Chapter 12

By which ye may preserve your souls' health--

PARDONER.

For which ye may have benefits so many--

FRIAR.

I say, wilt thou not yet stint thy clap? Pull me down the Pardoner with an evil hap!

PARDONER.

Master Friar, I hold it best To keep your tongue, while ye be in rest--

FRIAR.

I say, one pull the knave off his stool!

PARDONER.

Nay, one pull the friar down like a fool!

FRIAR.

Leave thy railing and babbling of friars, Or, by Jis, I'sh lug thee by the sweet ears![176]

PARDONER.

By God, I would thou durst presume to it!--

FRIAR.

By God, a little thing might make me to do it--

PARDONER.

And I shrew thy heart, and thou spare--

FRIAR.

By God, I will not miss thee much, thou slouch; And if thou play me such another touch, I'sh knock thee on the costard, I would thou it knew--

PARDONER.

"Marry that I would see, quod blind Hew." [177]

FRIAR.

Well, I will begin, and then let me see, Whether thou darest again interrupt me, And what thou would once to it say--

PARDONER.

Begin and prove, whether I will, yea or nay--

FRIAR.

And to go forth, whereas I left right now--

PARDONER.

Because some percase will think amiss of me--

FRIAR.

Our Lord in the gospel showeth the way how--

PARDONER.

Ye shall now hear the Pope's authority.

FRIAR.

By Gog's soul, knave, I suffer thee no lenger--

PARDONER.

I say some good body lend me his hanger, And I shall him teach by God Almighty, How he shall another time learn for to fight! I shall make that bald crown of his to look red; I shall leave him but one ear on his head!

FRIAR.

But I shall leave thee never an ear, ere I go:

PARDONER.

Yea, whoreson friar, wilt thou soe--

[_Then they fight_.

FRIAR.

Loose thy hands away from mine ears--

PARDONER.

Then take thou thy hands away from my hairs; Nay, abide, thou whoreson, I am not down yet; I trust first to lay thee at my feet.

FRIAR.

Yea, whoreson, wilt thou scrat and bite?

PARDONER.

Yea, marry, will I, as long as thou dost smite.--

[_Enter the Curate_.

PARSON (OR CURATE).

Hold your hands, a vengeance on ye both two, That ever ye came hither to make this a-do! To pollute my church, a mischief on you light! I swear to you, by God Almight, Ye shall both repent, every vein of your heart, As sore as ye did ever thing, ere ye depart.

FRIAR.

Master Parson, I marvel ye will give licence To this false knave in this audience, To publish his ragman-rolls[178] with lies I desired him, i-wis, more than once or twice To hold his peace, till that I had done; But he would hear no more than the man in the moon--

PARDONER.

Why should I suffer thee more than thou me? Master Parson gave me licence before thee; And I would thou knowest it, I have relics here Other manner stuff than thou dost bear. I will edify more with the sight of it, Than will all the prating of holy writ; For that except that the preacher himself live well, His predication will help never a dell, And I know well that thy living is nought: Thou art an apostate, if it were well sought. An homicide thou art, I know well enough, For myself knew where that thou slough A wench with thy dagger in a couch: And yet, as thou say'st in thy sermon, that no man shall touch.

PARSON.

No more of this wrangling in my church! I shrew your hearts both for this lurch: Is there any blood shed here between these knaves? Thanked be God they had no staves Nor edge-tools;[179] for then it had been wrong. Well, ye shall sing another song! Neighbour Prat, come hither, I you pray--

PRAT.

Why, what is this nice fray?

PARSON.

I cannot tell you; one knave disdains another; Wherefore take ye the one, and I shall take the other. We shall bestow them there as is most convenient; For such a couple, I trow, they shall repent That ever they met in this church here. Neighbour, ye be constable; stand ye near, Take ye that lay knave, and let me alone With this gentleman; by God and by Saint John, I shall borrow upon priesthood somewhat; For I may say to thee, neighbour Prat, It is a good deed to punish such, to the ensample Of such other, how that they shall mell In like fashion, as these caitiffs do.

PRAT.

In good faith, Master Parson, if ye do so, Ye do but well to teach them to beware.

PARDONER.

Master Prat, I pray ye me to spare; For I am sorry for that that is done; Wherefore I pray ye forgive me soon, For that I have offended within your liberty; And by my troth, sir, ye may trust me I will never come hither more, While I live, and God before.

PRAT.

Nay, I am once charged with thee, Wherefore, by Saint John, thou shalt not escape me, Till thou hast scoured a pair of stocks.

PARSON.

