Chapter 29

_Enter_ TENACITY _and_ VANITY [_severally, and not seeing each other at first_.[384]]

TEN. By Gog's bores, these old stumps are stark tired. Chave here roundabout for life conquired, Where any posting nags were to be hired, And can get none, would they were all vired![385] Cham come too late for Money, I hold a penny, Suitors to Fortune there are so many; And all for Money, chill gage a round sum: Money is gone, before Tenacity come. Then am I dress'd even to my utter shame: A fool return'd, like as a fool I came. Cham sure chave come vorty miles and twenty, With all these bags you see and wallets empty: But when chave sued to Vortune vine and dainty, Ich hope to vill them up with money plenty: But here is one, of whom ich will conquire, Whilk way che might attain to my desire. God speed, my zon.

VAN. What, father Crust, whither post you so fast?

TEN. Nay, bur lady, zon, ich can make no haste, Vor che may say to thee, cham tired clean.

VAN. More shame for you, to keep your ass so lean! But whither go you now?

TEN. To a goodly lady, whom they call her Vortune.

VAN. And wherefore?

TEN. For money, zon, but ich vear che come too late.

VAN. Indeed, it seemeth by thy beggar's state, Thou hast need of money; but let me hear, How or by whom think'st thou to get this gear?

TEN. Chill speak her vair, chill make low cursy.

VAN. That's somewhat; but how wilt thou come at her?

TEN. Bur lady, zon, zest true; there lies the matter: Chill make some friend.

VAN. Whom?

TEN. Some man of hers, that near her doth attend.

VAN. Who is that?

TEN. Ich know not; chud that[386] inqueer of thee: And therefore, if thou knowest, tell it me.

VAN. What, in such haste, forsooth, so suddenly: And so good cheap, without reward or fee?

TEN. Poor men, dear zon, must crave of courtesy: Get I once money, thou shalt rewarded be.

VAN. Go to, then, I'll tell thee: his name is Vanity.

TEN. And where is a?

VAN. No more ado: ask but for Vanity. Reward him well, he'll help thee to money.

TEN. But where?

VAN. Why, here in this place: this is Lady Fortune's palace.

TEN. Is this? Ah, goodly Lord, how gay it is! Now hope I sure of money not to miss. So law, my zon, ich will go rest myself a while, And come again. [_Exit_.

VAN. Do so. Now sure this coistrel makes me smile, To see his greedy gaping thus for gain, First hardly got, then kept with harder pain, As you ere long by proof shall see full plain.

TEN. This is mine old inn; here chill knock. Holla, ho!

HOST. What roister have we there, that rappeth so?

POST. How now, sirrah, what lack you?

TEN. Lodging.

POST. Lodging? there is none: all is full.

TEN. How so?

POST. Ta'en up by gentlemen long ago.

TEN. Let me yet have some room for mine ass.

POST. _Asinus super asinum, volitate ad furtas_!

HOST. Who is that thou pratest therewithal?

POST. Look forth and see: a lubber, fat, great and tall, Upon a tired ass, bare, short and small.

HOST. Ho, ho! 'tis Tenacity, my old acquaintance. And to my wife of near alliance. Father Tenacity!

TEN. Mine host, God speed! How do you? Take in, ostler.

OSTLER. Anon, sir.

HOST. Chamberlain, wait upon my kindred here.

CHAM. I will, sir.