Part 6

PROBATIONER. Oh, Danny, don’t tell me that when I meet you with your bag of tools I’ll be a beast. Surely there will be at least a smile of friendship between us in memory of the old days.

DANNY. I wonder! That’s up to you, my lady. (_But he will be wiser if he arranges that it is to be up to himself._)

PROBATIONER (_calling attention to the music_). Listen! No. 7—to-day is ours.

(_She impulsively offers herself for the waltz; they dance together._)

DANNY (_when all is over_). Thank you, my lady.

(_She curtseys and he goes out rather finely. It is not likely that her next partner will be equal to her plumber. The two girls are left alone, both nice girls of about the same age; but the poor one has already lived so long that the other, though there may be decades before her, will never make up on_ CINDERELLA. _It would be grand to see this waif, the moment after death, setting off stoutly on the next adventure._)

CINDERELLA. He is a droll character, Danny! (_Examining herself in a hand-mirror._) Nurse, would you say my hair is looking right? He likes the cap.

PROBATIONER (_who will soon forget her, but is under the spell at present_). Your David?

CINDERELLA (_on her dignity_). He’s not mine, Nurse.

PROBATIONER. Isn’t he?

CINDERELLA. Hey, hey, hey! Nurse, when he comes you don’t need to stay very long.

PROBATIONER (_in the conspiracy_). I won’t.

CINDERELLA (_casually_). He might have things to say to me, you see.

PROBATIONER. Yes, he might.

CINDERELLA (_solemnly_). You and me are both very young, but maybe you understand about men better than I do. You’ve seen him, and this is terrible important. Swear by Almighty God you’re to tell me the truth. Would you say that man loves little children?

PROBATIONER (_touched_). Don’t frighten me, Cinderella; I believe him to be that kind of man. Are you fond of your policeman, dear?

CINDERELLA (_winking_). That’s telling! (_Importantly._) Nurse, did you ever have a love-letter?

PROBATIONER (_gaily_). Not I! Don’t want to; horrid little explosives! But have you—has he—?

CINDERELLA (_becoming larger_). In my poor opinion, if it’s not a love-letter, it’s a very near thing.

PROBATIONER. If I could see the darling little detestable?

CINDERELLA. Oh no, oh no, no, no, no! But I’ll tell you one thing as is in it. This—‘There are thirty-four policemen sitting in this room, but I would rather have you, my dear.’ What do you think? That’s a fine bit at the end.

PROBATIONER (_sparkling_). Lovely! Go on, Cinderella, fling reticence to the winds.

CINDERELLA (_doing so_). Unless I am—very far out—in my judgment of men—that man is infatuate about me!

PROBATIONER (_clapping her hands_). The delicious scoundrel! Cinderella, be merciless to him! Knife him, you dear! Give him beans!

CINDERELLA (_gurgling_). I ill-treats him most terrible!

PROBATIONER. That’s the way! down with lovers, slit them to ribbons, stamp on them.

CINDERELLA. Sometimes I—(_she sits up_). Listen!

PROBATIONER (_alarmed_). It isn’t Dr. Bodie, is it?

CINDERELLA. No, it’s _him_.

PROBATIONER. I don’t hear a sound.

CINDERELLA. I can hear him fanning his face with his helmet. He has come in such a hurry. Nurse, you watch me being cruel to him.

PROBATIONER. At him, Cinderella, at him!

DANNY (_flinging open the door_). The Constabulary’s carriage stops the way.

(_Our_ POLICEMAN _stalks in, wetting his lips as he does so_.)

PROBATIONER (_giving him her hand_). How do you do? You forget, I daresay, that I met you when you were here last; but I remember ‘our policeman.’

(_He is bashful._)

There she is.

(_The wicked invalid is looking the other way._)

POLICEMAN. A visitor to see you, Jane.

CINDERELLA (_without looking round_). I thought it had a visitor’s sound. (_She peeps at the_ PROBATIONER _gleefully_.)

POLICEMAN (_very wooden_). You don’t ask who it is, Jane?

CINDERELLA. I thought it might be that great big ridiculous policeman.

(DANNY _laughs, and our_ POLICEMAN _gives him a very stern look_.)

POLICEMAN (_after reflection_). I’m here again, Jane.

CINDERELLA (_admitting it with a glance_). Perhaps you didn’t ought to come so often; it puts them about.

POLICEMAN (_cleverly_). But does it put you about, Jane?

