Chapter 9

March 16. Saturday. By the good hand of the Lord we are brought to the close of one more week. I have been able to meet all the current expenses for the Orphans, and to pay, besides this, 10l. for salaries. Thus a part of what has been due for several weeks to my dear fellow-labourers is defrayed. I have especially prayed within the last ten days that the Lord would be pleased to give me the means for this. 2s. 8 1/2d. I have left.

March 18. Monday. Last evening 5l. came in with Eccles. ix. 10. Thus we were again enabled to supply all the necessities of this day.

Pause a few moments, dear reader! Consider how seasonably the Lord sends the supplies! Not once does He forget us! Not once is our need only half supplied! Not once do His supplies come too late! Dear reader, if you have not the like experience of the Lord’s watchful care, Oh taste and see that the Lord is good!

March 20. The need of the 18th and 19th was supplied by the 5l. which had come in on the 18th. Today we were again poor and needy, therefore the Lord thought on us, and sent us 3l. l6s. 1 1/2d.

March 22. Some trinkets which had been given, and 12s. which was in hand, supplied the need of today. Yesterday were sent six sacks of potatoes. We were not able to lay in a stock last autumn (as we had done the two previous autumns) on account of want of means, but in no previous year have we had so many sent.

March 23. Today I received a letter from brother T., who is on account of his health in Devonshire, to inform me that a heavy gold chain, a ring set with ten brilliants, a pair of gold bracelets, and 2l. have been given to him. He gave a Report to a brother, who, having read it, was thereby stirred up to prayer, and knowing that his believing sister possessed these trinkets, he asked the Lord to incline her heart to give them up for the benefit of our Orphans, which she soon after did. By means of these donations I am able both to meet the remaining expenses of this week, and also to pay 15l., which still remains due on account of the salaries. My fellow-labourers not only never ask me for any thing, but are willing to part with money, or any thing else in the hour of need; nevertheless, I had asked the Lord about this point frequently, and He has now given me my request, whereof I am glad. I received also this afternoon 5l. 10s., besides a number of things to be disposed of for the Orphans.

March 24. The Lord has again kindly opened His liberal hand today, and given us 6l. 10s. Thus we have wherewith to meet the necessities of tomorrow in the Orphan-Houses.

From March 24 to April 7, came in about sixty small donations. This, with the produce of the sale of the trinkets, supplied all our need for the Orphans.

April 7. Our funds were now again spent, except 15s., though three days ago above 30l. had come in; therefore the Lord has sent in again this day several contributions, altogether 6l. 5s.

April 8. The money which came in yesterday was sent off today for housekeeping in the three different houses, and when I was now again left penniless, there came in 2l. 6s. 10d.

April 9. The 2l. 6s. 10d. was given out today for housekeeping, and I am once more penniless.--A few hours after I had written this, there was given to me by a brother 2l. 10s. When I received this money, I was at the same time informed of the death of one of our sisters, a widow, whose child we can receive.

April 10. Today was sent anonymously from the country 5l. In the evening I received still further 1l. l6s. 6d.

April 11. It is three years today since the first Orphans were received. Good indeed has the Lord been to us during these three years! We have lacked nothing! Again He has sent this day, in a remarkable manner, 5l., with the following letter, addressed to a brother:

"My dear Friend, enclosed are 5l. for the Orphan-Asylum, the history of which is rather interesting. We have a servant who lived some years ago as kitchen-maid in a noble family (i. e. the master a wealthy member of Parliament, the mistress an Earl’s daughter.) No perquisites were allowed; but the individual in question acted on the same principle as her fellow-servants, and sold kitchen-stuff for her own benefit, which she thinks might amount to 4l.; and therefore she believes that 5l. would fully repay principal and interest. This money is of course due to her former master and mistress, with whom I have had several interviews on the subject. They were disposed that the money should be given to some charity; and in consequence of reading one of the Reports you kindly sent me, the young woman had a great desire that her own repentance might yield fruit to that work of faith and love. Her wishes have been sanctioned by her former mistress. It is rather remarkable that our truly Christian servant had been converted a year and a half, before this individual sin, calling for pecuniary restitution, had come into her remembrance."

