Book iii., l. 833--

"The drede of lesing makith him, that he May in no parfite _sikernesse_ ybe."

THE TRIAL OF TREASURE

_EDITION._

_A New and Mery Enterlude called the Triall of Treasure, newly set foorth, and neuer before this tyme imprinted._

THE NAMES OF THE PLAYERS.

First, STURDINESS, CONTENTATION, VISITATION, TIME.

The Second, LUST, SAPIENCE, CONSOLATION.

The Third, the PREFACE, JUST, PLEASURE, GREEDY-GUT.

The Fourth, ELATION; TRUST, a Woman; and TREASURE, a Woman.

The Fifth, INCLINATION, the Vice.

* * * * *

Imprinted at Londǒ in Paules Churcheyarde, at the signe of the Lucrece, by Thomas Purfoote. 1567. 4º. Black letter.

MR HALLIWELL'S PREFACE.[314]

The interlude, presented to the modern reader for the first time in the following pages, was printed from a copy formerly in the possession of Steevens, the eminent Shakspearian critic, before it was noticed that a copy in the British Museum contained several variations and superior readings.[315] These were the more important, settling in some places the distribution of the speeches with greater accuracy than they were arranged in the exemplar we used. Perhaps, indeed, this may in some measure have arisen from the one last mentioned having been what booksellers technically term "cropped," but we have noticed all variations of importance in the notes, and some of them seem incompatible with any supposition, except that there were two different impressions in the same year,[316] or that the Museum copy had been corrected while the work was in the press.

Mr Collier conjectures that the "Trial of Treasure" was written some years before it was printed, but subsequently to the composition of "Lusty Juventus," which is, he says, "mentioned in it." But it appears to me that the allusion to "Lusty Juventus" [p. 263], is merely a generic proverbial title, and has no reference whatever to the old play so called. Mr Collier ("Hist. Dram. Poet." ii., 330), has given a brief analysis of the interlude now reprinted.

_December_ 21, 1849.

FOOTNOTES:

[314] [To the former edition. Printed for the Percy Society, 1849.]

[315] These have all been adopted in the present reprint. The _variations_ exhibited in the Percy Society's text should be rather called mistakes of the transcriber, and two whole lines were omitted.

[316] The Museum copy has a woodcut on the back of the title-page, which is wanting in the other copy, a circumstance which appears to confirm this opinion.

THE TRIAL OF TREASURE.

_Do all things to edify the Congregation._

Diogenes, which used a barrel for his house, Being fled from his father to the city of Athens, Comforted himself much in beholding the mouse, Which desired neither castle nor hold for her defence; Concerning sustentation she made no difference, But ate whatsoever to her did befall, And, touching her apparel, she had least care of all; This poor mouse's property noted Diogenes, Which oftentimes also he would have in sight, And though he were disciple unto Antisthenes, Yet he learned of the mouse as much as he might; In the science of 'sophy he had great delight, But concerning his state and outward condition, The most can declare, if you make inquisition. On a time he chanced accompanied to be With Alexander, which stood between him and the sun: What requirest thou to have, Diogenes (quod he)? Is there any thing that by me may be done? I pray thee stand aside, and make a little room (Quod Diogenes), that the sun upon me may shine, Nought else require I of that that is thine. He used to say, that as servants be obedient To their bodily masters, being in subjection, Even so evil men, that are not content, Are subjects and slaves to their lusts and affection; This lesson unto us may be a direction Which way our inclination to bridle and subdue, Namely, if we labour the same to eschew. Thus see you how little this philosopher esteemed The abundant possessions of this mundane treasure, Which yet, notwithstanding, at these days is deemed To be the original and fountain of pleasure; This causeth lust to reign without measure, To the which men are subjects, Diogenes doth say, Yet both lust and treasure in time weareth away. A philosopher is he that wisdom doth love, Which before Pythagoras wise men were named. Now, Diogenes being wise, this doth approve That some men of this age ought as fools to be blamed. For where the one with treasure-lack his life framed, The other travail, care, and labour with greediness The same by all means to enjoy and possess. As lust with the lusts converteth to dust, And leaveth of force his pleasant prosperity, So treasure in time is turned to rust, As St James, in his epistle, showeth the verity; Hereof we purpose to speak without temerity, Therefore our matter is named the _Trial of Treasure_, Which time doth expel with all mundane pleasure. Both merry and short we purpose to be, And therefore require your pardon and patience; We trust in our matter nothing you shall see, That to the godly may give any offence; Though the style be barbarous, not fined with eloquence, Yet our author desireth your gentle acceptation, And we the players likewise with all humiliation.

* * * * *

_Enter_ LUST, _like a gallant, singing this song_.

_Heigho, care away, let the world pass, For I am as lusty as ever I was; In flowers I flourish as blossoms in May, Heigho, care away; heigho, care away!_

LUST. What the devil ailed me to sing thus? I cry you mercy, by my faith, for ent'ring: Most like I have ridden on the flying Pegasus, Or in Cock Lorel's barge I have been a vent'ring. Sing? why, I would sing, if it were to do again, With Orpheus and Amphion I went to school: What! lads must be lively attending on the train Of Lady Delectation, which is no small fool. Hey rouse, fill all the pots in the house; Tush, man, in good fellowship let us be merry. Look up like a man, or it is not worth a louse; Heigho, troly; hey, dery, dery, Ha, pleasant Youth and lusty Juventus, In faith, it is good to be merry this May: For of man's living here there is no point endentus,[317] Therefore a little mirth is worth much sorrow, some say.

_Enter_ JUST.

But remember ye not the wise man's sentence? It is better in the house of mourning to be Than in the house of laughter, where folly hath residence, For lightness with wisdom cannot agree; Though many have pleasure in foolish phantasy, Ensuing[318] their inclination and lust, Yet much better is the life of one that is just.

LUST. Sir, in this you seem against me to inveigh.

JUST. Nothing but reason, I think, I do say.

LUST. Marry, you shall have a nightcap for making the reason. Friend, have you not a piece of stock-fish to sell? I would you had a dish of buttered peason. By my faith, your communication likes me well, But, I beseech you, tell me, is not your name Just?

JUST. Yes, forsooth.

LUST. And my name, thou shalt understand, is Lust, And according thereto I am lusty indeed; But, I think, thou hast drunk of Morpheus seed. Thou goest like a dromedary, dreamy and drowsy; I hold twenty pound the knave is lousy!

JUST. Mine apparel is not like unto thine, Disguised and jagged, of sundry fashion; Howbeit, it is not gold always that doth shine, But corrupting copper of small valuation; Too horrible besides is thy operation, Nothing more odious unto the just, Than the beastly desires of inordinate lust.

LUST. It is a shameful thing, as Cicero doth say, That a man his own acts should praise and commend; Hypocrites accustom the like, day by day, Checking other men, when they do offend.

JUST. Yea, but it is an hard thing, saith the philosopher, For a foolish man to have his manners reprehended; And even at this day it is come so far, God grant, for his mercy, it may be amended! For tell a man friendly now of his fault, Being blasphemy, pride, or vile fornication, He will be as presumptuous as Haman the halt, And repay with revenge or else defamation: Thus few men a friendly monition will bear, But stoutly persist and maintain their ill; And in noblemen's houses truly I do fear, There are too many have such forward will.

LUST. Wounds and hearts,[319] who can abide this? Nay, ye vile villain, I will dress you therefore; Your lazy bones I pretend[320] so to bless, That you shall have small lust to prate any more.

JUST. Behold the image of incipient fools! There['re] not a few even now of thy property; Until you be put into poverty's schools Ye will not forsake this foolish insolency.

LUST. Nay, soft, with thee I have not made an end. [_Draw out his sword._

JUST. The just against lust must always contend, Therefore I propose to wrestle with thee [_put it up_], Who shall have the victory, straightway we shall see.

LUST. When thou wilt; by his flesh, I shall hold the wag. [_Wrestle, and let_ LUST _seem to have the better at the first_.

JUST. I know that Lust useth not little to brag.

LUST. Thou shalt find me as mighty as Samson the strong.

JUST. Yea, the battle of lust endureth long.

LUST. Wounds and flesh! I was almost down on my back; But yet I will wrestle, till my bones crack. [_Stay, and then speak._

JUST. The end of thy presumption now doth appear.

LUST. Yet do what thou canst, I will not lie here; No, by his wounds, you old doting knave! [_Cast him, and let him arise again._

Thinkest thou that Lust will be made a slave? I shall meet you in Smithfield, or else other-where, By his flesh and blood, I will thee not forbear!

JUST. Not of my power I do thee expel, But by the might of his spirit that dwelleth in me: Inordinate lust with the just may not dwell, And therefore may not I accompany thee.

LUST. Well, goodman Just, it is no matter, But, in faith, I pretend not with thee to flatter; Though from thy company depart I must, I shall live as much in wealthiness, I trust. [_Go out. He must drive him out._

JUST. Where most wealth is, and most delectation, There Lust is commonly of most estimation; For whereas wealth wanteth, idleness doth slake, For where idleness is, Lust parteth the stake. [_Pause._ Thus have you seen the conflict of the just, Which all good men ought to use and frequent; For horrible are the fruits of inordinate lust, Which in some case resembleth Hydra the serpent, Whose head being cut off, another riseth incontinent: So, one of Lust's cogitations being cut away, There riseth up another, yea, many, we may say. It is requisite therefore that every degree Against this his lust both strive and contend; And though, at the first, he seem sturdy to be, The Lord will convince[321] him for you in the end. Your cause unto him therefore wholly commend, Labouring to avoid all inordinate lust, And to practice in life to live after the Just. [_Go out. Enter Inclination, the Vice._

INC. I can remember since Noe's ship Was made, and builded on Salisbury Plain; The same year the weathercock of Paul's caught the pip. So that Bow-bell was like much woe to sustain. I can remember, I am so old, Since Paradise gates were watched by night; And when that Vulcanus was made a cuckold, Among the great gods I appeared in sight. Nay, for all you smiling, I tell you true. No, no, ye will not know me now; The mighty on the earth I do subdue. Tush, if you will give me leave, I'll tell ye how; Now, in good faith, I care not greatly, Although I declare my daily increase; But then these gentlewomen will be angry, Therefore I think best to hold my peace: Nay, I beseech you, let the matter stay, For I would not for twenty pounds come in their hands; For if there should chance to be but one Dalila, By the mass, they would bind me in Samson's bands! But what, mean I first with them to begin, Seeing that in all men I do remain? Because that first I remained Eve within, And after her Adam, and so forth to Cain. I perceive by your looks my name ye would know; Why, you are not ignorant of that, I dare say; It is I that do guide the bent of your bow, And ruleth your actions also day by day; Forsooth, I am called Natural Inclination, Which bred in old Adam's fostred bones; So that I am proper to his generation, I will not away with casting of stones! I make the stoutest to bow and bend: Again, when I lust, I make men stand upright; From the lowest to the highest I do ascend, Drawing them to things of natural might.

_Enter_ LUST _and_ STURDINESS, _singing this song_.

_Where is the knave that so did rave? O, that we could him find, We would him make for fear to quake, That lout of lobbish kind. My name is Lust, and let him trust That I will have redress; For thou and I will make him fly, Mine old friend Sturdiness._

LUST. Where is now that valiant Hercules? For all his brags, he is now run away.

STURD. (_braggingly._) By the guts of Goliah, it is best for his ease, For he was like for the pottage to pay.

INC. Cock's soul! what bragging knaves have we here? Come ye to convince the mightiest conqueror? It was I, that before you now doth appear, Which brought to confusion both Hector and Alexander: Look on this leg, ye prating slaves, I remember since it was no greater than a tree; At that time I had a couple of knaves, Much like unto you, that waited on me.

LUST. Cock's precious soul, let us conquer the knave.

STURD. By his flesh and sides, a good courage I have; Stand you, therefore, a little aside, And ye shall see me quickly abate the fool's pride. [_Draw out the sword; make him put it up; and then strike him. Look in your spectacles._

INC. Nay, I dare not, I, if thou lookest so big; What, should such a boar fight with a pig! Put up thy sword, man, we will agree; So, lo! do so much as bear that for me.

STURD. Nay, by his heart then, I will you dress.

INC. Be good in thine office, gentle friend Sturdiness; For though thou and I do seem to contend, Yet we are, and must be, friends till the end.

STURD. Come, give me thy hand, I beshrew thy heart.

INC. Nay, you must take all things in good part; Who standeth yonder? Captain Lust?

STURD. Yea, marry.

INC. No remedy then, to him go I must. You have forgot, I dare say, your old friend Inclination; But let us renew acquaintance again, for Cock's passion!

LUST. Why, man, our acquaintance hath been of old; I am yours at commandment, therefore be bold; For Lust can do nothing without Inclination, Chiefly in matters concerning a pleasant vocation.

INC. Indeed Lust may be taken for a thing indifferent, Except Inclination be joined thereunto; But when that I once have revealed my intent, As I will men to work, so commonly they do.

LUST. Ye have heard of the combat between me and Just?

INC. Yea, marry, I heard say that you lay in the dust.

LUST. What say ye?

INC. Neither one word nor other, ye may me trust.

LUST. Of mine honesty, my company he utterly refused, And in wrestling with me he gave me the foil, Saying that I had myself and other abused, Leading men in perplexity and marvellous toil.

STURD. By Gog's wounds, if we had found him here, We should, by his flesh, have abated his cheer.

INC. I perceive, Sturdiness, thou art no fool; Tell me of fellowship, where wentest thou to school?

STURD. What, to read or write?

INC. Nay, to swear and fight: For I think thou canst neither write, read, nor spell; But in swearing and fighting thou dost excel.

STURD. Thou knowest that I am joined with Lust, And sturdy by nature I am in like case. What, let the world wag: all cannot be just, Some must natural inclination embrace.

LUST. All men just? no, I remember the sentence of Tully, That no man is just that feared death, poverty, or pain, Which I do fear all, and that marvellously; For fortune is variable, I do perceive plain, And notwithstanding that Felix possessed great gain, Yet when Paul preached of the judgment-day, He trembled for fear, and bad him go away.

INC. Doth such passions often trouble your mind?

LUST. Nay, not often, but sometime I do them find; But then, to the intent to drive them away, I either go to sleep, or else to some play.

STURD. By Gog's precious heart, even so do I; But sometime they cumber me pestilently.

INC. Well, Master Lust, such dumps to eschew, My advice and request you must needs ensue: That is, to become disciple to doctor Epicurus, And then you shall have mirth by measure and overplus; Tush, I know a couple companions in store That were marvellous meet for you evermore; I wish you were known, you, unto them.

