Chapter 22

CALAIS.

I am now returned to the point from whence I sat out, and rather within the revolution of one year; which, upon the whole, though I met with many untoward circumstances, has been the most interesting and entertaining year of my whole life, and will afford me matter of reflection for the little which remains unfinished of that journey we must all take sooner or later, a journey from whence no traveller returns.--And having said so much of myself, I am sure you will be glad to change the subject from man to beast, especially to such a one as I have now to speak of.

I told you, when I set out, that I had bought a handsome-looking English horse for seven guineas, but a little touched in his wind; I can now inform you, that when I left this town, he was rather thin, and had a sore back and shoulder; both which, by care and caution; were soon healed, and that he is returned fair and fat, and not a hair out of its place, though he drew two grown persons, two children, (one of thirteen the other ten years old) a very heavy French cabriolet, and all our baggage, nay, almost all my goods, chattels, and worldly property whatever, outward and homeward, except between _Cette_ and _Barcelona_, _going_, and _Lyons_ and this town _returning!_ I will point out to you one of his day's work, by which you will be able to judge of his general power of working: At _Perpignan_, I had, to save him, hired post-horses to the first town in Spain, as I thought it might be too much for him to ascend and descend the _Pyrenees_ in one day; beside sixteen miles to the foot of them, on this side, and three to _Jonquire_ on the other; but after the horses were put to, the post-master required me to take two men to _Boulou_, in order to hold the chaise, and to prevent its overturning in crossing the river near the village. Such a flagrant attempt to impose, determined me to take neither horses nor men; and at seven o'clock I set off with _Callee_ (that is my houyhnhnm's name) and arrived in three hours at _Boulou_, a paltry village, but in a situation fit for the palace of AUGUSTUS!

So far from wanting men from _Perpignan_ to conduct my chaise over the river, the whole village were, upon our arrival, in motion after the JOB. We, however, passed it, without any assistance but our own weight to keep the wheels down, and the horse's strength and sturdiness, to drag us through it. In about three hours more we passed over the summit of this great chain of the universe; and in two more, arrived at _Jonquire_: near which village my horse had a little bait of fresh mown hay, the first, and last, he eat in that kingdom. And when I tell you that this faithful, and (for a great part of my journey) only servant I had, never made a _faux pas_, never was so tired, but that upon a pinch, he could have gone a league or two farther; nor ever was ill, lame, physicked, or bled, since he was mine; you will agree, that either he is an uncommon good horse, or that his master is a good groom! Indeed I will say that, however fatigued, wet, hundry, or droughty I was, I never partook of any refreshment till my horse had every comfort the inn could afford. I carried a wooden bowl to give him water, and never passed a brook without asking him to drink.--And, as he has been my faithful servant, I am now his; for he lives under the same roof with me, and does nothing but eat, drink, and sleep.--As he never sees me nor hears my voice, without taking some affectionate notice of me, I ventured to ask him _tenderly_, whether he thought he should be able to draw two of the same party next year to _Rome?_ No tongue could more plainly express his willingness! he answered me, _in French_, indeed, _we-we-we-we-we_, said he; so perhaps he might not be sincere, tho' he never yet deceived me. If, however, he should not go, or should out-live me, which, is very probable, my dying request to you will be, to procure him a peaceful walk for the remainder of his days, within the park-walls of some humane private gentleman; though I flatter myself the following petition will save _you_ that trouble, and _me_ the concern of leaving him without that comfort which his faithful services merit.

_To_ SIR JAMES TYLNEY LONG, _Bart._

_A Faithful Servant's humble Petition_,

SHEWETH,

That your petitioner entered into the service of his present master, at an advanced age, and at a time too, that he laboured under a pulmonic disorder, deemed incurable; yet by gentle exercise, wholesome food, and kind usage, he has been enabled to accompany his master from _Calais_ to _Artois_. _Cambray_, _Rheims_, _St. Dezier_, _Dijon_, _Challons_, _Macon_, _Lyons_, _Pont St. Esprit_, _Pont du Garde_, _Nismes_, _Montpellier_, _Cette_, _Narbonne_, _Perpignan_ the _Pyrenees_ _Barcelona_, _Montserrat_, _Arles_, _Marseilles_, _Toulouse_, _Avignon_, _Aix_, _Valence_, _Paris_, and back to _Calais_, in the course of one year: And that your petitioner has acquitted himself so much to his master's satisfaction, that he has promised to take him next year to _Rome_; and upon his return, to get him a _sine-cure_ place for the remainder of his days; and, as your petitioner can produce a certificate of his honesty, sobriety, steadiness, and obedience to his master; and wishes to throw himself under the protection of a man of fortune, honour and humanity, he is encouraged by his said master to make this his humble prayer to you, who says that to above three hundred letters he has lately written, to ask a small boon for himself, he did not receive above three answers that gave him the pleasure your's did though he had twenty times better pretensions to an hundred and fifty. And as your petitioner has _seen a great deal of the world, as well as his master_, and has always observed, that such men who are kind to their fellow-creatures, are kind also to brutes; permit an humble brute to throw himself at your feet, and to ask upon his return from _Rome_ a _lean-to_ shed, under your park-wall, that he may end his days in his native country, and afford a _repas_, at his death, to the dogs of a Man who feeds the poor, cloaths the naked, and who knows how to make use of the noblest privilege which a large fortune can bestow,--that of softening the calamities of mankind, and making glad the hearts of those who are oppressed with misfortunes.--Your petitioner, therefore, who has never, been upon his _knees before_ to any man living, humbly prays that he may be admitted within your park-pail, and that he may partake of that bounty which you bestow in common to your own servants, who, by age or misfortunes are past their labour; in which request your petitioner's master impowers him to use his name and joint prayer with

CALLEE.

I do hereby certify, that nothing is advanced in the above petition, but what is strictly true, and that if the petitioner had been able to express himself properly, his merits and good qualities would have appeared to much greater advantage, as well as his services; as he has omitted many towns he attended his master to, besides a variety of smaller journies; that he is cautious, wary, spirited, diligent, faithful, and honest; that he is not nice, but eats, with appetite, and good temper, whatever is set before him; and that he is in all respects worthy of that asylum he asks, and which his master laments more on his account than his own, that he cannot give him.

PHILIP THICKNESSE.

_Calais, the 4th of Nov._ 1776.