Chapter 1

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_He must be a fool indeed who cannot at times play the fool; and he who does not enjoy nonsense must be lacking in sense_.

_WILLIAM J. ROLFE_.

A Nonsense Anthology

Collected by Carolyn Wells

1910

TO

GELETT BURGESS

A NONSENSE LOVER

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION JABBERWOCKY Lewis Carroll MORS IABROCHII Anonymous THE NYUM-NYUM Anonymous UFFIA Harriet R. White SPIRK TROLL-DERISIVE James Whitcomb Riley THE WHANGO TREE 1840 SING FOR THE GARISH EYE W.S. Gilbert THE CRUISE OF THE "P.C." Anonymous TO MARIE Anonymous LUNAR STANZAS Henry Coggswell Knight NONSENSE Anonymous, 1617 SONNET FOUND IN A DESERTED MAD HOUSE Anonymous THE OCEAN WANDERER Anonymous SHE'S ALL MY FANCY PAINTED HIM Lewis Carroll MY RECOLLECTEST THOUGHTS Charles E. Carryl FATHER WILLIAM Anonymous IN THE GLOAMING James C. Bayles BALLAD OF BEDLAM Punch 'TIS SWEET TO ROAM Anonymous HYMN TO THE SUNRISE Anonymous THE MOON IS UP Anonymous 'T IS MIDNIGHT Anonymous UPRISING SEE THE FITFUL LARK Anonymous LIKE TO THE THUNDERING TONE Bishop Corbet MY DREAM Anonymous MY HOME Anonymous IN IMMEMORIAM Cuthbert Bede THE HIGHER PANTHEISM IN A NUTSHELL A. C. Swinburne DARWINITY Herman Merivale SONG OF THE SCREW Anonymous MOORLANDS OF THE NOT Anonymous METAPHYSICS Oliver Herford ABSTROSOPHY Gelett Burgess ABSTEMIA Gelett Burgess PSYCHOLOPHON Gelett Burgess TIMON OF ARCHIMEDES Charles Battell Loomis ALONE Anonymous LINES BY A MEDIUM Anonymous TRANSCENDENTALISM From the Times of India INDIFFERENCE Anonymous QUATRAIN Anonymous COSSIMBAZAR Henry S. Leigh THE PERSONIFIED SENTIMENTAL Bret Harte A CLASSIC ODE Charles Battell Loomis WHERE AVALANCHES WAIL Anonymous BLUE MOONSHINE Francis G. Stokes NONSENSE Thomas Moore SUPERIOR NONSENSE VERSES Anonymous WHEN MOONLIKE ORE THE HAZURE SEAS W.M. Thackeray LINES BY A PERSON OF QUALITY Alexander Pope FRANGIPANNI Anonymous LINES BY A FOND LOVER Anonymous FORCING A WAY Anonymous THY HEART Anonymous A LOVE-SONG BY A LUNATIC Anonymous THE PARTERRE E.H. Palmer TO MOLLIDUSTA Planché JOHN JONES A.C. Swinburne THE OWL AND THE PUSSYCAT Edward Lear A BALLADE OF THE NURSERIE John Twig A BALLAD OF HIGH ENDEAVOR Anonymous THE LUGUBRIOUS WHINGWHANG James Whitcomb Riley OH! WEARY MOTHER Barry Pain SWISS AIR Bret Harte THE BULBUL Owen Seaman BALLAD Anonymous OH, MY GERALDINE F.C. Burnand BUZ, QUOTH THE BLUE FLY Ben Jonson A SONG ON KING WILLIAM III Anonymous THERE WAS A MONKEY Anonymous, 1626 THE GUINEA PIG Anonymous THREE CHILDREN London, 1662 IF Anonymous A RIDDLE Anonymous THREE JOVIAL HUNTSMEN Anonymous THREE ACRES OF LAND Anonymous MASTER AND MAN Anonymous HYDER IDDLE Anonymous KING ARTHUR Anonymous IN THE DUMPS Anonymous TWEEDLE-DUM AND TWEE-DLE-DEE Anonymous MARTIN TO HIS MAN From Deuteromelia THE YONGHY-BONGHY-BO Edward Lear THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES Edward Lear THE JUMBLIES Edward Lear INCIDENTS IN THE LIFE OF MY UNCLE ARLY Edward Lear LINES TO A YOUNG LADY Edward Lear WAYS AND MEANS Lewis Carroll THE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER Lewis Carroll THE HUNTING OF THE SNARK Lewis Carroll SYLVIE AND BRUNO Lewis Carroll GENTLE ALICE BROWN W.S. Gilbert THE STORY OF PRINCE AGIB W.S. Gilbert FERDINANDO AND ELVIRA, OR THE GENTLE PIEMAN W.S. Gilbert GENERAL JOHN W. S. Gilbert LITTLE BILLEE W. M. Thackeray THE WRECK OF THE "JULIE PLANTE" William H. Drummond THE SHIPWRECK E. H. Palmer A SAILOR'S YARN J. J. Roche THE WALLOPING WINDOW-BLIND Charles E. Carryl THE ROLLICKING MASTODON Arthur Macy THE SILVER QUESTION Oliver Herford THE SINGULAR SANGFROID OF BABY BUNTING Guy