Part 2

"Etheroel!" Commissioner Webster jerked back suddenly, spilling his cup of liquor.

"Yeah, how do I get an _equals_?"

Webster shook his head worriedly. "You'll have to go to the _Uvan Thought Clinic_. Just present an _equals_ there and they'll give you a completed answer." Webster hesitated a second, fished into his pocket and brought out a personal calling card. He handed it to Bill. "There's liable to be some trouble," he added. "If you get in trouble, here's my card."

Webster jumped back again at the sound of footsteps shuffling near the door. He hastily hid the brandy flask and three cups, and not a moment too soon for Castlebottom and an Uvan guard who lugged a stubby radium-plate gun around without the vaguest notion of why he carried it, burst into the office.

"So! Stealing my fiancé, you despicable freebooter," he cried, shaking his fist at Bill.

"Tut, Tut," Bill grinned. "Watch out. You're under arrest. Whatever you say'll be held against you."

Castlebottom smouldered pinkly. "Arrest! You'll be under arrest. I've radioed the Patrol to rescue Kitty and me."

"They can't land," said Bill.

"They'll land. They're getting a special permit from the government. I saw to that too."

* * * * *

"I say, what are you going to do about this, freebooter?" Kitty asked. She seemed to thoroughly enjoy the entire situation. She stood with her back to Webster, staring at the two younger men.

Bill grinned wryly. "You asked for it," he said. "Come on!" His arm swept around her slim, belted waist, urging her toward the door and out in the market-place.

"What are you doing?" cried Kitty.

"I'm doing a stitch in time, gal. I never run short of ideas. We're heading for the _Uvan Thought Clinic_. If I can get the right etheroel formula before the Patrol comes, I'll have Castlebottom where I want him. That formula means his job and I have an idea the Uvans don't give out duplicates."

"So that's freebooting?" The look that Kitty flashed Bill had something more in it than mere admiration.

"Hey, she's my girl!" Castlebottom bleated from the doorway. He stood there powerless for the Uvan guard's radium gun was poking a little valley in his stomach.

"Keep a sharp eye on him, Webster," Bill shouted back. "Dangerous type!"

A preposterous gurgle choked up Castlebottom's throat as Bill Petrie and Kitty Carlton disappeared, hand in hand, beyond the square.

The _Uvan Thought Clinic_ was housed in a pale amber building. It contained twelve main halls, one dedicated to each of the major sciences. In an outer-reception room, an ancient Uvan whose resin-hard body was rapidly flaking away, fastened a pair of pearl gray eyes on Bill Petrie as he presented his credentials.

"Chemistry," said the oldster.

"Fuel," answered Bill.

The old Uvan led the way to a circular chamber. There, after elaborate preparations, he sat himself on a sort of throne that floated in a bed of pure mercury.

Kitty gripped Bill's hand, excitedly. "What's that for?" she asked.

"Don't know," Bill replied. "Maybe it insulates him from contact with matter. He can think better in the abstract."

The old Uvan nodded and sat rigidly upon the throne. Suddenly the lights dimmed within the chamber, leaving only a suspended glow that was like the infinite apartness and silence of the distant universe.

"I am suitable for thought," the old Uvan spoke in a vague tone. "Give me your _equals_."

Bill squeezed Kitty's arm, whispering, "I'm going to try something just to see how this works." He faced the Uvan and spoke aloud. "I have two _equals_. The first is something that my Boss needs. The second is for the Fuel Monopoly. Here's the first."

Bill handed the Uvan a prepared slip. It asked for a chemical formula which would react on the physical body of Castlebottom in a certain manner, producing a specified result. For a second the Uvan considered the slip, absorbing the requirements. Sudden lights glowed in the segmented grape-cells composing the Uvan's head. The lights shifted from one cell to another, flickering here and there.

Abruptly, all the lights went out but a small purplish glow in the grape-cell over the Uvan's right ear. "He's got the answer," Bill whispered.

"MgSO_{4},7N_{2}O equals your problem," said the Uvan.

"Good!" Bill gasped. "Great Comets, these fellows never miss."

"But what's it the formula for?" Kitty asked.

"Epsom salts!"

"And the second equals?" demanded the vague-voiced Uvan.

Bill thrust a second slip forward. The one requiring a formula for synthetic etheroel. Again the lights, blinking like bulbs in a bank of electric lights, hopped from segment to segment in the Uvan's head, feeling around, searching for the cell that contained the correct answer.

