SCENE III.

A CHURCHYARD BY MOONLIGHT.

_Enter CHARLES, SOPHIA, BARBARA, and HORATIA._

CHARLES. Where on earth are you taking me?

SOPHIA. To safety, to safety.

BARBARA. We know all.

CHARLES. You know all?

HORATIA. Your name, your situation....

CHARLES. Then you must know that the coming of the Colonel is hangably inconvenient to me.

SOPHIA. We tremble at your danger.

HORATIA. We will defend you with our lives.

CHARLES. Excessively kind, but it is not quite come to that yet. A kick or a caning....

SOPHIA. You make us shudder.

CHARLES. But I do not like promenading at this hour in winter! Is it a country fashion? I am very cold, and tired, and sleepy, and I would rather retire to rest.

HORATIA. Here then we have arrived at the spot. Descend, and you will find a bed prepared for you.

CHARLES. Descend! why, hang me if it isn’t a vault!

SOPHIA. If it would please you to descend....

CHARLES. Please me, you barbarous witches! would it please any one to be buried alive? What on earth do you mean?

BARBARA. The only way to preserve your rights....

CHARLES. Rites, do you call these rites? They are very inhuman rites. Anything but the rites of hospitality. To offer a stranger the shelter of your roof, and then make his bed in a vault! This is your spare-room, is it? If I had guessed what you meant to do with your guest, I would not have troubled you with my company.

HORATIA. O, for your Country’s sake....

CHARLES. My Country’s sake! what good can it do my Country? I know your motives, you scientific Monster! you want to make a petrifaction of me.

HORATIA. Is it possible that a treatment so....

CHARLES. A treat meant is it? If you mean it for a treat, I assure you that I do not consider it as one. You may go in yourself and enjoy it.

BARBARA. So short a space ...

CHARLES. A very short space I can see, and a very narrow space too. I’ll be hanged if I get into it!

HORATIA. Who could have expected opposition from such a quarter?

SOPHIA. Can the Hero shrink from so small a trial of his constancy? Oh, descend, descend, and we will admire....

CHARLES. Add mire, you cruel wretches! is there not enough at the bottom already?

HORATIA. We would preserve you.

CHARLES. Didn’t I say so? Some inhuman experiment! But I’ll not be preserved to please you, not I.

SOPHIA. [_Throwing herself at his feet._] O noblest of men! doubt not our fidelity! yield to our agonized entreaties!

[_The others kneel._]

CHARLES. Yield, indeed! I beg you will rise, fair Ladies. I know not if you are jesting; ’tis but a cold jest to me. As for entering that vault, you may kill me before you bury me, for while I’m alive I’ll not go, Ladies; I say I will not go.

HORATIA. Then we must leave him to his fate.

CHARLES. Leave me, leave me, all alone in a churchyard. Ladies, ladies, for pity’s sake....

HORATIA. I am beside myself.

CHARLES. Remain then beside me. Or rather, why cannot we return to the house? I am half frozen with cold and ... and excitement!

BARBARA. You forget the Colonel.

CHARLES. The Colonel. O, is that all? Can’t you hide me in some quiet corner?

HORATIA. I have it! the storeroom.

BARBARA. But if a search should be made?

CHARLES. Search! who’ll search? The storeroom is the very place. Come, come, the air is piercing; come.

BARBARA. This way; by the kitchen door.

CHARLES. Once more into the house, dear friends, once more. [_Exit._]

HORATIA. Is this the Prince? the Hero?

SOPHIA. O Ratty! our duty remains the same! [_Exeunt._]