dislodging them, it is quite advisable to call in an expert. To this effect I have perfected a regular system of rat-exterminating in which the remedies I mention in this book are systematically applied--under my own superintendence--by a corps of experts. Through this improved system I am enabled to take contracts to exterminate rats (and also other vermin) from any kind of building in any city or town in the United States, providing the job is large enough. Correspondence on the subject given prompt attention.

THE ORIGIN OF THE FERRET.

WITH HINTS TO DARWIN.

We have stated, in the first chapter of this book, that the verb "ferret" is derived from the animal of the same name, but many _savants_, and even "plain people," as Lincoln said, have cudgeled their brains trying to trace from whence the _animal_ has derived its name. After long and tedious delving into histories and musty tomes having even the slightest bearing on the subject, we are able herewith to enlighten these gentlemen. For this illumination they have long been waiting, we have no doubt, with the utmost anxiety and impatience. This requires us to go at length into the matter, and entails upon us the writing of the ferret's development from prehistoric times until merged into the animal of to-day, with its present shape, instincts, and habits. In the course of the essay we also prove conclusively that the animal originally comes from America. Many scientists will no doubt deem it peculiar to find us using many modern and untechnical terms in the following history, but let them rest assured that if we were to make use of our extensive scientific knowledge of the subject it would compel them to hunt up all the lexicons that had ever been compiled!

In the very good and very old days before our present reckoning, when mankind sported tails and was protected against the wind and weather by a long, hairy covering, and when both animals and man had a language of their own--in those times it was that two fair-sized buck Martens, one of the Beech and the other of the Stone species, stood on the southern point of what is now called Cape Farewell, in Greenland, longitude 30° 30´ east, latitude 60° 2´ north. They trembled violently from excitement, because they had just finished a friendly set-to of 64 rounds, lasting 3 hours 10 minutes, New York time, and which both had so far survived. The referee, an old good-natured fox, saw with his keen off-eye that there was no more fight in either of them, and pronounced the battle a _draw_, telling them to try it again on some future day, whereupon he speedily took his departure, as he was very busy just at that time umpiring base-ball games. The contestants then shook forepaws, a custom which has survived the centuries, and after a little cold water and rest had restored them they mended their broken friendship and made solemn pledges not to try harming each other any more. They further made a bargain to set up a business firm, which meant in those days, as it does now, division of spoils. In the language of that time the Beech Marten was called _Ver_, and his partner, the Stone Marten, _Rect_, therefore the firm was called "The Ver and Rect Bill-of-Fare Improving Co." This title explains part of their object in making the trip described in the following pages. The other agreements were to do it in perfect harmony, and at the end of their pilgrimage to stick forever by that particular diet that had suited them best. They were both very glad of their compact, because each one had formed a high opinion of the other's powers evidenced in the pummeling of one another's ribs. Talking things over leisurely, they found themselves getting hungry, and as their stomach was and is yet the Mainspring of their actions, they resolved to start immediately on the expedition. After they had traveled 48 hours due south-east (a direction which they instinctively followed all through their wanderings) they had the good luck to stumble upon a small but very fat pig, snoring comfortably on the banks of a river, known then as the Atlantic river, but since developed into the ocean of the same name, a further account of which is given further on. Ver and Rect found the stream about the size of our present Hudson as it flows by Weehawken. The partners accordingly killed the pig without much bother, ate it, and took a short nap (for those times) of three days, and after waking they stretched themselves, hopped around, and took a drink from the river, but no sooner had they swallowed a little of the water than they commenced spitting, spluttering, and twisting their faces into all shapes, as the water was very salt and brackish. Eating the very fat pig and drinking the salt water had not agreed with Ver and Rect, and they put down the following on the tablets of their minds for future reference: "Fat pig bad feed--salt water ditto." Hence all their descendants, right up to this day, never indulge in pork or use salt at all.

Ver, who wore spectacles, then took the reckoning, and found they had just traveled 1910 prehistoric miles, quite a distance for those days. The firm resolved lazily to start again, and after yawning a good deal, and lying in the sun a little while longer, they still felt unpleasant fat-pig and salt-water sensations. They paddled across the Atlantic river, and by the time they had arrived on _the other side_ they had no objection to lunching again, and as fortune seemed to favor them, they spied in the distance a very big woodchuck. After an exciting chase, Ver and Rect captured him, and at first devoured him with vim. The poor Martens, however, were doomed to disappointment, for when they had bolted their prize and had taken their usual nap of three days, they woke up with great pains in their much-abused interior departments. They thought the woodchuck business over carefully and made this inward memorandum: "Woodchuck may be very good, but we prefer lead-pipe."