LUST. Well, then, call them in.

INC. Here they come, each of them in a knave's skin.

_Enter_ ELATION _and_ GREEDY-GUT. _They sing._

_With lust to live is our delight, In high estate and dignity; Seeing that the Just put us to flight, Let them alone in misery._

STURD. Nay, they be lusty lads, I tell ye.

ELA. What, Inclination! me-thought I did smell thee: Give me thy hand, ere we further go.

INC. Now, welcome in faith, and Greedy-gut also; But, sirs, are none of you both acquainted with Lust?

LUST. Yes, that they have been both of them, I trust; Welcome, sirs, in faith, welcome unto me.

ELA. By my troth, I am glad your mastership to see In health and prosperity, as presently you be.

GRE. Bom fay, zo am I wod all my heart.

INC. This cow-bellied knave doth come from the cart; Ise teach you to speak, I hold you a pound! Curchy, lob, curchy down to the ground.

GRE. Che can make curchy well enou'.

INC. Lower, old knave, or I'll make ye to bow The great-bellied lout methink cannot bend Yes, so, lo, he beginneth to amend.

LUST. Well, sirs, now I remember Æsop's advice, Which he gave to the Samies[322] against king Croesus;[323] Therefore it is good to be witty and wise, And being in liberty to keep me still thus, I cannot abide a life that is dolorous, And seeing that my name is properly Lust, I hate the conversation of the just.

INC. Well, Master Lust, first join you to me, Inclination. Next here with Sturdiness you must you acquaint; Turn you about, and embrace Elation; And that wealth may increase without any restraint, Join you with Greedy-gut here in our presence, That all these in you may have prosperous influence. [_Bow to the ground._

LUST. Out, alas! what a sudden passion is this! I am so taken, that I cannot stand; The cramp, the cramp, hath touched me, i-wis; I shall die without remedy now out of hand.

GRE. By my matins cheese, our master is sick.

INC. Stand back, Nicol-noddy, with the pudding-prick, More brains in thy skin than wit in thy brain, Such Greedy-gut in faith would be flain! This cramp doth signify nothing in effect; None of all your counsels he will now reject, And therefore fear not to make full declaration. But how he is bowed by me Inclination.

STURD. Then fear not the force of these that be just, But labour yourself to advance and augment; Be jocund and lively, sith your name is Lust, And then you shall easily obtain your intent.

ELA. Esteem yourself always equal with the best, And seek for promotion, power, and dignity; It is good when men may live as they lust, And unto the just bear hate and malignity.

GRE. O zur, ye must be greedy to catch and to claw.

INC. Well said, Greedy-gut, as wise as a daw!

GRE. Eat up, at a mouthful, houses and lands.

INC. There 's a vengeable mouth to-- [_Gape, and the Vice gape._

GRE. Never fear God, nor the governor's law, But gripe, gripe, gripe greedily all that cometh in your hands. By the mass, but Hugh Howlet is pestilent witty, What guttish greediness the whoreson can teach! That thou art not erected, in faith, it is pity, As high as three trees and a halter will reach.

LUST. Marry, sirs, but your counsels hath set me on fire! Hey, lusty lad, how fresh am I now! Lead me, Inclination, to have my desire, And then at thy request I will ever bend and bow.

INC. He that bendeth to follow his own inclination, Must needs live a wicked and vile conversation, But so, Master Lust, I will lead you to a place, Where you shall have pleasure enough in short space.

LUST. Yea, but shall not this company go thither?

INC. Yes, marry, we four will all go together; But Sturdiness shall tarry to face out the matter, If Just peradventure against you shall clatter.

STURD. By the mass, and well said, but first let us sing.

INC. I must tune my pipes first of all by drinking.

ELA. Tush, what then? I pray thee help us a part.

INC. Yes, I will sing the treble with all my heart.

_They sing._

_Lust shall be led by Inclination To Carnal Cogitation; Where Lust is wholly led by me, He must fall to cupidity; For carnal cares shall him assail, And speedily they shall prevail; I, Sturdiness, wilt face it out In his cause, sturdy, stiff and stout. Then Greedy-gut shall make him eat Both house and lands like bread and meat; Elation shall puff him high For to aspire above the sky; Then natural and lordly Lust Shall with his power despise the Just._

ELA. Our song is ended, hast thou other in store?

INC. I shall not have done this half hour and more. Yet I will, now I remember. Come in, Lust; That I go before, is but needful and just. You shall be now led by me Inclination To reason and talk with Carnal Cogitation.

STURD. Is there more vanity underneath the sun, Than to be inclined after this sort? Well, Lust doth now as other have done, Yea, and do day by day, esteeming it a sport; This Lust is the image of all wicked men, Which in seeking the world have all delectation; They regard not God, nor his commandments ten, But are wholly led by their own inclination. First, to inculcate with Carnal Cogitation, And after to the desire of all worldly treasure, Which alone they esteem the fulness of pleasure. With Elation or Pride he is also associate, Which puffeth up his senses with presumption pestilent; Then Greedy-gut maketh them continually to grate On the mock of this world, which he thinketh permanent. I, Sturdiness, to hear out all things am bent: Thus see you how men, that are led by their lust, Dissent from the virtuous, goodly and just. [_Go out. Enter_ JUST _and_ SAPIENCE.

SAP. The advice of Aristippus have in your mind, Which willed me to seek such things as be permanent, And not such as are of a vanishing kind, For the one with the other is not equivalent. Be circumspect, therefore, foreseeing and sapient, For treasures here gotten are uncertain and vain, But treasures of the mind do continually remain.

JUST. This is the mind of Musonus, also I remember, Like as presently you have advertised me, For the which I cannot but thankfully render Such commendations as is requisite to be; And as your name is Sapience, thus much I see, That on heavenly wisdom you do depend, And not on as time doth bring to an end.

SAP. Truth indeed, and therefore, your name being Just, With me and my documents must be associate; Where, contrary, such as are led by their lust, To incline evil are always appropriate: They have not, as you have, battle and combat Against the cogitations that inwardly spring, But rather are obedient unto the same thing: And this is the occasion that men are so ambitious And so foolish, led by the lust of their brain: Sometime to covet, sometime to be vicious; Sometime the counsel of the wise to disdain; Sometime to climb till they fall down again; Sometime to usurp the possessions of other; Sometime to disobey both father and mother.

JUST. Alas, what availeth it riches to enjoy, Though as much in comparison as Croesus the king? What helpeth it to have Helen in Troy, If the conscience of man continually sting? Elation and Pride no commodity doth bring, But is often known the forerunner of shame, And the blot of immortal memory and fame.

_Enter_ INCLINATION, _the Vice_.

INC. Now, by my halidom, it is alone a: Better sport in my life I never saw, It is trim, I tell you, to dance with John and Jone a, We pass not a point for God nor his law: But Lust is lusty, and full of porridge: Cogitation and he in one bed doth lie. When here is Master Just, with his cank'red courage, What, and old doting Sapience! then I am dressed, I. So often already Just hath me restrained, That I dare not entice him any more, For through Sapience he hath me clearly disdained, That my courage is spent, and I have no more. [_Make as going back._

SAP. Nay, soft, sir, we must talk with you, ere ye go.

INC. I cannot tarry at this time, the truth is so.

JUST. Nay, there is no remedy; with you we must talk.

INC. By the body of me, I hold best that I walk, Or else learn to speak language another while, And so I may happen the knaves to beguile.

JUST. Turn back, ere you go, we have somewhat to say.

INC. Non point parle françois, non, par ma foy.

SAP. To deceive us now himself he doth prepare.

INC. Ick en can ghene english spreken von waer. Body of me, let me go, or else I shall piss: I-wis, Master Just, you have loved me ere this; Therefore now be ruled after my counsel, And godly things for your commodity I shall you tell.

SAP. Let him that is just not lightly ensue His vile inclination and carnal concupiscence, But let him rather contend the same to subdue; And chiefly those that have knowledge of Sapience: Therefore to bridle this lust do your diligence, His crafty provocations utterly to restrain, That Just may live, while life doth remain.

INC. Goodman Hobal, speak you in earnest? What dost thou say, shall the Just bridle me? No, no, brother Snaps, do the worst and thy best I will not be bridled of him nor of thee.

JUST. Seeing Sapience consisteth in heavenly document, And that heavenly document consisteth in Sapience, To bridle this wretch I cannot but consent, Sith I of his purpose have had oft intelligence.

INC. Yet again [to] bridle it doth not prevail; I will not be bridled of the best of you both. See you this gear? here's one will make you to quail; Stand back! to kill you, Master Just, I would be loth! You have been so burned and fried of late, That it were pity to hurt you any more. Back, I say, or my dagger shall about your pate, By the mass, but I will, sir, I'll make your bones sore. [_Struggle two or three times._

JUST. I will bridle thee, beast, for all thy bragging.

INC. In faith, goodman Just, I'll hold ye wagging; Nay, brother, ye shall find me a curst colt to bridle, Nay, in faith, better yet I will make thee to struggle.

SAP. Never leave him, but ensue the counsel of Sapience.

JUST. Lo, now, I have brought him under obedience. [_Bridle him._

INC. Not so obedient as thou thinkest me to have; Nay, brother, ye shall find me a coltish knave: We-he-he, it is good for you to hold fast, For I will kick and winch, while the life doth last.

SAP. Thou shalt kick indeed, but no victory win; Neither to conquer the Just to ungodliness nor sin.

INC. O yes, O yes, I will make a proclamation.

JUST. What shall that be?

INC. If ye will give me leave, then you shall see. O yes! is there any man or woman that hath lost A gambolling gelding with a grey tail? Let him come to the crier, and pay for his cost, And he will tell him tidings without any fail.

SAP. To the intent that you may him sharply restrain, Let him not enjoy so much of the rein. [_Bridle him shorter._

INC. Cock's soul, now the snaffle cutteth my lip, I would this lubberly knave had the pip! I shall leap no hedges while this bridle is on, Out, alas! I think it will fret me to the bone.

SAP. Thus should every man, that will be called Just, Bridle and subdue his beastly inclination, That he in the end may obtain perfect trust, The messenger of God to give sight to salvation.

JUST. That trust to obtain with him I have struggled.

SAP. Then let us depart, and leave this beast bridled. [_Go out both._

INC. May the devil go with you and his dun dame! Such horse-masters will make a colt quickly tame; I would he were hanged that this snaffle did make, It maketh my chaps so shamefully to ache; Ye have no pity on me, you, I see, by your laughing; I care not greatly, if I fall to gambolling; We-he-he-he-he-he, come aloft, I say, Beware the horse-heels, I advise you stand away; The rein of my bridle is tied so short, That I cannot make you any more sport. But though I be bridled now of the Just, I doubt not but I shall be unbridled by Lust, And let not Just think but I will rebel, Although he bridle me ten times all well; Though Nature saith one doom with a croch, It will not lie long, but incontinent approach; Even so, though that I be bridled a while, The colt will at length the courser beguile.

_Enter_ GREEDY-GUT _running, and catch a fall_.

GRE. Chill run, I, as fast as I can, Zurs, did none of you zee a man? Cham zent in haste from my Master Lust, So that Inclination needs come to him must.

INC. Where is he now? I pray thee, tell me.

GRE. Why, what have we here? Jesus, benedicite! I hold twenty pound it is Balaam's ass! Nay 'tis a colt, I see his tail, by the mass!

INC. Am I a colt? nay, thou liest like a knave, Somewhat for thy labour now shalt thou have.

GRE. Hobal, ho, lousy jade, must ye kick?

INC. Whoever saw such a desperate Dick? Why Greedy-gut, do'st thou not know Inclination?

GRE. Body of me, who hath drest thee of that fashion? Thou art bridled for biting now indeed, Sirrah, Master Lust would have thee make speed.

INC. I am bridled, I, even as thou do'st see, Therefore desire him to come and help me. But what is the matter, that he for me sent?

GRE. Marry, together with Greediness now he is bent; He hath had long talk with Carnal Cogitation, And is set on fire by the means of Elation, So that he is so lusty, he cannot abide, Therefore one or other for him must be spied.

INC. Well, Greedy-gut, I pray thee, go and make haste.

GRE. Tush, fear not, chill spend no time in waste.

INC. I had rather than forty pence that he were come; If I be bridled long, I shall be undone. So sharp is this snaffle, called Restraint, That it maketh me sweat I am so faint: Hark! I hear the voice of my Master Lust; Now I shall be unbridled shortly, I trust.

_Enter_ LUST.

LUST. Cock's precious wounds, here hath been villainy.

INC. Eh, they have used me with too much villainy, That old knave Sapience so counselled Just; But let me be unbridled, good Master Lust. [_Unbridle him._

LUST. Lo, now thou art unbridled, be of good cheer.

INC. By'r Lady, I am glad I have gotten thus clear. But hark you, Master Lust, if I may do you pleasure, Whisper, whisper.

LUST. She is called Treasure.[324] O, my heart is on fire, till she come in place.

INC. O Master Lust, she hath an amiable face;[325] A tricker, a trimmer, in faith that she is, The goddess of wealth, prosperity, and bliss.

LUST. But think you that this minion long endure shall?

INC. For ever and ever, man, she is immortal. There be many other; but she exceedeth them all.

LUST. What be they, have you their names in store?

INC. Yea, hark, in your ear [_whispers_], and many other more.

LUST. Sith that the apple of Paris before me is cast, And that I may deliver the same where I will, I would Prometheus were here to help me hold fast, That I might have a fore-wit with me ever still. Pallas, I consider, in science hath skill, But Juno and Venus good will do I bear; Therefore to give the apple I know not where.

INC. Be counsell'd by me, and give it Lady Treasure. It shall be for your commodity in the end without measure, For having the company of this minion lass, You shall never want the society of Pallas; Juno, nor yet the armipotent Mars, Can not resist your strength, be they never so fierce; And as for Venus, you shall have [her] at pleasure, For she is bought and sold always with Treasure; She of her power hath whole countries conquered, The most noble champions by her hath been murthered; Acon for her sake was stoned to death. Tush, innumerable at this day spend their breath, Some hang or be hanged, they love her so well, She is the great goddess, it is true that I tell.

LUST. Which way should I work of her to have a sight?

INC. I, Inclination, will lead you thither right; But we must have Greedy-gut and also Elation.

LUST. They are at the house of Carnal Cogitation.

INC. Whither I would wish that we might depart; I will lead you thither with all my heart.

_Enter_ JUST, TRUST, _and_ CONTENTATION.

