A Lively Bit of the Front: A Tale of the New Zealand Rifles on the Western Front

CHAPTER VII

Chapter 71,473 wordsPublic domain

Quits!

"Take these men to the sick-bay," ordered the officer of the watch; "they both look pretty well knocked up. Semaphore the convoy and report that the men have been picked up. We'll see what's to be done with them later on."

After divisions the Commander reported the circumstances to the Captain. The latter, being a chartered humorist, signalled No. 99 to the effect that when boat-lowering practice was again resorted to it would be advisable to provide ring-bolts and securing lashings to prevent the soldiers falling overboard; meanwhile he would make sure of the two he _had_ picked up by keeping them on board the _Gosport_ until her arrival at Port Stanley with the transport under her charge.

Thus Sergeant Malcolm Carr found himself an honorary member of the C.P.O.'s mess on board the _Gosport_, one of the earlier type of "town" cruisers detailed for convoying duties in the South Pacific.

Malcolm thoroughly enjoyed the novelty of being on board a war-ship. What struck him most was the good order and discipline that prevailed; everything was "carried out at the double", yet there was a total absence of unnecessary noise. Compared with the somewhat boisterous conditions obtaining on board Transport 99, the _Gosport_ was a floating model of smartness and efficiency.

"Do you know anything about a kangaroo, Sergeant?" enquired a burly armourer's mate.

It was Thursday--"make and mend" afternoon. The ship's company was allowed a period of comparative relaxation. Being fine weather, most of the "I watch below" were on deck, sunning themselves upon the raised fo'c'sle.

"A kangaroo?" repeated Malcolm cautiously, half suspecting that the man was trying to "pull his leg".

"Yes," replied the other, a proper kangaroo. "You ought to know a lot about them, since they come from down your way."

"I'm afraid you are mistaken," said Carr. "I have seen kangaroos in New Zealand, but they were looked upon as animal curiosities. Why do you ask?"

"We've got a kangaroo for a ship's mascot. Had it given us when we were coaling ship at Sydney. The brute is pining. He won't tackle ship's beef or condensed milk. His hay ration's expended, but the cook's keeping him going on biscuit mashed in 'bubbly'. Some of the men suggested cocoa as a change of diet. We thought perhaps, seeing that you were an Anzac, that you Could tell us what's the correct grub for the brute."

"It's want of exercise that's put Panjie off 'is feed, Bill," interposed a leading signalman. "That's what's done it."

"Maybe you're right," was the armourer's mate's grudging concession.

"And if," continued the "bunting-tosser", carried away by his brilliant brain-wave, "Panjie was to fall in with the physical-exercise party, an' skip round the ship 'arf a dozen times afore breakfast, I'll allow he'd scoff his 'ard tack without a murmur."

In the course of the afternoon a request was forwarded to the Commander that the kangaroo should be allowed on deck for exercise. The paper, marked "Approved, provided due precautions are taken", was returned to the members of the "Mascot Committee".

Without further delay preparations were made for the kangaroo's course of physical exercise. A space between two of the casemate guns of the starboard side was barricaded off, the officers' practice nets having been loaned for the event.

Practically all the ship's company crowded round to witness the show. Every coign of vantage was packed with interested lower-deck humanity, while from both the fore and after bridges the officers forgathered to watch the performance.

Panjie's cage, carried by half a dozen lusty blue-jackets, was deposited in close proximity to the only opening left in the extensive corral. Not since the eventful day when the _Gosport's_ barbers close-clipped Bingo, the monkey, had such interest been shown in any unofficial incident. Bingo was Panjie's predecessor, a large Madagascar ape. Curiosity concerning a barrel of coal-tar led to Bingo's undoing. Cropping, and afterwards washing the animal with grease and paraffin, were the only remedies, and but temporary; for, shorn of its warm fur, the monkey caught pneumonia and succumbed.

Heralded by the chief keeper, a corporal of Red Marines, the kangaroo leapt lightly into the arena in an attitude reminiscent of a light-weight boxer. It was a half-grown animal of about four feet six inches in height. Apparently indifferent to the grant of limited freedom, it ambled to a recess formed by the side of the casemate and the raised coaming of a closed ammunition-hoist.

