Part 5

And this is a common fault with flatterers, that counterfet them selves to be our friendes, and apply them selves ever to our desiers, what soever they be: not bycause wee would have it so, but to the ende wee should doe them some pleasure, for it. And this is not to please us, but to deceive us. And albeit this kind of fault be, peradventure, by reason of custome sufferable: yet notwithstanding bycause of it selfe, it is fowle and hurtefull, it ill becomes a gentle man to doe it. For it is no honestie to seeke a pleasure by the hurt of another. And if lies and false flatteries, may bee termed Ceremonies (as I have saide before:) so oft, as we use them for respect of our gain & profit: so oft wee doe hazard our good name and credite: so that this consideration alone, might move us well to leave all Ceremonies, and use them no more.

It resteth now that I speake of those y^t bee done of Dutie, and of those that be done of a Vainesse. As touching y^e first, We must not leave them undone in any wise. For he that faileth to doe them, dothe not onely displease, but doth a wrong to him, to whome they be due. And many times it chaunceth y^e men come to daggers drawing, even for this occasion alone, that one man hath not done the other, that worship and honour uppon the way, that he ought. For to saye a trueth The power of custome is great & of much force, (as I said) and would be taken for a lawe, in these cases. And that is the cause we say: You: to every one, that is not a man of very base calling, and in suche kinde of speach wee yealde such a one, no maner of courtesie of our owne. But if wee say: Thou: to suche a one, then wee disgrace him and offer him outrage and wronge: and by suche speach, seeme to make no better reconing of him, then of a knave and a clowne.

And although the times past, and other countries, have used other maners: let us yet, keepe ourselves to our owne: And let not us dispute the matter, which is the better of twaine. For wee must observe, not those, that we Judge in our owne conceits to be good: but suche, as be currant by custome, & used in our owne time: as lawes, which we be bound to keepe, thoughe they be not all of the best, till suche time, as the magistrates, the Prince, or they that have power to amend them, have chaunged them to better.

So that It behoves us, hedefully to marke the doings and speache, wherewith daily practise and custome, wonteth to receave, salute, & name in our owne country, all sortes and kinds of people, and in all our familiar communication with men, let us use the same. And notwithstanding the Admerall (as peradventure the maner of his time was suche) in his talke with Peter the King of Aragon, did many times: Thou him: Let us yet saye to our King: Your majestie: and your highnes: aswell in speache as in writing. And if they have followed the use of their time: then let not us breake the fashions of ours. And these doe I call Duetifull Ceremonies, bycause they proceede not, as we would, or of our owne free willes: but are laide uppon us by the Lawes: I meane, Common custome.

And in suche things, as carry no evill meaning in them, but rather some face of courtesie: reason would and commaundeth, we shoulde rather observe common Custome, then dispute and lay the lawe for them.

And albeit, to kisse in shewe of reverence, of very right appertaineth to the reliques of Saints and there holy matters: yet if it bee the maner of your country, at parting, to say: Signori, Io vi bascio la mano. Or: Io son vostro servidore: Or els: vostro schiavo in catena: you must not disdaine it, more then other. But, In farewelles and writings, you must salute and take leave, not as reason, but as custome will have you: and not as men wont in times past, or should doe: but as men use at this day: for it is a chorlishe maner to say: What greate gentleman is he I pray you, that I must master him: Or: is he becom master parson, that I must kisse his hands? for he that is wont to be (Sird) and likewise (Sirreth) other: may thinke you disdaine him, and use some outrage unto him, when you call him to his face, by his bare name, and give him no addition.

And these termes of Seignory, service, & duetye, and such other like unto these, as I have saide: have lost a greate parte of their harshnes, and (as hearbes long steepte in the water) are sweetened, and made softe and tender, by reason of muche speache in mens mouthes, and continuall use to speake them. So that we must not abhorre them, as some rude and rusticall fellowes, full of foolishe simplicitie, doe: that would faine beginne the letters we write to Kinges and Emperours after this sort, vz. If thou and thy children be in healthe it is well: I am also in healthe: saying, that suche was the beginning of the letters, the Latins did write to the magistrates of Rome. If men should live by their measure, and go backe to those fashions and maners, our first fathers did use: the worlde then by litle and litle, would come so about, that we should feede uppon acornes againe.