Four days after the feast of the woodchuck, wandering on rather discontentedly, they were suddenly delighted by a wonderful change in the climate, that had previously been harsh and cold, but was now mild and radiant. Birds were singing from beautiful trees, Nanny and Billy goats, and sheep were gamboling about cheerfully. Lions and wolves were doing a thriving business, and, just like the bulls and bears of to-day, were all living on the poor lambs. The Martens wandered about a mile through this happy land, and in course of time, bethinking themselves of their sacred mission, they fell to work on a Billy goat, who was slain, after a hard fight, as an offering to their great god, The Stomach. It is evidenced by our records that this goat must have been a huge animal, for Ver and Rect lived three days on his carcass, although at the end of this time they felt rather sick. The entry in their inward journal was as follows: "Disgusted with Billy goat; hopes of finding our steady feed very gloomy." Rect began to feel discouraged, but Ver cheered him up, saying unto him: "Rec', I have a feeling within my bones which tells me our promised land of Good Feed draws near. Brace up thy suspenders, and let us be of good mien and travail onward, for there is no philosopher on earth of a cheerful temper with his belly unhinged." Verily, after a two days' journey, they observed, to their joy, right on their road, a great mountain overgrown with timber and underbrush. Upon reaching it, they found it full of game of all kinds, some of which they began to attack immediately. Among others they caught a little, delicate gray rabbit, and after critically tasting its flesh, were delighted with its flavor. They thought now they had found a solid bill-of-fare material, and made arrangements for staying in the place by digging themselves comfortable beds under the roots of a big tree. There was such an abundance of these delicious rabbits that Ver and Rect concluded they had enough of a wandering life, and that the mission of the "Bill-of-Fare Improving Co." was fulfilled. They called the land, on account of the great number of these little animals, _Engelland_, meaning the land of the Engels, or angels, at present England. Having kept bachelor's hall for awhile under the big tree, they formed the acquaintance of some of their rich neighbors, who were very kind to them, and whom the Martens found to be relatives of theirs. To Ver and Rect's former pastimes of hunting, eating, drinking (cold water), and sleeping, they now added courting. Ver acquainted himself with a pretty young Miss Weasel, a blonde, and paid her attention, and Rect took fancy to a handsome and stately Miss Mink, a brunette. In two hours after their first courtship--the thing was done quicker in those days--Ver and Rect were married men. They begot children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, who in their turn intermarried into the families of the Sables, the Fitches, and the Ermines, but all the descendants of Ver and Rect went under the name of Ver-Rects, afterwards verrects, until it has been gradually mellowed into our present _ferrets_. The ferrets now lived in the woods of old Engelland, hunting and eating rabbits and enjoying themselves with all their families on this only ingredient of their bill-of-fare, which Ver and Rect thought of making the permanent ferret food by law. Of course the ferrets grew into the most expert of rabbit-hunters, and they have retained this ability to the present day. Never after they had been in Engelland did Ver or Rect or their descendants subsist on pigs, woodchucks, or billy-goats. One morning a great accident happened, which brought them a different kind of food, consisting of a large army of black rats. The way it happened was this: The earth on which we now live, and which swings around at a pretty good gait on its own axle, broke it right near the north pole and all the waters spilled out there. They overflowed the Atlantic river 1500 miles on each side, and thus formed our present Atlantic Ocean. The high mountain of England was just saved from the water, making it an island, and just then 750,000 live rats swam on shore to save themselves from drowning.

The ferrets killed a few of these rats to experiment upon, and were more than delighted with the tender meat, Ver and Rect making the ferret's bill-of-fare for all ages chiefly consist of rabbits and rats. Sometimes the ferrets went rabbit and sometimes rat-hunting, and were as expert in the one as in the other, and so it is that the ferret of to-day occupies itself, by the mandates of its forefathers, Ver and Rect, in the vigorous hunting throughout all lands of the rat and the rabbit. From whence the rats came before they arrived in England will be found in the next chapter.

THE CONTINUATION OF THE FORMER CHAPTER.

Our rats are from China. The proof of this will be found in more particularly observing the rat's looks, vices and nature, the manner in which he carries his (pig)tail, and further, the great love of the Chinaman for him. We contend also that the Chinaman and the rat are relatives, for it can be said of both, as it has been said of one,

"That for ways that are dark, And for tricks that are vain, The heathen Chinee is peculiar."