Chapter 47

_Enter_ PRODIGALITY, MONEY, TOSS, DICER.

PROD. [_to_ MONEY.] Come on, my bulchin;[404] come on, my fat ox:[405] Come, porkling, come on; come, pretty twattox.[406] Why, will it not be? yet faster, a cur'sy![407] This gentleman of late is waxen so pursy, As at every land's-end he seeketh to rest him. How think ye? hath not Tenacity trimly dress'd him?

MON. Prodigality, if thou lovest me, let us here stay: For sure I can do no more than I may. I am out of breath, as weary as a dog. [_He falls down upon his elbow_.

TOSS. A luskish lubber, as fat as a hog!

PROD. Come up, gentle Money; we may not here stay.

MON. I must needs, Prodigality, there is no nay; For if I should stir me one inch from the ground, I think I shall die, sure, or fall in a sound.[408]

PROD. Then must you be drawn.

MON. Drawn or hang'd, all is one: For I cannot stir me; my breath is clean gone.

PROD. How like ye this _grossum corpus_, so mightily grown?

TOSS. I like him the better, that he is your own.

DICER. A more monstrous beast, a beast more unwieldy, Since first I was born, yet[409] never beheld I.

PROD. Indeed, the whoreson is waxen somewhat too fat; But we will find medicines to remedy that.

TOSS. Sir, let me but have him a little in cure, To put my poor practice of physic in ure, And I dare warrant ye, with a purgation or twain, I'll quickly rid him out of all this pain.

PROD. I think a glister were better.

DICER. Nay, rather a suppository.

TOSS. Nay, then, what say you to letting of blood?

DICER. I think that some of these should do him good. Ask the physician.

MON. Prodigality?

PROD. Ho!

MON. I am sick.

PROD. Where, man?

MON. Faith, here, in my belly. It swells, I assure ye, out of all measure.

PROD. Take heed it grow not to a timpany.

MON. And if it do, what is the danger then?

PROD. A consumption.

MON. A consumption? marry, God forbid, man.

TOSS. What think you now of Tenacity? Was he your friend or your foe?

MON. Ah, that wretch Tenacity hath brought me to all this woe. 'Twas he, indeed, that sought to destroy me, In that he would never use or employ[410] me: But, Prodigality, sweet Prodigality, Help to provide some present remedy: Let me not be thus miserably spilt; Ease me of this, and use me as thou wilt. Yet had I rather live in state bare and thin, Than in this monstrous plight that now I am in: So fatty, so foggy, so out of all measure, That in myself I take no kind of pleasure.

PROD. Why, rise up then quickly, and let us be gone.

MON. Friends, you must help me, I cannot rise alone.

DICER. Come on, my sweet Money, we must have a mean To turn this foggy fat to a finer lean.

MON. The sooner the better.

TOSS. Nay, Money, doubt not, but by sweat or by vomit I warrant thee, boy, shortly thou shalt be rid from it.

PROD. Rid, quotha? if shaving, or boxing, or scouring, Or 'nointing, or scraping, or purging, or blood-letting, Or rubbing, or paring, or chafing, or fretting, Or ought else will rid it, he shall want no ridding. [_Aside_. Come on, Money, let's be jogging!

_Exeunt_.