SCENE IV.

_To_ HEARSAY _enter_ SLICER _and_ CREDULOUS.

HEAR. Sir, let me tell you, this is not the least Of things wherein your wisdom shows itself, In that you've plac'd your son in this good sort.

CRE. Nay, nay, let me alone to give him breeding: I did not hold the university Fit for the training up of such a spirit.

SLICER. The university! 'T had been the only way T' have took him off his courage and his mettle: He had return'd, as slaves do from the galleys: A naked shorn thing, with a thin-dock'd top, Learnedly cut into a logic mode.

HEAR. A private oath given him at first entrance, Had sworn him pilgrim unto conventicles; Engag'd him to the hate of all, but what Pleaseth the stubborn, froward elect.

SLICER. But we, Following another model, do allow Freedom and courage, cherish and maintain High noble thoughts----

HEAR. Set nature free, and are Chemists of manners----

SLICER. Do instruct of states----

HEAR. And wars. There's one, look on him----

SLICER. Do but view That searching head----

HEAR. The very soul of battle: True steel.

SLICER. H' hath been an agent some few years (A score or so) for princes, and as yet Doth not write forty.

HEAR. I confess I can Discover th' entrails of a state perhaps. Lay open a kingdom's paunches, show the bowels And inwards of a signiory or two; But for your deeds of valour, there is one, Although I speak it to his face, that can Write a geography by his own conquests: H' hath fought o'er Strabo,[126] Ptolemy,[127] and Stafford;[128] Travell'd as far in arms as Lithgow[129] naked; Borne weapons whither Coriat[130] durst not Carry a shirt or shoes. Jack Mandevile[131] Ne'er sail'd so far as he hath steer'd by land, Using his colours both for mast and sail.

CRE. I'd thought h' had been lieutenant.

HEAR. That's all one.

SLICER. I've worn some leather out abroad, let out A heathen soul or two, fed this good sword With, the black blood of pagan Christians, Converted a few infidels with it; But let that pass. That man of peace there hath Been trusted with kings' breasts--

HEAR. His name is heard Like thunder, and that mere word Slicer hath Sufficed unto victory.

SLICER. He's close, Reserv'd, lock'd up. The secrets of the King Of Tartary, of China, and some other Counsels of moment, have been so long kept In's body without vent, that every morning, Before he covers them with some warm thing Or other, you may smell 'em very strongly; Distinguish each of them by several scents--

HEAR. A grove of pikes are rushes to him: hail More frights you than a shower of bullets him--

SLICER. The Dutch come up like broken beer;[132] the Irish Savour of usquebaugh; the Spanish they Smell like unto perfume at first, but then After a while end in a fatal steam--

HEAR. One drum's his table, the other is his music: His sword's his knife; his colours are his napkins; Carves nourishing horse, as he is us'd to do The hostile paynim,[133] or we venison; eats Gunpowder with his meat instead of pepper, Then drinks o'er all his bandoleers, and fights--

SLICER. Secrets are rank'd and order'd in his belly, Just like tobacco-leaves laid in a sweat. Here lies a row of Indian secrets, then Something of's own on them; on that, another Of China counsels, cover'd with a lid Of Newfoundland discoveries: next, a bed Of Russia policies; on them, a lay Of Prester-Johnian whispers--

HEAR. Slights a tempest; Counts lightning but a giving fire, and thunder The loud report when heaven hath discharg'd. H' hath with his breath[134] suppli'd a breach: When he's once fix'd, no engine can remove him.

SLICER. 'Twould be a policy worth hatching to Have him dissected, if 'twere not too cruel. All states would lie as open as his bowels: Turkey in's bloody liver; Italy Be found in's reins; Spain busy in his stomach; Venice would float in's bladder; Holland sail Up and down all his veins; Bavaria lie Close in some little gut, and _ragioni_ _Di Stato_[135] generally reek in all.

CRE. I see my son's too happy: he is born To be some man of action; some engine For th' overthrow of kingdoms.

HEAR. Troth, he may Divert the torrent of the Turkish rule Into some other track: dam up the stream Of that vast headlong monarchy, if that He want not means to compass his intents.

CRE. The Turkish monarchy's a thing too big For him to manage: he may make perhaps The governor of some new little island, And there plant faith and zeal; but for the present, M' ambition's only to contrive a match Between Sir Thomas Bitefig's only daughter And (if I may so call him now) my son: 'Twill raise his fortunes somewhat.

SLICER. We have got One that will do more good with's tongue that way Than that uxorious show'r that came from heaven: But you must oil it first.

CRE. I understand you: Grease him i' th' fist, you mean? There's just ten pieces; 'Tis but an earnest: if he bring 't about, I'll make those ten a hundred.

HEAR. Think it done.

[_Exit_ CREDULOUS, _and enter_ SHAPE _and_ MEANWELL.