Wetmore Carryl FAITHLESS NELLY GRAY Thomas Hood THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN George Canning MALUM OPUS James Appleton Morgan ÆSTIVATION O. W. Holmes A HOLIDAY TASK Gilbert Abbott à Becket PUER EX JERSEY Anonymous THE LITTLE PEACH Anonymous MONSIEUR McGINTÉ Anonymous YE LAYE OF YE WOODPECKORE Henry A. Beers COLLUSION BETWEEN A ALEGAITER AND A WATER-SNAIK J. W. Morris ODD TO A KROKIS Anonymous SOME VERSES TO SNAIX Anonymous A GREAT MAN Oliver Goldsmith AN ELEGY Oliver Goldsmith PARSON GRAY Oliver Goldsmith AN ELEGY ON THE DEATH OF A MAD DOG Oliver Goldsmith THE WONDERFUL OLD MAN Anonymous A CHRONICLE Anonymous ON THE OXFORD CARRIER John Milton NEPHELIDIA A. C. Swinburne MARTIN LUTHER AT POTSDAM Barry Pain COMPANIONS C. S. Calverley THE COCK AND THE BULL C. S. Calverley LOVERS AND A REFLECTION C. S. Calverley AN IMITATION OF WORDSWORTH Catharine M. Fanshawe. THE FAMOUS BALLAD OF THE JUBILEE CUP Arthur T. Quiller-Couch A SONG OF IMPOSSIBILITIES W. M. Praed TRUST IN WOMEN Anonymous HERE IS THE TALE Anthony C. Deane THE AULD WIFE C. S. Calverley NOT I R. L. Stevenson MINNIE AND WINNIE Lord Tennyson THE MAYOR OF SCUTTLETON Mary Mapes Dodge THE PURPLE COW Gelett Burgess THE INVISIBLE BRIDGE Gelett Burgess THE LAZY ROOF Gelett Burgess MY FEET Gelett Burgess THE HEN Oliver Herford THE COW Oliver Herford THE CHIMPANZEE Oliver Herford THE HIPPOPOTAMUS Oliver Herford THE PLATYPUS Oliver Herford SOME GEESE Oliver Herford THE FLAMINGO Lewis Gaylord Clark KINDNESS TO ANIMALS J. Ashby-Sterry SAGE COUNSEL A. T. Quiller-Couch OF BAITING THE LION Owen Seaman THE FROG Hilaire Belloc THE YAK Hilaire Belloc THE PYTHON Hilaire Belloc THE BISON Hilaire Belloc THE PANTHER Anonymous THE MONKEY'S GLUE Goldwin Goldsmith THERE WAS A FROG Christ Church MS. THE BLOATED BIGGABOON H. Cholmondeley-Pennell WILD FLOWERS Peter Newell TIMID HORTENSE Peter Newell HER POLKA DOTS Peter Newell HER DAIRY Peter Newell TURVEY TOP Anonymous WHAT THE PRINCE OF I DREAMT H. Cholmondeley-Pennell THE DINKEY-BIRD Eugene Field THE MAN IN THE MOON James Whitcomb Riley THE STORY OF THE WILD HUNTSMAN Dr. Heinrich Hoffman THE STORY OF PYRAMID THOTHMES Anonymous THE STORY OF CRUEL PSAMTEK Anonymous THE CUMBERBUNCE Paul West THE AHKOND OF SWAT Edward Lear A THRENODY George Thomas Lanigan DIRGE OF THE MOOLLA OF KOTAL George Thomas Lanigan RUSSIAN AND TURK Anonymous LINES TO MISS FLORENCE HUNTINGDON Anonymous COBBE'S PROPHECIES 1614 AN UNSUSPECTED FACT Edward Cannon THE SORROWS OF WERTHER W. M. Thackeray NONSENSE VERSES Charles Lamb THE NOBLE TUCK-MAN Jean Ingelow THE PESSIMIST Ben King THE MODERN HIAWATHA Anonymous ON THE ROAD Tudor Jenks UNCLE SIMON AND UNCLE JIM Artemus Ward POOR DEAR GRANDPAPA D'Arcy W. Thompson THE SEA-SERPENT Planche MELANCHOLIA Anonymous THE MONKEY'S WEDDING Anonymous MR. FINNEY'S TURNIP Anonymous THE SUN J. Davis THE AUTUMN LEAVES Anonymous IN THE NIGHT Anonymous POOR BROTHER Anonymous THE BOY Eugene Field THE SEA Anonymous THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL H. W. Longfellow FIN DE SIÈCLE Newton Mackintosh MARY JANE Anonymous TENDER-HEARTEDNESS Col. D. Streamer IMPETUOUS SAMUEL Col. D. Streamer MISFORTUNES NEVER COME SINGLY Col. D. Streamer AUNT ELIZA Col. D. Streamer SUSAN Anonymous BABY AND MARY Anonymous THE SUNBEAM Anonymous LITTLE WILLIE Anonymous MARY AMES Anonymous MUDDLED METAPHORS Tom Hood, Jr. VILLON'S STRAIGHT TIP TO ALL CROSS COVES W. E. Henley ODE TO THE HUMAN HEART Laman Blanchard LIMERICKS Edward Lear Anonymous Cosmo Monkhouse Walter Parke George du Maurier Robert J. Burdette Gelett Burgess Bruce Porter Newton Mackintosh Anonymous Anonymous Anonymous

