Category: Humour

A Maid and a Million Men the candid confessions of Leona Canwick, censored indiscreetly by James G. Dunton

There was a party up in Heaven the night that I was born and my mother’s Guardian Angel was playing one of those now-you-see-it-and-now-you-don’t shell games with the Court Jester while the Head-Man so far forgot himself, under the influence of the chorus of angelic yessers, a...

Chapters

14. CHAPTER 14

One day Ben was singing and an intellectual sort of chap in the next room piped up to tell him that his voice sounded “like two skeletons dancing on a tin roof and a pregnant bu...

18. CHAPTER 18

Well, we got to Paris again and now I was Sergeant Major Canwick and the promotion came about as a result of Captain Winstead’s trying to get me a transfer. He discovered that h...

16. CHAPTER 16

In Tours another letter came from Leon. That man was likely to have us both hung before another month was out! What did he do now but run right into Jay-Jay, and the latter welc...

9. CHAPTER 9

We’d been in Le Mans a month and nothing very exciting had happened. We came down from Brest in those French box cars that are marked “8 chevaux 40 hommes” and it took me a week...

1. CHAPTER 1

There was a party up in Heaven the night that I was born and my mother’s Guardian Angel was playing one of those now-you-see-it-and-now-you-don’t shell games with the Court Jest...

15. CHAPTER 15

“Your friend Marfield found me at the office this afternoon and I gathered that he is hunting for you. I took the liberty of telling him you had already left Paris for parts unk...

5. CHAPTER 5

If there’s one kind of scenery I like more than anything, it’s a winter landscape of rolling hills and evergreen trees laden with snow. Usually the sight of a snowy outdoors is...

13. CHAPTER 13

After stopping at the Captain’s rooms next afternoon and not finding him, I was beginning to feel sort of depressed, because I couldn’t be running in there every hour or so and...

6. CHAPTER 6

I have never forgotten the first days on board that boat. “Well,” I said to myself, “if I am off to the war: to the war I must go!” And how! That tub we were on must have been a...

8. CHAPTER 8

And so—This was Brest, France! Two more weeks almost disappeared into history. I was getting inured to this army life, for it was getting so that I didn’t notice how fast the da...

19. CHAPTER 19

In order to set down in proper order the incidents which we experienced between the night of October 31, and November 4 up at the Front, I have tried to reconstruct, from the me...

7. CHAPTER 7

We had been eight days on this deep blue sea and our convoy hadn’t appeared yet. The General said we’d probably pick them up to-morrow or next day and in another couple days we’...

4. CHAPTER 4

Esky and I left Wakeham at eight o’clock that morning and arrived at the Camp at eleven thirty to find Leon in the slough of despond because he couldn’t get a pass for love nor...

11. CHAPTER 11

American casualties were beginning to come down from the sector around Château Thierry. There had been a bloody battle in progress up there. Reports had it that the Americans we...

20. CHAPTER 20

The War was over, and I was glad. There was no fun in this army game now that Ben was not here. I didn’t know what to do with myself. The new man was a good fellow, I guess, but...

3. CHAPTER 3

The only thing that kept me from going crazy or doing something rash during this time was the problem of the would-be hero of the family, my dear twin. From the first day in cam...

10. CHAPTER 10

God alone knew what he’d been up to. I thought of everything, from drunkenness and disorderly conduct to assault upon an officer. When the personnel clerk told me about it, I co...

2. CHAPTER 2

It never rains but it pours. Here I had worried through seventeen years without any answers at all to my prayers and now in a few short months there were more answers than there...

12. CHAPTER 12

For several days I couldn’t seem to keep from thinking about poor old Lisa and her jealous husband and wondering whether or not they had made peace yet. It was a shame for them...

17. CHAPTER 17

We had to go down to Brest by train because our wagon broke down just outside of Paris and when the General heard that it would take perhaps two days to fix it, he told Ben to s...