Part 3

Eula: In faith I thyncke nay, but case there be, marke this wel the good man must be for borne, howe soeuer the game goeth, then is it better to haue him alwayes at one point or ells more kinde and louing throw oure gentill handlinge, then to haue him worse and worse throwe our cursednesse, what wyll you say and I tell you of husbādes that hath won theyr wiues by suche curtesie, howe muche more are we boūde to use the same towarde our husbandes.

Xantip. Than shall you tell of one farre vnlyke vnto thyne husband.

Eula. I am aquented with a certayne gentelman well lerned and a veri honest man, he maried a yonge wyfe, a mayden of. xvii. yeare olde brede and brought vp of a chylde in the countre vnder her fathers and mother wing

(as gentilmen delite to dwel in the countre) to hunt & hawke This yong gētilman would haue one that were unbrokē, because he might the soner breake her after hys owne mind, he begā to entre her in learning syngynge, and playinge, and by lytle and lytle to vse here to repete suche thynges as she harde at sermons, and to instruct her with other things that myght haue doone her more good in time to come. This gere, because it was straūge vnto this young womā which at home was brought vp in all ydelnesse, and with the light communication of her fathers seruantes, and other pastimes, begā to waxe greuouse & paynfull, vnto her. She withdrew her good mynde and dylygence and whē her husband called vpon her she put ye finger in the eye, and wepte and many times she would fal downe on the grounde, beatynge her head agaynst the floure, as one that woulde be out of thys worlde.

When there was no healpe for this gere, the good man as though he hadde bene wel asked his wyfe yf she woulde ryde into the countre with him a sporting vnto her fathers house, so that she graunted anone. When they were cōmē thyther, the gentilman left his wyfe with her mother & her sisters he wēt furth an huntynge with his father in lawe, there betwene theym two, he shewed al together, how that he hadde hoped to haue had a louynge companion to lead his lyfe withall, now he hath one that is alwaies blubberynge and pyninge her selfe awaye withoute anye remedie, he prayeth him to lay to hys hande in amendinge his doughters fautes her father answered yt he had ones giuen hym his doughter, and yf that she woulde not be rewled by wordes (a goddes name take Stafforde lawe) she was his owne. Then the gētylman sayd agayne, I know that I may do but I had leuer haue her amēded eyther by youre good counsell or commaundement,

then to come vnto that extreme waies, her father promised that he would fynde a remedye. After a dai or two, he espied time and place whē he might be alone with his doughter. Then he loked soureli vpō his doughter, as though he had bene horne woode with her, he began to reherse how foule a beaste she was, how he feared many tymes that she neuer haue bestowed her. And yet sayde he much a doe, vnto my great coste and charg, I haue gottē the one that moughte lye by any Ladyes syde, and she were a quene and yet thou not perceiuying what I haue done for the nor knowynge that thou hast suche a man whiche but of his goodnes myghte thynke thee to euill to be stoye in his kytchen, thou contrariest al his mind to make a short tale he spake so sharpely to her, that she feared that he wold haue beaten her. It is a man of asubtyll and wylye wytte, whyche wythout a vysarde is ready to playe anye maner of parte.

Thē this yonge wife what for feare, and for trouthe of the matter, cleane stryken oute of countenaunce, fell downe at her fathers fete desyryng hym that he wolde forgette and forgiue her all that was past and euer after she woulde doe her duetye Her father forgaue her, and promised that she shoulde finde him a kynd and a louynge father, yf so be that she perfourmed her promyse.

xantippa. How dyd she afterwarde?

Eulalya, whē she was departed frō her father she came backe into a chaumber, and there by chaunce found her husband alone she fel on her knees to hym and said. Mā in tymes paste, I neyther knewe you nor my selfe, from this daye froward ye shall se me cleane chaunged, onelye pardon that is past, with that her husbande toke her in his armes & kyssed her sayinge she should lacke nothyng yf she woulde holde her in that mind.

xantip. Why did she cōtinue so.