"Put a pair of boxing-gloves on him, Paddy," shouted one of the Corporal's shipmates. "Take him on for half a dozen rounds under the Marquis of Queensberry's rules."

"Enter him for the high jump," vociferated another.

"Take 'im on 'catch as catch can'," suggested a third.

To all these suggestions the marine turned a deaf ear. He had his own idea of the correct method of exercising the animal and at the same time contributing to his comrades' enjoyment.

"Now then, you concertina boys, give us a two-step," he called out. "Come on, my lady, let's see if I can span your slender waist."

Either the kangaroo objected to the marine's mistake in the matter of gender or else he was disinclined to be forced to perform, for, as the Corporal grasped the animal's short fore paws, Panjie let rip with one of his powerful hind legs. The kangaroo might have been off his feed, but his muscular powers seemed in no way impaired. The sharp claws, missing the man's face by a mere inch, sliced his forage jacket and trousers from shoulder to knee.

At the possibility of a scrap the ship's company cheered, some yelling encouragement to the kangaroo, others backing the representative of His Majesty's jollies.

The outburst of sound terrified the animal. With a stupendous bound Panjie leapt at the netting, ripping his way through as easily as a pantomime clown jumps through a paper hoop. Over the heads and shoulders of a tightly-packed throng of bluejackets the brute vaulted; then, viewing a comparatively clear space, it bounded towards the sacred precincts of the quarter-deck.

Here the Fleet-paymaster and the Engineer-commander, who were keeping aloof from the revels, were engaged in a strictly official conversation. Like a dart Panjie dived betwixt the bowed legs of the accountant officer, and, in blind desperation, butted the senior officer of the engineering branch full in the chest. Then with a terrific leap the kangaroo cleared the rail and disappeared overboard.

There was a rush to the side. Some of the men hastened to man the sea-boat, but the upheld hand of the Commander indicated that they were to "stand fast".

The sea was like glass. The usual Pacific roll was entirely absent. A quarter of a mile on the starboard quarter the _Awarua_ was resolutely plugging along at 10 knots.

Bobbing in the wake of the cruiser was a darkbrown object. It was Panjie. The animal had escaped the suction of the propellers, but the fall from a vessel pelting along at 20 knots had evidently stunned it. At all events it made no effort to swim.

No order was given for the _Gosport_ to reverse engines or even to slow down. She merely "carried on" describing a vast circle round the slow-moving Transport 99.

"By Jove, sir!" exclaimed the Commander, addressing the Captain. "The _Awarua's_ starboarding helm."

"She is," admitted the Skipper grimly. "We've played into her hands this time, I fancy."

The "owner's" surmise was correct. Lining the side of the transport were hundreds of troops. Some of them, and several of the _Awarua's_ crew, had provided themselves with running bowlines, and as the unfortunate Panjie drifted close to the ship he was saluted with a shower of lassos.

"They've hooked him, sir!" reported the Commander as the kangaroo's limp body, firmly encircled with three or four bowlines, was unceremoniously hauled on board the transport.

"By the powers they have," agreed the Skipper bitterly, and straightway he left the bridge and went below.

Five minutes later the _Awarua's_ semaphore began working rapidly. On the _Gosport's_ bridge a barefooted signalman wrote down the message on a pad. He was unable to conceal a broad grin as he handed the signal to the Commander.

No need for the latter to read the writing. He, in common with nearly all the officers and crew, had read the semaphore verbatim.

With the utmost temerity the skipper of the _Awarua_ had sent the following report:--

"One of your crew has been picked up by Transport 99. In view of the heavy sea now running" (_it was a flat calm a regular "Paddy's hurricane"_) "I propose retaining the said member, in order to avoid a repetition of the accident. Do you concur?"

The message was sent to the captain of the cruiser. Sportsmanlike the skipper accepted the sarcastic signal with a good grace.

Back came the answer: "Now we are quits! Congratulations!"