Tut, he weeneth all is but mocks! Lay hand on him; and come ye on, sir friar, Ye shall of me hardly have your hire; Ye had none such this seven year, I swear by God and by our lady dear.

PARDONER.

Nay, Master Parson, for God's passion, Intreat[180] not me after that fashion; For, if ye do, it will not be for your honesty.

PARSON.

Honesty or not, but thou shall see, What I shall do by and by: Make no struggling, come forth soberly: For it shall not avail thee, I say.

FRIAR.

Marry, that shall we try even straightway. I defy the churl priest, and there be no more than thou. I will not go with thee, I make God a vow. We shall see first which is the stronger: God hath sent me bones; I do thee not fear.

PARSON.

Yea, by thy faith, wilt thou be there? Neighbour Prat, bring forth that knave, And thou, sir friar, if thou wilt algates[181] rave.

FRIAR.

Nay, churl, I thee defy! I shall trouble thee first; Thou shalt go to prison by and by; Let me see, now do thy worst!

[_Prat with the Pardoner and the Parson with the Friar_.

PARSON.

Help, help, neighbour Prat, neighbour Prat, In the worship of God, help me somewhat!

PRAT.

Nay, deal as thou canst with that elf, For why I have enough to do myself. Alas! for pain I am almost dead; The red blood so runneth down about my head. Nay, and thou canst, I pray thee help me.

PARSON.

Nay, by the mass, fellow, it will not be; I have more tow on my distaff than I can well spin; The cursed Friar doth the upper hand win.

FRIAR.

Will ye leave then, and let us in peace depart?

PARSON AND PRAT.

Yea, by our lady, even with all our heart.

FRIAR AND PARDONER.

Then adieu to the devil, till we come again.

PARSON AND PRAT.

And a mischief go with you both twain![182]

THE WORLD AND THE CHILD.

MR COLLIER'S PREFACE.

When the Rev. T.F. Dibdin asserted ("Typographical Antiquities," ii. 9.) that "in the Drama there is no single work yet found, which bears the name of Winken de Worde as the printer of it," he committed one of those singular over-sights of which very learned men have before been sometimes guilty. "Hickscorner," perhaps the most ancient printed dramatic piece in our language, and well-known to those who are at all acquainted with the history of our stage, was from his press, and his colophon is at its conclusion: "Enprynted by me Wynkyn de Worde." Mr Dibdin, in opposition to his own statement, inserts it among the works of that early professor of the typographic art.

The subsequent dramatic production is also from the types of Wynkyn de Worde, but it was not discovered in the Library of Trinity College, Dublin, until after the appearance of the second volume of Mr Dibdin's new edition of Ames.[183]

[Yet a copy was in the "Bibliotheca Anglo-Poetica," 1815, and in 1817 the piece was reprinted for the Roxburghe Club].

"Hickscorner" is without date, but "The World and the Child" was printed in July 1522. Only one other copy of it is known, and it is here republished from a faithful transcript of the original.[184] As a specimen of our ancient moralities, it is of an earlier date, and in several respects more curious, than almost any other piece in the present collection. From a line in the epilogue, it might be inferred that it was performed before the king and his Court.

HERE BEGINNETH A PROPER NEW INTERLUDE OF THE WORLD AND THE CHILD, OTHERWISE CALLED MUNDUS ET INFANS, AND IT SHOWETH OF THE ESTATE OF CHILDHOOD AND MANHOOD.

MUNDUS. Sirs, cease of your saws what so befall, And look ye bow bonerly[185] to my bidding, For I am ruler of realms, I warn you all, And over all fodes[186] I am king: For I am king, and well known in these realms round, I have also palaces i-pight: I have steeds in stable stalwart and strong, Also streets and strands full strongly i-dight: For all the world[187] wide I wot well is my name, All riches readily it renneth in me, All pleasure worldly, both mirth and game. Myself seemly in sale[188] I send with you to be, For I am the world, I warn you all, Prince of power and of plenty: He that cometh not, when I do him call, I shall him smite with poverty, For poverty I part[189] in many a place To them that will not obedient be. I am a king in every case: Methinketh I am a God of grace, The flower of virtue followeth me! Lo, here I sit seemly in se,[190] I command you all obedient be, And with free will ye follow me.

