SCENE IX.

BEVILONA _and_ TRINCALO; _to them_ RONCA.

RON. Now is the ass expecting of a banquet, Ready to court, embrace, and kiss his mistress. But I'll soon stave him. What ho! [_Knocks at the door._

BEV. Who's that so boldly knocks? I am not within-- Or busy. Why so importunate? who is't?

RON. 'Tis I.

BEV. Your name?

RON. Thomas ap William ap Morgan ap Davy ap Roger, &c.

TRIN. Spinola's camp's broke loose: a troop of soldiers!

BEV. O me! my husband! O me, wretch! 'tis my husband.

TRIN. One man, and wear so many names!

BEV. O sir, H' has more outrageous devils in his rage Than names. As you respect your life, avoid him: Down at that window----

TRIN. 'Tis as high as Paul's; Open the garden door.

BEV. He has the keys. Down at some window, as you love your life, Tender my honour, and your safety.

RON. Bevilona! Down, or I'll break the doors, and with the splinters Beat all thy bones to pieces: down, you whore.

BEV. Be patient but a little; I come instantly.

TRIN. Ha' you no trunk nor chest to hide me?

BEV. None, sir. Alas, I am clean undone! it is my husband.

RON. Doubtless this whore hath some of her companions, That wrong me thus. But if I catch the villain, I'll bathe my hungry sword and sharp revenge In his heart-blood. Come down!

BEV. I cannot. [_To_ TRINCALO.] Stay; There stands an empty hogshead with a false bottom To ope and shut at pleasure; come hither; in, In, as you love your life.

TRIN. But hear you, madam, Is there no looking-glass within't? for I hate glasses As naturally as some do cats or cheese.

BEV. In, in, there's none.

RON. Who now? is the ass pass'd?

BEV. I tunn'd him up, ha, ha, ha! I fear he'll fall aworking.

RON. Second me handsomely, we'll entertain him An hour or two, and laugh, and get his clothes To make our sport up. [_Aside._] Wife, where's the empty hogshead, That wont to stand under the stairs?

BEV. There still.

RON. Out with it quickly: I must have it fill'd.

BEV. Not to-day, good sir; to-morrow will serve as well.

RON. Out with it quickly: I must have it fill'd.

BEV. Not to-day, good sir; to-morrow will serve as well.

RON. I must ha't now.

BEV. 'Tis more than I can carry.

RON. I'll help thee: so, so. Foh! this vessel's musty. Fetch out some water.

BEV. Fetch't out yourself.

TRIN. Pox of all transmutation, I am smother'd. Lady, as you love me, give the hogshead vent, The beer that's in't will work and break the vessel.

BEV. Signior Antonio, as you love your life, Lie still and close, for, if you stir, you die.

RON. So, so; now shake it; so, so.

TRIN. O! I am drown'd! I drown!

RON. When comes this hollow sound?

TRIN. I drown! I smother!

RON. My life, 'tis Trincalo; for I have heard that coxcomb, That ass, that clown, seeks to corrupt my wife, Sending her[325] fruit and dainties from the country. O, that 'twere he! how would I use the villain! First crop his ears, then slit his nose, and geld him. And with a red-hot iron sear his raw wounds; Then barrel him again, and send the eunuch To the great Turk to keep his concubines. Tick, tock, who is within here? [_Knocks on the tub._

BEV. One that you dare not touch.

RON. One that I dare not? [TRINCALO _comes out_.

Out, villain, out--Signior Antonio! Had it been any but yourself, he had died, But, as you sav'd my life, before you went, So now command mine in your services. I would have sworn y' had drown'd in Barbary.

TRIN. 'Twas a hard pass;[326] but not so dangerous As was this vessel. Pray you, conceive no ill; I meant no harm, but call'd of your wife to know How my son Lelio did, and daughter Flavia.

RON. Sir, I believe you.

TRIN. But I must tell you one thing: You must not be so jealous; on my honour, She's very honest.

RON. For you I make no question; But there's a rogue called Trincalo, whom if I catch, I'll teach him.

TRIN. Who? you mean Pandolfo's farmer. Alas, poor fool, he's a stark ass, but harmless. And though she talk with him, 'tis but to laugh, As all the world does at him. Come, be friends At my entreaty.

RON. Sir, for your sake.

BEV. I thank you.

TRIN. Let's have a fire; and, while I dry myself, Provide good wine and meat. I'll dine with you. I must not home thus wet. I am something bold with you.

RON. My house and self are at your service.

TRIN. Lead in. Alas, poor Trincalo, hadst thou been taken, Thou hadst been tunn'd for Turkey. Ha, ha, ha, ha! fair fall Antonio's shape. What a notorious wittol's this! ha, ha, ha! [_Exeunt._

FOOTNOTES:

[310] "_Heirlooms_ are such goods and personal chattels as, contrary to the nature of chattels, shall go by special custom to the heir, along with the inheritance, and not to the executor of the last proprietor. The termination, _loom_, is of Saxon original, in which language it signifies a limb or member of the inheritance."--Blackstone's "Commentaries," ii. 427.

[311] In act i. sc. 7, he says that _it cost two hundred pounds_.

[312] _i.e._, Body.

[313] Properties are whatever little articles are wanted for the actors, according to their respective parts, dresses and scenes excepted. The person who delivers them out is to this day called the _property man_. See Mr Steevens's note to "Midsummer Night's Dream,"