Chapter 7

WIT, WILL, INSTRUCTION, STUDY, DILIGENCE.

WILL. Tush, tush, Instruction, your talk is of no force: You tell us a tale of a roasted horse, Which, by his wounds, except we set to it, As fast as we make, these[399] fellows will undo it, Their talk is nothing but soft, and fair, and tarry; If you follow their counsel, you shall never marry.

INSTRUCTION. To follow our counsel your charge and promise was.

WIT. I would I had never known you, by the mass. Must I look so long, and spend my life with toil? Nay, sure, I will either win it, or take the foil.

STUDY. The surer is your ground, the better you shall bear it.

WILL. Ground us no ground; let him win it, and wear it.

INSTRUCTION. Good sir, be ruled, and leave this peevish elf.

WIT. I had even as lief ye bad me hang myself; Leave him? no, no, I would you all knew, You be but loiterers to him, my Will tells me true. I could be content with a week, yea a month or twain, But three or four years! marry, that were a pain. So long to keep me, and lie like a hog.

WILL. A life, with all my heart, I would not wish a dog.

WIT. Will a week serve?

STUDY. No.

WIT. A month?

STUDY. Neither.

WIT. No?

STUDY. Not so.

INSTRUCTION. No, nor so many mo.

WIT. Then, farewell all, for, as I hope to thrive, I will prove him, ere I sleep, if I be alive, And if ye be mine, and good fellows all three, Go thither out of hand, and take your chance with me.

INSTRUCTION. For my part, I know I can do you no good.

WILL. You are a proper man of your hands, by the rood! Yet well fare him, that never his master forsaketh.

WIT. What say'st thou, Study?

STUDY. My head acheth.

WIT. Out upon thee, coward! speak, Diligence.

DILIGENCE. Against Instruction's mind, I am loth to go hence, Yet I will make one, rather than you should lack.

WIT. Perhaps we may find them at this time in bed.

WILL. So much the rather look you to be sped, Care for no more, but once to come within her, And when you have done, then let another win her.

WIT. To come within her, child? what meanest thou by that?

WILL. One mass for a penny, you know what is what!

WIT. Heard you ever such a counsel of such a Jack sprat?

WILL. Why, sir, do ye think to do any good, If ye stand in a corner like Robin Hood? Nay, you must stout it, and face it out with the best: Set on a good countenance, make the most of the least, Whosoever skip in, look to your part, And while you live, beware of a false heart.

WIT. Both blame and shame rash boldness doth breed.

WILL. You must adventure both: spare to speak, spare to speed. What tell you me of shame? it is shame to steal a horse.

WIT. More haste than good speed makes many fare the worse.

WILL. But he that takes not such time, while he may, Shall leap at a whiting, when time is away.

WIT. But he that leaps, before he look, good son, May leap in the mire, and miss when he hath done.

[_Enter Science, Season, and Experience_.

SCIENCE. Methink I hear the voice of Will, Wit's boy.

WIT. I see her come, her sorrow and my joy, My salve and yet my sore, my comfort and my care, The causer of my wound, and yet the well of my welfare; O happy wight, that have the saint of your request, O hopeless hope, that holdeth me from that which likes me best! Twixt hope and fear I stand, to mar or else to make, This day to be relieved quite, or else my death-wound to take.

REASON. Here let us rest awhile, and pause all three:

EXPERIENCE. Daughter, sit down, belike this same is he.

WILL. Be of good cheer, sir; be ruled by me. Women are best pleased, till they be used homely, Look her in the face, and tell your tale stoutly.

WIT. O pearl of passing price, sent down from God on high, The sweetest beauty to entice, that hath been seen with eye: The well of wealth to all, that no man doth annoy: The key of kingdoms and the seal of everlasting joy. The treasure and the store, whom all good things began, The nurse of lady Wisdom's love, the link of man and man. What words shall me suffice to utter my desire? What heat of talk shall I devise, for to express my fire? I burn and yet I freeze, I flame and cool as fast, In hope to win and for to lese, my pensiveness doth last; Why should my dull spirit appal my courage so? O, salve my sore, or sle me quite, by saying yea or no! You are the mark at whom I shoot to hit or miss, My life it stays on you alone, to you my suit it is, A suit[400] not much unmeet with you some grace[401] to find, Dame Nature's son, my name is Wit, that fancieth you by kind, And here I come this day to wait and to attend, In hope to have my hoped prey,[402] or else my life to end.