INFANS. Christ our king, grant you clearly to know the case. To meve[191] of this matter that is in my mind, [And] clearly declare it, Christ grant me grace. Now, seemly sirs, behold on me, How mankind doth begin: I am a child, as you may see, Gotten in game and in great sin. Forty weeks my mother me found,[192] Flesh and blood my food was tho: When I was ripe from her to sound, In peril of death we stood both two. Now to seek death I must begin, For to pass that strait passage For body and soul, that shall then twin,[193] And make a parting of that marriage. Forty weeks I was freely fed Within my mother's possession: Full oft of death she was a-dread, When that I should part her from: Now into the world she hath me sent, Poor and naked, as ye may see, I am not worthily wrapped nor went, But poorly pricked in poverty. Now into the world will I wend, Some comfort of him for to crave. All hail! comely crowned king, God that all made you see and save!

MUNDUS. Welcome, fair child, what is thy name?

INFANS. I wot not, sir, withouten blame; But oftime my mother in her game Called me Dalliance.

MUNDUS. Dalliance, my sweet child, It is a name that is right wild,[194] For when thou waxest old, It is a name of no substance, But, my fair child, what wouldst thou have?

INFANS. Sir, of some comfort I you crave: Meat and clothes my life to save, And I your true servant shall be.

MUNDUS. Now, fair child, I grant thee thine asking: I will thee find while thou art ying,[195] So thou wilt be obedient to my bidding. These garments gay I give to thee, And also I give to thee a name, And clepe thee Wanton in every game, Till fourteen year be come and gone, And then come again to me.

WANTON. Gramercy, world, for mine array; For now I purpose me to play.

MUNDUS. Farewell, fair child, and have good day: All recklessness is kind for thee.

WANTON. Ha, ha, Wanton is my name: I can many a quaint game. Lo, my top I drive in same, See, it turneth round! I can with my scourge-stick My fellow upon the head hit, And lightly[196] from him make a skip, And blear on him my tongue. If brother or sister do me chide, I will scratch and also bite: I can cry, and also kick, And mock them all berew.[197] If father or mother will me smite, I will ring with my lip, And lightly from him make a skip, And call my dame shrew. Aha, a new game have I found: See this gin, it renneth round! And here another have I found, And yet mo can I find. I can mow[198] on a man, And make a lesing[199] well I can, And maintain it right well then. This cunning came me of kind, Yea, sirs, I can well geld a snail, And catch a cow by the tail: This is a fair cunning, I can dance and also skip, I can play at the cherry-pit,[200] And I can whistle you a fit,[201] Sires, in a willow rine: Yea, sirs, and every day, When I to school shall take the way Some good man's garden I will essay, Pears and plums to pluck. I can spy a sparrow's nest, I will not go to school but when me lest,[202] For there beginneth a sorry feast, When the master should lift my dock. But, sirs, when I was seven year of age, I was sent to the world to take wage,[203] And this seven year I have been his page, And kept his commandment. Now I will wend to the world the worthy emperor. Hail! Lord of great honour, This seven year I have served you in hall and in bow'r With all my true intent.[204]

MUNDUS. Now welcome, Wanton, my darling dear. A new name I shall give thee here: Love-Lust, Liking, in fere; These thy names they shall be, All game and glee, and gladness, All love-longing in lewdness. This seven year forsake all sadness, And then come again to me.

LUST AND LIKING. Ha, ha, now Lust and Liking is my name. I am as fresh as flowers in May, I am seemly-shapen in same, And proudly apparelled in garments gay: My looks been full lovely to a lady's eye, And in love-longing my heart is sore set: Might I find a fode[205] that were fair and free, To lie in hell till doomsday for love I would not let. My love for to win All game and glee, All mirth and melody, All revel and riot, And of boast will I never blin. But, sirs, now I am nineteen winter old, I-wis, I wax wonder bold: Now I will go to the world A higher science to assay: For the World will me avance, I will keep his governance, His pleasing will I pray, For he is a king in all substance. All hail! master, full of might, I have you served both day and night: Now I comen, as I you benight.[206] One and twenty winter is comen and gone.

MUNDUS. Now welcome, Love-Lust and Liking, For thou hast been obedient to my bidding. I increase thee in all thing, And mightly[207] I make thee a man: Manhood Mighty shall be thy name. Bear thee prest[208] in every game, And wait[209] well that thou suffer no shame, Neither for land nor for rent: If any man would wait thee with blame, Withstand him with thy whole intent, Full sharply thou beat him to shame With doughtiness of deed: For of one thing, Manhood, I warn thee, I am most of bounty, For seven kings sewen[210] me Both by day and night. One of them is the king of pride, The king of envy doughty in deed, The king of wrath that boldly will abide, For mickle is his might: The king of covetise is the fourth: The fifth king he hight sloth, The king of gluttony hath no jollity, There[21l] poverty is pight:[212] Lechery is the seventh king, All men in him have great delighting, Therefore worship him above all thing, Manhood, with all thy might.