TRUST, _a woman plainly [apparelled,] and_ CONTENTATION _kneel down and sing, she have a crown_.

_So happy is the state of those That walk upright and just, That thou, Lord, dost thy face disclose By perfect hope and trust. Their inclination thou dost stay, And sendeth them Sapience, That they should serve, and eke obey, Thy high magnificence. And sendest Contentation, That we in thee may rest. Therefore all adoration To thee pertaineth best._

JUST. God careth for his, as the prophet doth say, And preserveth them under his merciful wings; Namely the just, that his will do obey, Observing his holy commandment in all things; Not for our sake or for our deservings, But for his own sake openly to declare, That all men on earth ought to live in his fear.

TRUST. How God hath blessed you, all men may see; For first at your entrance you conquered Lust, Not by your power, but by might of the deity, As all persons ought to do that be just. Then through Sapience, which God did you send, You bridled that brutish beast Inclination, And also ordered you with Contentation.

CONT. Those that are contented with their vocation Be thankful to God; this is a true consequent; And those that be thankful in their conversation, Cannot but please the Lord God omnipotent; But those that be sturdy, proud, and disobedient, The Ruler of all rulers will them confound, And rot their remembrance off from the ground.

JUST. When Solon was asked of Croesus the king, What man was most happy in this vale terrestrial, To the end he seemeth to attribute that thing When men be associate with treasures celestial, Before the end can no man judge, he doth say, That any man is happy that here beareth breath, But then by his end prettily judge we may. Thus true happiness consisteth, saith he, after death. If this be a truth, as undoubtedly it is, What men are more foolish, wretched, and miserable, Than those that in these treasures accompt their whole bliss? Being infect with ambition, that sickness incurable; Ah, wicked Adrastia, thou goddess deceivable, Thus to pluck from men the sense of their mind, So that no contentation therein they can find.

TRUST. The treasure of this world we may well compare To Circes the witch with her crafty cautility, Wherewith many men's minds so poisoned are, That quite they are carried into all fidelity; They are conjured indeed, and bewitched so sore, That treasure is their trust, joy and delight. True trust is expelled, they pass not therefore, And against contentation they continually fight. But though wicked men follow their lust, Crying, on earth is our felicity and pleasure, Yet God doth so guide the hearts of the just, That they respect chiefly the celestial treasure.

CONT. Alas! should we not have that estimation Which God hath prepared for his dear elect? Should not our minds rest in full contentation, Having trust in this treasure, most high in respect? St Paul, whom the Lord so high did erect, Saith: It passeth the sense of our memory and mind, Much less can our outward eyes the same find, And as for treasures which men possess here, Through fickleness of fortune soon fadeth away; The greatest of renown and most worthy peer Sometime falleth in the end to misery and decay. Record of Dionysius, a king of much fame, Of the valiant Alexander and Cæsar the strong. Record of Tarquinius, which Superbus had to name, And of Heliogabalus, that ministered with wrong; If I should recite all, I should stand very long, But these be sufficient plainly to approve, How soon by uncertainty this treasure doth remove.

JUST. It is true; therefore a mind well content Is great riches, as the wise King Solomon doth say. We have seen of late days this canker pestilent Corrupting our realm to our great decay-- Ambition, I mean, which chiefly did reign Among those that should be examples to others; We saw how their brethren they did disdain, And burned with fire the child with the mother; It is often seen that such monsters ambitious, As spare not to spill the blood of the innocent, Will not greatly stick to become seditious, The determination of God thereby to prevent. God grant every one of us earnestly to repent, And not to set our minds on this fading treasure, But rather wish and will to do the Lord's pleasure.

TRUST. O ye emperors, potentates, and princes of renown, Learn of Just with Trust yourselves to associate. That like as your vocation by right doth ask the crown, And also due obedience, being the appointed magistrate, So rule that at the last you may be resuscitate, And reign with the Almighty with perfect continuance, Receiving double crowns for your godly governance. Ye noblemen, whom God hath furnished with fame, Be mindful to walk in the ways of the Just, Add virtue evermore to your honourable name, And be not overcome of concupiscence or lust. Flee from love of treasure, catch hold of me, Trust; And then double felicity at the last you shall possess, And in all earthly doings God shall give you success. Ye poor men and commons, walk well in your vocation, Banish lust and desire, which is not convenient; Let trust work in you a full contentation, Considering that it leadeth to treasures more excellent, For these are uncertain, but they are most permanent. Your necessity supply with virtue and trust, And then shall you enjoy your crown among the just.

JUST. As I, being properly nominate Just, Am here associate with Contentation, So have I my whole felicity in Trust, Who illumineth mine eyes to see my salvation.

TRUST. Fear ye not, shortly you shall have consolation, If I were once grown in you to perfection, Even thus goeth it always with the children of election.

JUST. I will depart now; will ye go with me, Trust?

TRUST. Yea, I must always associate the Just.

CONT. A psalm of thanksgiving first let us sing, To the laud and praise of the immortal King. [_Here, if you will, sing "the man is blest that feareth God," &c.--Go out._

_Enter_ INCLINATION, _laughing_.

INC. Lust (quod he); now in faith he is lusty, Lady Treasure and he hath made a match; He thinketh that I were marvellous trusty, Because I teach him to claw and to catch, And nowadays amity doth therein consist; He that can flatter shall be well beloved; But he that saith, _thus_ and _thus, saith Christ_, Shall as an enemy be openly reproved. Friendship, yea, friendship consisteth now in adulation; Speak fair and please the lust of thy lord, I warrant thee be had in great estimation, When those that tell truth shall be abhorr'd. Ah, unhappy Lingua, whither wilt thou ren? Take heed, I advise thee, lest thou be shent; If ye chance to tell any tales of these gentlewomen, With flesh-hooks and nails you are like to be rent; Nay, for the passion of me be not so moved, And I will please you incontinent again. Above all treasures you are worthy to be loved, Because you do no men deride nor disdain; You do not contemn the simple and poor; You be not high-minded, proud, and presumptuous, Neither wanton nor wily you be nevermore, But gentle, loving modesty, and virtuous, Behold how a lie can please some folks' diet, O[r] pacify their minds marvellous well! All hist, I warrant ye, so they [be] in quiet. How to please you hereafter now I can tell: Hark, I hear Lust and my Lady Treasure, They are given to solace, singing and pleasure.

_Enter_ LUST _and_ TREASURE, _a woman finely appareled_.

LUST. Ah, amorous lady, of beautiful face, Thou art heartily welcome into this place; My heart is inclined to thee, Lady Treasure, My love is insatiate, it keepeth no measure.

TREAS. It is I, Master Lust, that will you advance; Treasure it is that things doth enhance: Upon me set your whole affection and lust, And pass not a point for the ways of the Just. Treasure is a pleasure, bear that in mind; Both trusty and true ye shall me always find.

INC. As trusty as is a quick eel by the tail! [_Aside._ What, Lady Treasure, welcome without fail; To be better acquainted with you once I trust, But I dare not in the presence of my Master Lust.

[TREAS.] Ye are welcome, sir, heartily; what! be of good courage; Drawer, let us have a pint of white wine and borage.

LUST. Wherefore, I pray thee tell?

INC. Marry, methink you are not well.

LUST. Not well? who can a better life crave, Than to possess such a lady as I have? Is there any wealth not contained in Treasure Ah, lady, I love thee, in faith, out of measure.

INC. It is out of measure indeed, as you say, And even so most men love her at this day; O, she is a minion of amorous hue, Her peer in my days yet I never knew. Old (quod you): I am an old knave, I tell ye, Nay, never laugh at the matter, for doubtless I smell ye; She passeth Juno, Ceres, and Pallas, More beautiful than ever dame Venus was, Othea in sapience she doth exceed, And Diana in dignity, of whom we do read; What should fair Helen once named be, She excelleth all these, Master Lust, believe me.

LUST. How say you, is not this an eloquent lad?

TREAS. That you have such a servant, truly I am glad.

INC. Ha, ha, now indeed I can you not blame, For women of all degrees are glad of the same; They that flatter and speak them fair, Shall be their sons, and peradventure their heir.

LUST. You told me of a brother you had, Lady Treasure.

TREAS. Yea, sir, that I have; his name is called Pleasure; And seeing you enjoy me now at your will, Right soon, I am sure, he will come you until.

LUST. Truly of him I would fain have a sight, For because that in pleasure I have marvellous delight.

INC. Then honesty and profit you may bid good night. [_Aside._

LUST. What say'st thou?

INC. I say he will shortly appear in sight; I know by his singing the same is he, [_Aside_] The misbegotten Orpheus I think that he be.

_Enter_ PLEASURE, _singing this song_.

_O happy days and pleasant plays, Wherein I do delight-a; I do pretend, till my life's end, To live still in such plight-a._

INC. Master Pleasure, I perceive you be of good cheer.

PLEAS. What, Inclination, old lad, art thou here?

INC. Yea, sir, and Lady Treasure your sister, also.

PLEAS. Body of me, then unto her I will go. What, sister, I am glad to meet with you here.

TREAS. Welcome unto me, mine own brother dear. Master Lust, this is my brother, of whom I told; He is pleasant and lusty, as you may behold.

LUST. Gentleman (I pray you), is your name Master Pleasure?

PLEAS. Yea, sir, and I am brother to Lady Treasure.

LUST. And are you contented to accompany me?

PLEAS. Whereas she is resident, I must needs be; Treasure doth Pleasure commonly precede.[326] But the one is with the other, they have both so decreed.

INC. Marry, now you are well indeed, Master Lust; This is better, I trow, than the life of the just: They be compelled to possess contentation, Having no treasure but trust of salvation. But my lady your mistress--my mistress, I would say, She worketh, you may see, to keep you from decay.

LUST. O, madam, in you is all my delight, And in your brother Pleasure, both day and night. The _Trial of Treasure_ this is indeed, I perceive that she is a true friend at need; For I have proved her, according as Thales doth say, And I perceive that her beauty cannot decay.

TREAS. Always with you I will be resident, So that your life shall be most excellent.

PLEAS. Yea, sir, and me Pleasure also you shall have, So that none other thing there needeth to crave; I will replenish your heart with delight, And I will be always with Treasure in sight. But if you desire to enjoy me at your will, My sister you must have in reputation still; And then, as her treasure is certain and excellent, My pleasure shall be both perfect and permanent. Credit not those, sir, that talk that and this, Saying that in two consisteth no bliss. But let experience your mind ever move, And see if all men us two do not love.

INC. [_aside._] Love? yes, they love you indeed, without a doubt, Which shutteth some of them God's kingdom without. They love you so well, that their God they do hate, As time hath declared to us even of late. But he that on such things his study doth cast, Shall be sure to be deceived at the last.

LUST. What dost thou say?

INC. Of Treasure, forsooth, ye must ever hold fast, For if you should chance to lose Lady Treasure, Then farewell in post this gentleman Pleasure.

LUST. My love to them both cannot be express'd, And especially, my lady, you I love best.

TREAS. If you love me, as you do profess, Be sure you shall want no kind of wealthiness.

PLEAS. And if you have wealthiness at your own will, Then will I Pleasure remain with you still.

INC. [_aside._] You are both as constant as snow in the sun, Which from snow to water through melting doth run; But worldly-wise men cannot conceive that: To hunt for such mice they learn of the cat.

LUST. My lady is amorous, and full of favour.

INC. [_aside._] I may say to you she hath an ill-favoured savour.

LUST. What sayest thou?

INC. I say she is loving and of gentle behaviour.

TREAS. And so I will continue still, be you sure.

PLEAS. And I in like case, while your life doth endure.

LUST. Ah trusty Treasure! ah pleasant Pleasure! All wealth I possess now without measure; And seeing that the same shall firmly remain, To help me sing a song will you take the pain?

TREAS. Even with all my heart, begin when ye will.

INC. [_aside._] To it, and I will either help or stand still.

_Sing this Song._

_Am I not in blessed case, Treasure and Pleasure to possess? I would not wish no better place, If I may still have wealthiness: And to enjoy in perfect peace My lady, lady. My pleasant pleasure shall increase, My dear lady._

_Helen may not compared be, Nor Cressida that was so bright; These cannot stain the shine of thee, Nor yet Minerva of great might. Thou passest Venus far away, Lady, lady, Love thee, I will both night and day, My dear lady._

_My mouse, my nobs, and coney sweet, My hope and joy, my whole delight; Dame Nature may fall at thy feet, And may yield to thee her crown of right. I will thy body now embrace, Lady, lady; And kiss thy sweet and pleasant face, My dear lady._

_Enter_ GOD'S VISITATION.

VISIT. I am God's minister, called Visitation, Which divers and many ways you may understand; Sometime I bring sickness; sometime perturbation; Sometime trouble and misery throughout the land; Sometime I signify God's wrath to be at hand; Sometime a forerunner of destruction imminent, But an executor of pain I am at this present. Thou insipient fool, that hast followed thy lust, Disdaining the doctrine declared by Sapience, In Treasure and Pleasure hath been thy trust, Which thou thoughtest should remain ever in thy presence: Thou never rememb'red'st Thales his sentence, Who willeth men in all things to keep a measure, Especially in love to uncertainty of treasure; Even now I am come from visiting the Just, Because God beginneth first with his elect; But he is so associated and comforted with Trust, That no kind of impatience his soul can infect. Contentation in such sort his race doth direct, That he is contented with God's operation, Comfortably embracing me his Visitation; But now I am come to vex thee with pain, Which makest Treasure thy castle and rock: Thou shall know that both she and Pleasure is vain, And that the Almighty thou canst not mock. Anguish and grief into thee I do cast, With pain in thy members continually. Now thou hast pain, thy pleasure cannot last, But I will expel him incontinently.

LUST. O Cock's heart! what a pestilence is this! Depart from me, I say, hence, God's Visitation! Help, help, Lady Treasure, thou goddess of bliss! At thy hands let me have some consolation.

TREAS. I will remain with you, be out of doubt.

INC. Will ye be packing, you ill-favoured lout?

VISIT. Presently, indeed from him thou shalt not go, And why? because God's will hath not determined so; But in time thou, Treasure, shalt be turned to rust. And as for Pleasure he shall now attend on the Just.

LUST. Gog's wounds! these pangs increase evermore.

INC. And my little finger is spitefully sore; You will not believe how my heel doth ache.

TREAS. (_to_ VISITATION). Nay, let me alone, your part I will take. (_To_ LUST) Be of good comfort, while I here remain; For Pleasure and he shall be parted in twain.