CINDERELLA. Hey! Hey! (_With a cunning waggle of the hand she intimates to the_ NURSE _that she may go_.)

DANNY (_who is not so easily got rid of_). You had best be going too, Robert. The lady has answered you in the negative.

POLICEMAN (_lowering_). You make a move there.

(DANNY, _affecting alarm, follows the_ PROBATIONER.)

CINDERELLA. I like fine to hear you ordering the public about, David.

POLICEMAN (_humbly_). I’m very pleased, Jane, if there’s any little thing about me that gives you satisfaction.

(_He puts down a small parcel that he has brought in._)

CINDERELLA (_curious_). What’s in the parcel, David?

POLICEMAN. That remains to be seen. (_He stands staring at his divinity._)

CINDERELLA (_sneering_). What are you looking at?

POLICEMAN. Just at you.

CINDERELLA (_in high delight_). Me! There’s little to look at in me. You should see the larder at the Home! You’ll have a cup of China tea and some of this cake?

POLICEMAN. No, Jane, no. (_In a somewhat melancholy voice._) Things to eat have very little interest to me now.

CINDERELLA. Oh?

POLICEMAN. I’ve gone completely off my feed.

(CINDERELLA _would have liked the_ PROBATIONER _to hear this_.)

CINDERELLA (_artfully_). I wonder how that can be!

POLICEMAN. Did you get my letter, Jane?

CINDERELLA (_calmly_). I got it—

POLICEMAN. Did you—did you think it was a peculiar sort of a letter?

CINDERELLA (_mercilessly_). I don’t mind nothing peculiar in it.

POLICEMAN. There was no word in it that took you aback, was there?

CINDERELLA. Not that I mind of.

POLICEMAN (_worried_). Maybe you didn’t read it very careful?

CINDERELLA. I may have missed something. What was the word, David?

POLICEMAN (_in gloom_). Oh, it was just a small affair. It was just a beginning. I thought, if she stands that she’ll stand more. But if you never noticed it—(_He sighs profoundly._)

CINDERELLA. I’ll take another look—

POLICEMAN (_brightening_). You’ve kept it?

CINDERELLA. I have it here.

POLICEMAN. I could let you see the word if it’s convenient to you to get the letter out of your pocket.

CINDERELLA. It’s not in my pocket.

POLICEMAN. Is it under the pillow?

CINDERELLA. No.

POLICEMAN (_puzzled_). Where, then?

(CINDERELLA, _with charming modesty, takes the letter from her bodice. Her lover is thunderstruck._)

What made you think of keeping it there?

CINDERELLA. I didn’t think, David; it just came to me.

POLICEMAN (_elate_). It’s infall_ay_able! I’ll let you see the word.

CINDERELLA (_smiling at the ridiculous man_). You don’t need to bother, David. Fine I know what the word is.

POLICEMAN (_anxious_). And you like it?

CINDERELLA. If you like it.

POLICEMAN. That emboldens me tremendous.

CINDERELLA. I don’t like that so much. If there’s one thing I like more than any other thing in the world—

POLICEMAN (_eager_). Yes?

CINDERELLA. It’s seeing you, David, tremendous bold before all other folk, and just in a quake before me.

POLICEMAN (_astounded_). It’s what I am! And yet there’s something bold I must say to you.

CINDERELLA (_faltering genteelly_). Is there?

POLICEMAN. It’ll be a staggering surprise to you.

(CINDERELLA _giggles discreetly_.)

I promised the Doctor as I came in not to tire you. (_With some awe._) She’s a powerful woman that.

CINDERELLA. If you tire me I’ll hold up my hand just like you do to stop the traffic. Go on, David. Just wait a moment. (_She takes off his helmet and holds it to her thin breast._) Here’s a friend of mine. Now?

POLICEMAN (_despairing of himself_). I wish I was a man in a book. It’s pretty the way they say it; and if ever there was a woman that deserved to have it said pretty to her it’s you. I’ve been reading the books. There was one chap that could speak six languages. Jane, I wish I could say it to you in six languages, one down and another come up, till you had to take me in the end.

CINDERELLA. To take you?

POLICEMAN (_in woe_). Now I’ve gone and said it in the poorest, silliest way! Did you hold up your hand to stop me, Jane?

CINDERELLA. No.

POLICEMAN (_encouraged_). But I’ve said it. Will you, Jane?

CINDERELLA (_doggedly_). Will I what?

POLICEMAN. Do you not see what I’m driving at?

CINDERELLA. Fine I see what you’re driving at.

