A Satire Anthology

Part 19

Chapter 191,479 wordsPublic domain

CALVERLEY, CHARLES STUART Of Propriety 235 Peace: A Study 236 The Schoolmaster Abroad with His Son 233

CANNING, GEORGE The Friend of Humanity and the Knife-Grinder 92

CARLYLE, THOMAS Cui Bono? 135

CARMAN, BLISS Hem and Haw 307 The Sceptics 308

CARROLL, LEWIS Fame’s Penny Trumpet 238

CAYLEY, GEORGE JOHN An Epitaph 64

CHURCHILL, CHARLES On Smollett 73

CLAUDIUS, MATTHEW The Hen 77

CLEIVELAND, JOHN Satire on the Scots 32

CLOUGH, ARTHUR HUGH The Latest Decalogue 200 There Is No God 199

COLERIDGE, SAMUEL TAYLOR Cologne 96 Giles’ Hope 96 Job 95

COLLINS, MORTIMER The Positivists 225 Sky-Making 226

COWPER, WILLIAM A Faithful Picture of Ordinary Society 74 The Uncertain Man 74

CRABBE, GEORGE Reporters 85 Sly Lawyers 85

CRANE, STEPHEN Lines 337 War Is Kind 336

DEANE, ANTHONY C. The Beauties of Nature 317 A Certain Cure 316 John Jenkins 313

DE BÉRANGER, PIERRE JEAN The King of Yvetot (Version of W. M. Thackeray) 109

DEFOE, DANIEL Introduction to the True-Born Englishman 41

DIBDIN, CHARLES Let Us All be Unhappy Together 78

DEKKER, THOMAS Horace Concocting an Ode 23

DOBSON, AUSTIN The Love-Letter 267 The Poet and the Critics 265

DODGE, MARY MAPES Life in Laconics 263

DONNE, JOHN The Will 18

DOWLING, BARTHOLOMEW Revelry in India 210

DRYDEN, JOHN The Duke of Buckingham 37 On Shadwell 38

FAWCETT, EDGAR Chorus of Anglomaniacs (From “The Buntling Ball”) 275

FIELDING, HENRY An Epistle to Sir Robert Walpole 65

FITZGERALD, EDWARD The Miser 166

FOSS, SAMUEL WALTER The Fate of Pious Dan 298 The Meeting of the Clabberhuses 300 The Origin of Sin 294 A Philosopher 295

GAY, JOHN The Quidnunckis 54 The Sick Man and the Angel 55

GILBERT, W. S. The Æsthete 260 Anglicised Utopia 252 The Ape and the Lady 250 Etiquette 254 Sleep On 249 To the Terrestrial Globe 240

GILDER, RICHARD WATSON Give Me a Theme 274 The Poem, to the Critic 274 The Tool 273

GILMAN, CHARLOTTE PERKINS (Stetson) A Conservative 304 Wedded Bliss 303

GOLDSMITH, OLIVER An Elegy on the Death of a Mad Dog 72

GREENWOOD, GRACE A Fragment 212

HALLECK, FITZ-GREENE Woman 132

HARRINGTON, SIR JOHN Of a Certain Man 16 A Precise Tailor 16

HAY, JOHN Distiches 264

HEBER, REGINALD Sympathy 111

HERFORD, OLIVER A Butterfly of Fashion 322 Earth 321

HERVEY, THOMAS KIBBLE The Devil at Home 149

HOLCROFT, THOMAS Gaffer Gray (From “Hugh Trevor”) 139

HOLMES, OLIVER WENDELL Cacoëthes Scribendi 166 Contentment 171 A Familiar Letter to Several Correspondents 167