But now something queer happened. The lights began popping madly in all the cells. They blinked on and off and ran the gamut of colors. Instantly, the old Uvan leaped from his throne, clutched his grape-cluster head and began swearing a blue streak.

Bill jerked Kitty to one side, and just in time. The Uvan charged past her, grabbed a hammer and began beating out a wild clangor upon a brass gong near the doorway.

"Bill, what is it?" Kitty cried in alarm.

"Don't know and it doesn't sound comfortable," he grunted. "We'd better get out, quick!" With Kitty at his side, he raced toward the door, past the hammer-wielding Uvan and into the reception room of the building.

"Look! Bill!" There was a note of terror in Kitty's voice.

Through the numerous doorways that debouched into the reception room, dozens of angry eyed Uvans charged. Some of them carried radium-guns which, somehow, they forgot to use. Bill glanced around hastily, then ducked into an unblocked doorway with Kitty.

"A passageway," he hissed. "It leads out. Hurry."

Racing through the dim passageway, they came to another door. This opened upon a curving Uvan street. As Bill stepped through the doorway, he saw another mob of Uvans hurrying toward the building. By now, gongs were ringing wildly throughout the entire city.

"Something went very wrong," Bill muttered. "We're going to put a lot of space between us and town."

Both he and Kitty ran as fast as their legs could carry them, following the long bed of the street. Behind them the pursuing crowd gathered in size and more natives came in from side streets.

"We're making it," gasped Kitty.

Bill glanced at the girl appreciatively. She wasn't only pretty but she was an athlete. She could run. Her face flushed with a clear golden healthiness as she matched strides with him.

* * * * *

A half mile more and they had cleared the limits of the Uvan metropolis. Bill's lungs burned for air. He had never done this much running in his life. He looked back, and thankfully, saw that the Uvans had been outdistanced and were giving up the chase. But--no!

There was still one Uvan following. Bill swore and tried to urge his feet on. Then, suddenly, the lone Uvan whizzed past them and came to a stop a short distance ahead. He stared back at Bill and Kitty, looking bewildered.

"Wait a second," murmured Bill, breathing heavily. "This may be a trick. Have you got your gun, Kitty?"

The girl shook her head.

The Uvan approached slowly, staring at Bill and the girl in friendly, though puzzled fashion. He was about an inch shorter than the average Uvan, sort of important looking and with his lavender eyes set close to the top of his head.

When he had come within ten feet, he halted again. "Please," he asked. "Who are we chasing?"

Bill's jaw sagged with surprise.

"You mean you don't know why you were running?" he demanded.

The Uvan shook his grape-clustered head. "I did know when I started, but I forgot," he answered apologetically. "I suppose you're Earthfolks. That's nice. My name's Olé. I'm chief editor of the _Uvan Clarion_."

"So you publish a paper here?" Kitty smiled.

"Yes, when we remember. How about letting me show you around?"

Bill stared at Kitty and Kitty stared at Bill. Both smiled.

"The first thing to see on Uva is...." The little Uvan named Olé pointed toward a structure which looked to Bill like a capped artesian well. It was then that Olé hurriedly changed his mind. "No, I really can't show you that," he said.

"Why?" asked Bill.

"Why? Well, because the gongs would ring again. Then I'd have to run. So would you."

"Run?" Bill muttered. He looked at the well more carefully. The super-structure stood above a shack constructed of some amber substance. It was quiet. He could neither hear nor see any signs of activity. Somehow it gave him an idea. "Voices are telling me there's a guard inside there and I ought to have a look around," he said to himself.

Turning toward Kitty, he saw her blushing in deep embarrassment. Olé, the Uvan, was indulging in a bit of scientific research. He was poking his resin-hard finger into the soft flesh of Kitty's arm and marveling at the sight of the skin yielding to his touch.

"Soft, eh?" he announced in a high-pitched voice. "Are all you people soft like that?"

Bill shot the girl a warning glance and quickly disappeared in the direction of the well while Olé wasn't looking. If it had been Castlebottom touching Kitty, it would have been a different matter.

As he cut around to the far side of the amber well-shack, Bill abruptly came to a halt. He stood there for a second, motionless, barely daring to breathe. A Uvan guard, with an eye in front of his head and another in the back, crouched in the doorway. Bill waited another minute. The eye in front didn't move.

"Asleep," he murmured at last.