INTRODUCTION

On a topographical map of Literature Nonsense would be represented by a small and sparsely settled country, neglected by the average tourist, but affording keen delight to the few enlightened travellers who sojourn within its borders. It is a field which has been neglected by anthologists and essayists; one of its few serious recognitions being in a certain "Treatise of Figurative Language," which says: "Nonsense; shall we dignify that with a place on our list? Assuredly will vote for doing so every one who hath at all duly noticed what admirable and wise uses it can be, and often is, put to, though never before in rhetoric has it been so highly honored. How deeply does clever or quaint nonsense abide in the memory, and for how many a decade--from earliest youth to age's most venerable years."

And yet Hazlitt's "Studies in Jocular Literature" mentions six divisions of the Jest, and omits Nonsense!

Perhaps, partly because of such neglect, the work of the best nonsense writers is less widely known than it might be.

But a more probable reason is that the majority of the reading world does not appreciate or enjoy real nonsense, and this, again, is consequent upon their inability to discriminate between nonsense of integral merit and simple chaff.

A jest's prosperity lies in the ear Of him that hears it. Never in the tongue Of him that makes it,

and a sense of nonsense is as distinct a part of our mentality as a sense of humor, being by no means identical therewith.

It is a fad at present for a man to relate a nonsensical story, and then, if his hearer does not laugh, say gravely: "You have no sense of humor. That is a test story, and only a true humorist laughs at it." Now, the hearer may have an exquisite sense of humor, but he may be lacking in a sense of nonsense, and so the story gives him no pleasure. De Quincey said, "None but a man of extraordinary talent can write first-rate nonsense." Only a short study of the subject is required to convince us that De Quincey was right; and he might have added, none but a man of extraordinary taste can appreciate first-rate nonsense. As an instance of this, we may remember that Edward Lear, "the parent of modern nonsense-writers," was a talented author and artist, and a prime favorite of such men as Tennyson and the Earls of Derby; and John Ruskin placed Lear's name at the head of his list of the best hundred authors.