HOOD, THOMAS Cockle v. Cackle 140 Our Village 145

HORACE, QUINTUS HORATIUS FLACCUS A Would-Be Literary Bore 4

HORNE, RICHARD HENGIST Pelters of Pyramids 155

HUNT, JAMES HENRY LEIGH From “The Feast of the Poets” 116

JOHNSON, HILDA Ballade of Expansion 331

JONSON, BEN On Don Surly 24

JUVENAL The Wish for Length of Life 6

KIPLING, RUDYARD The Conundrum of the Workshops 326 General Summary 324

LANG, ANDREW Ballade of Literary Fame 274

LEMON, MARK How to Make a Man of Consequence 173

LEVER, CHARLES The Widow Malone 173

LOINES, RUSSELL HILLIARD On a Magazine Sonnet 321

LOOMIS, CHARLES BATTELL The Evolution of a “Name” 310

LOVER, SAMUEL Father-Land and Mother-Tongue 135 Father Molloy 136

LOVELACE, RICHARD Song 34

LOWELL, JAMES RUSSELL From “A Fable for Critics” 201 The Pious Editor’s Creed 206

LUDLOW, FITZ-HUGH Too Late 261

LYNDSAY, SIR DAVID A Carman’s Account of a Lawsuit 12

LYSAGHT, EDWARD Kitty of Coleraine 91

LYTTON, ROBERT BULWER Midges 230

MACKAY, CHARLES Cynical Ode to an Ultra-Cynical Public 192 The Great Critics 193

MARSTON, JOHN The Scholar and His Dog 25

MARVELL, ANDREW The Character of Holland 35

MATTHEWS, BRANDER An Advanced Thinker 282

MEREDITH, GEORGE Hiding the Skeleton 229

MOORE, THOMAS Eternal London 105 Lying 108 The Modern Puffing System 106

MORSE, JAMES HERBERT Fame 269

MUNKITTRICK, RICHARD KENDALL To Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra 287 What’s in a Name? 288

NEAVES, LORD CHARLES How to Make a Novel 150

NOEL, THOMAS The Pauper’s Drive 175

O’KEEFE, JOHN The Friar of Orders Gray 79

OSBORN, SELLECK A Modest Wit 112

OUTRAM, GEORGE The Annuity 156

PEACOCK, THOMAS L. Rich and Poor; or, Saint and Sinner 117

PITT, WILLIAM The Sailor’s Consolation 152

POPE, ALEXANDER From “The Epistle to Dr. Arbuthnot” 60 Sandys’ Ghost 57

PRAED, WINTHROP M. Verses on Seeing the Speaker Asleep in His Chair During one of the Debates of the First Reformed Parliament 154

PRIOR, MATTHEW An Epitaph 43 The Remedy Worse Than the Disease 45

PROUT, FATHER Malbrouck 161

PUNCH A Match 343

RALEIGH, SIR WALTER The Soul’s Errand 13

ROCHE, JAMES JEFFREY A Boston Lullaby 277 The V-A-S-E 278 The Net of Law 277

RÜCKERT, FRIEDRICH Greediness Punished 130

RUTEBŒUF The Ass’s Legacy 7

SACKVILLE, CHARLES, EARL OF DORSET Satire on Edward Howard 39

SANCTA-CLARA, ABRAHAM Á St. Anthony’s Sermon to the Fishes 39

SAXE, JOHN GODFREY The Mourner à la Mode 197 Woman’s Will 196

SCOTT, SIR WALTER Nora’s Vow 94

SEAMAN, OWEN “The Hurt that Honour Feels” 310

SHAKESPEARE, WILLIAM From “As You Like It” 22 From “Love’s Labour’s Lost” 21 From “King Henry IV.” 20