He moved silently, edging around the Uvan, finally gaining entry into the shack. His eyes swept around swiftly, taking in the jumble of motionless, rusted machinery, the pumps and the well-collar.

"They drilled here for something, and pumped something out," he thought aloud. He crossed to the well-collar where his gaze dropped upon a hand shut-off valve. The valve had been sealed.

Bill's eyes widened as he noted the date stamped on the seal. It was dated 2201 A.D. That was the year the Planetoid had been taken under the protective wing of the Interworld Government.

Curious, Bill fumbled with the seal. Then he made up his mind. "I'm in trouble now. May as well go the whole hog." He jerked his arm, breaking the seal off. Then he twisted the valve, the rust flaking away as he forced it open.

Suddenly a gong thundered behind him. He pivoted in time to see the door guard bang an alarm gong with the butt of his radium-plate gun, then reverse the gun. Bill froze in his tracks, his hand tight upon the well valve, as he started into the muzzle of the leveled gun.

"Hey wait a second," he shouted at the guard.

The Uvan's head was ablaze with violently popping colored cell-lights. He banged the gong once more and then started to trigger his gun.

"Be reasonable!" Bill shouted. He lunged to one side, taking the shut-off valve handle with him. A liquid hissing burst in his ears. He glimpsed a stream of strong-smelling liquid shoot from the well valve, over his head, spearing the Uvan guard with a tremendous splash. Then he shook himself. He could hardly believe what his eyes saw. _The Uvan simply melted under the liquid!_ In less than a minute there was nothing but a lump of resinous substance on the floor and a radium gun in the middle of it.

Bill shook his head as though he were suffering from a fantastic form of nightmare generally known as "space jitters." He jammed the shut-off valve back into place without actually accounting for his actions and stumbled out of the shack.

"Bill, where have you been?" It was Kitty.

"Where have I been? Great Comets, I know the ropes now! Let's get Webster before the Patrol comes."

* * * * *

"Oh," said Uvan Commissioner Webster as he saw Bill, Kitty and Olé stumble into the parlor of his residence, "I thought you were the Tubby person. Made so much noise. He claims he's an important man--Commissioner of the Fuel Monopoly. Is that right?"

"Forget Tubby Castlebottom a moment," said Kitty. "Bill's made a discovery."

"A discovery? On Uva? That's impossible," said Webster.

"Impossible--nothing!" Bill cut in excitedly. He pushed Webster into a chair. "You know what? There's etheroel on this planetoid. The real stuff. It's drilled and ready to take off. Come on now, give me the lowdown on why those wells are sealed? Why didn't you tell me?"

Commissioner Webster stiffened in his chair. His sunny features turned dead white. For a second he gaped at his three visitors, then he noticed that little Olé looked more scared than himself.

"Y-Y-You shouldn't have found the wells," he finally stuttered. "Oh, Lord, it's the taboo."

"Taboo? You mean you knew about the etheroel wells all this time?" Bill demanded in exasperation.

Webster nodded timidly. "Certainly. But I thought you came here merely to get a formula for the synthetic fuel."

"They wouldn't give it to me."

"No. I didn't imagine they would. But trying didn't hurt," explained Webster. "You see, it's the taboo. The undersurface of Uva is fantastically rich in etheroel reservoirs. When the Spaniards first controlled Uva they exploited the etheroel hand over fist because it was worth its weight in gold. But they were ruthless about it for etheroel, like everything that has an ether-alcohol base, is death to the Uvans."

"Dissolves them, eh?" said Bill.

Webster shot back a frightened glance. "Yes, the alcohol just tears down their resin bodies. The Spaniards made the mistake of forcing the Uvans to operate the wells. Cheap labor, you know. That's why the government sealed the wells. The Uvans were more valuable as _brain-registers_ for the universe. Alcohol and caviar are the two things these people are never absent-minded about."

"Well, we've got to have that etheroel," Bill spoke firmly. "They won't give us a formula."

Webster began pacing the floor in small circles, glancing from Bill to Olé in a distraught manner. "It's a vicious circle," he muttered. "Indeed, a very vicious circle! It's up to the Interworld Government to choose between slaughtering all the Uvans if they uncap the wells, or not having the etheroel."

"It is tough, isn't it?" Bill nodded thoughtfully.