"Don't tell me," said William Pitt, "of a man's being able to talk sense; every one can talk sense. Can he talk nonsense?"

The sense of nonsense enables us not only to discern pure nonsense, but to consider intelligently nonsense of various degrees of purity. Absence of sense is not necessarily nonsense, any more than absence of justice is injustice.

Etymologically speaking, nonsense may be either words without meaning, or words conveying absurd or ridiculous ideas. It is the second definition which expresses the great mass of nonsense literature, but there is a small proportion of written nonsense which comes under the head of language without meaning.

Again, there are verses composed entirely of meaningless words, which are not nonsense literature, because they are written with some other intent.

The nursery rhyme, of which there are almost as many versions as there are nurseries,

Eena, meena, mona, mi, Bassalona, bona, stri, Hare, ware, frown, whack, Halico balico, we, wi, we, wack,

is not strictly a nonsense verse, because it was invented and used for "counting out," and the arbitrary words simply take the place of the numbers 1, 2, 3, etc.

Also, the nonsense verses with which students of Latin composition are sometimes taught to begin their efforts, where words are used with no relative meaning, simply to familiarize the pupil with the mechanical values of quantity and metre, are not nonsense. It is only nonsense for nonsense' sake that is now under our consideration.

Doubtless the best and best-known example of versified words without meaning is "Jabberwocky." Although (notwithstanding Lewis Carroll's explanations) the coined words are absolutely without meaning, the rhythm is perfect and the poetic quality decidedly apparent, and the poem appeals to the nonsense lover as a work of pure genius. Bayard Taylor is said to have recited "Jabberwocky" aloud for his own delectation until he was forced to stop by uncontrollable laughter. To us who know our _Alice_ it would seem unnecessary to quote this poem, but it is a fact that among the general reading community the appreciators of Lewis Carroll are surprisingly few. An editor of a leading literary review, when asked recently if he had read "Alice in Wonderland," replied, "No, but I mean to. It is by the author of 'As in a looking-Glass,' is it not?"

But of far greater interest and merit than nonsense of words, is nonsense of ideas. Here, again, we distinguish between nonsense and no sense. Ideas conveying no sense are often intensely funny, and this type is seen in some of the best of our nonsense literature.

A perfect specimen is the bit of evidence read by the White Rabbit at the Trial of the Knave of Hearts.[1] One charm of these verses is the serious air of legal directness which pervades their ambiguity, and another is the precision with which the metrical accent coincides exactly with the natural emphasis. They are marked, too, by the liquid euphony that always distinguishes Lewis Carroll's poetry.

A different type is found in verses that refer to objects in terms the opposite of true, thereby suggesting ludicrous incongruity, and there is also the nonsense verse that uses word effects which have been confiscated by the poets and tacitly given over to them.

A refrain of nonsense words is a favorite diversion of many otherwise serious poets.

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

is one of Shakespeare's many musical nonsense refrains.

[Footnote 1: "She's all my Fancy painted him," page 20.]

Burns gives us:

Ken ye aught o' Captain Grose? Igo and ago, If he's 'mang his freens or foes? Iram, coram, dago. Is he slain by Highlan' bodies? Igo and ago; And eaten like a weather haggis? Iram, coram, dago.

Another very old refrain runs thus:

Forum, corum, sunt di-vorum, Harum, scarum, divo; Tag-rag, merry-derry, periwig and hat-band, Hic, hoc, horum, genitivo.

An old ballad written before the Reformation has for a refrain:

Sing go trix, Trim go trix, Under the greenwood tree.

While a celebrated political ballad is known by its nonsense chorus,

Lilliburlero bullin a-la.

Mother Goose rhymes abound in these nonsense refrains, and they are often fine examples of onomatopoeia.

