Chapter 15

THEO. PHIL. EUSE. GIS. PAPHI.

[THEOLOGUS.] God save you, good Philologus; how do you, by God's grace?

PHILOLOGUS. You welcome are, but I, alas! vile wretch, am here evil found.

EUSEBIUS. What is the chiefest cause, tell us, of this your dolorous case?

PHILOLOGUS. O, would my soul were sunk in hell, so body were in ground: That angry God now hath his will, who sought me to confound.

THEOLOGUS. O, say not so, Philologus, for God is gracious, And to forgive the penitent his mercy is plenteous. Do you not know that all the earth with mercy doth abound, And though the sins of all the world upon one man were laid, If he one only spark of grace or mercy once had found, His wickedness could not him harm: wherefore be not dismay'd. Christ's death alone for all your sins a perfect ransom paid: God doth not covet sinner's death, but rather that he may By living still bewail his sins, and so them put away. Consider Peter, who three times his master did deny; Yea, with an oath; and that although Christ did him warning give, With whom before-time he had lived so long familiarly, Of whom so many benefits of love he did receive; Yet when once Peter his own fault did at the last perceive, And did bewail his former crime with salt and bitter tears, Christ by and by did pardon him, the gospel witness bears. The thief likewise and murtherer, which never had done good, But had in mischief spent his days, yea, during all his life, With latest breath when he his sins and wickedness withstood, And with iniquities of flesh his spirit was at strife, Thorough that one motion of his heart and power of true belief, He was received into grace, and all his sins defaced, Christ saying, Soon in paradise with me thou shalt be placed. The hand of God is not abridged, but still he is of might To pardon them that call to him unfeignedly for grace. Again, it is God's property to pardon sinners quite: Pray therefore with thy heart to God here in this open place, And from the very root of heart bewail to him thy case, And, I assure thee, God will on thee his mercy show Through Jesus Christ, who is with him our advocate, you know.

PHILOLOGUS. I have no faith: the words you speak my heart doth not believe. I must confess that I for sin am justly thrown to hell.

EUSEBIUS. His monstrous incredulity my very heart doth grieve. Ah, dear Philologus! I have known by face and visage well A sort of men, which have been vex'd with devils and spirits fell, In far worse state than you are yet, brought into desperation, Yet in the end have been reclaimed by godly exhortation. Such are the mercies of the Lord, he will throw down to hell, And yet call back again from thence, as holy David writes. What should then let you trust in God? I pray you to us tell, Sith to forgive and do us good it chiefly him delights? What, would not you that of your sins he should you clean acquite? How can he once deny to you one thing you do request, Which hath already given to you his best-beloved Christ? Lift up your heart in hope, therefore; awhile be of good cheer, And make access unto his seat of grace by earnest prayer, And God will surely you relieve with grace, stand not in fear.

PHILOLOGUS. I do believe that out from God proceed these comforts fair: So do the devils, yet of their health they alway do despair. They are not written unto me, for I would fain attain The mercy and the love of God, but he doth me disdain. How would you have that man to live, which hath no mouth to eat? No more can I live in my soul, which have no faith at all: And where you say that Peter did of Christ soon pardon get, Who in the selfsame sin with me from God did greatly fall, Why I cannot obtain the same, to you I open shall: God had respect to him always, and did him[57] firmly love, But I, alas! am reprobate; God doth my soul reprove. Moreover, I will say with tongue, whatso you will require: My heart, I feel, with blasphemy and cursing is replete.

THEOLOGUS. Then pray with us, as Christ us taught, we do you all desire.

PHILOLOGUS. To pray with lips unto your God you shall me soon entreat: My spirit to Satan is in thrall; I can it not thence get.

EUSEBIUS. God shall renew your spirit again; pray only as you can, And to assist you in the same we pray each Christian man.

PHILOLOGUS. O God, which dwellest in the heavens, and art our Father dear, Thy holy name throughout the world be ever sanctified, The kingdom of thy word and Spirit upon us rule might bear, Thy will in earth as by thy saints in heaven be ratified; Our daily bread, we thee beseech, O Lord, for us provide; Our sins remit, Lord, unto us, as we each man forgive: Let not temptation us assail; in all evil us relieve. Amen.

