Part 3

[Sidenote: Much good may doe you Sir.] Now then, like _Scanderbeg_ he falls to work, And hews the Pudding as he hew’d the Turk. How he plough’d up the Beefe like Forrest-land, And fum’d, because the bones his wrath withstand? Upon the Mutton he fell not like a Lamb, But rather like a Wolfe he tore the same. At first a Sister helpt him, but this Elfe sir, Wearying her out, she cryes, _Pray help your self sir!_ Upon the Pasty though he fell anon, As if ’t had been the walls of _Babylon_. Like a Cathedrall downe he throwes that stuffe, _Why, Sisters_, saith he, _I am pepper-proofe_. Then down he powres the Claret, and down again, And _would the French King were a Puritan_ He cryes: swills up the Sack, and I’le be sworn [Sidenote: Christian forgivenesse.] Quoth he, _Spaine’s_ King is not the _Popes_ tenth horne. By this his tearing hunger doth abate, [Sidenote: No Grace after meat.] And on the second course they ’gan to prate. Then quoth _Priscilla_, Oh my brother deare: Truly y’are welcome to this homely cheare, And therefore eate, good brother, eate your fill, Alas for _Daniel_, my heart aketh still. Then quoth the Priest, _Sister be of good heart_; But she reply’d _good brother eate some Tart_. _Rebecca_ then a member of the ’lection Began to talk of brotherly affection; For this, said she; as I have heard the wise Discourse, consisteth much in exercise. Yet I was foolish, and would oft resist, But you had more grace, Brother, than to desist. Streight he reply’d, there is a time for all things, There is a time for great things and for small things, There’s a time to eate, and drink, and reformation, A time to empty, and for procreation. Therefore deare Sister let us take our time, There’s reason for’t, I never car’d for Rhyme. Then truly answer’d she, tis a good motion, And I embrace it with a warme devotion. [Sidenote: Nothing beyond ingratitude.] Why you know Brother you did never prove That I was ere ingratefull for your love, But sometimes Angels did attend your Purse, At other times you know I did you nurse, With many a secret dish of lusty meat, And presently we went and did the feat. Truly quoth _Dorcas_ then, I saw a Vision, That we should have our foes in great derision. Quoth _Martha_ straight (and then she shook the crums From off her apron white, and pickt her gums) So I doe hope, for so our Brother said; O what a heavenly piece of work he made! But I am ign’rant, and my memory short, I shall forget, were I to be hang’d for’t. Then quoth the Priest, The cheere that here we see, Is but an Emblem of Mortality. The Oxe is strong, and glories in his strength, Yet him the Butcher knocks down, and at length We eate him up. A Turkie’s very gay, Like worldly people clad in fine array; Yet on the Spit it looks most piteous, And we devoure it, as the wormes eate us. Then full of sawce and zeale up steps _Elnathan_, [This was his name now, once he had another, Untill the Ducking-pond made him a Brother] A Deacon, and a Buffeter of Sathan. [Sidenote: A man may love his brother] Truly, quoth he, I know a Brother deare, Would gladly pick the bones of what’s left here. Nay he would gladly pick your pockets too Of a small two-pence, or a groat, or so, The sorry remnants of a broken shilling; Therefore I pray you friends be not unwilling. But as for me, tis more than I doe need, To be charitable both in word and deed; For as to us, the holy Scriptures say, [Sidenote: but] _The Deacons must receive, the Lay-men pay._ Why Heathen folks that doe in Taverns stray, Will never let their friends the reckning pay. And therefore poure your charity into the bason, Brethren and Sisters eke, your coats have lace on. Why Brethren in the Lord, what need you care For six pence? we’ll one houre enhance our ware. Your six pence comes againe, nay there comes more; Thus Charity’s th’ encreaser of your store. Truly well spoke, then cry’d the Master-feaster, Since you say so, here, you shall have my tester: But for the women, they gave more liberally, For they were sure to whom they gave, and why: [Sidenote: Not better than himselfe.] Then did _Elnathan_ blinke, for he knew well What he might give, and what he might conceale. But now the Parson could no longer stay, ’Tis time to kiss, he cryes and so away. At which the sisters, once th’ alarum tak’n, Made such a din as would have serv’d to wak’n A snoring brother, when he sleeps at Church; With bagg and baggage then they gan to march; And tickled with the thoughts of their delight, One sister to the other bids Good night. Good night quoth _Dorcas_ to _Priscilla_, she, Good night deare sister _Dorcas_ unto thee. In these goodly good nights