By far the most meritorious and most interesting kind of nonsense is that which embodies an absurd or ridiculous idea, and treats it with elaborate seriousness. The greatest masters of this art are undoubtedly Edward Lear and Lewis Carroll. These Englishmen were men of genius, deep thinkers, and hard workers.

Lear was an artist draughtsman, his subjects being mainly ornithological and zoological. Lewis Carroll (Charles L. Dodgson) was an expert in mathematics and a lecturer on that science in Christ Church, Oxford.

Both these men numbered among their friends many of the greatest Englishmen of the day. Tennyson was a warm friend and admirer of each, as was also John Ruskin.

Lear's first nonsense verses, published in 1846, are written in the form of the well-known stanza beginning:

There was an old man of Tobago.

This type of stanza, known as the "Limerick," is said by a gentleman who speaks with authority to have flourished in the reign of William IV. This is one of several he remembers as current at his public school in 1834:

There was a young man at St. Kitts Who was very much troubled with fits; The eclipse of the moon Threw him into a swoon, When he tumbled and broke into bits.

Lear distinctly asserts that this form of verse was not invented by him, but was suggested by a friend as a useful model for amusing rhymes. It proved so in his case, for he published no less than two hundred and twelve of these "Limericks."

In regard to his verses, Lear asserted that "nonsense, pure and absolute," was his aim throughout; and remarked, further, that to have been the means of administering innocent mirth to thousands was surely a just excuse for satisfaction. He pursued his aim with scrupulous consistency, and his absurd conceits are fantastic and ridiculous, but never cheaply or vulgarly funny.

Twenty-five years after his first book came out, Lear published other books of nonsense verse and prose, with pictures which are irresistibly mirth-provoking. Lear's nonsense songs, while retaining all the ludicrous merriment of his Limericks, have an added quality of poetic harmony. They are distinctly _singable_, and many of them have been set to music by talented composers. Perhaps the best-known songs are "The Owl and the Pussy-Cat" and "The Daddy-Long-Legs and the Fly."

Lear himself composed airs for "The Pelican Chorus" and "The Yonghy-Bonghy Bo," which were arranged for the piano by Professor Pomè, of San Remo, Italy.

Although like Lear's in some respects, Lewis Carroll's nonsense is perhaps of a more refined type. There is less of the grotesque and more poetic imagery. But though Carroll was more of a poet than Lear, both had the true sense of nonsense. Both assumed the most absurd conditions, and proceeded to detail their consequences with a simple seriousness that convulses appreciative readers, and we find ourselves uncertain whether it is the manner or the matter that is more amusing.

Lewis Carroll was a man of intellect and education; his funniest sayings are often based on profound knowledge or deep thought. Like Lear, he never spoiled his quaint fancies by over-exaggerating their quaintness or their fancifulness, and his ridiculous plots are as carefully conceived, constructed, and elaborated as though they embodied the soundest facts. No funny detail is ever allowed to become _too_ funny; and it is in this judicious economy of extravagance that his genius is shown. As he remarks in one of his own poems:

Then, fourthly, there are epithets That suit with any word-- As well as Harvey's Reading Sauce With fish, or flesh, or bird. Such epithets, like pepper, Give zest to what you write; And, if you strew them sparely, They whet the appetite; But if you lay them on too thick, You spoil the matter quite!

Both Lear and Carroll suffered from the undiscerning critics who persisted in seeing in their nonsense a hidden meaning, a cynical, political, or other intent, veiled under the apparent foolery. Lear takes occasion to deny this in the preface to one of his books, and asserts not only that his rhymes and pictures have no symbolical meaning, but that he "took more care than might be supposed to make the subjects incapable of such misinterpretation."

Likewise, "Jabberwocky" was declared by one critic to be a translation from the German, and by others its originality was doubted. The truth is, that it was written by Lewis Carroll at an evening party; it was quite impromptu, and no ulterior meaning was intended. "The Hunting of the Snark" was also regarded by some as an allegory, or, perhaps, a burlesque on a celebrated case, in which the _Snark_ was used as a personification of popularity, but Lewis Carroll protested that the poem had no meaning at all.

A favorite trick of the Nonsensists is the coining of words to suit their needs, and Lear and Carroll are especially happy in their inventions of this kind.