THEOLOGUS. The Lord be praised, who hath at length thy spirit mollified. These are not tokens unto us of your reprobation: You mourn with tears, and sue for grace; wherefore be certified, That God in mercy giveth ear unto your supplication. Wherefore despair not thou at all of thy soul's preservation, And say not with a desperate heart, that God against thee is: He will no doubt, these pains once past, receive you into bliss.

PHILOLOGUS. No, no, my friends, you only hear and see the outward part, Which, though you think they have done well, it booteth not at all. My lips have spoke the words indeed; but yet I feel my heart With cursing is replenished, with rancour, spite and gall: Neither do I your Lord and God in heart my Father call, But rather seek his holy name for to blaspheme and curse. My state, therefore, doth not amend, but wax still worse and worse. I am secluded clean from grace, my heart is hardened quite; Wherefore you do your labour lose, and spend your breath in vain.

EUSEBIUS. O, say not so, Philologus, but let your heart be pight Upon the mercies of the Lord, and I you ascertain[58] Remission of your former sins you shall at last obtain. God hath it said (who cannot lie): at whatsoever time A sinner shall from heart repent, I will remit his crime.

PHILOLOGUS. You cannot say so much to me, as herein I do know, That by the mercies of the Lord all sins are done away, And unto them that have true faith abundantly it flow; But whence do this true faith proceed to us, I do you pray? It is the only gift of God, from him it comes alway; I would, therefore, he would vouchsafe one spark of faith to plant Within my breast: then of his grace I know I should not want. But it as easily may be done, as you may with one spoon At once take up the water clean, which in the seas abide; And at one draught then drink it up: this shall ye do as soon, As to my breast of true belief one sparkle shall betide. Tush! you which are in prosperous state, and my pains have not tried, Do think it but an easy thing a sinner to repent Him of his sins, and by true faith damnation to prevent. The healthful need not physic's art, and ye, which are all hale, Can give good counsel to the sick their sickness to eschew; But here, alas! confusion and hell doth me assail, And that all grace from me is reft, I find it to be true. My heart is steel, so that no faith can from the same ensue. I can conceive no hope at all of pardon or of grace, But out, alas! Confusion is alway before my face. And certainly, even at this[59] time, I do most plainly see The devils to be about me round, which make great preparation, And keep a stir here in this place which only is for me: Neither do I conceive these things by vain imagination, But even as truly as mine eyes behold your shape and fashion. Wherefore, desired Death, despatch; my body bring to rest, Though that my soul in furious flames of fire be suppress'd.

THEOLOGUS. Your mind corrupted doth present to you this false illusion; But turn awhile unto the spirit of truth in your distress, And it shall cast out from your eyes all horror and confusion, And of this your affliction it will you soon redress.

EUSEBIUS. We have good hope, Philologus, of your salvation, doubtless.

PHILOLOGUS. What your hope is concerning me, I utterly contemn: My Conscience, which for thousands stand, as guilty me condemn.

EUSEBIUS. When did this horror first you take? what, think you, is the cause?

PHILOLOGUS. Even shortly after I did make mine open abjuration, For that I did prefer my goods before God's holy laws. Therefore in wrath he did me send this horrible vexation, And hath me wounded in the soul with grievous tribulation, That I may be a president, in whom all men may view Those torments which to them, that will forsake the Lord, are due.

THEOLOGUS. Yet let me boldly ask one thing of you without offence: What was your former faith in Christ, which you before did hold? For it is said of holy Paul, in these same words in sense: It cannot be that utterly in faith he should be cold, Whoso he be, which perfectly true faith in heart once hold. Wherefore rehearse in short discourse the sum of your belief, In those points chiefly, which for health of soul are thought most chief.