Eulalya. Euen tyll her endynge daye, nor there was none so vyle a thynge but that she woulde laye handes on it redely with all her herte, if her husband wolde let her, so great loue was begō and assured betwene them and many a daye after, shee thanked god yt euer she met with such a mā. For yf she had not she sayd she had ben cleane caste awaye.

xan. We haue as greate plentie of suche housbandes, as of white crowes.

Eulalya. Now, but for werieng you? I coulde tell you a thynge that chaunced a late in this same citye.

xantyppa. I haue litell to doe, and I lyke your communicacyon very well.

Eulalia. There was a certaine gentilmā he as suche sort of men do, vsed much huntyng in the cuntre, where he happened on a younge damoysell, a very pore womās child on whō he doted a man well stryken in age, and for her sake he lay oftē out of his owne house his excuse was hūtîg. This mās wife an exceding honest womā, halfe deale suspecte the mater, tried out her husbandes falshed,

on a tyme whē he had taken his iourney fourth of the town vnto some other waies, she wente vnto that poore cotage and boulted out all the hoole matter, where he laye on nights, wheron he drāke, what thyng thei had to welcō him withall. There was neither one thyng nor other, but bare walles. This good womā returned home, and sone after came againe brynginge wt her a good soft bed, and al therto belongyng and certain plate besydes that she gaue them moneye, chargynge them that if the Gentilmā came agayne, they shold entreate him better not beyng knowē al this while that she was his wyfe, but fayued her to be her sister. Not long after her husband stale thether againe, he sawe the howse otherwyse decked, and better fare then he was wounte to haue. He asked, frome whence commeth al this goodly gere? They sayde that an honeste matrone, a kynsewoman of hys hadde broughte it thyther and commaunded

thenm that he should be well cherished when so euer he came, by and by his hart gaue him that it was hys wiues dede, whan he came home he demaūded of her yf she hadde bene there or nay, she sayd yea. Then he asked her for what purpose she sente all that housholde stuffe thyther. Man (said she) ye haue bē tenderly brought vp. I perceiued that ye were but corslie handled there, me thought that it was my part, seing it was your wyll and pleasure to be there ye shoulde be better loked to.

Xantippa. She was one of goddes fooles. I woulde rather for a bed haue layd vnder him a bundel of nettels: or a burden of thistels.

Eula. But here the end her husbande perceyuyng the honeste of her great pacience neuer after laye from her, but made good cheare at home with his owne. I am sure ye knowe Gilberte the holāder.

Xan. Very well.

Eu. He (as it is not vnknowē maried an old wife in his florishîg youth.

Xā. Per aduēture he maried the good and notthe woman.

Eulalia. There sayde ye well, setting lytell stoore by hys olde wife, hunted a callette, with whom he kept much companie abrode, he dined or supped litell at home. What wouldest thou haue sayd to ye gere.

Xantip. What woulde I a said? I wolde haue flowē to the hores toppe and I wolde haue crowned myne husbande at hys oute goinge to her with a pysbowle,that he so ēbawlmed might haue gon vnto his souerayne ladie.

Eula. But how much wiselier dyd this woman? She desyred that yonge woman home vnto her, and made her good chere, so by that meanes she brought home also her husband without ani witchraft or sorserie, and yf that at anye season he supped abrode with her she would sende vnto them some good dayntie morsel, and byd him make good chere

Xantippa. I had leuer be slayne then I woulde be bawde vnto myne owne husbande.

Eulalia. Yea, but consyder all thynges well, was not that muche better, then she shoulde be her shrewyshnesse, haue putte her husbandes minde cleane of from her, and so haue ledde all her life in trouble and heuynesse.

Xantippa. I graunte you well, that it was better so but I coulde not abyde it.

Eulalya. I wyll tell you a prety story more, and so make an ende One of oure neyghboures, a well disposed and a goddes man, but that he is some what testie, on a day pomeld his wife well and thriftely aboute the pate and so good a woman as euer was borne, she picked her into an inner parler, and there weepynge and sobbynge, eased her heuye harte, anone after, by chaunce her husbande came into the same place, and founde hys wyfe wepyng. What sitest thou heare sayth he seighing & sobbîg like a child Thē she like a wise woman sayde. Is it not more honesty for me to lamente my dolours here in a secret place, thē to make wondering and on oute crye in the strete,

as other womē do. At so wyfely and womanly a saing his hart melted, promysynge her faythfullye and truelie that he woulde neuer laye stroke on her afterwarde, nor neuer did.