SCIENCE. Good cause there is, wherefore I should embrace, This loving heart which you have borne to me, And glad I am, that we be both in place, Each one of us each other's looks to see. Your picture and your person doth agree, Your prince-like port and eke your noble face; Wherein so many signs of virtue be: That I must needs be moved in your case.

REASON. Friend Wit, are you the man indeed, which you intend?[403] Can you be well content, until your life doth end, To join and knit most sure with this my daughter here, And unto her alone your fixed faith to bear?

WIT. As I am bent to this, so let my suit be sped, If I do fail, ten thousand plagues and more light on my head!

EXPERIENCE. There are, that promise fair, and mean as well, As any heart[404] can think, or tongue can tell: Which at the first are hot, and kindle in desire, But in one month or twain quite quenched is the fire. Such is the train[405] of youth, whom fancy's force doth lead, Whose love is only at the plunge, and cannot long proceed.

WIT. Credit my words, and ye shall find me true.

EXPERIENCE. Suppose you keep not touch, who should this bargain rue?

WIT. I will be sworn here solemnly before you both.

EXPERIENCE. Who breaketh promise, will not stick likewise to break his oath.

WIT. I will be bound in all that ever I can make.

EXPERIENCE. What good were that to us, if we th'advantage take?

WIT. Will neither promise serve, nor oath, nor bands?[406] What other assurance will ye ask at my hands?

WILL. My master is a gentleman, I tell you, and his word, I would you knew it, shall with his deeds accord.

REASON. We know not whom to trust, the world is so ill.

WILL. Indeed, sir, as you say, you may mend, when ye will; But in good earnest, madam, speak--off or on? Shall we speed at your hand, or shall we be gone? I love not these delays; say so, if we shall have you, If not, say no; and let another crave you.

WIT. Soft and fair, sir boy, you talk, you wot not what. [_Aside_.

WILL. Can you abide to be driven off with this and that, Can they ask any more than good assurance at your hands? [_Aside_.

EXPERIENCE. All is now too little, son, as the matter stands.

WILL. If all be too little, both goods and lands, I know not what will please you, except Darby's bands.[407]

SCIENCE. I have an enemy, my friend Wit, a mortal foe to me; And therewithal the greatest plague that can befal to thee.

WIT. Must I fight with him?

REASON. Can you fight, if need be?

WILL. If any such thing fall, count the charge to me, Trouble not yourself.

WIT. Hold thy peace, elf.

SCIENCE. Hear out my tale; I have a mortal foe, That lurketh in the wood hereby, as you come and go; This monstrous giant bears a grudge to me and mine, And will attempt to keep thee back from this desire of thine. The bane of youth, the root of ruin and distress:[408] Devouring those that sue to me, his name is Tediousness. No sooner he espies the noble Wit begin: To stir and pain itself the love of me to win. But forth he steps, and with strong hands by might and main. He beats and buffets down the force and liveliness of brain. That done, in deep despair he drowns him villainously: Ten thousand suitors in a year are cast away thereby. Now, if your mind be surely fixed so, That for no toil nor cost my love you will forego, Bethink you well, and of this monster take good heed, Then may you have with me the greater hope to speed. Herein use good advice, to make you strong and stout, To feud and keep him off a while, until his rage be out. Then when you feel yourself well able to prevail, Bid you the battle, and that so courageously assail. If you can win the field, present me with his head, I ask no more, and I forthwith shall be your own to bed.

WIT. Ill might I thrive, and lack that likes me best, If I be not a scourge to him, that breedeth[409] your unrest. Madam, assure yourself, he lives not in the land, With whom I would not in your cause encounter hand to hand. And as for Tediousness that wretch, your common foe, Let me alone, we twain shall cope, before I sleep, I trow.

WILL. Lustily spoken, let me claw thee by the back: How say you now sir, here are three against twain!

STUDY. Go, that go list, I will at home remain, I have more need to take a nap in my bed.

WILL. Do so, and, hear you, couch a cod's-head! [_Aside_.

INSTRUCTION. Well, since it will none otherwise frame, Let us twain, Study, return[410] from whence we came.

STUDY. Agreed. [_Exit_.

WIT. And let us three bestir ourselves like men; Unlikely things are brought to pass by courage now and then. My Will, be always prest, and ready at an inch, To save thyself, to succour me, to help at every pinch. Both twain on either side assault him, if ye can, And you shall see me in the middes, how I will play the man; This is the deadly den, as far as I perceive, Approach we near, and valiantly let us the onset give. Come forth, thou monster fell, in drowsy darkness hid, For here is Wit, Dame Nature's son, that doth thee battle bid.