PHILOLOGUS. I did believe in heart that Christ was that true sacrifice, Which did appease the Father's wrath, and that by him alone We were made just and sanctified: I did believe, likewise, That without him heaven to attain sufficient means were none. But to reknowledge this again alas! all grace was gone: I never loved him again with right and sincere heart, Neither was thankful for the same, as was each good man's part. But rather took the faith of Christ for liberty to sin, And did abuse his graces great to further carnal lust. What wickedness I did commit, I cared not a pin; For that[60] Christ discharged had my ransom, I did trust: Wherefore the Lord doth now correct the same with torments just. My sons, my sons, I speak to you: my counsel ponder well, And practise that in deeds which I in words shall to you tell. I speak not this, that I would ought the gospel derogate, Which is most true in every part, I must it needs confess; But this I say, that of vain faith alone you should not prate, But also by your holy life you should your faith express: Believe me, sirs, for by good proof these things I do express. Peruse the writing of St James, and first of Peter too, Which all God's people holiness of life exhort unto. By sundry reasons--as for, first, because we strangers are; Again, sin from the flesh proceed, but we are of the spirit; The third, because the flesh alway against the spirit do war; The fourth, that we may stop the mouths of such as would backbite; The fifth, that other by our lives to God reduce we might: Again, they sing a pleasant song, which sing in deed and word, But where evil life ensue good words, there is a foul discord. But I, alas! most wretched wight, whereas I did presume That I had got a perfect faith, did holy life disdain: And though I did to other preach good life, I did consume, My life in wickedness and sin, in sport and pleasures vain. No, neither did I once contend from them flesh to refrain. Behold, therefore, the judgments just of God doth me annoy, Not for amendment of my life, but me for to destroy.

EUSEBIUS. We do not altogether like of this your exhortation. Whereas you warn us not to trust so much unto our faith, But that good works we should prepare unto our preservation: There are two kinds of righteousness, as Paul to Romans saith; The one dependeth of good works, the other hangs of faith. The former, which the world allows, God counts it least of twain, As by good proof it shall to you in words be proved plain, For Socrates and Cato both did purchase great renown, And Aristides, surnamed Just, this righteousness fulfilled, Wherefore he was as justest man expell'd his native town; Yet are their souls with infidels in hell for ever spilled, Because they sought not righteousness that way that God them willed. The other righteousness comes from faith, which God regards alone, And makes us seem immaculate before his heavenly throne. Wherefore there is no cause you should send us to outward act, As to the anchor or refuge of our preservation.

THEOLOGUS. The meaning of Philologus is not here so exact, As do his words make it to seem by your allegation. He doth not mean between good works and faith to make relation, As though works were equivalent salvation to attain, As is true faith; but what he meant, I will set down more plain. He did exhort the young men here by him for to beware, Lest, as he did, so they, abuse God's gospel pure, And without good advice usurp of faith the gift so rare: Whereby they think, whatso they do, themselves from torments free, And by this proud presumption God's anger should procure: And where they boast and vaunt themselves good faithful men to be, Yet in their lives they do deny their faith in each degree. Wherefore he saith, as Peter said: see that you do make known Your own election by your works. Again St James doth say, Show me thy faith, and by my works my faith shall thee be shown. And whereupon his own offence he doth to them bewray, Whereas he did vaingloriously upon a dead faith stay; Which for the inward righteousness he alway did suspect, And hereupon all godliness of life he did neglect.

PHILOLOGUS. That was the meaning of my words, however I them spake: The truth, alas! vile wretch, my soul and Conscience too true feel.

THEOLOGUS. What, do you not, Philologus, with us no comfort take, When all these things so godlily to you I do reveal. Especially sith that yourself in them are seen so well? Some hope unto us of your health and safety yet is left: We do not think that all God's grace from you is wholly reft.

PHILOLOGUS. Alas! what comfort can betide unto a damned wretch? Whatso I hear, see, feel, taste, speak, is turned all to woe.

EUSEBIUS. Ah, dear Philologus! think not that ought can God's grace outreach. Consider David which did sin in lust and murther too; Yet was he pardoned of his sins, and so shalt thou also.

PHILOLOGUS. King David always was elect, but I am reprobate, And therefore I can find small ease by weighing his estate. He also prayed unto God which I shall never do: His prayer was that God would not his spirit take away; But it is gone from me long since, and shall be given no mo. But what became of Cain, of Cam, of Saul, I do you pray? Of Judas, and Barehu?--these must my Conscience slay-- Of Julian Apostate, with other of that crew? The same torments must I abide, which these men did ensue.

THEOLOGUS. Alas! my friend, take in good part the chastisement of the Lord, Who doth correct you in this world, that in the life to come He might you save, for of the like the Scripture bears record.

