SCENE III.

ANDREW, PRISCILLA.

AND. Fairest of things, tralucent creature--Hang me, If I do know what's next.

PRIS. This meant to me?

AND. Fairest of things, tralucent creature, rather, Obscured deity--'Tis gone again. Lady, will you eat a piece of gingerbread?

PRIS. You might have better manners, than to scoff One of my breeding.

AND. Hark! Indeed I love you.

PRIS. Alas!

AND. I vow, I burn in love, as doth A penny fagot.

PRIS. Heigho!

AND. And I shall Blaze out, sir reverence, if ye do not quench me.

PRIS. Indeed now?

AND. Though I say't that should not say't, I am affected towards you strangely.

PRIS. Now, Who'd have thought it?

AND. There's a thing each night Comes to my bed's head, and cries, _Matrimony,_ _Matrimony, Andrew_.

PRIS. God forbid!

AND. It is Some spirit that would join us.

PRIS. Goodly, goodly.

AND. Then do I shake all over.

PRIS. Doth it so?

AND. Then shake again.

PRIS. I pray you now.

AND. Then cry, Fairest of things, tralucent creature, rather, Obscured deity, sweet Mistress Jane, I come, I come.

PRIS. Sweet sir, you are deceiv'd; I'm but her woman. Here she comes herself.

_Enter_ MISTRESS JANE.

AND. Now, as my father saith, I would I were A cucumber, if I know what to do.

JANE. Why, how now, Pris.? Who's that that useth you So lovingly?

AND. Fairest of things--'tis one Tralucent creature--'tis--ay, that it is, One----

PRIS. That would willingly run out of doors, If that he had but law enough.

AND. I say----

JANE. Nay, ben't afraid; here's none shall do you harm.

AND. 'Tis one that brought his pigs to the wrong market. You keep your woman here so fine, that I Had like t' have made a proper business on't, Before I was aware. If anything Do prove amiss, indeed, la, you shall be The father on't. But know, tralucent creature, I am come off entire, and now am yours, Whole Andrew Credulous, your servant's servant.

JANE. Methinks you contradict yourself: how can you Be wholly mine, and yet my servant's servant?

AND. I do but compliment in that (I see Downright's the best way here); if thou canst love, I can love too. La, thee there, now! I'm rich.

JANE. I use not to look after riches; 'tis The person that I aim at.

AND. That is me: I'm proper, handsome, fair, clean-limb'd--I'm rich.

JANE. I must have one that can direct and guide me: A guardian rather than a husband; for I'm foolish yet.

AND. Now see the luck on't, lady; So am I too, i' faith.

JANE. And whoe'er hath me, Will find me to be one of those things, which His care must first reform.

AND. Do not doubt that; I have a head for reformation: This noddle here shall do it. I am rich.

JANE. Riches create no love: I fear you mean To take me for formality only; As some staid piece of household stuff, perhaps, Fit to be seen 'mongst other ornaments: Or, at the best, I shall be counted but A name of dignity; not entertain'd For love, but state; one of your train; a thing Took to wipe off suspicion from some fairer, To whom you have vow'd homage.

AND. Do not think I've any plots or projects in my head. I will do anything for thee, that thou Canst name or think on.

PRIS. Pray you try him, mistress. By my virginity, I think he'll flinch.

AND. By my virginity (which is as good As yours, I'm sure)--by my virginity, If that we men have any such thing (as We men have such a thing), I do believe I will not flinch. Alas! you don't know Andrew.

JANE. Can you obtain but so much respite from Your other sovereign's service, as to keep Your eye from gazing on her for awhile?

AND. If I do look on any woman--nay, If I do cast a sheep's eye upon any But your sweet self, may I lose one of mine! Marry, I'll keep the other howsoe'er.

JANE. I know not how I may believe you: you'll Swear you ne'er cast a glance on any, when Your eye hath baited at each face you met.

AND. Blind me, good, now: being you mistrust, I will Be blinded with this handkerchief; you shall See that I love you now. So, let me have But any reasonable thing to lead me home, I do not care, though't be a dog, so that He knows the way, or hath the wit t' inquire it.

JANE. That care, sir, shall be mine. [_Exeunt_ JANE _and_ PRISCILLA.

AND. I doubt not but I shall be in the Chronicle for this, Or in a ballad else. This handkerchief Shall be hung up i' th' parish church, instead Of a great silken flag to fan my grave: With my arms in't, portray'd in good blue thread, With this word underneath--_This, this was he_ _That shut his eyes because he would not see._ Hold, who comes there?

_Enter_ MEANWELL, SHAPE.

MEAN. One, sir, to lead you home.

AND. Who? tutor Meanwell?

[SHAPE _counterfeits_ MISTRESS JANE'S _voice_.

SHAPE. Yes, I do commit you Unto your trusty friend: if you perform This vow, we may----

AND. I'll say your sentence out-- Be man and wife.

SHAPE. If you'll do something else That I'll propose.

AND. Pray make your own conditions.

SHAPE. You'll promise me you'll not be jealous of me?

AND. Do what you will, I'll trust you.

SHAPE. Never hire Any to tempt me?

AND. By this light (I would say, By this darkness), I never will.

SHAPE. Nor mark On whom I laugh?

AND. No.

SHAPE. Nor suspect my smiles, My nods, my winks?

AND. No, no.

SHAPE. Nor yet keep count From any gallant's visit?

AND. I'll ne'er reckon: You shall do what you will.

SHAPE. You'll never set Great chests and forms against my chamber-door; Nor pin my smock unto your shirt a-nights, For fear I should slip from you ere you wake?

AND. As I do hope for day, I will not.

SHAPE. Give me Some small pledge from you to assure your love; If that you yet prove false, I may have something To witness your inconstancy. I'll take This little ruby--this small blushing stone From your fair finger.

AND. Take it, sweet. There is A diamond in my band-string; if you have A mind to that, I pray, make use of't too.

SHAPE. In troth, a stone of lustre. I assure you, It darts a pretty light, a veget spark,[221] It seems an eye upon your breast.

AND. Nay, take it, For love's sake, take it then: leave nothing that Looks like an eye about me.

SHAPE. My good Andrew, 'Cause of thy resolution, I'll perform This office for thee. Take my word for't, this Shall ne'er betray thee. [_Exit_ SHAPE.

AND. Farewell, honest Jany; I cannot see to thank thee, my sweet Jany. Tutor, your hand; good tutor, lead me wisely.

MEAN. Take comfort, man; I have good news for thee: Thine eyes shall be thine own before next morning. [_Exeunt._