VISIT. It is not meet that he should be participate with Lust, But rather virtuous, godly and just.

LUST. Remain with me still, Master Pleasure, I say.

PLEAS. Nay, there is no remedy; I must away; For where God doth punition and pain, I Pleasure in no case cannot remain.

VISIT. I could in like case separate thy treasure, But God doth admonish thee by losing thy pleasure. [_Go out_ VISITATION _and_ PLEASURE.

INC. Farewell, in the devil's name, old lousy lout, That my master will die I stand in great doubt. Ho, ho, ho, how is it with you, Master Lust?

LUST. By the flesh of Goliah, yet Treasure is my trust, Though Pleasure be gone, and I live in pain, I doubt not but Treasure will fetch him again.

TREAS. Yea, that I will, fear not, and with you remain.

INC. The property of rich men undoubtedly he hath, Which think with money to pacify God's wrath, And health at their pleasure to buy and to sell. How is Master Lust, are you anything well?

LUST. Against this Visitation my heart doth rebel. Gog's wounds! shall I still in these pangs remain?

TREAS. Fear you not, Master Lust, I will help you again, Treasure in physic exceedeth Galenus: Tush! there is no physician but we shall have with us; To the ease of your body they will you bring, And therefore I pray you despair in no thing; Put your trust always in me Lady Treasure, And I will restore you again unto Pleasure, For I am the goddess that therein hath power, Which shall remain perfect unto the last hour.

INC. Yea, yea, Master Lust, be as merry as you may; Let Treasure be your trust, whosoever say nay.

_Enter_ TIME.

TIME. The ancient Greeks have called me Chronos, Which in our vulgar tongue signifieth Time; I am ent'red in presently for a certain purpose-- Even to turn Treasure to rust and to slime, And Lust, which hath long disdained the Just, Ensuing his filthy and vile inclination, Shall immediately be turned to dust, To the example of all the whole congregation; For Time bringeth both these matters to pass, As experience hath taught in every age, And you shall behold the same in this glass, As a document both profitable and sage. Both Lust and Treasure come forth with speed Into the shop of the most mighty God, There shall you be beaten to powder indeed, And for your abusion feel his scourge and rod.

INC. By Saint Mary! then they have made a wise match, I pretend therefore to leap over the hatch: Nay, let me depart, sirs; stop me not, I say, For I must remain, though both these decay. [_Go out._

LUST. Lust from the beginning frequented hath been, And shall I now turn to nothing for thee?

TREAS. Treasure in all ages hath been beloved, And shall she from the earth by thee be removed?

TIME. You know that all such things are subject to time; Therefore me to withstand is no reason nor rhyme; For like as all things in time their beginning had, So must all things in time vanish and fade.

LUST. Gog's wounds, let Treasure remain still with me.

TREAS. Yea, let me continue still in my dignity.

TIME. Nay, I must carry you into Vulcan's fire, Where you shall be tried unto the uttermost. Seeing Lust against Trust did daily conspire, To dust he shall turn for all his great boast! Both of you shall have one rigorous host; Come therefore with speed, Time cannot tarry: To the end of your felicity I will you carry.

TREAS. If there be no remedy, then there is no shift.

LUST. He must needs go, that is driven by the devil's drift; Ah! Cock's precious sides, what fortune is this! Whither go I now, to misery or bliss? [_Go out._

_Enter_ JUST, _leading_ INCLINATION _in his bridle shackled_.

INC. We--he, he, he, he! ware the horse-heels, I say; I would the rein were loose, that I might run away.

JUST. Nay, sith thou wilt not spare against me to rebel, I will not spare, by God's grace, thee to bridle; All men may see how vile Inclination Spareth not to put the just to vexation; Even so may all men learn of me again, Thy beastly desires to bridle and restrain.

INC. Marry, sir, I am bridled indeed, as you say, And shackled, I think, for running away; This snaffle is sharp indeed for the nonce, And these shackles do chafe my legs to the bones; And yet will I provoke, spurn and prick, Rebel, repugn, lash out and kick. We-he!--

JUST. In the jade's name, are ye so fresh? This gear, I suppose, will pluck down your flesh. Nay, soft, thou shalt have a little more pain, For somewhat shorter now I will tie thy rein.

_Enter_ TRUST _and_ CONSOLATION.

TRUST. Most blessed and happy, I say, are the just, Even because they restrain their own inclination; Thou, therefore, that hast made thy treasure of trust, Behold, I have brought thee here Consolation.

JUST. Now blessed be God of his mercy and grace, With all my heart and soul I do you embrace.

CON. Consolation is my name, even as Trust hath said, Which is joy or comfort in this life transitory; He that possesseth me is of nothing afraid, But hath a most quiet and peaceable memory. For I, through Trust, doth show thee the glory That God hath prepared for them beforehand. Wherein at the last they shall perfectly stand.

TRUST. Receive this crown of felicity now at this space, Which shall be made richer at the celestial place.

INC. By'r lady, I would I had such a gay crown.

JUST. Now praised be God for this riches of renown; Felicity, in this world, the just doth enjoy.

[INC. _aside_.] Namely, when the devil can them not annoy.

[JUST.] The Lord's work this is, who be praised for ever, Who grant us in his laws still to persever.

CON. Amen, amen!--God give us delight In his holy covenant both day and night.

TRUST. Our matter is almost brought to an end, Saving that Inclination in prison must be shut. Just, carry him forth, that useth to contend, And see that surely enough he be put.

JUST. That shall be done shortly, by God's grace.

INC. What, soft, I say, me-think ye go a shameful pace; Was there ever poor colt thus handled before? Fie upon it, my legs be unreasonably sore; Well, yet I will rebel, yea, and rebel again, And though a thousand times you shouldest me restrain. [_Lead him out._

_Enter_ TIME, _with a similitude of dust and rust_.

TIME. Behold here, how Lust is converted into dust; This is his image, his wealth and prosperity; And Treasure in like case is turned to rust, Whereof this example showeth the verity. The _Trial of Treasure_ this is, no doubt, Let all men take heed that trust in the same, Considering what things I Time bring about, And quench out the ungodly, their memory and fame.

_Enter_ JUST.

JUST. Why, and is Lust and Treasure converted to this?

TIME. Yea, forsooth.

JUST. What foolish man in them would put trust, If this be the final end of their bliss? Much better I commend the life of the just.

CON. So it is, no doubt, for they have consolation, Possessing felicity even in this place; I mean, through trust and hope of salvation, Which setteth out to us God's mercy and grace.

JUST. Let all men consider this good erudition, And not to put confidence in Lust nor Treasure; By these two examples receive admonition, And also of the sudden banishment of Pleasure.

TIME. Remember that Time turneth all things about: Time is the touchstone the just for to try. But whereas Lust and Treasure in time is come to nought, Just, possessing Trust, remaineth constantly. So that as I Time have revealed their infamy, So have I showed the consolation and gain, That the just shall receive that justly do reign.

CON. We will now no longer trouble this audience, Sith somewhat tedious to you we have been; Beseeching you to bear all things with patience, And remember the examples that you have seen. God grant them to flourish lively and green, That some of us the better therefore may be, Amen, amen! I beseech the blessed Trinity.

* * * * *

_Pray for all Estates._

Take heed in time, and note this well, Be ruled always by counsel.

Learn of the just to lead thy life, Being free from envy, wrath, and strife: Presumption, pride, and covetousness, With all other ungodliness.

Learn of them always to obey The Lord's precepts, from day to day, That thou mayest walk, as he doth will, And labour thy fond affects to kill.

Always subdue thy beastly lust, And in the Lord put hope and trust; Bridle thine inclination By godly conversation.

The counsel of the wise embrace, The fool's advice do then deface. Which fast and pray with good delight, That Adam may be killed quite.

That joy in us may still increase, That God the Lord may give us peace, That we may be content with Trust To have our crown among the just.

FOOTNOTES:

[317] [Probably for the sake of the rhyme, instead of _entendu_, understood.]

[318] [Following.]

[319] [_i.e._, God's wounds and hearts; the orig. has _hartes_.]

[320] [Intend.]

[321] [Conquer.]

[322] [Samians.]

[323] [Original has Crassus.]

[324] [In the original the hemistich, _She is called Treasure_, is assigned to Inclination.]

[325] This speech is not assigned to _Inclination_ in the original.--_Halliwell_ (_Additional Notes_).

[326] [Original has _proceed_.]

LIKE WILL TO LIKE

_EDITIONS._

_An Enterlude Intituled Like wil to like quod the Deuel to the Colier, very godly and ful of pleasant mirth. Wherin is declared not onely what punishment followeth those that wil rather followe licentious liuing, then to esteeme & followe good councel: and what great benefits and commodities they receiue that apply them vnto vertuous liuing and good exercises. Made by Vlpian Fulwel. Imprinted at Lǒdon at the long shop adioyning vnto S. Mildreds Churche in the Pultrie by Iohn Allde. Anno Domini 1568. 4º. Black letter._

_A Pleasant Interlude, &c. London. Printed by Edward Allde, &c. 1587. 4º. Black letter._

A copy of the latter is among Garrick's books at the Museum.

Of another production by this writer, not of a dramatic character, an account will be found in Mr Collier's "Bibliographical Catalogue," 1865. "Like will to Like" was Fulwell's only performance in this direction, and is now first reprinted from a copy of the 4to of 1568 in the Malone collection at Oxford. Both editions are of the highest rarity.

THE NAMES OF THE PLAYERS.

_Five may easily play this Interlude._

THE PROLOGUE, } TOM TOSSPOT, } _For one._ HANKIN HANGMAN, } TOM COLLIER. }

HANCE, } VIRTUOUS LIFE, } _For one._ GOD'S PROMISE, } CUTHBERT CUTPURSE. }

LUCIFER, } RALPH ROISTER, } _For one._ GOOD FAME, } SEVERITY. }

PHILIP FLEMING, } PIERCE PICKPURSE, } _For another._ HONOUR. }

NICHOL NEWFANGLE, _the Vice_.

THE PROLOGUE.

Cicero in his book _De Amicitia_, these words doth express, Saying nothing is more desirous than like is unto like; Whose words are most true and of a certainty doubtless: For the virtuous do not the virtuous' company mislike. But the vicious do the virtuous' company eschew: And like will unto like, this is most true. It is not my meaning your ears for to weary, With hearkening what is the 'ffect of our matter: But our pretence[327] is to move you to be merry, Merrily to speak, meaning no man to flatter. The name of this matter, as I said whilere, Is, Like will to Like, quoth the Devil to the Collier. Sith pithy proverbs in our English tongue doth abound, Our author thought good such a one for to choose, As may show good example, and mirth may eke be found, But no lascivious toys he purposeth for to use. Herein, as it were in a glass, see you may The advancement of virtue, of vice the decay: To what ruin ruffians and roisters are brought; You may here see of them the final end: Begging is the best, though that end be nought; But hanging is worse, if they do not amend. The virtuous life is brought to honour and dignity: And at the last to everlasting eternity. And because divers men of divers minds be, Some do matters of mirth and pastime require: Other some are delighted with matters of gravity, To please all men is our author's chief desire. Wherefore mirth with measure to sadness[328] is annexed: Desiring that none here at our matter will be perplexed. Thus, as I said, I will be short and brief, Because from this dump you shall relieved be: And the Devil with the collier, the thief that seeks the thief, Shall soon make you merry, so shortly you shall see; And sith mirth for sadness is a sauce most sweet, Take mirth then with measure, that best sauceth it.

FOOTNOTES:

[327] [Intention.]

[328] [Seriousness.]

LIKE WILL TO LIKE.

[_Here entereth_ NICHOL NEWFANGLE _the Vice, laughing, and hath a knave of clubs in his hand which, as soon as he speaketh, he offereth unto one of the men or boys standing by_.

NEW. Ha, ha, ha, ha! now like unto like: it will be none other, Stoop, gentle knave, and take up your brother. Why, is it so? and is it even so indeed? Why then may I say God send us good speed! And is every one here so greatly unkind, That I am no sooner out of sight, but quite out of mind? Marry, this will make a man even weep for woe, That on such a sudden no man will let me know, Sith men be so dangerous[329] now at this day: Yet are women kind worms, I dare well say. How say you, woman? you that stand in the angle, Were you never acquainted with Nichol Newfangle? Then I see Nichol Newfangle is quite forgot, Yet you will know me anon, I dare jeopard a groat. Nichol Newfangle is my name, do you not me know? My whole education to you I shall show. For first, before I was born, I remember very well, That my grandsire and I made a journey into hell; Where I was bound prentice before my nativity To Lucifer himself, such was my agility. All kinds of sciences he taught unto me: That unto the maintenances of pride might best agree. I learn'd to make gowns with long sleeves and wings: I learn'd to make ruffs like calves' chitterlings, Caps, hats, coats, with all kind of apparels, And especially breeches as big as good barrels. Shoes, boots, buskins, with many pretty toys: All kind of garments for men, women, and boys. Know you me now? I thought that at the last! All acquaintance from Nichol Newfangle is not pass'd. Nichol Newfangle was and is, and ever shall be: And there are but few that are not acquainted with me. For so soon as my prenticehood was once come out, I went by and by the whole world about.

[_Here the_ DEVIL _entereth in, but he speaketh not yet_.

_Sancte benedicite_, whom have we here? Tom Tumbler, or else some dancing bear? Body of me, it were best go no near:[330] For ought that I see, it is my godfather Lucifer, Whose prentice I have been this many a day: But no more words but mum: you shall hear what he will say.

[_This name_ LUCIFER _must be written on his back and in his breast_.

LU. Ho! mine own boy, I am glad that thou art here!

NEW. He speaketh to you, sir, I pray you come near. [_Pointing to one standing by._

LU. Nay, thou art even he, of whom I am well apaid.

NEW. Then speak aloof,[331] for to come nigh I am afraid.

LU. Why so, my boy? as though thou diddest never see me.

NEW. Yes, godfather, but I am afraid it is now, as ofttimes it is with thee; For if my dame and thou hast been tumbling by the ears, As oftentimes you do, like a couple of great bears, Thou carest not whom thou killest in thy raging mind. Dost thou not remember, since thou didst bruise me behind? This hole in thy fury didst thou disclose, That now may a tent be put in, so big as thy nose. This was, when my dame called thee bottle-nosed knave, But I am like to carry the mark to my grave.

LU. O my good boy, be not afraid, For no such thing hath happened, as thou hast said. But come to me, my boy, and bless thee I will, And see that my precepts thou do fulfil.