"Oh, that isn't all," replied Webster. "Don't you see what'll happen? No one in the outside world is capable of making an independent decision of this magnitude. They've gotten in the habit of referring all major problems to the _Uvan Thought Clinic_. They'll refer this one back to the Uvans and you know how the Uvans stand on the question of etheroel. What we need is a good old fashioned freebooter to take up the matter."

"Freebooter!" A thoughtful frown creased Bill Petrie's handsome brow. He glanced at Olé, the Uvan editor, who blinked his top-side eyes worriedly. If Bill had had a grape-cell head, a few lights would have popped off and on in it at this instant for the shape of an idea was forming in his brain.

Suddenly he took Kitty's two hands in his own and, staring into her deep blue eyes, said: "Kitty, you're a very wealthy gal. I need some cash. Are you, or aren't you going to radio your bank and have them open your account unconditionally to a company I'm floating right now?"

The girl stared at him, startled. Perhaps the way he held her hands, or the look of earnestness in his gaze, did something to her. She suddenly smiled, murmuring, "Yes, Bill. I'm with you. What's the company?"

"I'll sound crazy," Bill grinned. He turned to Olé and collared the little man. "Listen, Olé," he explained quickly. "You go back to the square and find my office. Open it up. Put a sign in front--Uvan Caviar Import Company. You'll be sales manager."

"Caviar!" The little Uvan's face brightened.

Bill tied a couple of strings to Ole's fingers and shoved him out the door. "Those strings are to remind you what to do when you get to the office. I'll be over there in a minute. I've got work to do now." He faced Webster. "Where's your transmitter?"

"Bill, have you gone mad?" Kitty demanded.

"Not yet, honey!" He kissed Kitty briefly but effectively, adding, "Get the money transferred to my Import Company. Then you go out to the square and keep Castlebottom happy for a half hour. He's on the pillory again. I'll see you at the office."

* * * * *

A half hour later Bill Petrie stepped from the residence transmitter room with a smile of triumph on his lips. Webster, Kitty and Olé were nowhere about so he walked briskly through the fantastically laid out streets of Uva to the market-place. There the smile faded from his mouth.

As his eyes swept the square, he knew something had gone wrong. Castlebottom was still on the pillory, sweating in the muggy heat, but the Uvans no longer crowded around him. The entire mass of resin-bodied grape heads were clamoring around Bill's office.

Bill pushed through the crowd until he came to the door where Webster stood, white faced and worried.

"They after the caviar already?" Bill grinned.

"Caviar!" Webster exclaimed. "No such thing. They've discovered that you tampered with the etheroel well and dissolved one of their people. They're working themselves up to a revolt. Give them a half hour and they'll tear us apart. This is serious."

"The patrol will be here any minute," Kitty said tensely.

Webster shook his head helplessly. "They won't do us any good. You don't know the Uvans."

The broad, heavy tones of an alarm gong vibrated across square. Uvans milled about, pressing in closer upon Bill's office entrance. Dry, high-pitched voices threw out angry cries. Hundreds of grape-cluster Uvan heads flashed their cell-like lights. Some could be seen in the daylight, some not.

Bill turned toward Olé whose own anger was slowly mounting a step behind that of the crowd in the market-place. "Calm yourself," Bill spoke sharply. "You and your people want caviar, eh? Well, behave and you'll get it. All you want. I've got the company."

"You've got caviar?" Webster cut in.

Bill shouldered the government commissioner aside and spoke rapidly with Olé. "Here's what you do, little man," he said. "Go out there and sell them stock. Yeah. Stock in our Caviar Import Company. The real stuff will be on its way here in a day or two. Now get going! Take these sales contracts."

He gave the little Uvan a shove and sent him through the doorway. Olé disappeared in the crowd, talking fast as he entered it. Bill watched tensely, then after a minute he looked toward Webster and Kitty.

Webster's eyes shifted from the market-place and met Bill's glance. The Commissioner's mouth opened, amazed. Out in the market, he had seen the sudden, incredible change that occurred among the Uvans. Their anger had turned to delighted excitement. They haggled, shouted and fought to buy up the Caviar Company stocks Olé offered.

Kitty stared at Bill accusingly. "It was a nice trick," she said. "But what makes you think they'll get any caviar?"

There was a grin on Bill's square face. "Simple," he said. "With your money, Webster's transmitter and my brain, I cornered the Interworld caviar market. Our company owns every speck of caviar that exists."

"But why?"