And in these Duetifull Ceremonies, there be also certain rules and precepts, we must observe: that wee may not bee touched w^t Vainesse and Pride. And first of all, wee must consider the country where wee doe live. For all customes be not currant a like in all countreys. And peradventure that which they use in Naples, which is a Citye replenished with gentlemen, of good houses, and Lordes of greate power, were not so fitte for Florens and Luke: Which are inhabited, for the most part, with Merchants and plaine gentlemen, without any Prince, Marques, or Barone amongest them. So that the brave and Lordelike manners of the gentlemen of Naples transported to Florence: should be but waste, and more then needes: like a tall mans gowne cast over a dwarfe: as also the manners of Florence shoulde be to pinchinge and straite, for the Noble natures and mindes of the gentlemen of Naples. And although the gentlemen of Venice use great embracings and entertainementes amongst themselves, and fawne without measure the one on the other, by reason of their offices, degrees and favours they looke to finde when they meete and assemble to choose their officers: yet for all this, it is not convenient, that the good men of Rouigo, or the Citizens of Asolo, should use the like solemnities, embraceings and entertainements one to another, haveing no such kinde of cause amongst them: Albeit all that same countrie (if I bee not deceived) is falne a litle, into these kinde of follies, as over carelesse and apt inough by nature, or rather learning those maners of Venice their Lady and Mistris: because Everie man gladly seeketh to tread the steps of his better: although there be no reason for it.

Moreover we must have a regarde to the time, to the age, and the condition of him, to whom we use these ceremonies, and likewise respect our owne calling: and with men of credite maintaine them: but w^t men of small account cut them of cleane, or at least, abridge them as muche as wee may, & rather give them a becke then a due garde: Which the courtiers in Rome can very well skill to doe.

But in some cases these Ceremonies be very combersome to a mans busines, and very tedious: as "Cover your head," sayes the Judge, y^t is busied w^t causes, and is scanted of time to dispatche them. And this fellow so full of these Ceremonies, after a number of legges and shuflinge curtesis, aunswers againe: "Sir I am very well thus." But sayes the Judge againe, "Cover your head I say." Yet this good fellow tourning twise or thrise to & fro, making lowe conges downe to the grounde w^t muche reverence and humilitie, aunswers him, still: "I beseache your worship, let me doe my duetie." This busines and trouble lasteth so long, & so muche time is trifled: that the Judge might very nere have dispatched all his busines within that space. Then, although it be every honest mans parte, and the duety of every meaner body, to honour the Judges, and men y^t be called to worship & honour: yet, where time will not beare it: it is a very troublesome thing to use it, and it must be eschewed, or measured with reason.

Neither be y^e self same Ceremonies semely for young men, respecting their Age: y^t ould men doe use together. Nor yet can it becom men of meane and base condition, to use the very same, y^t gentlemen & greate men may use one to another. And if wee marke it well, we shall find, y^t the greatest, y^e best men, & men of most valour, doe not alwayes use y^e most Ceremonies them selves, nor yet love nor looke a man should make many goodly curtsies unto them, as men that can ill spend their thoughts one matters so vaine.

Neither must handy crafts men, nor men of base condition, buisie them selves to much, in over solemne Ceremonies to greate men, and Lordes: it is not lookt for in suche. For they disdaine them, more then allowe them: because it seemes that in such, they seeke, & looke, rather for obedience and duetie, then honour. And therefore it is a foule faulte in a servaunt, to offer his master his service: for he counts it his shame, & he thinks the servant doth make a doubt, whether he is master or no; as if it were not in him to imploy him, & commaund him too. These kinde of Ceremonies would be used frankely. For, What a man dothe of duetie, is taken for a debte, and hee finds him selfe litle beholding to him that doth it. But he that dothe more then he is bound to: it seems he parteth with somewhat, and that makes men to love him, and to commende him for a liberall man. And I remember mee well, I have hearde it saide, that a worthy Graecian a greate versifier, was ever wont to saye: that He that could skill to entertaine men with a small adventure, made a greate gaine.