NEW. Well, godfather, if you will say ought to me in this case, Speak, for in faith I mean not to kneel to that ill face. If our Lady of Walsingham had no fairer nose and visage, By the mass, they were fools that would go to her on pilgrimage.

LU. Well, boy, it shall not greatly skill, Whether thou stand, or whether thou kneel: Thou knowest what sciences I have thee taught, Which are able to bring the world to naught. For thou knowest that through pride from heaven I was cast, Even unto hell, wherefore see thou make haste. Such pride through new fashions in men's hearts to show That those, that use it, may have the like overthrow. From virtue procure men to set their minds aside, And wholly employ it to all sin and pride. Let thy new-fangled fashions bear such a sway, That a rascal [may] be so proud as he that best may.

NEW. Tush, tush, that is already brought to pass, For a very skipjack[332] is prouder, I swear by the mass, And seeketh to go more gayer and more brave, Than doth a lord, though himself be a knave.

LU. I can thee thank,[333] that so well thou hast play'd the part; Such as do so, shall soon feel the smart. Sith thou hast thus done, there remaineth behind, That thou in another thing show thy right kind.[334]

NEW. Then, good godfather, let me hear thy mind.

LU. Thou knowest I am both proud and arrogant, And with the proud I will ever be conversant; I cannot abide to see men, that are vicious, Accompany themselves with such as be virtuous Wherefore my mind is, sith thou thy part canst play, That thou adjoin like to like alway.

NEW. I never loved that well, I swear by this day.

LU. What, my boy?

NEW. Your mind is, sith I fast three meals every Good Friday, That I eat nothing but onions and leeks alway.

LU. Nay, my mind is, sith thou thy part canst play, That thou adjoin like to like alway.

NEW. Tush, tush, godfather Devil, for that have thou no care: Thou knowest that like will to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier. And thou shalt see, that such match I shall make anon, That thou shalt say I am thy good-good sweet-sweet godson.

Lu. I will give thee thanks, when thou hast so done.

_Here entereth in the_ COLLIER.

NEW. Well, godfather, no mo words but mum! For yonder comes the Collier, as seemeth me. By the mass, he will make a good mate for thee. [_The_ DEVIL _walketh aside_. What, old acquaintance, small remembrance? Welcome to town with a very vengeance! Now welcome, Tom Collier, give me thy hand: As very a knave as any in England.

COLL. By mass, god-a-marsy, my vreend Nichol!

NEW. By God, and welcome, gentle Tom Lick-hole!

COLL. Cham glad to zee thee merry, my vreend Nichol. And how dost nowadays, good Nichol?

NEW. And nothing else but even plain Nichol?

COLL. I pray thee, tell me how dost, good vreend Lick-hole?

NEW. It is turn'd from Nichol to Lick-hole with Tom Collier. I say no more, Tom, but hold thy nose there.

COLL. Nay, hold thy tongue, Nichol, till my nose doth come, So thou shalt take part, and I shall take some.

NEW. Well, Tom Collier, let these things pass away; Tell me what market thou hast made of thy coal to-day?

COLL. To every bushel cha zold but three peck: Lo, here be the empty zacks on my neck. Cha beguil'd the whoresons, that of me ha' bought; But to beguile me was their whole thought.

NEW. But hast thou no conscience in beguiling thy neighbour?

COLL. No, marry, so ich may gain vor my labour, It is a common trade nowadays, this is plain, To cut one another's throat for lucre and gain. A small vau't[335] as the world is now brought to pass.

NEW. Thou art a good fellow, I swear by the mass: As fit a companion for the devil as may be. Lo, godfather Devil, this fellow will match with thee. [_He taketh him by the hand._

LU. And good Tom Collier thou art welcome to me.

COLL. God amarsy, good Devil, cham glad of thy company.

LU. Like will to like, I see very well.

NEW. Godfather, wilt thou dance a little, before thee go home to hell?

LU. I am content, so that Tom Collier do agree.

COLL. I will never refuse (Devil) to dance with thee.

NEW. Then, godfather, name what the dance shall be.

LU. _Tom Collier of Croydon hath sold his coal._

NEW. Why then have at it, by my father's soul!

[NICHOL NEWFANGLE _must have a gittern or some other instrument (if it may be); but if he have not, they must dance about the place all three, and sing this song that followeth, which must be done also, although they have an instrument_.

_The Song._

_Tom Collier of Croydon hath sold his coals, And made his market to-day; And now he danceth with the Devil, For like will to like alway._

_Wherefore let us rejoice and sing, Let us be merry and glad; Sith that the Collier and the Devil This match and dance hath made._

_Now of this dance we make an end With mirth and eke with joy: The Collier and the Devil will be Much like to like alway._

NEW. Ha, ha! marry, this is trim singing, I had not thought the Devil to be so cunning; And, by the mass, Tom Collier [is] as good as he: I see that like with like will ever agree.

COLL. Farewell, Master Devil, vor ich must be gone. [_Exit._

LU. Why, then, farewell my gentle friend Tom.

NEW. Farewell, Tom Collier, a knave be thy comfort! [_Exit_ TOM COLLIER. How say'st thou, godfather? is not this trim sport?

LU. Thou art mine own boy; my blessing thou shalt have.

NEW. By my truth, godfather, that blessing I do not crave; But if you go your way, I will do my diligence As well in your absence as in your presence.

LU. But thou shalt salute me, ere I go doubtless, That in thy doings thou may'st have the better success. Wherefore kneel down and say after me: [_He kneeleth down._ When the devil will have it so, it must needs so be.

NEW. What shall I say, bottle-nosed godfather, canst thou tell?

LU. All hail, O noble prince of hell!

NEW. All my dame's cows' tail[s] fell down in the well.

LU. I will exalt thee above the clouds.

NEW. I will salt thee, and hang thee in the shrouds.

LU. Thou art the enhancer of my renown.

NEW. Thou art Hance, the hangman of Calais town.

LU. To thee be honour alone.

NEW. To thee shall come our hobbling Jone.

LU. Amen.

NEW. Amen.

LU. Now farewell, my boy, farewell heartily, Is there never a knave here will keep the Devil company?

NEW. Farewell, godfather, for thou must go alone: I pray thee come hither again anon. [_Exit_ LUCIFER. Marry, here was a benediction of the Devil's good grace: Body of me, I was so afraid, I was like to bestench the place! My buttocks made buttons of the new fashion, While the whoreson Devil was making his salutation. But, by mass, I am so glad as ever was madge mare, That the whoreson Devil is joined with the knave Collier. As fit a match as ever could be pick'd out, What sayst thou to it, Jone with the long snout? [TOM TOSSPOT _cometh in with a feather in his hat_.

But who comes yonder puffing, as hot as a black pudding. I hold twenty pound it is a ruffian, if a goose go a-gooding.

TOM. Gog's heart and his guts, is not this too bad? Blood, wounds, and nails! it will make a man mad.

NEW. I warrant you, here is a lusty one, [and] very brave: I think anon he will swear himself a knave.

TOM. Many a mile have I ridden, and many a mile have I gone: Yet can I not find for me a fit companion. Many there be, which my company would frequent, If to do, as they do, I would be content. They would have me leave off my pride and my swearing, My new-fangled fashions, and leave off this wearing. But rather than I such companions will have, I will see a thousand of them laid in their grave. _Similis similem sibi quærit_, such a one do I seek, As unto myself in every condition is like.

NEW. Sir, you are welcome; ye seem to be an honest man, And I will help you in this matter, as much as I can, If you will tarry here a while, I tell you in good sooth, I will find one as fit for you as a pudding for a friar's mouth.

TOM. I thank you, my friend, for your gentle offer to me: I pray you tell me, what your name may be.

NEW. Methink, by your apparel you have had me in regard; I pray you, of Nichol Newfangle have you never heard?

TOM. Nichol Newfangle? why, we are of old acquaintance!

NEW. By my troth, your name is quite out of my remembrance.

TOM. At your first coming into England, well I wot, You were very well acquainted with Tom Tosspot.

NEW. Tom Tosspot? _Sancti! amen!_ how you were out of my mind!

TOM. You know, when you brought into England this new-fangled kind, That Tosspots and ruffians with you were first acquainted?

NEW. It is even so, Tom Tosspot, as thou hast said.

TOM. It is an old saying, that mountains and hills never meet; But I see that men shall meet, though they do not seek; And, I promise you, more joy in my heart I have found, Than if I had gain'd an hundred pound.

NEW. And I am as glad as one had given me a groat, That I have met now with thee, Tom Tosspot. And seeing that thou wouldst a mate so fain have, I will join thee with one, that shall be as very a knave As thou art thyself, thou may'st believe me: Thou shalt see anon, what I will do for thee. For you seek for as very a knave, as you yourself are; For, like will to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier.

TOM. Indeed, Nichol Newfangle, ye say the verity, For like will to like: it will none otherwise be.

_Enter_ RALPH ROISTER.

Behold, Tom Tosspot, even in pudding time[336] Yonder cometh Ralph Roister, an old friend of mine! By the mass, for thee he is so fit a mate, As Tom and Tib for Kit and Kate, Now welcome, my friend Ralph Roister, by the mass.

RALPH. And I am glad to see thee here in this place.

NEW. Bid him welcome hark, he can play a knave's part.

TOM. My friend, you are welcome with all my heart.

RALPH. God-a-mercy, good fellow, tell me what thou art.

NEW. As very a knave as thou, though the best be too bad:

TOM. I am one, which of your company would be very glad.

RALPH. And I will not your company refuse of a certainty, So that to my conditions your manners do agree.

TOM. It should appear by your sayings, that we are of one mind, For I know that roisters and tosspots come of one kind; And as our names be much of one accord, and much like, So I think our conditions be not far unlike.

RALPH. If your name to me you will declare and show, You may in this matter my mind the sooner know.

TOM. Few words are best among friends, this is true; Wherefore I shall briefly show my name unto you. Tom Tosspot it is, it need not to be painted: Wherefore I with Ralph Roister must needs be acquainted.

NEW. In faith, Ralph Roister, if thou wilt be ruled by me, We will dance hand in hand, like knaves all three: It is as unpossible for thee his company to deny, As it is for a camel to creep through a needle's eye. Therefore bid him welcome, like a knave as thou art.

RALPH. By my troth, Tom Tosspot, you are welcome with all my heart.

TOM. I thank you that my acquaintance ye will take in good part. And by my troth, I will be your sworn brother:

NEW. Tush, like will to like: it will be none other. For the virtuous will always virtue's company seek out: A gentleman never seeketh the company of a lout; And roisters and ruffians do sober company eschew: For like will ever to like, this is most true.

RALPH. Now, friend Tom Tosspot, seeing that we are brethren sworn, And neither of our companies from other may be forborne, The whole trade of my life to thee I will declare.

TOM. And to tell you my property also I shall not spare.

NEW. Then, my masters, if you will awhile abide it, Ye shall see two such knaves so lively described That, if hell should be raked even by and by indeed, Such another couple cannot be found, I swear by my creed. Go to, sirs, say on your whole minds, And I shall paint you out in your right kinds. First, Tom Tosspot, plead thou thy cause and thy name, And I will sit in this chair, and give sentence on the same. I will play the judge, and in this matter give judgment: How say you, my masters, are you not so content?

RALPH. By my troth, for my part, thereto I do agree.

TOM. I were to blame, if any fault should be in me.

NEW. Then that I be in office, neither of you do grudge?

BOTH. No, indeed.

NEW. Where learn'd you to stand capp'd before a judge? You souterly[337] knaves, show you all your manners at once?

RALPH. Why, Nichol, all we are content.

NEW. And am I plain Nichol? and yet it is in my arbitrement To judge which of you two is the verier knave. I am Master Nichol Newfangle, both gay and brave; For, seeing you make me your judge, I trow, I shall teach you both your liripup[338] to know. [_He fighteth._

TOM. Stay yourself, sir, I pray you heartily.

RALPH. I pray you, be content, and we will be more mannerly.

NEW. Nay, I cannot put up such an injury; For, seeing I am in office, I will be known therefore: Fend your heads, sirs, for I will to it more once. [_He fighteth again._

RALPH. I pray you be content, good gentle Master Nichol:

TOM. I never saw the like, by Gog's soul.

NEW. Well, my masters, because you do intend To learn good manners, and your conditions to amend, I will have but one fit more, and so make an end.

RALPH. I pray you, sir, let us no more contend.

NEW. Marry, this hath breathed me very well: Now let me hear, how your tales ye can tell. And I (master judge) will so bring to pass, That I will judge who shall be knave of clubs at Christmas.[339]

TOM. Gog's wounds, I am like Phalaris, that made a bull of brass--

NEW. Thou art like a false knave now, and evermore was.

TOM. Nay, I am like Phalaris, that made a bull of brass, As a cruel torment for such as did offend, And he himself first therein put was: Even so are we brought now to this end, In ordaining him a judge, who will be honoured as a god, So for our own tails we have made a rod.

RALPH. And I am served as Haman, that prepar'd--

NEW. How was he served, I pray thee, do me tell?

RALPH. Who I speak of? thou knowest well.

NEW. Thou art served as Harry Hangman, captain of the black guard.

RALPH. Nay, I am served as Haman, that prepared A high pair of gallows for Mordecai the Jew, And was the first himself that thereon was hanged: So I feel the smart of mine own rod, this is true. But hereafter I will learn to be wise, And ere I leap once, I will look twice.

NEW. Well, Tom Tosspot, first let me hear thee. How canst thou prove thyself a verier knave than he?

TOM. You know that Tom Tosspot men do me call?

NEW. A knave thou hast always been, and evermore shall.

TOM. My conditions, I am sure, ye know as well as I.

NEW. A knave thou was born, and so thou shalt die.

TOM. But that you are a judge, I would say unto you, Knaves are Christian men, else you were a Jew.

NEW. He calls me knave by craft, do you not see? Sirrah, I will remember it, when you think not on me. Well, say what thou canst for thine own behoof; If thou provest thyself the verier knave by good proof, Thou must be the elder brother, and have the patrimony; And when he hath said, then do thou reply. Even Thomas-a-Waterings or Tyburn Hill[340] To the falsest thief of you both, by my father's will!

RALPH. I pray you, sir, what is that patrimony?

NEW. I pray you leave your courtesy, and I will tell you by and by. If he be the more knave, the patrimony he must have, But thou shalt have it, if thou prove thyself the verier knave; A piece of ground it is, that of Beggars' manor do[th] hold, And whoso deserves it, shall have it, ye may be bold-- Call'd Saint Thomas-a-Waterings or else Tyburn Hill, Given and so bequeathed to the falsest by will.