"Don't look so dazed, I organized the caviar to line up popular support behind me. All that I needed was the confidence of the Uvans because I've figured out a way of exploiting the etheroel wells without harming the Uvans."

Bill looked around triumphantly. "You want to hear?" he added.

"It's wonderful, Bill," Kitty murmured.

"You mean they won't dissolve?" asked Webster. A look of hope entered his eyes. "Will it work for whiskey too?"

Bill shook his head. "Afraid not," he said. "You see I did a lot of freebooting in chemistry when I worked for the Fuel Monopoly. I discovered you could hydrate etheroel the same as you hydrate diethyl ether. You just evaporate etheroel on thick blotting paper, subject it to a temperature of twenty-six degrees Fahrenheit and it becomes solid. We'll have Earthmen or Martians handle that operation. After it's solid, it won't harm the Uvans. They'll be able to ship it out. We'll dehydrate on some clearing planetoid."

"Excellent! Excellent!"

* * * * *

Bill whirled around at the first sound of the voice coming from the doorway. He saw Castlebottom standing there and behind him, three armed Space Patrolmen. There was a very satisfied smirk on Castlebottom's lips and a very efficient look about the Patrolmen.

"Excellent thought," Castlebottom said in his most administrative manner, "The Fuel Monopoly appreciated what you've done to recover the Uvan etheroel supply. We'll send you a medal--in jail! Very lucky I overheard you." He signalled the patrolmen. "All right, men, arrest him for smuggling caviar, kidnapping me and my fiancé. You might tack on a few other charges. Anything will do."

There was a little cry as Kitty threw her arms around Bill and glared at Castlebottom. "You can't arrest him. Look what he's done."

"Hah!" grunted Castlebottom, rubbing his fingers over the ham-slice folds of his neck where the pillory clamps had fitted too tightly. "He hasn't got a foot to stand on. That is what comes of freebooting. He's already given us the answer on how to save the etheroel. We'll do it ourselves. We don't need him."

"Please," Kitty pleaded.

"Do you really mean that?" said Bill. He held Kitty's cheeks in his hands, turning her face up toward his. "I guess you do," he murmured.

Suddenly he pushed Kitty aside and stepped toward Castlebottom. "Well, maybe you win," he said slowly. "But if you're going to arrest me, do me a favor. Hold your chin out like ... ah...."

Castlebottom thrust his chin forward. "Glad you're sensible about this," he said. "You mean, hold it like this?"

"That's right--perfect," exclaimed Bill.

Castlebottom's chin was tilted just right. Bill's arm suddenly went back, coiled, then shot forward with the speed and stroke of a precisely ground piston. There was a flabby crack of soft flesh being struck by harder flesh and knuckles. A kind of foolish look crossed Castlebottom's face for an instant, then he folded up like a deflated balloon. One of the Patrolmen caught him just as he hit the floor.

"That," said Bill as he licked his knuckles, "Is something I've always wanted to do."

A look of horror flashed in Kitty Carlton's eyes and she lifted a small hand to her lips. "Bill," she cried. "You shouldn't have. There's a twenty year sentence for striking a commissioner."

Castlebottom shook his head and leaned against the Patrolman who had picked him up. He tried desperately to reassemble his rage. "I'll have his hide for that!" he croaked. "Arrest him!"

Bill suddenly waved a warning finger. "You'll have nothing for that, Tubby boy. _I still hold the trump cards!_ First of all, Interworld Laws don't apply on Uva. The government here, when it remembers it's a government, is autonomous. So you can't arrest me unless the Uvans do it. Furthermore you're going to drop all charges against Kitty, myself and anyone else."

"Drop charges!" Castlebottom revived and exploded. "You practically kidnapped Kitty!"

Bill shook his finger again. "Easy there," he smiled. "If you want any etheroel, you'd better forget everything, including Kitty. You see, I control the etheroel on Uva!"

Castlebottom fell back a step, white as a sheet. "What's this, a trick?" he demanded.

"No--just freebooting," Bill grinned. "My Caviar Import Company became a big holding company. For shares in the Caviar concern, the Uvans had only two things worth trading--brains and etheroel rights. Being a freebooter myself, why, should I want anyone else's brain. Since I still hold fifty-one per cent of the Caviar Company stocks, naturally I control the etheroel rights. Come to think of it, I'm the head of two monopolies.... Maybe three.... I don't think Kitty will mind!"

"I don't think so either." It was Kitty, speaking.