A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Volume 11

SCENE III.

Chapter 231,748 wordsPublic domain

_Enter_ MAID, _like the footboy;_ SELDOM _with_ PITTS _and_ DONNER, _a couple of serjeants_.

MAID. Sir, 'tis most true, and in this shall you be Unlike to other citizens, that arrest To undo gentlemen: your clemency here, Perchance, saves two lives: one from the other's sword, The other from the law's. This morn they fight, And though your debtor be a lord, yet should he Miscarry, certainly your debt were lost.

SEL. Dost thou serve the Lord Proudly?

MAID. Sir, I do.

SEL. Well, such a boy as thou is worth more money Than thy lord owes me. 'Tis not for the debt I do arrest him, but to end this strife, Which both may lose my money and his life.

_Enter_ LORD PROUDLY, _with a riding-rod_.

PROUDLY. My horse there! Zounds! I would not for the world He should alight before me in the field; My name and honour were for ever lost.

SEL. Good morrow to your honour. I do hear Your lordship this fair morning is to fight, And for your honour: did you never see The play where the fat knight, hight Oldcastle, Did tell you truly what his honour was?[126]

PROUDLY. Why, how now, good man flatcap, "what-d'ye-lack?"[127] Whom do you talk to, sirrah?

1ST SER. We arrest you.

PROUDLY. Arrest me, rogue? I am a lord, ye curs, A parliament man.

2D SER. Sir, we arrest you, though.

PROUDLY. At whose suit?

SEL. At mine, sir.

PROUDLY. Why, thou base rogue! did not I set thee up, Having no stock but thy shop and fair wife?[128]

SEL. Into my house with him!

MAID. Away with him! away with him!

PROUDLY. A plot, a trick, by heaven! See, Ingen's footboy: 'Tis by his master's means. O coward slave! I'll put in bail, or pay the debt.

SEL. Ay, ay, ay; we'll talk with you within--thrust him in. [_Exeunt._

_Enter_ INGEN _looking on his sword, and bending it; his brother like a man_.[129]

INGEN. If I miscarry, Frank, I prythee see All my debts paid: about five hundred pounds Will fully satisfy all men;[130] and my land, And what I else possess, by Nature's right And thy descent, Frank, I make freely thine.

BRO. I know you do not think I wish you dead For all the benefit: besides, your spirit's So opposite to counsel to avert Your resolution, that I save my breath, Which would be lost in vain, to expire and spend Upon your foe, if you fall under him.

INGEN. Frank, I protest, you shall do injury Upon my foe, and much disturbance too Unto my soul departing, die I here Fairly, and on my single enemy's sword, If you should not let him go off untouch'd. Now, by the master of thy life and mine, I love thee, boy, beyond any example, As well as thou dost me; but should I go Thy second to the field, as thou dost mine, And if thine enemy kill'd thee like a man, I would desire never to see him more, But he should bear himself off with those wounds He had receiv'd from thee, from that time safe And without persecution by the law; For what hap is our foe's might be our own, And no man's judgment sits in justice' place, But weighing other men's as his own case.

BRO. He has the advantage of you, being a lord; For should you kill him, you are sure to die, And by some lawyer with a golden tongue, That cries for right (ten angels on his side), Your daring meet him call'd presumption: But kill he you, he and his noble friends Have such a golden snaffle for the jaws Of man-devouring Pythagorean law, They'll rein her stubborn chaps ev'n to her tail: And (though she have iron teeth to meaner men), So master her, that, who displeas'd her most, She shall lie under like a tired jade; For small boats on rough seas are quickly lost, But ships ride safe, and cut the waves that tost.

INGEN. Follow what may, I am resolv'd, dear brother. This monster valour, that doth feed on men, Groans in me for my reputation. This charge I give thee, too--if I do die, Never to part from the young boy which late I entertain'd, but love him for my sake. And for my mistress, the Lady Honour, Whom to deceive I have deceiv'd myself, If she be dead, pray God I may give up My life a sacrifice on her brother's sword; But if thou liv'st to see her, gentle brother: If I be slain, tell her I died, because I had transgressed against her worthy love-- This sword is not well-mounted; let's see thine.

_Enter_ MAID, _like a footboy_.

MAID. Your staying, sir, is in vain, for my Lord Proudly, Just at his taking horse to meet you here, At Seldom's suit (the citizen) was arrested Upon an action of two hundred pounds. I saw it, sir; 'tis true.

INGEN. O scurvy lord! It had been a cleanlier shift than this to have had It hinder'd by command, he being a lord. But I will find him.

_Enter_ LORD PROUDLY.

PROUDLY. You see, valiant sir, I have got loose For all your stratagem. O rogue! are you there? [PROUDLY _stabs his sister_.

INGEN. Most ignoble lord! [INGEN _stabs_ PROUDLY _in the left arm_.

PROUDLY. Coward! thou didst this, That I might be disabled for the fight, Or that thou mightst have some excuse to shun me, But 'tis my left arm thou hast lighted on. I have no second: here are three of you. If all do murder me, your consciences Will more than hang you, damn you. Come, prepare!