Xantippa. No more wil mine god thanke my selfe.

Eulalya. But then ye are alwaies one at a nother, agreinge lyke dogges and cattes.

Xan. What wouldest thou that I should do?

Eu. Fyrst & formest, whatsoeuer thy husbande doeth sayde thou nothinge, for his harte must be wonne by lytell and litel by fayre meanes, gentilnesse and forbearing at the last thou shalte eyther wynne him or at the least waie thou shalt leade a better life thē thou doest now.

Xantippa. He his beyonde goddes forbode, he wil neuer amende.

Eulalia. Eye saye not so, there is no beest so wild but by fayre handling be tamed, neuer mistrust man thē. Assay a moneth or two, blame me and thou findest not that my counsell dooeth ease. There be some fautes wyth you thoughe

thou se them, be wyse of this especyall that thou neuer gyue hym foule wordes in the chambre, or inbed but be sure that all thynges there bee full of pastyme and pleasure. For yf that place which is ordeined to make amēdes for all fautes and so to renew loue, be polluted, eyther with strife or grugynges, then fayre wel al hope of loue daies, or atonementes, yet there be some beastes so wayward and mischeuous, that when theyr husbandes hath them in their arms a bed, they scholde & chyde making yt same plesure their lewd condicions (that expelseth all displeasures oute of their husbandes mynde unpleasaunt and lytell set bi corrupting the medecine that shuld haue cured al deadly greifes, & odible offēces.

xantip. That is no newes to me.

Eula. Though the woman shulde be well ware and wyse that she shulde neuer be disobedient vnto her husbād yet she ought to be most circūspect

that at meting she shew her selfe redy and pleasaunt unto him.

xantyppa. Yea vnto a man, holde well withall but I am combred with a beast.

Eula. No more of those wordes, most commonly our husbādes ar euyll through our owne faute, but to returne againe vnto our taile they that ar sene in the olde fables of Poetes sai that Venus whome they make chiefe lady of wedlocke (hath a girdle made by the handy worke of Vulcan her Lorde, and in that is thrust al that enforceth love and with that she girdeth her whan so ever she lyeth wyth her housbande

xantippa. A tale of a tubbe.

Eulalya. A tayle it is, but herkē what the taile meaneth.

xantippa. Tell me.

Eulalia That techeth us that the wyfe ought to dyspose her selfe all the she maye that lieng by her husbād she shew him al the plesure that she cā; Wherby the honest love of matrimony may reuiue and be renewed, & that there with be clene dispatched al grudges & malice

xant. But how shall we come by the thys gyrdle?

Eula. We nede neyther wytchraft nor enchauntment, ther is non of them al, so sure as honest condiciōs accompayned with good feloshyp.

xan. I can not fauoure suche an husbande as myne is.

Eula, It is moste thy profyt that he be no longer suche. If thou couldest by thy Circes craft chaunge thin husband into an hogge, or a bore wouldest thou do it?

xantip. God knoweth.

Eu. Art thou in dout? haddest thou leauer marye an hogge than a mā.

Xantip. Mary I had leauer haue a manne.

Eulalia. wel, what and thou coudest by sorcery make him of a drōkarde a soober man, of a vnthrifte a good housbande of an ydell losell a towarde body, woldest thou not doe it?

xantip. yes, hardely, woulde I doe it. But where shoulde I learne the cunnyng?

Eula. For soth that cōning hast thou in the if thou wouldest vtter it, thyn must he be, mauger thy head, the towarde ye makest him, the better it is for the,

thou lokest on nothing but on his leude cōdicions, and thei make the half mad, thou wouldest amende hym and thou puttest hym farther oute of frame, loke rather on his good condicions, and so shalt thou make him better. It is to late calagayne yesterdaie before thou were maryed unto hym. It was tyme to cōsyder what his fautes were for a women shold not only take her husbande by the eyes but by the eares. Now it is more tyme to redresse fautes thē to fynd fautes.

xantt. What woman euer toke her gusband by the eares.