SHELLEY, PERCY BYSSHE Ozymandias 134

SHERIDAN, RICHARD BRINSLEY The Literary Lady 84

SHERIDAN, THOMAS Dr. Delany’s Villa 52

SILL, EDWARD ROWLAND Five Lives 270

SMITH, HARRY B. Same Old Story 306

SMITH, JAMES Christmas Out of Town 103 The Poet of Fashion 101

SOUTHEY, ROBERT The Battle of Blenheim 97 The Well of St. Keyne 99

STEDMAN, EDMUND CLARENCE The Diamond Wedding 240

STEPHEN, J. K. To R. K. 286 A Sonnet 284 A Thought 283

SUCKLING, SIR JOHN The Constant Lover 27 The Remonstrance 28

SWIFT, JONATHAN The Furniture of a Woman’s Mind 48 Twelve Articles 46

TAYLOR, BAYARD A Review 221

TAYLOR, HENRY Two Characters 151

TAYLOR, JANE The Philosopher’s Scales 114

TENNYSON, ALFRED On Lytton 177

THACKERAY, WILLIAM MAKEPEACE Damages, Two Hundred Pounds 182 Mr. Molony’s Account of the Ball Given to the Nepaulese Ambassador by the Peninsular and Oriental Company 179 Sorrows of Werther 178

THOMAS, EDITH M. They Said 284

TORRENCE, FREDERIC RIDGELY From “The House of a Hundred Lights” 340

TROLLOPIAD, FROM THE The British Visitor 343

VIELÉ, HERMAN KNICKERBOCKER The Font in the Forest 294

VILLON, FRANÇOIS A Ballade of Old-Time Ladies (Translated by John Payne) 11

WARE, EUGENE FITCH He and She 272

WEATHERLY, FREDERICK EDWARD A Bird in the Hand 281 Thursday 280

WITHER, GEORGE The Manly Heart 26

WOLCOTT, JOHN (PETER PINDAR) On Johnson 75 To Boswell 76

YATES, EDMUND All-Saints 237

YOUNG, EDWARD From “The Love of Fame” 50

YRIARTE, TOMAS The Country Squire 80 The Eggs 83

A

PARODY ANTHOLOGY

BY

CAROLYN WELLS

OCTAVO. $1.25 _net._ FULL LIMP LEATHER. In a Box, $1.50 _net._

“A book which bubbles with fun from cover to cover, which is so full of humor, indeed, that the reader will be apt to forget its serious purpose.”--_Brooklyn Eagle._

“Constructed on an excellent plan and with good discretion, rendering it an excellent work of reference, as well as one of entertainment.”--_Boston Herald._

“Miss Wells has placed the lover of genuine humor under a debt of lasting gratitude.”--_Brooklyn Life._

“The parody has been a shining mark for the pen points of novices. Some of them hit it off, and more of them didn’t. Miss Wells seems to have found those who did.”--_Chicago Evening Post._

“The collection is a worthy one, deserving a place in every library of fun.”--_Chicago Record-Herald._

“Probably there is no better collection of parodies than this.”--_Detroit Free Press._

A

NONSENSE ANTHOLOGY

BY

CAROLYN WELLS

OCTAVO. $1.25 _net._ FULL LIMP LEATHER. In a Box, $1.50 _net._

“All lovers of good nonsense will be grateful to Miss Carolyn Wells for compiling ‘A Nonsense Anthology.’”--_Boston Herald._

“A book that the shelves of no lover of the humorous should be without.... Miss Wells is to be congratulated on doing something that had not been done before.”--_N. Y. Evening Sun._

“A book that will bring joy to both young and old. Miss Wells has an appreciation of fooling that is not a common attribute of her sex, and a sense of humor that is exemplified by many delightful productions of her own. In making the selections for the present volume she has shown excellent judgment and a wide acquaintance with the special sort of verse that is concerned.”--_The Dial._

“Almost every one will find his or her favorite selections in this volume.”--_The Outlook._

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Transcriber’s Notes:

Obvious punctuation errors repaired.

Page xiv, “Aethete” changed to “Æsthete” (The Æsthete)

Page 186, “o” changed to “to” (you’ve a right to)

Page 190, “Wate” changed to “Water” (Water your damned)

Page 190, “Wha ’s” changed to “What’s” (What’s the Greek)

Page 210, “hat” changed to “that” (the next that dies)

Page 246, “wo ds” changed to “words” (words were the power)

Page 259, “Somer” changed to “Somers” (and Somers takes the south)

Page 351, “Aethete” changed to “Æsthete” (Æsthete, The)

Page 364, “Aethete” changed to “Æsthet” (The Æsthete)