You shall then use youre Ceremonies, as the tailer shapes his garments, rather to large then to litle: but yet not so, that hee cutteth one hose large inough to make a cloke. And if thou doe use in this point, some litle gentle behaviour, to suche as be meaner then thy selfe: thou shalt be counted lowly. And if thou doe asmuche to thy betters: thou shalt bee saide a Gentleman well taught, and courtious. But hee that dothe herin to muche, and is over lavishe, shalbe blamed as vaine and light: and perhaps worse thought of too: counted a busie body, a fidging fellowe, and in wise mens sight, a flatterer: which vice, our elders have called, (if I doe not forget me) dowble diligence. And there is no faulte in the worlde, more to bee abhorred, or y^t worsse beseemes a gentleman, then this. And this is the thirde maner of Ceremonies, which simply procedeth of our owne will, and not of custome.

Let us then remember, that Ceremonies, (as I have alwayes said) were not so necessarie by nature, but a man might doe well inough without them: As for example, our countrie lived (it is not long since) in maner cleane without any. But other mens diseases have infected us, with these infirmities and many mo. So that, custome and use observed: the rest that is more, is but waste: and such a sufferable leesing, as if it be more in deede then is in use, it is not only unsufferable, but forbidden: and so uppon, the matter, a cold and unsavourie thing to noble mindes, that cannot brouse uppon shrubbes and shewes.

And you shall understand, that trusting my owne skill but little, in writing this present treatise: I thought good to consult with many, and to take the Judgement of better learned men then my selfe. And this in my reading I finde. There was a King, they call him Oedipus: being banished and driven out of his countrie (uppon what occasion I know not) he fled to King Theseus at Athens, the better to save him selfe and his life, from his enemies, that mainely pursued him. This Oedipus now comming before the presence of Theseus, by good chaunce hearing his daughter speake, (whome he knew by her voice, for he was blind and could not beholde her with his eyes) he was so presently striken with joy, that, not tarying to doe his allegeaunce and duetie to the King, he did presently embrace, & make much of his daughter before him: his fatherly affection so led him, and rulde him so. But in the end finding his fault, and better advising himselfe of his doings: he would needs excuse it to Theseus, & humbly prayd his grace to pardon his folly. The good and wise King, cut of his talke, and bad him leave his excuses, and thus saide unto him: Comfort thy selfe, Oedipus, and bee not dismayd at that thou hast done. For I will not have my life honoured with other mens woordes, but with my owne deedes. Which sentence a man should have alwayes in mind.

And albeit men be well pleased, that men doe give them worship & honour: yet when they find them selves cuningly courted, they be soone weary of it, and also disdaine it. For these glaverings, or flatteries I should say, to amend their knaveries & falsehoodes, have this fault withall: that these glavering fellowes doe plainly shewe, they count him, whome they court in this sorte, but a vaine, and arrogant bodie, an asse of grose capacitie, and so simple, y^t it should be an easie matter to baite him and take him too. And these Vaine and Curious Ceremonies, besides that they be superfluous: they beare with all a shape of flattery, so slenderly covered, that every man doth openly see them, and know them plaine: in suche sorte, that they that doe them, to the end to make a gaine, besides that ill that is in them, wherof I spake before: shewe them selves also, gentlemen ill taught, without good maner or any honest fashion.

But there is another sorte of Ceremonious people, who make it an arte and merchandise, and keepe a booke and a reconing of it. One these men (they say) they must smile, on such men they must laughe: and y^e better man shall sit in the chair, and the other uppon a lowe stoole: which superstitious Ceremonies, I beleve, were transported out of Spaine into Italie. But our country, hath geven them but colde entertainement, and as yet they have taken but slender roote here: for this precise difference of worship, and gentry, is not liked of, with us. And therefore it is but ill maner, for a man to make him selfe Judge, which is the better man.

