Chapter 5

Bishop _Burnet_ celebrates, with the greatest Justness, our Taste, and indeed the Taste of the World in this Respect, when he relates how _Popery_ was then used among us; and he recites some of the _Jests_ which passed and were received with universal Applause. He tells us[85], "The Court was now (that is, in 1686,) much set on making Converts, which fail'd in most Instances, and produc'd _Repartees_; that whether true or false, were much repeated, and were heard with great Satisfaction. The Earl of _Mulgrave_ (since Duke of _Buckinghamshire_) was Lord Chamberlain; he was apt to comply in every thing that he thought might be acceptable, for he went with the King to Mass, and kneeled at it; and being look'd on as indifferent to all Religions, the Priests made an Attack upon him: He heard them _gravely_ arguing for _Transubstantiation_. He told them he was willing to receive Instruction; he had taken much Pains to bring himself to believe in God, who made the World and all Men in it: But it must not be an ordinary Force of Argument that could make him believe that Man was quits with God, and made God again. The Earl of _Middleton_ had marry'd into a Popish Family, and was a Man of great Parts and a generous Temper, but of loose Principles in Religion; so a Priest was sent to instruct him. He began with _Transubstantiation_, of which he said he would convince him immediately: And began thus, You believe the _Trinity_. _Middleton_ stop'd him, and said, who told you so? At which he seem'd amazed. So the Earl said, he expected he should convince him of his Belief, but not question him of his own: With this the Priest was so disorder'd, that he could proceed no farther. One Day the King gave the Duke of _Norfolk_ the Sword of State to carry before him to the Chappel, and he stood at the Door. Upon which the King said to him, My Lord, your Father would have gone farther. To which the Duke answer'd, Your Majesty's Father was the better Man, and he would not have gone so far. _Kirk_ was also spoken to, to change his Religion, and he reply'd briskly, that he was already pre-engag'd, for _he had promised the King of_ Morocco, _that if ever he chang'd his Religion he would turn_ Mahometan." When K. _James_ sent an _Irish_ Priest to convert the D. of _Bucks_ [_Villers_] the said Duke entertain'd the Priest with a Bottle, and engag'd him in a _Dialogue_, which the Duke afterwards caus'd to be printed, to the no small Mortification of all Papists, who were therein exceedingly ridicul'd, and to the Triumph of all good Churchmen, who are never better pleas'd, than when they have the _Laugh_ on their side.

At this time also were publish'd two merry Books, by a couple of our Divines, with express View to make Protestants laugh at _Popery_, as at a _Farce_; and they were, _The School of the Eucharist_, wherein is a Collection of ridiculous _Miracles_, pretended to be wrought to support the Truth of _Transubstantiation_, and _Purgatory prov'd by Miracles_.

I must not omit another incomparable Piece of Wit and Raillery against _Popery_, publish'd at that time. It seems the famous Poet, _Dryden_, thought fit to declare himself a _Roman Catholick_; and had, as 'tis said, a _Penance_ injoyn'd him by his Confessor, for having formerly written _The Spanish Fryar_, of composing some _Treatise_ in a _poetical way_ for _Popery_, and against the _Reformation_. This he executed in a _Poem_, intituled, _The Hind and Panther_; which, setting aside the Absurdity of the Matters therein asserted, and of the several Arguments to maintain them, is, in other Respects, one of the most mean Compositions that ever the Press produc'd. Was it proper to pass over in silence such a Work, from whence probably the Popish Party expected great Matters, as knowing the Efficacy of Poetry, and being Witnesses of the Success the Author had had in his _Absalom_ and _Achitophel_ against the _Whigs_? Was it proper to write _seriously_ and _gravely_ against a Book, wherein the Author every where aims at Wit, Irony, and Burlesque, and does himself make so ridiculous a Figure, as to be a standing Jest throughout the whole? Was not the Convert himself, as such, a _Jest_, or as professing any Religion, a _Jest_; who argu'd for Pay, and spoke as he was brib'd, and would have profess'd any Opinions, as is the Mode and Practice of the World, to which Salary and Preferments are annexed? Some ingenious Persons of the Times took a better Method, and agreeably to the Temper and Disposition of our Countrymen, and to the nature of _Dryden_'s Attack, and his interested Writing for Religion, made a Return in a Paper intituled, _The Hind and Panther transvers'd to the Story of the Country-Mouse and City-Mouse_: Out of which, for a Specimen of _just Irony_, and _fine Raillery_, I will give you the following Passage.

"_Sirrah, says_ Brindle, _thou hast brought us_ Wine, "_Sour to my Taste, and to my Eyes unfine._ "_Says_ Will, _All Gentlemen like it. Ah! says_ White, "_What is approved by them must needs be right._ "_'Tis true, I thought it bad, but if the_ House "_Commend it, I submit, a_ private Mouse. "_Nor to their Catholick Consent oppose_ "_My erring Judgment and reforming Nose._ "[86]_Why, what a Devil, shan't I trust my Eyes,_ "_Must I drink Stum, because the Rascal lies,_ "_And palms upon us_ Catholick _Consent,_ "_To give_ sophisticated Brewings _Vent?_ "_Says_ White, _what antient Evidence can sway,_ "_If you must argue thus and not obey?_ "Drawers _must be trusted, thro' whose hands convey'd_ "_You take the Liquor, or you spoil the Trade._ "_For sure those honest_ Fellows _have no Knack_ "_Of putting off stum'd Claret for_ Pontack. "_How long alas! would the poor Vintner last,_ } "_If all that drink must_ judge, _and every Guest_ } "_Be allow'd to have an understanding_ Taste? }