TOM. Then I trow I am he, that this patrimony shall possess, For I Tom Tosspot do use this trade doubtless: From morning till night I sit tossing the black bowl,[341] Then come I home, and pray for my father's soul. Saying my prayers with wounds, blood, guts, and heart: Swearing and staring, thus play I my part. If any poor man have in a whole week earn'd one groat, He shall spend it in one hour in tossing the pot. I use to call servants and poor men to my company, And make them spend all they have unthriftily; So that my company they think to be so good, That in short space their hair grows through their hood.

NEW. But will no gossips keep thee company now and then?

TOM. Tush, I am acquainted with many a woman, That with me will sit in every house and place; But then their husbands had need fend their face. For when they come home, they will not be afeard, To shake the goodman, and sometime shave his beard. And as for Flemish[342] servants I have such a train, That will quass and carouse, and therein spend their gain. From week to week I have all this company; Wherefore I am worthy to have the patrimony.

NEW. Thus thou may'st be called a knave in grain; And where knaves are scant, thou shalt go for twain. But now, Ralph Roister, let me hear what thou canst say.

RALPH. You know that Ralph Roister I am called alway, And my conditions in knavery so far doth surmount, That to have this patrimony I make mine account, For I entice young gentlemen all virtue to eschew, And to give themselves to riotousness, this is true. Serving-men also by me are so seduced, That all in bravery their minds are confused. Then, if they have not themselves to maintain, To pick and to steal they must be fain. And, I may say to you, I have such a train, That sometime I pitch a field on Salisbury plain.[343] And much more, if need were, I could say verily: Wherefore I am worthy to have the patrimony.

NEW. He, that shall judge this matter, had need have more wit than I; But, seeing you have referred it unto my arbitrement, In faith I will give such equal judgment, That both of you shall be well-pleased and content.

TOM. Nay, I have not done, for I can say much more.

NEW. Well, I will not have you contend any more. But this farm, which to Beggars' manor doth appertain, I will equally divide between you twain. Are you not content, that so it shall be?

BOTH. As it pleaseth you, so shall we agree.

NEW. Then see, that anon ye come both unto me.

RALPH. Sir, for my part, I thank you heartily: I promised of late to come unto a company, Which at Hob Filcher's for me do remain: God be with you, and anon I will come again.

TOM. Farewell, brother Ralph, I will come to you anon. [_Exit_ TOM.[344]

NEW. Come again, for you shall not so suddenly be gone.

_Here entereth_ HANCE _with a pot, and singeth as followeth_.

_See ye not who comes yonder? an old friend of yours: One that is ready to quass at all hours._

[_He singeth the first two lines, and speaketh the rest as stammeringly as may be._

_Quass in heart, and quass again, and quass about the house-a: And toss the black bowl to and fro, and I brinks[345] them all carouse-a._

Be go-go-gog's nowns, ch-ch-cha drunk zo-zo-much to-day: That be-be-mass, ch-cham a-most drunk, ich da-da-dare zay. Chud spe-spe-spend a goo-goo-good groat: Tha-that ich cud vi-vind my ca-ca-captain To-To-Tom Tosspot. [_He setteth him in the chair._

NEW. Sit down, good Hance, lest thou lie on the ground, He knoweth not Tom Tosspot, I dare jeopard twenty pound.

TOM.[346] He will know me by and by, I hold you a crown. How dost thou, servant Hance? how comes this to pass?

HANCE. Ma-ma-master To-To-Tom, ch-ch-cham glad by-by mass-- [_He drinketh._ Ca-ca-carouse to-to-to thee, go-go-good Tom.

NEW. Hold up, good Hance, I will pledge thee anon.

RALPH. Well, there is no remedy, but I must be gone.

HANCE. Ta-ta-tarry, good vellow, a wo-wo-word or twain: If tho-tho-thou thyself do-do-do not come again. Bi-bi-bid Philip Fleming co-co-come hither to me, Vo-vo-vor he must lead me home, now ich do ze.

RALPH. Then, farewell, Hance, I will remember thy errant: He will be here by and by, I dare be his warrant. [_Exit_ RALPH ROISTER.

NEW. Farewell, Ralph Roister, with all my heart: Come anon, and I will deliver thee thy part.

TOM. Now, Hance, right now thou drank'st to me, Drink again, and I will pledge thee.

HANCE. _Omni po-po-po-tenti_, all the po-po-pot is empty.

NEW. Why, Hance, thou hast Latin in thy belly methink: I thought there was no room for Latin, there is so much drink!

HANCE. Ich le-le-learned zome La-La-Latin, when ich was a la-la-lad: Ich ca-ca-can zay _Tu es nebulo_, ich learn'd of my dad. And ich could once he-he-help the p-p-priest to say mass: By giss, ma-man, ich ha' been cu-cu-cunning, when 'twas.

TOM. I knew Hance, when he was, as he say'th: For he was once a scholar in good faith; But through my company he was withdrawn from thence, Through his riot and excessive expense. Unto this trade, which now you do in him see: So that now he is wholly addicted to follow me; And one of my guard he is now become. Well, Hance, well, thou wast once a white son![347]

NEW. Now, so God help me, thou art a pretty fellow, Hance; A clean-legged gentleman, and as proper a paunch, As any I know between this and France.

HANCE. Yes, by-by-by God, ich co'd once dance.

NEW. I speak of no dancing, little-bellied Hance; But, seeing thou say'st thou canst so well dance, Let me see where thou canst dance lively.

HANCE. Tha-tha-that ca-ca-can I do vull trimly. [_He danceth as evil-favoured as may be demised, and in the dancing he falleth down, and when he riseth, he must groan._

NEW. Rise again, Hance, thou hadst almost got a fall: But thou dancest trimly, legs and all. Body of me, Hance, how doth thy belly, canst thou tell? By the mass, he hath beray'd his breeches, methink by the smell.

TOM. I will help thee up, Hance, give me thy hand. [_He riseth._

HANCE. By-by mass, ch-ch-chwas almost down, I think ve-verily.

NEW. Wast thou almost down, Hance? marry, so think I, But thou art sick, methink by the groaning: He grunts like a bear, when he is a-moaning. Hark, how his head aches, and how his pulses do beat: I think he will be hang'd, his belly is so great.

HANCE. Go-Go-God-amercy, good Tom, with all my heart:

NEW. If thou canst not leap, Hance, let me see thee drink a quart, And get thee out abroad into the air.

TOM. Tush, he had more need to sleep in this chair. Sit down, Hance, and thou shalt see anon, Philip Fleming will come to fetch thee home. [HANCE _sitteth in the chair, and snorteth, as though he were fast asleep_.

NEW. I pray thee, Tom Tosspot, is this one of thy men?

TOM. He is a companion of mine now and then.

NEW. By the faith of my body, such carpenter, such chips, And as the wise man said, such lettuce, such lips. For, like master, like man: like tutor, like scholar; And, like will to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier.

TOM. It is no remedy, for it must needs so be; Like will to like, you may believe me. [PHILIP FLEMING _entereth with a pot in his hand_.

NEW. Lo, where Philip Fleming cometh even in pudding time!

TOM. He bringeth in his hand either good ale or else good wine.

PHILIP FLEMING _singeth these four lines following_:

_Troll the bowl and drink to me, and troll the bowl again, And put a brown toast in [the] pot for Philip Fleming's brain. And I shall toss it to and fro, even round about the house-a: Good hostess, now let it be so, I brink them all carouse-a._

PHILIP. Marry, here is a pot of noppy good ale. As clear as crystal pure and stale. Now a crab in the fire were worth a good groat, That I might quass with my captain Tom Tosspot. What? I can no sooner wish, but by and by I have! God save mine eyesight, methink I see a knave. What, captain! how goeth the world with you? Why, now I see the old proverb to be true; Like will to like, both with Christian, Turk, and Jew. Marry, Philip, even as I was wont to do:

PHILIP. Ralph Roister told me that I should find Hance here, Where is he, that he doth not appear?

NEW. I hold twenty pound the knave is blind. Turn about, Philip Fleming, and look behind. Hast thou drunk so much that thy eyes be out? Lo, how he snoreth like a lazy lout. Go to him, for he sleepeth sound: Two such paunches in all England can scant be found.

PHILIP. Why, Hance, art thou in thy prayers so devoutly? Awake, man, and we two will quass together stoutly.

HANCE. _Domine, dominus noster_; Me-think ich a spied three knaves on a cluster.

NEW. Stay a while, for he sayeth his _pater noster_.

HANCE. _Sanctum benedictum_, what have I dreamed? By Gog's nowns, chad thought ich had been in my bed. Chad dreamed such a dream, as thou wilt marvel to hear, Me-thought I was drowned in a barrel of beer. And by and by the barrel was turned to a ship, Which me-thought the wind made nicely to skip. And I did sail therein from Flanders to France: At last ich was brought hither among a sort of knaves by chance.

NEW. Lo, Hance, here is Philip Fleming come now, We will go drink together now, how say'st thou?

HANCE. I pray thee, good Vilip, now lead me away:

PHILIP. Give me thy hand, and I will thee stay.

HANCE. How say you, Master Nichol, will you keep us company?

NEW. Go before, Master Lick-hole,[348] and I will come by and by. Mates matched together, depart you three; I will come after, you may believe me. [_They three are gone together, and_ NICHOL NEWFANGLE _remaineth behind, but he must not speak till they be within_.]

NEW. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

_He sings._

_Now three knaves are gone, and I am left alone, Myself here to solace; Well done, gentle Jone, why begin you to moan? Though they be gone, I am in place._

_And now will I dance, and now will I prance, For why I have none other work: Snip snap, butter is no bone meat: Knave's flesh is no pork._

_Hey tisty-toisty, an owl is a bird, Jackanapes hath an old face; You may believe me at one bare word, How like you, this merry case?_

_A piece of ground they think they have found, I will tell you what it is: For I them told of Beggars' manor it did hold, A staff and a wallet i-wis._

_Which in short space, even in this place, Of me they shall receive: For when that their drift hath spent all their thrift, Their minds I shall deceive._

_I trow you shall see more knaves come to me, Which whensoever they do, They shall have their meed, as they deserve indeed, As you shall see shortly these two._

_When they do pretend to have had a good end, Mark well, then, what shall ensue: A bag and a bottle, or else a rope knottle, This shall they prove too true._

_But mark well this game, I see this gear frame; Lo, who cometh now in such haste? It is Cuthbert Cutpurse And Pierce Pickpurse, Give room now a little cast._

_Here entereth_ CUTHBERT CUTPURSE _and_ PIERCE PICKPURSE. [CUTHBERT CUTPURSE _must have in his hand a purse of money or counters in it, and a knife in one hand and a whetstone in the other; and_ PIERCE _must have money or counters in his hand and jingle it, as he cometh in_.]

CUTH. By Gog's wounds, it doth me good to the heart, To see how cleanly I play'd this part. While they stood thrusting together in the throng, I began to go them among; And with this knife, which here you do see, I cut away this purse cleanly.

NEW. See to your purses, my masters, and be ruled by me, For knaves are abroad, therefore beware. You are warn'd: and ye take not heed, I do not care. [_Aside._

PIERCE. And also, so soon as I had espied A woman in the throng, whose purse was fat, I took it by the strings, and cleanly it untied: She knew no more of it than Gib our cat. Yet at the last she hied apace, And said, that the money in my hand she saw. Thou whore, said I, I will have an action of the case, And seeing thou say'st so, I will try the law.

CUTHB. How say'st thou, Pierce Pickpurse, art thou not agreed These two booties equally to divide? Then let us count the total sum, And divide it equally, when we have done.

NEW. My masters, here is a good fellow, that would fain have some.

CUTHB. What, Nichol Newfangle, be you here? So God help me, I am glad with all my heart.

PIERCE. Then, ere we depart, we will have some cheer, And of this booty you shall have your part.

NEW. I thank you both even heartily, And I will do somewhat for you by and by: Are not you two sworn brothers in every booty?

BOTH. Yes, that we are truly.

NEW. Then can I tell you news, which you do not know: Such news as will make you full glad, I trow. But first tell me this, Pierce Pickpurse, Whether is the elder, thou or Cuthbert Cutpurse?

PIERCE. In faith, I think we are both of one age well nigh.

CUTHB. I suppose there is no great difference, truly: But wherefore ask you? I pray you, tell me why?

NEW. I will tell you the cause without any delay: For a piece of land is fallen, as I hear say, Which by succession must come to one of you: A proper plot it is, this is most true. For thou, Cuthbert Cutpurse, was Cuthbert Cutthroat's son, And thou, Pierce Pickpurse, by that time thou hast done, Canst derive thy pedigree from an ancient house: Thy father was Tom Thief, and thy mother was Tib Louse. This piece of land, whereto you inheritors are, Is called the land of the two-legged mare;[349] In which piece of ground there is a mare indeed, Which is the quickest mare in England for speed. Therefore, if you will come anon unto me, I will put you in possession, and that you shall see.

CUTHB. I cannot believe that such luck is happen'd to us.

NEW. It is true, that I to you do discuss.

PIERCE. If you will help us to this piece of ground, Both of us to you shall think ourselves bound.

NEW. Yes, in faith, you shall have it, you may believe me; I will be as good as my word, as shortly you shall see.

CUTHB. Then, brother Pierce, we may think ourselves happy, That ever we were with him acquainted.

PIERCE. Even so we may of a certainty, That such good luck unto us hath happened. But, brother Cuthbert, is it not best To go in for awhile, and distribute this booty? Whereas we three will make some feast, And quass together, and be merry.

CUTHB. What say you, Nichol?

NEW. I do agree.

_Here entereth_ VIRTUOUS LIVING.

But, soft, awhile be ruled by me, Look, yonder a little do you not see, Who cometh yonder? awhile we will abide; Let him say his pleasure, and we will stand aside.

V. L. O gracious God, how wonderful are thy works, How highly art thou of all men to be praised: Of Christians, Saracens, Jews, and also Turks, Thy glory ought to be erected and raised. What joys hast thou prepared for the virtuous life, And such as have thy name in love and in awe; Thou hast promised salvation to man, child, and wife, That thy precepts observe, and keep well thy law. And to the virtuous life what doth ensue? _Virtutis premium honor_, Tully doth say; Honour is thy guerdon for virtue due, And eternal salvation at the latter day. How clear in conscience is the virtuous life! The vicious hath consciences so heavy as lead. Their conscience and their doing is alway at strife; And altogether they live yet to sin they are dead.

NEW. God give you good-morrow, sir, how do you to-day?