But it is much worse for a man to make a sale of his Ceremonies and entertainments, (after y^e maner of harlots) as I have seene many gentlemen doe in the court, geving good wordes and faire countenaunces for a rewarde and recompence, of the goods and the time, their servaunts have spent in their service.

And sure they that take a pleasure to use over many Ceremonies, more then neede: shewe they doe it uppon a lustines and bravery, as men that have nothing elles in them of any valour.

And bycause these follies are learned w^t ease inough, and carry withall a litle faire glose in shewe: they bestowe all their whole mindes none other waye. But grave matters they can not abide to weelde, as things to farre above their reache: and coulde finde in their harts to dwell in these toyes and trifles, as men whose capacitie conceiveth nought of Importaunce: like tender milkesops that can beare no brunt: or that, beside a glorious outside, have not mettall inough in them to abide a flea biting. And therfore, they could wishe it were so: that these entertainments and acquaintance with men, should go no further then the first sight. And of these there bee an infinite number.

And some againe be to full of words, and abound to muche in curtious gestures to cover and hide the defects and faults of their treacheries, and their vile & base natures: For they see, if they should be as baren & rude in their woords, as they be in their deeds & their doings, men would in no case abide them. And to saye a trueth, yow shall finde y^t one of these two causes, drawe most men one, to use these wast and needles Ceremonies, and nothing els: which lightly most men cannot away withall, bycause they be hindered by them, & their meanes, to live as they would, and lose their libertie: whiche a man dothe preferre above anything ells.

Wee must not speake ill of other men, nor of their doings: althoughe it plainely appere, that men do willingly lend good eare to heare it, as easily moved therto, by y^e nature of malice and envy, that pines at our Neighbours prosperity and rising to worship & honour: for at length men will eschewe the acquaintaunce of Slaunderous people, as much as they shunne the Oxe, y^t goreth with his horns, or strikes w^t his feete: making their reconing, that what they tell them of us, asmuche they will tell us, of them.

And some ther be, that so quarel at every word, question, and wrangle, that they shew they have litle skill in other mens natures: for, Every man desireth the victory should go one his side: and hates it asmuche, to be mastered in words, as to be vanquished in any other acte that he dothe. So y^t, willfully to overthwart a man, it workethe no Love and good will: but rather displeasure, rancoure and malice. And therfore, he that sekes to be well thought of, and would be taken for a pleasaunt and good Companion, must not so redily use these speaches: It was not so: And, Nay: it is as I tell you. I wil lay a wager with you: But he must rather take pains, to apply himself to other mens minds concerning such things, as have matter of small importaunce: By cause the victorye, in such cases, is daungerous: for, the gaininge the cause, in trifling questions, dooth often loose the Love of a faithfull friend. And men are so farre out of love & liking, of such hot fellowes: that they will by no meanes growe acquainted with suche, least they be driven every hower to bralle, to chide, and to fighte with them for it. And suche kinde of people doe purchase these names: Maister Uniciguerra: Or, Sir Contraponi: Or, Sir Tuttesalle: And sometime: il Dottor suttile.

And if you chaunce otherwhile, to be intreated of the company to speake your mind: I would have you doe it after a gentle sort, without shewing your selfe so greedie to carry the bucklers away, as if you would eate them up for haste. But you must Leave to every man his parte: And bee it right or wronge, consent to the minds of the most, or the most importunate: and so leave the fielde unto them: that some other, and not your selfe, may beate and sweat, and chace in the winning of the cause. For these quarelous contentions, bee foule and ill favoured fashions for gentlemen to use: and they get them ill will and displeasure of all men for it: and they bee uncomely for their owne unseemelines, which of it selfe offendeth every good honest minde, as it may chaunce you shall heare hereafter.