MANHOOD. Yea, sir king, without lesing It shall be wrought.[213] Had I knowing of the first king, without lesing Well joyen I mought.

MUNDUS. The first king hight pride.

MANHOOD. Ah, Lord, with him fain would I bide.

MUNDUS. Yea, but wouldst thou serve him truly in every tide?[214]

MANHOOD. Yea, sir, and thereto my troth I plight: That I shall truly pride present I swear by Saint Thomas of Kent.[215] To serve him truly is mine intent, With main and all my might.

MUNDUS. Now, Manhood, I will array thee new In robes royal of right[216] good hue, And I pray thee principally be true, And here I dub thee a knight, And haunt alway to chivalry. I give thee grace and also beauty: Gold and silver great plenty, Of the wrong to make thee right.

MANHOOD. Gramercy, World and Emperor, Gramercy, World and Governor, Gramercy, comfort in all colour, And now I take my leave. Farewell!

MUNDUS. Farewell, Manhood, my gentle knight: Farewell, my son, seemly in sight. I give thee a sword, and also strength and might In battle boldly to bear thee well.

MANHOOD. Now I am dubbed a knight bend,[217] Wonder wide shall wax my fame: To seek adventures now will I wend, To please the world in glee and game.

MUNDUS. Lo, sirs, I am a prince perilous y-proved, I-proved full perilous and pithily y-pight: As a lord in each land I am beloved, Mine eyen do shine as lantern bright. I am a creature comely out of care, Emperors and kings they kneel to my knee: Every man is afeard, when I do on him stare, For all merry middle earth maketh mention of me. Yet all is at my hand-work, both by down and by dale, Both the sea and the land, and the fowls that fly: And I were once moved, I tell you in tale, There durst no[218] star stir that standeth in the sky, For I am Lord and leader, so that in land All boweth to my bidding bonnerly about. Who that stirreth with any strife or waiteth me with wrong, I shall mightly make him to stammer and stoop: For I am richest in mine array, I have knights and towers, I have brightest[219] ladies in bowers. Now will I fare on these flowers: Lordings, have good day.

MANHOOD. Peace, now peace, ye fellows all about: Peace now, and harken to my saws, For I am Lord both stalworthy and stout, All lands are led by my laws. Baron was there never born that so well him bare, A better ne a bolde[r] nor a brighter of ble,[220] For I have might and main over countries far, And Manhood Mighty am I named in every country. For Salerno and Samers,[221] and Andaluse:[222] Calais, Kent, and Cornwall have I conquered clean, Picardy and Pontoise, and gentle Artois, Florence, Flanders, and France, and also Gascoigne. All I have conquered as a knight: There is no emperor so keen, That dare me lightly tene,[223] For lives and limbs I lene, So mickle is my might. For I have boldly blood full piteously dispilled: There many hath left fingers and feet, both head and face. I have done harm on heads, and knights have I killed; And many a lady for my love hath said alas. Brigand harness[224] I have beaten to back and to bones, And beaten also many a groom[225] to ground: Breastplates I have beaten, as Stephen was with stones, So fell a fighter in a field was there never y-found. To me no man is maked,[226] For Manhood Mighty that is my name. Many a lord have I do lame:[227] Wonder wide walketh my fame, And many a king's crown have I cracked. I am worthy and wight, witty and wise: I am royal arrayed to reven under the ris,[228] I am proudly apparelled in purpur and bis, As gold I glister in gear: I am stiff, strong, stalwart, and stout, I am the royallest readily that renneth in this rout, There is no knight so grisly that I dread nor doubt, For I am so doughtly dight there may no dint me dere, And the king of pride full prest with all his proud presence, And the king of lechery lovely his letters hath me sent, And the king of wrath full wordily with all his intent, They will me maintain with main and all their might: The king of covetise, and the king of gluttony, The king of sloth, and the king of envy, All those send me their livery. Where is now so worthy a wight? Yea, as a wight witty, Here in this seat sit I, For no loves let I Here for to sit.

CONSCIENCE. Christ, as he is crowned king, Save all this comely company, And grant you all his dear blessing, That bonnerly bought you on the rood-tree. Now pray you prestly on every side To God omnipotent, To set our enemy sharply on side, That is the devil and his covent: And all men to have a clear knowing Of heaven bliss, that high tower, Methink it is a nessary[229] thing For young and old, both rich and poor, Poor Conscience for to know, For Conscience clear it is my name. Conscience counselleth both high and low, And Conscience commonly beareth great blame, Yea, and oftentimes set in shame: Wherefore I reed you men, both in earnest and in game, Conscience that ye know, For I know all the mysteries of man. They be as simple as they can, And in every company where I come Conscience is out-cast: All the world doth Conscience hate, Mankind and Conscience been at debate, For if mankind might Conscience take My body would they brast: Brast, yea, and wark me much woe.