April 13. I conversed with another of the Orphans, who seems to have been truly converted, and who has walked consistently for many months. Tomorrow she will be united with the saints in communion. She will be the third in fellowship with us, and several have died in the faith. How has the Lord owned the work, even in this respect!

April 14. Today 5l. 0s. 8d. came in for the Orphans, 1l. of which is one of the most remarkable gifts that we have ever had. A poor brother, with a large family, and small wages (there are eight in the family, and he had 15s. wages till lately, when they were raised to 18s.) put by this money by little and little of what was given him by his master for beer. This brother, who was converted about five years ago, was before that time a notorious drunkard.

April 30. Today our dear young brother, John Short, only a little more than 14 years old, fell asleep, after having been for several years ill. He had been for several years converted. He was one of our Sunday-School children before his illness. When, many months since, he lost one of his limbs by amputation, he glorified the Lord not merely by the way in which he sustained the severe suffering attending the operation, but also by confessing the Lord, as his strength, in the hour of trial. He was a sweet youth!

July 2. Today was given me, when there was not one shilling in hand, 50l. for the School—Bible—and Missionary-Fund.

July 15. Monday. Today 2l. 7s. 3d. was needed for the Orphans, but we had nothing. How to obtain the means for a dinner, and for what else was needed, I knew not. My heart was perfectly at peace, and unusually sure of help, though I knew not in the least whence it was to come. Before brother T. came, I received a letter from India, written in May, with an order for 50l. for the Orphans. I had said last Saturday to brother T., that it would be desirable to have 50l., as the salaries of all my fellow-labourers are due, the three treacle-casks empty, all the provision stores exhausted, several articles of clothing needed, and worsted for the boys to go on with their knitting. Now the Lord has sent exactly 50l. Moreover this money comes very seasonably, as in three days I shall have to leave Bristol for some days, and can now go comfortably, as it regards leaving means behind.

[In the afternoon of this same day I met at a brother’s house with several believers, when a sister said that she had often thought about the care and burden I must have on my mind, as it regards obtaining the necessary supplies for so many persons. As this may not be a solitary instance, I would state, that, by the grace of God, this is no cause of anxiety to me. The children I have years ago cast upon the Lord. The whole work is His, and it becomes me to be without carefulness. In whatever points I am lacking, in this point I am able, by the grace of God, to roll the burden upon my heavenly Father. Though now (July 1845) for about seven years our funds have been so exhausted, that it has been comparatively a rare case that there have been means in hand to meet the necessities of the Orphans for three days together; yet have I been only once tried in spirit, and that was on Sept. 18, 1838, when for the first time the Lord seemed not to regard our prayer. But when He did send help at that time, and I saw that it was only for the trial of our faith, and not because He had forsaken the work that we were brought so low, my soul was so strengthened and encouraged, that I have not only not been allowed to distrust the Lord since that time, but I have not even been cast down when in the deepest poverty. Nevertheless, in this respect also am I now, as much as ever, dependant on the Lord; and I earnestly beseech for myself and my fellow-labourers the prayers of all those, to whom the glory of God is dear. How great would be the dishonour to the name of God, if we, who have so publicly made our boast in Him, should so fall as to act in these very points as the world does! Help us then, brethren, with your prayers, that we may trust in God to the end. We can expect nothing but that our faith will yet be tried, and it may be more than ever; and we shall fall, if the Lord does not uphold us.]

July 16 and 17. These two days we have had two especial prayer meetings, to commend to the Lord five German brethren who for some weeks have been sojourning among us, and who purpose to leave tomorrow for Liverpool, to sail from thence to the East Indies.

July 18. I left this morning with the German brethren, to accompany them to Liverpool.