V. L. God bless you also both now and alway. I pray you, with me have you any acquaintance?

NEW. Yea, marry, I am an old friend of yours, perchance.

V. L. If it be so, I marvel very much, That the dulness of my wit should be such, That you should be altogether out of my memory. Tell me your name, I pray you heartily.

NEW. By the faith of my body, you will appose me by and by; But, in faith, I was but little when I was first born; And my mother to tell me my name thought it scorn.

V. L. I will never acquaint me with such in any place, As are ashamed of their names, by God's grace.

NEW. I remember my name now, it is come to my mind: I have mused much, before I could it find. Nichol Newfangle it is; I am your old friend.

V. L. My friend? marry, I do thee defy, And all such company I do deny. For thou art a companion for roisters and ruffians, And not fit for any virtuous companions.

NEW. And, in faith, art thou at plain defiance? Then I see I must go to mine old acquaintance. Well, Cuthbert Cutpurse and [Pierce] Pickpurse, we must go together; For, like will to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier.

V. L. Indeed, thou say'st true, it must needs be so, For like will ever to his like go; And my conditions and thine so far do disagree, That no familiarity between us may be. For thou nourishest vice both day and night: My name is Virtuous Life, and in virtue is my delight. So vice and virtue cannot together be united; But the one the other hath always spited. For as the water quencheth fire, and the flame doth suppress, So virtue hateth vice, and seeketh a redress.

PIERCE. Tush, if he be so dangerous, let us not him esteem, And he is not for our company, I see very well; For if he be so holy, as he doth seem, We and he differ as much as heaven and hell.

NEW. You know, that like will to like alway, And you see how holily he is now bent: To seek his company why do we assay?

PIERCE. I promise you, do you what you will, I do not consent: For I pass not for him, be he better or be he worse.

NEW. Friend, if you be wise, beware your purse. For this fellow may do you good when all comes to all; If you chance to lose your purse in Cutpurse Hall. But, in faith, fare ye well, sith of our company you be weary: We will go to a place, where we will be merry. For I see your company and ours do far differ; For like will to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier.

CUTHB. Well, let us be gone, and bid him adieu: For I see this proverb proveth very true.

PIERCE. Then let us go to Hob Filcher's house, Where we will be merry, and quass carouse. And there shall we find Tom Tosspot, with other mo, Meet makes for us: therefore let us go. Then, seeing we are all of one mind, Let us three go, and leave a knave here behind. [_Exeunt_ NEW., CUTHB., _and_ PIERCE.

_They sing this song[350] as they go out from the place._

_Good hostess, lay a crab in the fire, and broil a mess of souse-a: That we may toss the bowl to and fro, and brinks them all carouse-a._

_And I will pledge Tom Tosspot, till I be drunk as a mouse-a: Whoso will drink to me all day, I will pledge them all carouse-a._

_Then we will not spare for any cost, so long as we be in house-a: Then, hostess, fill the pot again, for I pledge them all carouse-a._ [_When this is spoken,_ V. LIVING _must pause a while, and then say as followeth_.

O wicked imps, that have such delight, In evil conversation wicked and abhoninable: And from virtue's lore withdraw yourselves quite, And lean to vice most vile and detestable. How prone and ready we are vice to ensue? How deaf we be good counsel to hear? How strange we make it our hearts to renew? How little we have God's threats in fear? Saint Augustine say'th in his fifth book, _De Civitate Dei, Conjunctæ sunt ædes Virtutis et Honoris_, say'th he; The houses of virtue and honour joined together be. And so the way to honour's house is disposed, That through virtue's house he must needs pass: Or else from honour he shall soon be deposed, And brought to that point, that he before was. But if through virtue honour be attained: The path to salvation may soon be gained. Some there be, that do fortune prefer; Some esteem pleasure more than virtuous life. But in my opinion all such do err; For virtue and fortune be not at strife. Where virtue is, fortune must needs grow: But fortune without virtue has soon the overthrow. Thrice happy are they, that do virtue embrace, For a crown of glory shall be their reward: Satan at no time may him anything deface, For God over him will have such regard, That his foes he shall soon tread under foot; And by God's permission pluck them up by the root. It booteth not vice against virtue to stir, For why vice is feeble and of no force: But _virtus eterna preclaraque habetur_. Wherefore I would all men would have remorse, And eschew evil company vile and pernicious: Delight in virtuous men, and hate the vicious. And as the end of virtue is honour and felicity, So mark well the end of wickedness and vice! Shame in this world and pain eternally, Wherefore you, that are here, learn to be wise, And the end of the one with the other weigh, By that time you have heard the end of this play. But why do I thus much say in the praise of virtue, Sith the thing praiseworthy needs no praise at all? It praiseth itself sufficiently, this is true, Which chaseth away sin as bitter as gall? And where virtue is, it need not to be praised, For the renown thereof shall soon be raised.

_Intrat_ GOOD FAME.

G. F. O Virtuous Life, God rest you merry, To you am I come for to attend.

V. L. Good Fame, ye are welcome heartily. I pray you, who did you hither send?

G. F. Even God's Promise hath sent me unto you, Willing me from you not to depart: But always to give attendance due, And in no wise from you to start. For God of his promise hath most liberally Sent me Good Fame to you Virtuous Life; Whereby it may be seen manifestly, God's great zeal to virtue both in man and wife. For why they may be sure, that I, Good Fame, From the virtuous life will never stray: Whereby honour and renown may grow to their name, And eternal salvation at the latter day.

V. L. God is gracious and full of great mercy To such as in virtue set their whole delight: Pouring his benefits on them abundantly. O man, what, meanest thou with thy Saviour to fight? Come unto him, for he is full of mercy, The fountain of virtue and of godliness the spring: Come unto him, and thou shall live everlastingly; He doth not require thee any price to bring. _Venite ad me omnes qui laboratis et onerati Estis, et ego refossilabo vos._ Come unto me, ye that travail (say'th he) And such as with sin are heavily loden: And of me myself refreshed you shall be. Repent, repent, your sins shall be downtrodden-- Well, Good Fame, sith God of his goodness Hath hither sent you on me to attend, Let us give thank to him with humbleness, And persuade with all men their lives to amend.

G. F. Virtuous Life, I do thereto agree, For it becometh all men for to do so.

_Intrat_ GOD'S PROMISE, _and_ HONOUR _with him_.

But, behold, yonder cometh God's Promise, as seemeth me; And Honour with him cometh also.

V. L. Such godly company pleaseth me very well; For vicious men from our company we should expel.

G. P. God rest you merry both, and God be your guide.

HONOUR. We are now come to the place where we must abide. For from you, Virtuous Life, I Honour may not slide.

G. P. I am God's Promise, which is a thing eterne, And nothing more surer than his promise may be: A sure foundation to such as will learn God's precepts to observe: then must they needs see Honour in this world, and at last a crown of glory; Ever in joy and mirth, and never to be sorry. Wherefore, O Virtuous Life, to you we do repair, As messengers from God, his promise to fulfil; And therefore sit you down now in this chair, For to endue you with honour is God's promise and will. [VIRTUOUS LIVING _sitteth down in the chair_.

HONOUR. Now take this sword in hand as a token of victory, This crown from my head to you I shall give: I crown you with it as one most worthy, And see that all vice ye do punish and grieve, For in this world I Honour with you shall remain, And Good Fame from you cannot refrain: And after this life a greater crown you shall attain.

G. F. What heart can think, or what tongue can express The great goodness of God, which is almighty? Who seeth this, and seeks not vice to suppress, Honour, Good Fame, yea, and life everlastingly? Thy name be praised, O Lord, therefore, And to thee only be glory and honour! Sith God's Promise hath brought honour into place, I will for a while leave you three alone: For I must depart now for a little space; But I shall come to you again anon. [_Exit_ GOOD FAME.

V. L. God's Promise is infallible, his word is most true; And to ground thereon a man may be bold: As Scripture doth testify and declare unto you, On which foundation your building you may behold. For virtuous rulers the fruit of felicity do reap: And reward of fame and honour to themselves they heap.

HONOUR. Seeing we have now endued him with the crown and the sword, Which is due unto him by God's promise and word, Let us three sing unto God with one accord.

G. P. To sing praises unto God it liketh well me.

V. L. And I also with you do thereto agree. A pleasant noise to God's ears it must needs bring, That God's Promise, Honour, and Virtuous Life do sing.

_They sing this Song following._

_Life is but short, hope not therein; Virtue immortal seek for to win. Whoso to virtue doth apply, Good fame and honour must obtain. And also live eternally, For virtuous life this is the gain. Life is but, &c._

_God's promise sure will never fail; His holy word is a perfect ground; The fort of virtue, O man, assail, Where treasure always doth abound. Life is but, etc._

_To thee alone be laud and praise, O Lord, that are so merciful; Who never failed at all assays, To aid and help the pitiful. Life is but, etc._ [_Exeunt omnes._

[_Here entereth in_ NICHOL NEWFANGLE, _and bringeth in with him a bag, a staff, a bottle, and two halters, going about the place, showing it unto the audience, and singeth thus:_]

Trim mer-chandise, trim trim: trim mer-chandise, trim trim.

[_He may sing this as oft as he thinketh good._]

Marry, here is merchandise, who so list for to buy any: Come, see for your love, and buy for your money, This is land, which I must distribute anon, According to my promise, ere I be gone, For why Tom Tosspot, since he went hence, Hath increased a noble just unto nine-pence,[351] And Ralph Roister, it may no otherwise be chosen, Hath brought a pack of wool to a fair pair of hosen. This is good thrift, sirs, learn it who shall, And now a couple of fellows are come from Cutpurse Hall; And there have they brought many a purse to wrack. Lo, here is gear that will make their necks for to crack. For I promised Tom Tosspot and Ralph Roister a piece of land: Lo, here it is ready in my right hand: A wallet and a bottle; but it is not to be sold. I told them before, that of Beggar's Manor it did hold, And for Cuthbert Cutpurse and Pierce Pickpurse here is good fare: This is the land of the two-legged mare, Which I to them promised, and [to] divide it with discretion: Shortly you shall see I will put them in possession. How like you this merchandise, my masters? Is it not trim? A wallet, a bottle, a staff, and a string, How say'st thou, Wat Waghalter? Is not this a trim thing? In faith, Ralph Roister is in good case, as I suppose; For he hath lost all that he hath, save his doublet and his hose, And Tom Tosspot is even at that same point; For he would lose a limb or jeopard a joint; But, behold, yonder they come both, now all is gone and spent, I know their errand, and what is their intent.

[_Here entereth in_ RALPH ROISTER _and_ TOM TOSSPOT _in their doublet and their hose, and no cap nor hat on their head, saving a nightcap, because the strings of the beards may not be seen, and_ RALPH ROISTER _must curse and ban as he cometh in._[352]]

RALPH. Well, be as be may, is no banning; But I fear that, when that this gear shall come to scanning, The land to the which we did wholly trust: Shall be gone from us, and we cast in the dust.

TOM. Gog's blood, if Nichol Newfangle serve us so, We may say, that we have had a shrewd blow; For all that I had is now lost at the dice, My sword, my buckler, and all at sink and cise;[353] My coat, my cloak, and my hat also; And now in my doublet and my hose I am fain to go. Therefore, if Nichol Newfangle help not now at a pinch I am undone, for of land I have not an inch.

RALPH. By Gog's wounds, even so is it now with me, I am in my doublet and my hosen, as you see: For all that I had doth lie at pledge for ale. By the mass, I am as bare as my nail, Not a cross of money to bless me have I; But I trow we shall meet Nichol Newfangle by and by. [NICHOL NEWFANGLE _comes forward_.

NEW. Turn hither, turn hither, I say, sir knave, For I am even he, that you so fain would have.

RALPH. What, Master Nichol, are you here all this while?

NEW. I think I am here, or else I do thee beguile.

TOM. So God help me, I am glad that you be in sight; For in faith your presence hath made my heart light.

NEW. I will make it lighter anon, I trow. [_Aside._ My masters, I have a piece of land for you, do you know?

RALPH. Marry, that is the cause of our hither resort. For now we are void of all joy and comfort.

TOM. You see in what case we now stand in, And you heard us also even now, I ween, Wherefore, good Master Nichol, let us have this land now, And we shall think ourselves much bound unto you.

NEW. You know, that I this land must divide, Which I shall do; but a while abide. All thy goods for ale at pledge be (_to Tom_), And thou (_to Ralph_) say'st a pair of dice have made thee free.[354] First, Ralph Roister, come thou unto me, Because thou hast lost every whit at dice, [_He giveth the bag to_ R. ROISTER, _and the bottle to_ TOM TOSSPOT.

Take there this bag to carry bread and cheese, And take thou this bottle, and mark what I shall say: If he chance to eat the bread and cheese by the way, Do thou in this matter follow my counsel, Drink up the drink, and knock him about the head with the bottle; And because that Ralph is the elder knave, This staff also of me he shall have.[355]

RALPH. But where is the land, that to us you promised?

NEW. In faith, good fellows, my promise is performed.

TOM. By Gog's blood, I thought that it would be so.

NEW. This must you have, whe'r you will or no, Or else fall to work with shovel and with spade; For begging now must be your chiefest trade.

RALPH. Gog's heart, can I away[356] with this life? To beg my bread from door to door? I will rather cut my throat with a knife, Than I will live thus beggarly and poor. By Gog's blood, rather than I will it assay, I will rob and steal, and keep the highway.

TOM. Well, Ralph Roister, seeing we be in this misery, And labour we cannot, and to beg it is a shame; Yet better it is to beg most shamefully, Than to be hanged, and to thievery[357] ourselves frame.

NEW. Now, my masters, learn to beware; But like will to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier.

RALPH. O Lord, why did not I consider before, What should of roisting be the final end. Now the horse is stolen, I shut the stable-door. Alas, that I had time my life to amend! Time I have, I must needs confess; But yet in misery that time must be spent: Seeing that my life I would not redress; But wholly in riot I have it all spent; Wherefore I am now brought to this exigent. But the time pass'd cannot be called, this is no nay. Wherefore all here take example by me: Time tarrieth no man, but passeth still away; Take time, while time is, for time doth flee; Use well your youthly years, and to virtuous lore agree. For if I to virtue had any respect, This misfortune to me could not have chanced; But because unto vice I was a subject, To no good fame may I be now advanced. My credit also is now quite stanched. Wherefore I would all men my woful case might see, That I to them a mirror might be.