much time was spent, And was it not a holy complement? At length in steps the Parson, on his breast [Sidenote: Christian Liberty.] Laying his hand. A happy night of rest Reward thy labours sister: yet ere we part, Feel in my lips the passion of my heart. To another straight he turn’d his face, and kist her, And then he cryes, _All peace be with thee Sister_. To another in a godly tune he whines, [Sidenote: Nere a profane kisse among all these.] Deare Sister from thy lip Ile take my tines. With that he kist, and whispers in her eare, The time when it should be, and the place where. Thus they all part, the Parson followes close, For well the Parson knoweth where he goes. This seem’d a golden time, the fall of sin, You’d think the thousand years did now begin, When Satan chain’d below should cease to roare, Nor durst the wicked as they wont before Come to the Church for pastime, nor durst laugh To heare the non-plust Doctor faigne a cough. The Devill himselfe, alas! now durst not stand Within the switching of the Sextons wand, For so a while the Priests did him pursue, That he was faine to keep the Sabbath too, Lest being taken in the Elders lure, He should have paid his crown unto the poore; And lest he should like a deceiver come ’Twixt the two Sundays _inter stitium_, They stuft up Lecturers with texts and straw, On working-dayes to keep the Devill in awe. But strange to thinke, for all this solemn meeknesse, At length the Devill appeared in his likenesse, While these deceits did but supply the wants Of broken unthrifts, and of thread-bare Saints. Oh what will men not dare, if thus they dare Be impudent to Heaven, and play with Prayer! Play with that feare, with that religious awe Which keeps men free, and yet is mans great law: What can they but the worst of Atheists be, Who while they word it ’gainst impiety, Affront the throne of God with their false deeds, Alas, this wonder in the Atheist breeds. Are these the men that would the Age reforme, That Down with Superstition cry, and swarme This painted Glass, that Sculpture to deface, But worship pride, and avarice in their place. Religion they bawle out; yet know not what Religion is, unlesse it be to prate. Meeknesse they preach, but study to controule; Mony they’d have, when they cry out the soule. And angry, will not have Our Father said, ’Cause it prayes not enough for daily bread. They meet in private, and cry Persecution, When Faction is their end, and State-confusion, These are the men that plague and over-run Like Goths and Vandalls all Religion. Every _Mechanick_ either wanting stock Or wit to keep his trade must have a flock. The Spirit, cryes he, moveth me unto it, And what the Spirit bids, must I not do it? But having profited more than his flock by teaching, And stept into authority by preaching For a lay Office, leaves the Spirits motion And straight retreateth from his first devotion. But this he does in want, give him preferment, Off goes his gowne, God’s call is no determent. Vaine foolish people, how are ye deceiv’d? How many severall sorts have ye receiv’d Of things call’d truths, upon your backs lay’d on Like saddles for themselves to ride upon? They rid amaine, and hell and _Satan_ drove, While every Priest for his own profit strove. Can they the age thus torture with their lyes, Low’d bellowing to the world Impieties, Black as their coates, and such a silent feare Lock up the lips of men, and charme the eare? Had that same holy Israelite bin dumb, That fatall day of old had never come To _Baals_ Tribe, and thrice unhappy age While zeale and piety like mask’d in rage And vulgar ignorance. How we doe wonder Once hearing, that the heavens were fir’d to thunder Against assailing Gyants, surely men, Men thought could not presume such violence then: But ’twas no Fable, or if then it were, Behold a sort of bolder mortals here, Those undermining shifts of knavish folly, Using alike to God and men most holy; Infidels who now seem to have found out A suttler way to bring their ends about. Against the Deity then op’nly to fight By smooth insinuation and by flight: They close with God, seem to obey his Lawes, They cry alowd for him and for his cause. But while they doe their strict injunctions preach, Deny in actions what their words doe teach. _O what will men not dare, if thus they dare_ _Be impudent with Heaven, and play with Prayer!_ Yet if they can no better teach than thus, Would they would onely teach themselves, not us: So while they still on empty out-sides dwell, They may perhaps be choakt with husk and shell: While those, who can their follies well refute, By a true knowledge, doe obtaine the fruit.