PHILOLOGUS. That is not God's intent with me, though it be so with some, Who after body's punishment have into favour come: But I, alas! in spirit and soul these grievous torments bear: God hath condemned my conscience to perpetual grief and fear. I would most gladly choose to live a thousand thousand year. In all the torments and the grief that damned souls sustain; So that at length I might have ease, it would me greatly cheer: But I, alas! shall in this life in torments still remain, While God's just anger upon me shall be revealed plain, And I example made to all of God's just indignation. O, that my body were at rest, and soul in condemnation!

EUSEBIUS. I pray you, answer me herein: where you by deep despair Say you are worse here in this life, than if you were in hell; And for because to have death come you alway make your prayer, As though your soul and body both in torments great did dwell, If that a man should give to you a sword, I pray you tell, Would you destroy yourself therewith, as do the desperate, Which hang or kill, or into floods themselves precipitate?

PHILOLOGUS. Give me a sword; then shall you know what is in mine intent.

EUSEBIUS. Not so, my friend; I only ask what herein were your will?

PHILOLOGUS. I cannot, neither will I tell, whereto I would be bent.

THEOLOGUS. These words do nothing edify, but rather fancies fill, Which we would gladly, if we could, endeavour for to kill. Wherefore I once again request, together let us pray, And so we will leave you to God, and send you hence away.

PHILOLOGUS. I cannot pray; my spirit is dead, no faith in me remain.

THEOLOGUS. Do as you can; no more than might we can ask at your hand.

PHILOLOGUS, My prayer[61] turned is to sin; for God doth it disdain.

EUSEBIUS. It is the Falsehood of the Spirit, which do your health withstand, That teach you this: wherefore in time reject his filthy band.

THEOLOGUS. Come, kneel by me, and let us pray the Lord of Heaven unto.

PHILOLOGUS. With as good will as did the devil out of the deaf man go. [_Aside_. O God, which dwellest in the heavens, &c. Tush! sirs, you do your labours lose: see, where Belzabub doth come, And doth invite me to a feast: you therefore speak in vain. Yea, if you ask ought more of me, in answer I will be dumb: I will not waste my tongue for nought; as soon shall one small grain Of mustard-seed fill all the world, as I true faith attain.

THEOLOGUS. We will no longer stay you now, but let you hence depart.

EUSEBIUS. Yet will we pray continually that God would you convert.

THEOLOGUS. Gisbertus and Paphinitius, conduct him to his place; But see he have good company: let him not be alone.

AMBO. We shall so do: God us assist with his most holy grace!

GISBERTUS. Come, father, do you not think good that we from hence be gone?

PHILOLOGUS. Let go my hands at liberty: assistance I crave none. O, that I had a sword awhile! I should soon eased be.

AMBO. Alas! dear father, what do you?

EUSEBIUS. His will we may now see.

[_Exeunt_ Philologus, Gisbertus, Paphinitius.

THEOLOGUS. O glorious God, how wonderful those judgments are of thine: Thou dost behold the secret heart; nought doth thy eyes beguile. O, what occasion is us given to fear thy might divine, And from our hearts to hate and loathe iniquities so vile, Lest for the same thou in thy wrath dost grace from us exile. The outward man doth thee not please, nor yet the mind alone, But thou requirest both of us, or else regardest none.

EUSEBIUS. Here may the worldlings have a glass, their states for to behold, And learn in time for to escape the judgments of the Lord; Whilst they by flattering of themselves, of faith both dead and cold, Do sell their souls to wickedness, of all good men abhorr'd: But godliness doth not depend in knowing of the word; But in fulfilling of the same, as in this man we see, Who though he did to others preach, his life did not agree.

THEOLOGUS. Again, Philologus witnesseth which is the truth of Christ, For that consenting to the Pope he did the Lord abjure, Whereby he teach the wavering faith on which side to persist: And those which have the truth of God, that still they may endure. The tyrants which delight in blood he likewise doth assure, In whose affairs they spend their time--but let us homeward go.

EUSEBIUS. I am content that after meat we may resort him to.

[_Exeunt_ THEOLOGUS _and_ EUSEBIUS.