TOM. O all ye parents, to you I do say: Have respect to your children and for their education, Lest you answer therefore at the latter day, And your meed shall be eternal damnation. If my parents had brought me up in virtue and learning, I should not have had this shameful end; But all licentiously was my up-bringing, Wherefore learn by me your faults to amend. But neither in virtue, learning, or yet honest trade, Was I bred up my living for to get: Therefore in misery my time away must vade; For vicious persons behold now the net. I am in the snare, I am caught with the gin; And now it is too late, I cannot again begin.

NEW. This gear would have been seen to before, But now, my masters, you are on the score. Be packing, I say, and get you hence; Learn to say: I pray, good master, give me nine-pence.

RALPH. Thou, villain, art only the causer of this woe; Therefore thou shalt have somewhat of me, or ere I go.

TOM. Thou hast given me a bottle here; But thou shalt drink first of it, be it ale or beer.

[RALPH ROISTER _beateth him with his staff, and_ TOM TOSSPOT _with his bottle_.

RALPH. Take this of me, before I go hence.

TOM. Take that of me in part of recompense.

NEW. Now am I driven to play the master of fence. Come no near[358] me, you knaves, for your life, [_They have him down, and beat him, and he crieth for help._

Lest I stick you both with this woodknife. Back, I say! back, thou sturdy beggar! Body of me, they have ta'en away my dagger.

RALPH. Now, in faith, you whoreson, take heed, I you advise, How you do any more young men entice.

TOM. Now, farewell, thou hast thy just meed.

Ralph. Now we go abegging, God send us good speed!

[RALPH ROISTER _and_ TOM TOSSPOT _go out, and_ SEVERITY, _the judge, entereth, and_ NICHOL NEWFANGLE _lieth on the ground groaning_.

SEV. That upright judgment without partiality Be minist'red duly to ill-doers and offenders! I am one, whose name is Severity, Appointed a judge to suppress evil-doers, Not for hatred nor yet for malice: But to advance virtue and suppress vice. Wherefore Isodorus these words doth say: _Non est Judex, si in eo non est Justitia!_ He is not a judge that Justice doth want, But he that truth and equity doth plant.

Fully also these words doth express, Which words are very true doubtless. _Semper iniquus est judex, qui aut invidet aut favet_: They are unrightful judges all, That are either envious or else partial.

NEW. Help me up, good sir, for I have got a fall.

SEV. What cause have you, my friend, thus heavily to groan?

NEW. O sir, I have good cause to make great moan; Here were two fellows but right now, That (I think) have killed me, I make God a vow. I pray you, tell me, am I alive or am I dead?

SEV. Fellow, it is more meet for thee to be in thy bed, Than to lie here in such sort as thou dost.

NEW. In faith, I should have laid some of the knaves in the dust, If I had had your sword right now in presence; I would have had a leg or an arm, ere they had gone hence.

SEV. Who is it that hath done thee this injury?

NEW. A couple of beggars have done me this villainy.

SEV. I see, if severity should not be executed, One man should not live by another. If such injuries should not be confuted, The child would regard neither father nor mother. Give me thy hand, and I shall help thee.

NEW. Hold fast your sword then, I pray you heartily. [_He riseth._

SEV. Now, friend, it appeareth unto me, That you have been a traveller of the country And such as travel do hear of things done, As well in the country, as the city of London. How say you, my friend, can you tell any news

NEW. That can I, for I came lately from the stews. There are knaves abroad, you may believe me, As in this place shortly you shall see. No more words, but mum, and stand awhile aside: Yonder cometh two knaves; therefore abide.

_Intrat_ C. CUTPURSE _and_ PIERCE PICKPURSE.

CUTHB. By Gog's wounds, if he help not now, we are undone: By the mass, for my part, I wot not whither to run.

PIERCE. We be so pursu'd on every side That, by Gog's heart, I wot not where to abide.

CUTHB. Every constable is charged to make privy search; So that, if we may be got, we shall be thrown over the perch.

PIERCE. If Nichol Newfangle help us not now in our need, We are like in our business full evil to speed. Therefore let us make no delay, But seek him out of hand, and be gone away.

SEVERITY _and_ N. NEWFANGLE _come forward_.

NEW. Soft, my masters, awhile I you pray; For I am here, for whom you do seek; For you know that like will never from like. I promised you of late a piece of land, Which by and by shall fall into your hand.

CUTHB. What, Master Nichol! how do you to-day?

PIERCE. For the passion of God, Master Nichol, help to rid us away; And help us to the land, whereof you did say, That we might make money of it by and by; For out of the realm we purpose to fly.

NEW. Marry, I will help you, I swear by All Hallows: And will not part from you, till you come to the gallows. Lo, noble Severity, these be they without doubt. On whom this rumour of thievery[359] is gone about, Therefore, my masters, here is the snare, That shall lead you to the land, called the two-legged mare. [_He putteth about each of their necks a halter._

SEV. My friend, hold them fast even in that plight.

NEW. Then come, and help me with your sword; for I fear they will fight.

SEV. Strive not, my masters; for it shall not avail; But awhile give ear unto my counsel. Your own words hath condemned you for to die; Therefore to God make yourselves ready. And by and by I will send one, which for your abusion, Shall lead you to the place of execution.

NEW. Help to tie their hands, before ye be gone.

[SEV. _helpeth to tie them_.

SEV. Now they are bound, I will send one to you anon. [_Exit._

NEW. Ah, my masters, how like you this play? You shall take possession of your land to-day! I will help to bridle the two-legged mare, And both you for to ride need not to spare. Now, so God help me, I swear by this bread, I marvel who shall play the knave, when you twain be dead.

CUTHB. O cursed caitiff, born in an evil hour, Woe unto me, that ever I did thee know. For of all iniquity thou art the bow'r; The seed of Satan thou dost always sow. Thou only hast given me the overthrow. Woe worth the hour, wherein I was born! Woe worth the time that ever I knew thee! For now in misery I am forlorn; O, all youth take example by me: Flee from evil company, as from a serpent you would flee; For I to you all a mirror may be. I have been daintily and delicately bred, But nothing at all in virtuous lore: And now I am but a man dead, Hanged I must be, which grieveth me full sore. Note well the end of me therefore; And you that fathers and mothers be, Bring not up your children in too much liberty.

PIERCE. Sith that by the law we are now condemned, Let us call to God for his mercy and his grace; And exhort that all vice may be amended, While we in this world have time and space. And though our lives have licentiously been spent, Yet at the last to God let us call; For he heareth such as are ready to repent, And desireth not that sinners should fall. Now are we ready to suffer, come when it shall.

_Here ent'reth in_ HANKIN HANGMAN.

NEW. Come, Hankin Hangman, let us two cast lots, And between us divide a couple of coats: Take thou the one, and the other shall be mine. Come, Hankin Hangman, thou cam'st in good time. [_They take off the coats, and divide them._

HANKIN. Thou should'st have one, Nichol, I swear by the mass, For thou bringest work for me daily to pass; And through thy means I get more coats in one year, Than all my living is worth beside, I swear. Therefore, Nichol Newfangle, we will depart never: For like will to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier.

NEW. Now, farewell, Hankin Hangman, farewell to thee.

HANKIN. Farewell, Nichol Newfangle: come you two with me. [HANKIN _goeth out, and leadeth the one in his right hand, and the other in his left, having halters about their necks_.

NEW. Ha, ha, ha! there is a brace of hounds, well worth a dozen crowns, Behold the huntsman leadeth away! I think in twenty towns, on hills, and eke on downs. They taken have their prey. So well liked was their hunting on hill and eke on mountain, That now they be up in a lease:[360] To keep within a string, is it not a gay thing? Do all of you hold your peace? Why then, good gentle boy, how likest thou this play? No more, but say thy mind: I swear by this day, if thou wilt this assay, I will to thee be kind. This is well brought to pass of me, I swear by the mass: Some to hang, and other some to beg: I would I had Balaam's ass to carry me, where I was; How say you, little Meg? Ralph Roister and Tom Tosspot, are now not worth a groat, So well with them it is: I would I had a pot, for now I am so hot, By the mass, I must go piss. Philip Fleming and Hance have danc'd a pretty dance, That all is now spent out. And now a great mischance came on while they did prance: They lie sick of the gout. And in a 'spital-house, with little Laurence louse, They be fain for to dwell: If they eat a moisel of souse, or else a roasted mouse, They think they do fare well. But as for Peter Pickpurse, and also Cuthbert Cutpurse, You saw them both right now: With them it is much worse, for they do ban and curse; For the halter shall them bow. Now if I had my nag, to see the world wag, I would straight ride about: Ginks, do fill the bag. I would not pass a rag To hit you on the snout.

_The_ DEVIL _entereth_.

LU. Ho, ho, ho! mine own boy, make no more delay, But leap up on my back straightway.

NEW. Then who shall hold my stirrup, while I go to horse?

LU. Tush, for that do thou not force! Leap up, I say, leap up quickly.

NEW. Woh, Ball, woh! and I will come by and by. Now for a pair of spurs I would give a good groat! To try whether this jade do amble or trot. Farewell, my masters, till I come again, For now I must make a journey into Spain. [_He rideth away on the_ DEVIL'S _back. Here entereth_ VIRTUOUS LIFE _and_ HONOUR.

V. L. O worthy diadem, O jewel most precious, O virtue, which dost all worldly things excel: How worthy a treasure thou art to the virtuous? Thy praise no pen may write, nor no tongue tell. For I, who am called Virtuous Life, Have in this world both honour and dignity: Immortal fame of man, child and wife, Daily waiteth and attendeth on me. The commodity of virtue in me you may behold, The enormity of vice you have also seen: Therefore now to make an end we may be bold, And pray for our noble and gracious Queen.

HONOUR. To do so, Virtuous Life, it is our bounden duty; And because we must do so, before we do end, To aid us therein, Good Fame cometh verily, Which daily and hourly on you doth attend.

_Here entereth_ GOOD FAME.

G. F. Virtuous Life, do what you list: To pray or to sing I will you assist.

V. L. O Lord of hosts, O King Almighty, Pour down thy grace upon our noble Queen! Vanquish her foes (Lord), that daily and nightly Through her thy laws may be sincerely seen.

HONOUR. The honourable council also (O Lord) preserve, The lords both of the clergy and of the temporality: Grant that with meekness they may thee serve, Submitting to thee with all humility.

G. F. O Lord, preserve the Commons of this realm also; Pour upon them thy heavenly grace; To advance virtue and vice to overthrow, That at last in heaven with thee they may have place.

AMEN.

_A Song._[361]

_Where like to like is a-matched so, That virtue must of force decay: There God with vengeance, plagues and woe, By judgment just must needs repay. For, like to like, the worldings cry: Although both likes do grace defy. And where as Satan planted hath In vicious minds a sinful trade: There like to like do walk his path, By which to him like they are made. So like with like reward obtain, To have their meed in endless pain. Likewise in faith, where matches be, And where as God hath planted grace; There do his children still agree, And like to like do run their race. Like Christ, like hearts of Christian men; As like to like well-coupled then. Therefore like grace, like faith and love, Like virtue, springs in each degree: Where like assistance from above Doth make them like so right to be. A holy God, a Christ most just: And so like souls in him to trust._

_Then like as Christ above doth reign, In heaven high our Saviour best: So like with him shall be our gain, In peace and joy, and endless rest. If we ourselves like him do frame, In fear of his most holy name. To him be praise, that grace doth give, Whereby he fashioneth us anew: And make[s] us holily to live, Like to himself in faith most true. Which our redemption sure hath wrought: Like him to be most dearly bought._

FINIS.

FOOTNOTES:

[329] [Suspicious.]

[330] [Nearer.]

[331] [In the old copy, _aloof of_.]

[332] ["A dwarfe, dandiprat, little-skipjacke."--_Cotgrave._]

[333] [_Can_ or _con thee thank_, give thee thanks--a common expression.]

[334] [Nature.]

[335] [Fault.]

[336] [A tolerably early example of the use of this saying, which may have taken its rise from the custom of having a pudding as the first dish on the table, and may consequently be equivalent to _betimes_.]

[337] [Clownish or rude, like a cobbler, from _souter_, a cobbler.]

[338] [A word of somewhat uncertain meaning and of obscure origin. See Halliwell _v. Liripoops_.]

[339] [This is an allusion worth noting; the editor does not recollect to have met with it before.]

[340] [The two places chiefly used for executions, after the discontinuance of the Elms in Smithfield.]

[341] [The leathern drinking vessel, generally called _a jack_.]

[342] [The Flemings or Dutch (for the two seem to have been pretty generally confounded) had a great reputation here, like the Danes afterwards, for habits of excessive drinking.]

[343] [Salisbury plain was formerly one of the resorts of foot-pads, who infested the place in small bodies, and waylaid travellers.]

[344] [The entrances and _exits_ in this piece are so imperfectly marked, that it is often difficult to be sure about them. It seems to be Tom Tosspot who goes out now; but if so, he soon returns, though his re-entry is not recorded.]

[345] [Drink.]

[346] [Tom seems to have gone out and returned, as observed above.]

[347] A term of endearment. A commoner form is _white boy_.

[348] [Nichol had previously addressed the Collier as _Master Lick-hole_; but as the Collier is not on the stage, it is clear that he here applies the same bye-name, _rhythmi causâ_, to Hance.]

[349] [The gallows.]

[350] [The song is divided between the three, each singing two lines, and the division is marked; but the name of the singer in each case is not given.]

[351] [_To bring a noble to nine-pence_, was a proverbial expression for the idle dissipation of money.]

[352] [It appears from what is afterwards said in the piece, that they do not see Newfangle, who has probably retired to the back of the stage.]

[353] [Five and Six, a game at cards or dice.]

[354] [_i.e._, Destitute of money.]

[355] [The 4to of 1587 reads, _thou shall have_.]

[356] [The 4to of 1568 has _way_.]

[357] [The 4to of 1568 has _the every_.]

[358] [Nearer.]

[359] [The 4to of 1568 has, as before, _the every_.]

[360] [Leash.]

[361] This song is divided by a paragraph-mark between Virtuous Life and the other speakers; but the names are not given, and the mode of distribution is consequently uncertain.

END OF VOL. III.

* * * * *

+--------------------------------------------------------------+ | | | Transcriber notes: | | | | P.60. 'Royster.' needs to be 'Roister.', changed. | | P.76. 'Alfyace.' needs to be 'Alyface.', changed. | | P.144. 'Royster' needs to be 'Roister' changed. | | P.266. 'sprit' needs to be 'spirit', changed. | | Fixed various punctuation. | | | +--------------------------------------------------------------+