INGEN. Brother, walk off, and take the boy away. Is he hurt much?

BRO. Nothing, or very little. [PROUDLY _thrusts the boy out_.

INGEN. I'll bind your wound up first: your loss of blood May sooner make you faint.

PROUDLY. Ingen, thou art A worthy gentleman: for this courtesy, Go to, I'll save thy life. Come on, sir! [_A pass or two._ I'll cut your codpiece point, sir, with this thrust, And then down go your breeches.

INGEN. Your lordship's merry. [_Pass._ I had like to have spoil'd your cutwork band.

_Enter_ MAID, _like a footboy, running;_ BROTHER _after her;_ MAID _kneels betwixt them_.

MAID. O master, hold your hand! my lord, hold yours, Or let your swords meet in this wretched breast! Yet you are both well; what blood you have lost, Give it as for the injury you did, And now be friends.

PROUDLY. 'Sheart! 'tis a loving rogue.

INGEN. Kind boy, stand up: 'tis for thy wound he bleeds; My wrong is yet unsatisfied.

PROUDLY. Hence! away! It is a sister's loss that whets my sword.

MAID. O, stay, my lord! behold your sister here. [_Discovers herself._ Bleeding by your hand: servant, see your mistress Turn'd to thy servant, running by thy horse; Whose meaning 'twas[131] to have prevented this, But all in vain.

BRO. O noble lady!

INGEN. Most worthy pattern of all womenkind!

PROUDLY. Ingen, I am satisfied; put up your sword. Sister, you must with me: I have a husband, The Lord Feesimple's father, old, but rich. This gentleman is no match for you: kneel not. That portion of yours I have consum'd! Thus marrying, you shall never come to want.

MAID. O sweet my lord, my brother! do not force me To break my faith, or to a loathed bed.

INGEN. Force you he shall not: brother, bear her hence. She is my wife, and thou shalt find my cause Ten times improv'd now.

PROUDLY. O, have at you, sir. [_Pass._

MAID. Hold, hold, for heaven's sake! was e'er wretched lady Put to this hazard? Sir, let me speak But one word with him, and I'll go with you, And undergo whatever you command.

PROUDLY. Do't quickly, for I love no whispering, 'Tis strange to see you, madam, with a sword! You should have come hither in your lady's clothes.

MAID. Well, as you please, my lord: you are witness, Whatsoe'er before Hath pass'd betwixt us, thus I do undo. Were not I mad to think thou couldst love me, That wouldst have slain my brother.

PROUDLY. Say'st true, sister?

INGEN. O, thou fair creature! wilt thou be as false As other ladies?

MAID. Thou art my example. I'll kiss thee once: farewell for ever. Come, my lord, now Match me, with whom you please--a tumbler. I must do this, else had they fought again.

PROUDLY. Mine own best sister! Farewell, Master Ingen. [_Exeunt_ PROUDLY _and_ MAID.

BRO. O ancient truth! to be denied of no man: An eel by the tail's held surer than a woman. [_Exeunt._

FOOTNOTES:

[113] The second edit. reads, _as your a gentlewoman_, but Bold means that the Widow confessed to him when he was disguised as her gentlewoman. The first edit. warrants this interpretation.

[114] [He refers to the common proverb. See Hazlitt, p. 191-2; and Dodsley, x. 306.]

[115] "O opportunity, thy guilt is great," &c.

--Shakespeare's "Lucrece," [Dyce's edit, 1868, viii. 312.]

[116] [Old copy, _sensitive_.]

[117] [Mating.]

[118] [Old copy, _you and I_.]

[119] The concluding thought of this pretty song has been in request by many poets of all countries: Eustachio Manfredi has carried it to an extreme that would seem merely absurd, but for the grace of the expression of his sonnet, _Il primo albor non appariva ancora_. Appended to "The Fatal Dowry" is "a dialogue between a man and a woman" which commences with it, and which we may therefore assign to Field.

[120] [An allusion to the proverb.]

[121] _Man_ omitted in the second edit.

[122] Flog him.

[123] [Edits., _you_. _Welltried_.]

[124] [Edits., _meant_.]

[125] [These lines appear to be taken from some song of "Little Boy Blue."]

[126] This passage has been adduced by Dr Farmer to show that Falstaff was originally called by Shakespeare _Oldcastle_, according to the tradition mentioned by Rowe, and supported by Fuller in his "Worthies," and by other authorities. The point is argued at great length in Malone's Shakespeare by Boswell, xvi. 410, _et seq._, and the decisions of the learned have been various; but the balance of evidence is undoubtedly in favour of the opinion that Shakespeare made the change, perhaps to avoid the confusion of his very original character with the mere fat buffoon of the old play of "Henry V.," a point not adverted to in the discussion. Field's testimony seems tolerably decisive.

[127] Citizens and apprentices were called in derision _flatcaps_ and _what-d'ye-lacks_ in reference to their dress and occupation.

[128] [Edits., _fair shop and wife_.]

[129] [_i.e._, a servant.]

[130] _Will satisfy all men_, in the second edition.

[131] [Edits., _means it_.]