July 21. Liverpool. This afternoon I preached in the open air on the docks. Truly, it must be a sweet privilege to be permitted frequently to proclaim the glad tidings of the Gospel in the open air, which the Lord does not bestow upon me, as, under ordinary circumstances, I have no strength for this work.--The people were attentive. There was but one who mocked.

July 22. Preached again out of doors.

July 23. I accompanied the five brethren on board this afternoon.

July 27. Today I had another remarkable proof of the importance of the children of God opening their hearts to each other, especially when they are getting into a cold state, or are under the power of a certain sin, or are in especial difficulty. An individual called on me, who I trust is a brother, with whom I had conversed once before, but felt uncomfortable respecting him. When he called again today, it appeared to me that there was something upon his heart, which, if I could but know, I might be instrumental in benefiting him. I pressed him affectionately to open his heart, assuring him at the same time that the matter which he might speak of should remain in my own bosom. At last I succeeded. [The result of this conversation was, that the advice which I gave him, led him, after three days, to leave for America, where he ought to have been, instead of being in England; and if he has followed my advice, in one other point, the matter which for years had burdened his conscience, and which, no doubt had been the means of keeping him in a low spiritual state, will have no more power over him. Should this fall into the hands of any children of God who have a particular trial or burden, or a guilty conscience, on account of a particular thing, or a besetting sin, etc., on account of which it would be beneficial to open their hearts to another child of God, in whose love, spiritual judgment, etc., they have confidence, I would advise them to do so. I know from my own experience, how often the snare of the devil has been broken, when under the power of sin; how often the heart has been comforted, when nigh to be overwhelmed; how often advice, under great perplexity, has been obtained,--by opening my heart to a brother in whom I had confidence. We are children of the same family, and ought therefore to be helpers one of another.]

Aug. 3. £3. 5s. was required to meet the necessities of the Orphan-Houses this day. The Lord enabled us to meet this demand, partly, by the sale of some Indian muslin, which had been given some months since, but which was only now disposed of; partly, by a few small donations; and partly, by what one of the labourers added of his own. [We have often found that the money for articles, which were put out to be sold, has come in most seasonably. At this time it happened so that a brother, into whose hands the muslin had been put, felt himself stirred up to go and ask the individual who had it for sale whether she had disposed of it. This brother knew nothing about our need at that time.]

Aug. 5. Monday. On Saturday and yesterday morning I had repeatedly asked the Lord to send us help, as there was not a penny in hand for the need of today. Yesterday morning a brother gave me two sovereigns, and in the evening I received two more. Besides this, there was 4l. 10s. anonymously given for three weeks’ rent for the Orphan-Houses, also 10s. by a brother, and 9s. came in for needlework of the children; so that altogether 9l. 9s. came in yesterday.

This evening I took tea with a sister who purposes to leave Bristol tomorrow for Van Diemen’s Land. [For the comfort of any saints, who may be similarly situated, I mention the following circumstance. The son of this sister was transported many years since. In the course of time he obtained a business of his own in Van Diemen’s Land, and wished his mother to come to him. The mother went, and had, in answer to the prayers of the saints, a prosperous voyage. When she arrived, she found her son truly converted. What a joy for the long and deeply afflicted mother! What remarkable means the Lord uses to bestow blessings! Moreover, to mark that the Lord had sent her to her son, she found that a month before her arrival his wife had died, and that she therefore reached him just at the right time, both on account of his children and his business.]

Aug. 7. Today again about 3l. was needed for housekeeping at the Orphan-Houses, which the Lord had sent in since the day before yesterday, so that we were able to meet all the demands.

Aug. 8. Today 1l. 3s. was needed, but only 3s. had come in. The deficiency was supplied by one of the labourers giving a sovereign of his own. Though there is no money in hand, yet are we so little discouraged, that we have received today one orphan boy, and have given notice for the admission of six other children, which will bring the number up to 98 altogether.