Eulali. She taketh her husbande by the eyes that loketh on nothyng, but on the beautye and pulcritude of the body. She taketh him by the eares, that harkeneth diligētly what the common voice sayth by him

xantip. Thy counsaile is good, but it commeth a day after the faire.

Eula. Yet it commeth time ynough to bringe thyne husbande to a greate furtheraunce to that shall bee yf God sende you anie frute togither.

xantippa. We are spede alredy of that.

Eulaly. How long ago.

Xantip. A good whyle ago

Eulalia. How many monethes old is it.

Xantip. It lacketh lytle of. vii.

Eula What a tale is this, ye reken the monethes by nightes and dayes double.

Xantippa. Not so.

Eula. It can not be none other wyse, yf ye reken from the mariage day.

xantippa. yea, but what thē, I spake with him before we were maried.

Eulalia. Be children gotten by speakinge.

xantip. It befell so that he mette me alone and begon to ticke at me, and tickled me vnder the arme holes and sydes to make me laugh. I might not awaie with ticklynge, but fell downe backewarde vpon a bedde and he a lofte, neuer leuinge kyssynge on me, what he did els I can not saye, but by sayncte Marie within a while after my bely beganne to swell.

Eula. Go now and disprayse thine husbāde whiche yf he gette children by playe, what wyll he do whē he goeth to it in good ernest.

xantippa, I fere me I am payed agayin.

Eula. Good locke God hath sent a fruitfull grounde, a good tylmā.

Xantip. In that thing he might haue lesse laboure and more thanke.

Eula. Few wyues finde at theyr husbandes in that behalf but were ye thē sure togither.

xanti. yea that we were

Eula. The offence is the lesse. Is it a man chylde.

xantip. yea.

Eula. He shal make you at one so that ye wil bow & forbere. What saieth other mē by thin husband, they that be his cōpanions, they delite with him abrode

xā, They say that he is meruelous gentyl, redy to do euery man pleasure, liberal and sure to his frende.

Eula. And that putteth me in good cōfort that he wyll be ruled after our counsayll.

xantip. But I fynde him not so.

Eula. Order thy selfe to him as I haue tolde thee, and cal me no more true sayer but a lier, if he be not so good vnto the as to anie creature liuinge Again cōsidre this he is yet but a childe, I thinke he passethe not.

xxiiij. the blacke oxe neuer trode on hys fote, nowe it is but loste laboure to recken vpon anye deuorse.

xantippa. Yet manye a tyme and ofte I haue troubled my braynes withal

Eulalia. As for that fantasye whensoeuer it commeth into your mynd first of all counte how naked a thynge woman is, deuorsed from man. It is the hyghest dignitie that longethe to the wyfe to obsequyous vnto her spouse. So hath natyre ordeined so god hath appoynted, that the woman shoulde be ruled al by the man loke onely vppon this whiche is trouth, thine husbande he is, other canste thou none haue. Againe forgette not that swete babe be gotten of both your bodies what thin beste thou to do with that, wilte thou take it awaye with thee? Thou shalte bereue thyne husband his ryght wylt thou leue it with hym? thou shalt spoile thy self of thy chefeste Jewell thou haste. Beside all this tell me trueth hast thou none euyll wyllers, Besyde all thys tell me trueth, hast thou none euyll wyllers.

xan. I haue a stepdame I warrant you, and myne husbandes mother euen such another.

Eula. Do they hate the so deadly.

xantip. They woulde se me hanged.

Eula. Thē forget not thē what greater plesure couldest thou shew them then to se the deuorsed from thine husband and to led a wydowes lyfe. Yea and worse thē a wydow, for wydowes be at their choise.

xantippa. I holde well with youre coūsell, but I can not awaye with the paynes.

Eulalia. yet recken what paines ye toke or ye colde teache your paret to speake.

xantippa. Exceadynge much.

Eu. And thinke you much to labour a lytel in reforming your husbād with whō you may liue merely all the dayes of your lyfe. What busines doe mē put thē self to be wel & easly horsed & shal we think our selues to good to take paines that we mai haue our husbādes gētil & curteise vnto vs.

xantip. What shal I do.