But the common fault of men is such, and eche man is so infected with this selfe love and liking of him selfe: that he hath no respect or care to please any man ells.

And to shewe them selves fine headed, of muche understanding, and wise: they counsell, reprove, dispute, and bralle, to daggers drawing, and allowe nothing els but that they say them selves.

To offer advise, unrequested: what is it els but to vaunt youre selfe wiser then he is, whom you do counsell: nay rather it is a plaine checke to him, for his Ignoraunce and folly. And therfore, you must not do so, with all your acquaintance generally: but only with your very friendes, or suche whom you are to governe & rule: or els, when a man hapely standes in daunger & perill, how muche a straunger so ever he be. But in our common Acquaintance and conversation, Let us not busy our selves, and medle to muche with other mens doings. In which fault many doe fall: but most of all, the men of least understanding. For, Men of grose capacities consider but litle: And they take no longe time to debate with them selves, as men that have litle busines to doe.

But how so ever it be, hee that offereth and geveth his counsell: geves us to thinke, hee hathe this conceite of him selfe: that all the witt is in him, and other poore men have none at all.

And sure there bee some, that stand so muche in conceite of their wit: that they will be in maner, at warres, with him, that wil not follow the counsell they give them. And thus they will say: "Very well: a poore mans counsell will not be taken: suche a one will doe as he list: suche a one geves no heede to my wordes." As though there were not more Arrogancie in thee, that sekest to bring a man to followe thy Counsell: then there is in him, that followes his owne advise.

And they doe also make the like fault, y^t take uppon them to reprove and correct mens faults, and to geve a definite sentence in all things, and lay the lawe to all men. "Suche a thing would not be done: You spake suche woordes: Doe not so: say not so: The wine that you drinke is not good for you: it would be red wine. You should use suche an Electuarie, and suche pilles:" And they never leave to reprove and correct. And let us passe that over, that otherwhile, they busy them selves so much, to purge other mens grounds: that their owne is overgrowen, and full of thornes and nettles. For it is a mervailous paine unto them, to heare one that side.

And as there be few or none, whose minds can frame, to spend their life with a Physition, a Confessour, and muche lesse a Judge that hath jurisdiction and power to controwle and correct all criminall faultes: so is ther not one, that can take any pleasure to live, or make himself familiar with suche Censors: so hard, and severe. For, every man loveth libertye: and they woulde robbe us of it, and get to be our masters. So that it is no good manner to be so redie to corect and give rules unto men: we must geve Scholemasters and Fathers leave to do that. And yet that notwithstanding, experience doth shewe, the childeren and scholers both, do often hide them selves from them, you see.

I doe not allow, that a man should scorne or scoffe at any man, what so ever he be: no not his very enimy, what displeasure so ever he beare him: for, it is a greater signe of contempt and disdaine, to scorne a man, then to do him an open wrong: forasmuch as wrongs may be done, either of choler, or of som covetous minde or other. And ther is no man will take a displeasure with that, or for that, he doth not set by: nor yet covet that thing, he doth altogether contemne. So that, a man doth make some accompt of him he dothe wronge: but of him that he scoffes and scornes, he makes no reconing at all, or as litle as may be.

And the Nature and effect of a scorne, is properly to take a contentation and pleasure to do another man shame and villany: thoughe it do our selves no good in the world. So that, good maner & honesty, would us beware we scorne no man in any case: wherin they be much to be blamed, that reprove men those blemishes they have in their person, either in woords, as Master Forese da Rabatta did, laughing at the countenaunce of Master Giotta: or in deeds, as many doe, counterfeting those that stutter, haulte, or be crookte shoulderd. And likewise, they that scoffe at any man, that is deformed, ill shapen, leane, litle, or a dwarfe, ar much to be blamed for it: or, that make a gibing and jesting at such follies as another man speaketh, or the woordes that escape him by chaunce: and with all, have a sporte and a pleasure to make a man blush: all these spitefull behaviours and fashions, worthely deserve to be hated, and make them that use them, unworthy to beare the name of an honest gentleman.