Aug. 9. Only 10s. had come in since yesterday, and as 30s. were needed, one of the labourers gave a sovereign.

Aug. 10. Saturday. The need of today is 2l. 10s. but only 10s, has been given since yesterday. One of the labourers, having 2l., gave it, and thus our need was supplied.

Aug. 12. Monday. The Lord has again kindly sent 11l. Of this sum 10l. came in from Q. Q., when again there was not one penny in hand. We have now supplies for about four days.

Aug. 14. Today was very seasonably sent a whole piece of calico and a piece of print.

Aug. 16. All our money is now again gone. Today 1l. 3s. was needed, but only 3s. was in hand. One of the labourers was able to add a sovereign, and thus we were helped.

Aug. 17. Saturday. 5l. was needed today, but only 7s. 6d. had come in. The remaining 2l. l2s. 6d. one of the labourers gave. Thus we were helped to the close of another week.

Aug. 19. Monday. This has been again a day in which our faith has been particularly tried; but even this day we have not been confounded. Not one penny was in hand when the day began. We had therefore now, for more than one hundred persons, again to look to the Lord. But this I must say, to the praise of the Lord, my soul was perfectly at peace. I meant to have gone very early to the Orphan-Houses to meet with my fellow-labourers for prayer; but, as one person after the other called upon me, I was kept from it the whole morning. When brother T. called upon me between 12 and 1 o’clock for money, I had none to give. In the afternoon at four I was able to meet with the brethren and sisters. When I came to the Girls’-Orphan-House, I found that one of those children, for the reception of whom we had given notice, had been brought from Bath, and with him was sent 1l. 5s. After the meeting was over, one of the labourers gave 10s. By means of this 1l. 15s. we were able for this day also to provide every thing needful.

Aug. 20. When we met together this morning for prayer, only one shilling had come in since yesterday, and 2l. at least was needed to meet the expenses of this day. After prayer, one of the labourers gave 10s., and 1s. 1 1/2d. was taken out of one of the boxes. This 12s. 1 1/2d. was divided to meet the momentary need. About an hour afterwards, 1l. 14s. came in, being the payment, in part, of articles which had been sold several months since.

Aug. 21. Nothing had come in since yesterday. 13s. would have been needed to have taken in the usual quantity of bread. After we had prayed, the same labourer who had contributed yesterday and the day before, gave today 5s. more. This helped us to buy milk; but in one of the houses the usual quantity of bread could not be taken in. I have further to notice respecting this time of trial, that I had purposed to have gone yesterday to Bath, to meet today and tomorrow with several brethren, who are met there from various parts of the country, to unite in prayer for the present spiritual necessities of the church at large. However, on account of our present need in the Orphan-Houses, I could not go yesterday, as I did not think it right to let my fellow-labourers bear the trial alone. Today also I have been kept here, as our poverty is greater than ever. Yet (the Lord be praised!) neither have the children in the least lacked this day, nor has my mind been in any degree disturbed. My fellow-labourers also seem quite in peace. We are waiting for deliverance, and we are sure that the Lord, in His own time, will send it.