POLICEMAN. Then won’t you help me out?

CINDERELLA. No.

POLICEMAN. If you could just give me a shove.

CINDERELLA (_sympathetically_). Try Badgery.

POLICEMAN (_brightening_). Have you forgotten that pool in Badgery Water where the half-pounder used—No, you never was there! Jane, the heart of me is crying out to walk with you by Badgery Water.

CINDERELLA. That’s better!

POLICEMAN. I would never think of comparing Mrs. Bodie to you. For my part I think nothing of uppers. Feet for me.

(_She gives him her hand to hold._)

My dear!

CINDERELLA. You said _that_ was only a beginning!

POLICEMAN. My dearest!

CINDERELLA (_glistening_). I’m not feeling none tired, David.

POLICEMAN. My pretty!

CINDERELLA. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

POLICEMAN. I don’t set up to be a prince, Jane; but I love you in a princely way, and if you would marry me, you wonder, I’ll be a true man to you till death us do part. Come on, Cinders. (_Pause._) It’s the only chance that belt of mine has.

CINDERELLA. No, no, I haven’t took you yet! There’s a thing you could do for me, that would gratify me tremendous.

POLICEMAN. It’s done.

CINDERELLA. I want you to let me have the satisfaction, David, of having refused you once.

POLICEMAN. Willingly; but what for?

CINDERELLA. I couldn’t say. Just because I’m a woman. Mind you, I daresay I’ll cast it up at you in the future.

POLICEMAN. I’ll risk that. Will you be my princess, Jane?

CINDERELLA. You promise to ask again? At once?

POLICEMAN. Yes.

CINDERELLA. Say—I do.

POLICEMAN. I do.

CINDERELLA (_firmly_). It’s a honour you do me, policeman, to which I am not distasteful. But I don’t care for you in that way, so let there be no more on the subject. (_Anxiously._) Quick, David!

POLICEMAN. For the second time, will you marry me, Jane?

CINDERELLA (_who has been thinking out the answer for several days_). David, I love thee, even as the stars shining on the parched earth, even as the flowers opening their petals to the sun; even as mighty ocean with its billows; even so do I love thee, David. (_She nestles her head on his shoulder._)

POLICEMAN. If only I could have said it like that!

CINDERELLA (_happily_). That’s just a bit I was keeping handy. (_Almost in a whisper._) David, do you think I could have a engagement ring?

POLICEMAN (_squaring his shoulders_). As to that, Jane, first tell me frankly, do you think the Police Force is romantical?

CINDERELLA. They’re brave and strong, but—

POLICEMAN. The general verdict is no. And yet a more romantical body of men do not exist. I have been brooding over this question of engagement rings, and I consider them unromantical affairs! (_He walks toward his parcel._)

CINDERELLA. David, what’s in that parcel?

POLICEMAN. Humbly hoping you would have me, Jane, I have had something special made for you—

CINDERELLA (_thrilling_). Oh, David, what is it?

POLICEMAN. It’s a policeman’s idea of an engagement ring—

CINDERELLA. Quick! Quick!

POLICEMAN. —for my amazing romantical mind said to me that, instead of popping a ring on the finger of his dear, a true lover should pop a pair of glass slippers upon her darling feet!

CINDERELLA. David, you’re a poet!

POLICEMAN (_not denying it_). It’s what you’ve made me—and proud I would be if, for the honour of the Force, I set this new fashion in engagement rings. (_He reveals the glass slippers._)

(CINDERELLA _holds out her hands for the little doves_.)

They’re not for hands. (_He uncovers her feet._)

CINDERELLA. They’re terrible small! Maybe they’ll not go on!

(_They go on._)

CINDERELLA. They’re like two kisses.

POLICEMAN. More like two love-letters.

CINDERELLA. No, David, no,—kisses.

POLICEMAN. We won’t quarrel about it, Cinders; but at the same time.... However!

(_He presses her face to him for a moment so that he may not see its transparency._ DR. BODIE _has told him something_.)

TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE

Italic text is denoted by _underscores_.

Obvious typographical errors and punctuation errors have been corrected after careful comparison with other occurrences within the text and consultation of external sources.

Some hyphens in words have been silently removed, some added, when a predominant preference was found in the original book.

Except for those changes noted below, all misspellings in the text, and inconsistent or archaic usage, have been retained.

Pg 7: ‘in the passage.’ replaced by ‘in the passage.)’.

Pg 30: ‘He stops short’ replaced by ‘(He stops short’.