Chapter 27

_Enter_ PRODIGALITY, POSTILION, _and_ HOST.

PROD. Postilion, stay, thou drugg'st on like an ass. Lo, here's an inn, which I cannot well pass: Here will we bait, and rest ourselves awhile.

POST. Why, sir, you have to go but six small mile; The way is fair, the moon shines very bright. Best now go on, and then rest for all night.

PROD. Tush, Postil, fair or foul, or far or near, My weary bones must needs be rested here.

POST. 'Tis but a paltry inn, there's no good cheer; Yet shall you pay for all things passing dear.

PROD. I care not for all that: I love mine ease.

POST. Well, sir, a God's name, then do what you please.

PROD. Knock, then, at the gate.

POST. Ho, who's at home? hostler, chamberlain, tapster? Ho! take in gentlemen. Knave, slave, host, hostess, ho! [_Rip, rap, rip, rap_. What, is there none that answers? _Tout a la mort_? Sir, you must make entrance at some other port: For here's no passage.

PROD. No? let me come; I'll knock a little harder. Here must I in; for sure I will no farder. [_Rip, rap, rap, rap_. Ho! who dwells here? [_Rip, rap, rap_]. I'll call on the women another while. Ho! butter-wench, dairy-maid, nurse, laundress, cook, host, hostess, anybody, ho!

HOST. Who's there?

PROD. Up, sir, with a horse night-cap! what, are ye all in a drunken dream! can ye not hear?

POST. Not a word more! he is fast asleep again, I fear. What, ho?

HOST. How now?

PROD. How now? now the devil take thee! Can calling, nor knocking, nor nothing, awake thee?

HOST. Now, sir, what lack ye?

PROD. Lodging.

HOST. What are you?

PROD. Gentlemen. Seest thou not?

HOST. Whence come ye?

PROD. What skills that? open the gate.

HOST. Nay, soft a while, I am not wont so late To take in guests. I like ye not: away.

PROD. Nay, stay awhile, mine host; I pray thee, stay, Open the gate, I pray thee heartily, And what we take we will pay thee royally.

HOST. And would ye have lodging then?

PROD. Yea, rather than my life.

HOST. Then stay a while; I'll first go ask my wife.

PROD. Nay, nay, send her rather to me: If she be a pretty wench, we shall soon agree.

POST. Now a bots[381] on him and his wife both for me! [_Aside_.

HOST. Then you would have lodgings belike, sir?

PROD. Yea, I pray thee come quickly.

HOST. What's your name, and please you?

PROD. Prodigality.

HOST. And will you indeed spend lustily?

PROD. Yea, that I will.

HOST. And take that ye find patiently?

PROD. What else?

HOST. And pay what I ask willingly?

PROD. Yea, all reckonings unreasonably.

HOST. Well, go too; for this once I am content to receive ye: come on, sir, I daresay you are almost weary.

PROP. Thou may'st swear it.

[_Exeunt_.