Aug. 22. In my morning walk, when I was reminding the Lord of our need, I felt assured that He would send help this day. My assurance sprang from our need; for there seemed no way to get through the day, without help being sent. After breakfast I considered whether there was any thing which might be turned into money for the dear children. Among other things, there came under my hands a number of religious pamphlets which had been given for the benefit of the Orphans; but all seemed not nearly enough, to meet the necessities of the day, In this our deep poverty, after I had gathered together the few things for sale, a sister, who earns her bread by the labour of her hands, brought 82l. This sister had seen it to be binding upon believers in our Lord Jesus to act out His commandments: "Sell that ye have (sell your possessions) and give alms," Luke xii. 33; and "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth," Matt. vi. 19. Accordingly she had drawn her money out of the bank and stocks, being 250l., and had brought it to me at three different times for the benefit of the Orphans, the Bible—Missionary—and School-Fund, and the poor saints, About two months ago she brought me 100l. more, being the produce of some other possession which she had sold, the half of which was to be used for the School—Bible-and Missionary Fund; and the other half for the poor saints. This 82l. which she had brought today, is the produce of the sale of her last earthly possession.--[At the time I am preparing the seventh edition for the press, more than twenty-nine years have passed away, and this sister has never expressed the least regret as to the step she took, but goes on, quietly labouring with her hands, to earn her bread.]--But even now, when this money was given, I left it in the hands of the Lord, whether any part of it should be applied for the Orphans. I asked the sister, therefore, whether she wished the money to be spent in any particular way, as she had expressed her wish about the former sums. This time she left it with me, to lay out the money as I thought best. I took, therefore, half of it for the Orphans, and half for the other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. I have thus been enabled to come to Bath, (after I had sent a more than usual supply to the matrons), to meet, at least for the remaining time, with the brethren who are assembled here for prayer. Before the day is over, I have received 10l. more, while at Bath, from one of the brethren who are assembled here; so that our deep poverty, in the morning, has been turned into a comparative abundance.

Aug. 23. The Lord has sent still further supplies. Another of the brethren gave me this morning 1l., and a third, with whom I drove back to Bristol, 5l.

From Aug. 25 to Sept. 1, there came in above 17l. more.

Sept. 4. I have been led to pray whether it is the Lord’s will that I should leave Bristol for a season, as I have for the last fortnight been suffering from indigestion, by which my whole system is weakened, and thus the nerves of my head are more than usually affected. There are, however, two hindrances in the way, want of means for the Orphans, and want of means for my own personal expenses.--Today I have received a cheque from Q. Q. for 7l. 10s. for the Orphans, which came, therefore, very seasonably. Also 4l. besides has came in since the day before yesterday.

Sept. 5. Today a sister sent me 5l. for myself, to be used for the benefit of my health. She had heard that my health is again failing. I do not lay by money for such purposes; but whenever I really need means, whether for myself or others, the Lord sends them, in answer to prayer; for He had in this case again given me prayer respecting means for myself and for the Orphans, that my way might be made plain as to leaving Bristol for a season.

Sept. 6. My body is now so weak, and my head again so affected in consequence of it, and I have found it needful to give up the work at once. I left today for Trowbridge, for three days, intending afterwards to go with my wife into Devonshire, if the Lord permit.

Sept. 7. Trowbridge. This has been a very good day. I have had much communion with the Lord. How kind to take me from the work at Bristol for a season, to give me more communion with Himself. I remembered the Lord’s especial goodness to me in this place, at the commencement of last year. How kind has He also been since! I prayed much for myself, for the Church at large, for the saints here and in Bristol, for my unconverted relatives, for my dear wife, and that the Lord would supply my own temporal necessities and those of the Orphans:--and I know that He has heard me.--I am surrounded with kind friends in the dear saints, under whose roof I am, and feel quite at home. My room is far better than I need; yet an easy chair, in this my weak state of body, to kneel before in prayer, would have added to my comfort. In the afternoon, without having given a hint about it, I found an easy chair put into my room. I was struck with the kindness, the especial kindness of my heavenly Father, in being mindful of the smallest wants and comforts of His child.--Having had more prayer than usual, I found that my intercourse with the saints at tea was with unction, and more than usually profitable. But this very fact reminds me of my sad deficiencies, and of my great lack of real fervency of spirit. May the Lord carry on His work with power in my soul! Today I had 1l. given to me, half for the Orphans, and half for the other funds. Thus the Lord has begun to answer my prayers; for I expect far more.

Sept. 8. Lord’s day. I assembled with a few saints at Trowbridge, and spoke to them in the morning and evening with much assistance. The afternoon I spent at home over the Word and in prayer. God has evidently blessed the Word. He had a purpose in sending me here, both for blessing to myself and to others.