MANHOOD. Say how, fellow, who gave thee leave this way to go? What! weenest thou I dare not come thee to? Say, thou harlot,[230] whither in haste?

CONSCIENCE. What! let me go, sir; I know you nought.

MANHOOD. No, bitched brothel, thou shalt be taught, For I am a knight, and I were sought; The world hath avanced me.

CONSCIENCE. Why, good sir knight, what is your name?

MANHOOD. Manhood, mighty in mirth and in game, All power of pride have I tane:[231] I am as gentle as jay on tree.

CONSCIENCE. Sir, though the world have you to manhood brought, To maintain manner ye were never taught; No, Conscience clear, ye know right nought, And this longeth[232] to a knight.

MANHOOD. Conscience! what the devil man is he?

CONSCIENCE! Sir, a teacher of the spirituality.

MANHOOD. Spirituality! what the devil may that be?

CONSCIENCE. Sir, all that be leaders into light.

MANHOOD. Light! yea, but hark, fellow, yet light fain would I see.

CONSCIENCE! Will ye so, sir knight, then do after me.

MANHOOD. Yea, and it to pride's pleasing be; I will take thy teaching.

CONSCIENCE. Nay, sir, beware of pride, and you do well. For pride Lucifer fell into hell: Till doomsday there shall he dwell, Withouten any outcoming; For pride, sir, is but a vain glory.

MANHOOD. Peace, thou brothel, and let those words be, For the world and pride hath avanced me To me men lewt[233] full low.

CONSCIENCE. And to beware of pride, sir, I would counsel you; And think on King Robert of Sicile,[234] How he for pride in great poverty fell, For he would not Conscience know.

MANHOOD. Yea, Conscience, go forth thy way, For I love pride, and will go gay: All thy teaching is not worth a stra',[235] For pride clepe I my king.

CONSCIENCE. Sir, there is no king but God alone, That bodily bought us with pain and passion, Because of man's soul's redemption: In Scripture thus we find.

MANHOOD. Say, Conscience, sith thou wouldst have pride from me, What sayest thou by the king of lechery? With all mankind he must be, And with him I love to ling.

CONSCIENCE. Nay, Manhood, that may not be: From lechery fast you flee. For incumbrance it will bring thee, And all that to him will lind.[236]

MANHOOD. Say, Conscience, of the king of sloth. He hath behight me mickle troth, And I may not forsake him for ruth. For with him I think to rest.

CONSCIENCE. Manhood, in Scripture thus we find, That sloth is a traitor to heaven king: Sir knight, if you will keep your king[237] From sloth clean you cast.

MANHOOD. Say, Conscience, the king of gluttony: He sayeth he will not forsake me, And I purpose his servant to be With main and all my might.

CONSCIENCE. Think, Manhood, on substance, And put out gluttony for cumbrance, And keep you with good governance, For this longeth to a knight.

MANHOOD. What, Conscience, from all my masters thou wouldst have me: But I will never forsake envy, For he is king of company, Both with more and lass.[238]

CONSCIENCE. Nay, Manhood, that may not be. And[239] ye will cherish envy; God will not well pleased be To comfort you in that case.

MANHOOD. Ay, ay, from five kings thou hast counselled me, But from the king of wrath I will never flee, For he is in every deed doughty, For him dare no man rowt.

CONSCIENCE. Nay, Manhood, beware of wrath; For it is but superfluity that cometh and goeth: Yea, and all men his company hateth, For oft they stand in doubt.[240]

MANHOOD. Fie on thee, false flattering frere:[241] Thou shalt rue the time that thou came here. The devil mot set thee on a fire, That ever I with thee meet, For thou counsellest me from all gladness, And would me set into all sadness; But ere thou bring me in this madness, The devil break thy neck! But, sir frere, evil mot thou the,[242] From six kings thou hast counselled me, But that day shall thou never see To counsel me from covetise.

CONSCIENCE. No, sir, I will not you from covetise bring, For covetise I clepe a king. Sir, covetise in good doing Is good in all wise: But, sir knight, will ye do after me, And covetise your king shall be?

MANHOOD. Ye, sir, my troth I plight to thee. That I will wark at thy will.

CONSCIENCE. Manhood, will ye by this word stand?

MANHOOD. Yea, Conscience, here my hand. I will never from it fong,[243] Neither loud ne still.