_FINIS._

PUBLICATIONS OF THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY

FIRST YEAR (1946-47)

Numbers 1-6 out of print.

SECOND YEAR (1947-1948)

7. John Gay’s _The Present State of Wit_ (1711); and a section on Wit from _The English Theophrastus_ (1702).

8. Rapin’s _De Carmine Pastorali_, translated by Creech (1684).

9. T. Hanmer’s (?) _Some Remarks on the Tragedy of Hamlet_ (1736).

10. Corbyn Morris’ _Essay towards Fixing the True Standards of Wit, etc._ (1744).

11. Thomas Purney’s _Discourse on the Pastoral_ (1717).

12. Essays on the Stage, selected, with an Introduction by Joseph Wood Krutch.

THIRD YEAR (1948-1949)

13. Sir John Falstaff (pseud.), _The Theatre_ (1720).

14. Edward Moore’s _The Gamester_ (1753).

15. John Oldmixon’s _Reflections on Dr. Swift’s Letter to Harley_ (1712); and Arthur Mainwaring’s _The British Academy_ (1712).

16. Nevil Payne’s _Fatal Jealousy_ (1673).

17. Nicholas Rowe’s _Some Account of the Life of Mr. William Shakespeare_ (1709).

18. “Of Genius,” in _The Occasional Paper_, Vol. III, No. 10 (1719); and Aaron Hill’s Preface to _The Creation_ (1720).

FOURTH YEAR (1949-1950)

19. Susanna Centlivre’s _The Busie Body_ (1709).

20. Lewis Theobold’s _Preface to The Works of Shakespeare_ (1734).

21. _Critical Remarks on Sir Charles Grandison, Clarissa, and Pamela_ (1754).

22. Samuel Johnson’s _The Vanity of Human Wishes_ (1749) and Two _Rambler_ papers (1750).

23. John Dryden’s _His Majesties Declaration Defended_ (1681).

24. Pierre Nicole’s _An Essay on True and Apparent Beauty in Which from Settled Principles is Rendered the Grounds for Choosing and Rejecting Epigrams_, translated by J. V. Cunningham.

FIFTH YEAR (1950-51)

25. Thomas Baker’s _The Fine Lady’s Airs_ (1709).

26. Charles Macklin’s _The Man of the World_ (1792).

27. Frances Reynolds’ _An Enquiry Concerning the Principles of Taste, and of the Origin of Our Ideas of Beauty, etc._ (1785).

28. John Evelyn’s _An Apologie for the Royal Party_ (1659); and _A Panegyric to Charles the Second_ (1661).

29. Daniel Defoe’s _A Vindication of the Press_ (1718).

30. Essays on Taste from John Gilbert Cooper’s _Letters Concerning Taste_, 3rd edition (1757), & John Armstrong’s _Miscellanies_ (1770).

SIXTH YEAR (1951-1952)

31. Thomas Gray’s _An Elegy Wrote in a Country Church Yard_ (1751); and _The Eton College Manuscript_.

32. Prefaces to Fiction; Georges de Scudéry’s Preface to _Ibrahim_ (1674), etc.

33. Henry Gally’s _A Critical Essay_ on Characteristic-Writings (1725).

34. Thomas Tyers’ _A Biographical Sketch of Dr. Samuel Johnson_ (1785).

35. James Boswell, Andrew Erskine, and George Dempster. _Critical Strictures on the New Tragedy of Elvira, Written by Mr. David Malloch_ (1763).

36. Joseph Harris’s _The City Bride_ (1696).

37. Thomas Morrison’s _A Pindarick Ode on Painting_ (1767).

William Andrews Clark Memorial Library: University of California

THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY

_General Editors_

H. RICHARD ARCHER William Andrews Clark Memorial Library

R. C. BOYS University of Michigan

E. N. HOOKER University of California, Los Angeles

JOHN LOFTIS University of California, Los Angeles

The society exists to make available inexpensive reprints (usually facsimile reproductions) of rare seventeenth and eighteenth century works. The editorial policy of the Society continues unchanged. As in the past, the editors welcome suggestions concerning publications. All income of the Society is devoted to defraying cost of publication and mailing.

All correspondence concerning subscriptions in the United States and Canada should be addressed to the William Andrews Clark Memorial Library, 2205 West Adams Boulevard, Los Angeles 18, California. Correspondence concerning editorial matters may be addressed to any of the general editors. The membership fee is $3.00 a year for subscribers in the United States and Canada and 15/- for subscribers in Great Britain and Europe. British and European subscribers should address B. H. Blackwell, Broad Street, Oxford, England.

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Publications for the sixth year [1951-1952]

(At least six items, most of them from the following list, will be reprinted.)

THOMAS GRAY: _An Elegy Wrote in a Country Church Yard_ (1751). Introduction by George Sherburn.

JAMES BOSWELL, ANDREW ERSKINE, and GEORGE DEMPSTER: _Critical Strictures on the New Tragedy of Elvira_ (1763). Introduction by Frederick A. Pottle.

_An Essay on the New Species of Writing Founded by Mr. Fielding_ (1751). Introduction by James A. Work.

HENRY GALLY: _A Critical Essay on Characteristic Writing_ (1725). Introduction by Alexander Chorney.

[JOHN PHILLIPS]: _Satyr Against Hypocrits_ (1655). Introduction by Leon Howard.

_Prefaces to Fiction_. Selected and with an Introduction by Benjamin Boyce.

THOMAS TYERS: _A Biographical Sketch of Dr. Samuel Johnson_ ([1785]). Introduction by Gerald Dennis Meyer.

Publications for the first five years (with the exception of NOS. 1-4, which are out of print) are available at the rate of $3.00 a year. Prices for individual numbers may be obtained by writing to the Society.

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Make check or money order payable to THE REGENTS OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA.

End of Project Gutenberg's A Satyr Against Hypocrites, by John Phillips