Eu. I haue told you al redy, se that al thing be clene & trim at home, that no sluttysh or vnclenlye syghtes dryue hym oute a dores. Be your selfe alwayes redy at a becke, berynge continuali in minde what reuerēce the wife oweth vnto her husbād. Be neyther in your dūpes, nor alwayes on your mery pinnes go nether to homely nor to nycely. Let your meat be cleane dressed, you know yourhusbādes diet. What he loueth best that dresse. Moreouer shewe your selfe louinge and fayre spokē vnto thē where he loueth, call them now and thē vnto your table. At meate, se that al thinges be well sauored, and make good there, And whē that he is toppe heuy playing on his lute, sytte thou by and singe to him so shalte thou make hym keepe home, and lessen hys expences This shall he thynke at length, in faythe I am a fonde felowe that maketh suche chere with a strumpet abroode with greate lossee bothe of substance and name, seyng that I haue a wyfe

at home bothe muche fayrer, and one that loueth me ten times better, with whome I may be both clenlyer receiued and dayntelier cherisshed

xantip. Beleuest thou that it will take and I put it into a profe.

Eulali. Looke on me. I warrante it or ought longe I wyll in hande with thyne husbande, & I will tell hym his part.

xantippa. ye marie that is well sayde. But be wyse that he espie not our casle, he would plaie his fages, all the house should be to lytle for hym.

Eulalia. Take no thoughte. I shall so conuey my matters, that he shall dysclose all together hym selfe, what busynesse is betwene you, that done I wyll handell him pretelie as I thinke beste, and I truste to make him a new man for the and when I se my time I wyl make a lie for thee, how louinge thou hast spoken of him.

xantippa. Chryst spede vs and bringe our pupose well aboute.

Eulalia. He will not fayle the so thou do thy good wyll.

There was a man that maried a woman whiche hadde great riches and beawtye. Howe bee it she hadde suche an impedyment of nature that she was domme and coulde not speake, whiche thynge made him ryghte pensyfe, and sayd, wherfore vpon a daye as he walked alone ryght heuye in hearte thynkynge vpon his wyfe. There came one to hym and asked him what was the cause of his heuynesse whiche answered that it was onely bycause his wife was borne dōme. To whome this other said I shal shewe the soone a remedy and a medicyne (therfore that is thus) go tak an aspen leafe and lay it vnder her tōge this night shee beinge a sleape, and I warrant the that shee shall speake on the morowe whiche man beyng glad of thys medycyne prepared therfore and gathered aspen leaues, wherfore he layd thre of them vnder her tonge whan shee was a sleape.

And on the morow when he him selfe awaked he Desyrous to know how hys medicine wrought being in bed with her, he demaunded of her how she did, and sodēly she answered and sayd, I beshrewe thy harte for waking me so early, and so by the vertue of that medycyne she was restored to her speche. But in cōclusion her spech encresed day by day and she was so curst of cōdycyon that euery daie she brauled and chyd with her husbande, so muche at the laste he was more weped, and had much more trouble and disease wyth her shrewed wordes then he hadde before whē she was dumme, wherfore as he walked another time alone he happened to mete agayne with the same personne that taught hym the sayde medycine and sayde to hym thys wyse. Syr ye taught me a medicin but late to make my domme wyfe to speake, byddynge me lay an aspen leafe vnder her toūg when she sleapte, and I layde three Aspen leaves there.

Wherfore nowe she speaketh. But yet she speaketh soo much & so shrewdlye that I am more werier of her now, then I was when she was dōme: Wherfore I praie you teache me a medycine to modyfye her that she speake not so muche. This other answered and sayd thus. Sir I am a deuyl of hel but I am one of thē that haue least power there. Al be yet I haue power to make a womā to speake, but and yf a woman begin ones to speake, I nor al the deuyls in hel that haue the mooste power be not able to make a woman to be styll, nor to cause her to leue speakyng.

The end of this pleasant dialogue declaryng the seueral properties of ye two contrary disposers of the wyues aforesayde.

Imprinted at London in Paules church yearde, at the sygne of

the Sunne, by Antony Kytson.