VII. I question whether High-Church would be willing to have the reverend Author of the _Tale of a Tub_, one of the greatest _Droles_ that ever appear'd upon the Stage of the World, punish'd for that or any other of his _drolling_ Works: For tho religious Matters, and all the various Forms of Christianity have therein a considerable Share of _Ridicule_; yet in regard of his _Drollery_ upon the _Whigs_, _Dissenters_, and the _War_ with _France_ (things of as _serious_ and weighty Consideration, and as much affecting the Peace of Society, as _Justification_ by _Faith only_, _Predestination_, _Transubstantiation_, or _Constansubstantiation_, or _Questions_ about _religious Ceremonies_, or any such interested Matters) the _Convocation_ in their famous _Representation_ of the _Profaneness_ and _Blasphemy_ of the Nation, took no notice of his _drolling_ on Christianity: And his Usefulness in _Drollery_ and _Ridicule_ was deem'd sufficient by the _Pious_ Queen _Anne_, and her _pious Ministry_, to intitle him to a Church Preferment of several hundred Pounds _per Ann._ [87] which she bestow'd upon him, notwithstanding a _fanatick High-Churchman_, who weakly thought _Seriousness_ in Religion of more use to High-Church than _Drollery_, and attempted to hinder his Promotion, by representing to her Majesty, "What a Scandal it would be both to Church and State to bestow Preferment upon a Clergyman, who was hardly suspected of being a Christian." Besides, High-Church receives daily most signal Services from his drolling Capacity, which has of late exerted itself on the Jacobite Stage of _Mist_'s and _Fogg_'s Journal, and in other little Papers publish'd in _Ireland_; in which he endeavours to expose the present Administration of publick Affairs to contempt, to inflame the _Irish_ Nation against the _English_, and to make them throw off all Subjection to the _English_ Government, to satirize Bishop _Burnet_ and other _Whig_ Bishops; and, in fine, to pave the way for a new or Popish Revolution, as far as choosing the most proper Topicks of Invective, and treating of them in the way of _Drollery_, can do.

VIII. It is well known, that Gravity, Preciseness, Solemnity, Sourness, formal Dress and Behaviour, Sobriety of Manners, keeping at a distance from the common Pastimes of the World, Aversion to Rites and Ceremonies in the publick Worship, and to Pictures, Images, and Musick in Churches; mixing Religion in common Conversion, using long Graces, practising Family-Worship, part of which was praying _ex tempore_; setting up and hearing Lectures, and a strict Observation of the Lord's Day, which was call'd the _Sabbath_, were the Parts of the Character of a _Puritan_; who, it is to be observ'd, usually had the Imputation of Hypocrisy for his great and extraordinary Pretences to Religion: He was also a great Opposer of the Court-Measures in the Reign of King _James_ and King _Charles_ I. and most zealous for Law, Liberty, and Property, when those two Princes set up for raising Money by their own Authority, and in consequence thereof, fell into numerous other Acts of Violence and Injustice. It is also well known, that to quell these Puritans, and lessen their Credit, and baffle all their Pretences, Gaiety, Mirth, Pastimes or Sports, were incourag'd and requir'd on _Sundays_ of the People, that Churches were render'd gay, theatrical, and pleasant by the Decorations, Paintings, Musick, and Ceremonies therein perform'd[88]; and that the utmost Ridicule was employ'd against some of them, as _Enthusiasts_, and against others of them as _Hypocrites_, and against them all as factious and seditious, by their Adversaries; who were under no Restraints, but incourag'd to write with Scorn, Contempt, Raillery and Satire against these suppos'd Enemies of Church and State. Nor did the great Success of the _Puritans_ in the Field of Battle suppress that _Vein_ and _Humour_ of _Ridicule_ begun against them; but the _Laudean_ Party still carry'd on a Paper War with innumerable Pamphlets, which all tended more or less to make the World _laugh_ at and _ridicule_ the _Puritans_. And I am verily persuaded, that no History of any other Country in the World can produce a Parallel, wherein the Principle and Practice of _Ridicule_ were ever so strongly encourag'd, and so constantly pursu'd, fix'd and rooted in the Minds of Men, as it was and is in Churchmen against Puritans and Dissenters. Even at this Day the _Ridicule_ is so strong against the present Dissenters, so promoted by Clergy and Laity, especially in Villages and small Country Towns, that they are unable to withstand its Force, but daily come over in Numbers to the Church to avoid being _laugh'd_ at. It seems to me a Mark of Distinction more likely to last in the Church than any other Matter that I can observe. Passive Obedience, the divine Right of Kings, _&c._ rise and fall according to particular Occasions; but _Laughter_ at _Dissenters_ seems fixt for ever, if they should chance to last so long.

_South_'s Sermons, which now amount to _six Volumes_, make Reading _Jests_ and _Banter_ upon _Dissenters_, the religious Exercise of good Churchmen upon _Sundays_, who now can serve God (as many think they do by hearing or reading Sermons) and be as merry as at the Play-house. And _Hudibras_, which is a daily High-Church Entertainment, and a Pocket and Travelling High-Church Companion, must necessarily have a very considerable Effect, and cannot fail forming in Men that Humour and Vein of _Ridicule_ upon _Dissenters_ which runs thro' that Work. In a word, High-Church has constantly been an Enemy to, and a Ridiculer of the _Seriousness_ of _Puritans_ and _Dissenters_, whom they have ever charg'd with _Hypocrisy_ for their _Seriousness_.

"After [89] the Civil War had broke out in 1641, and the King and Court had settled at _Oxford_, one _Birkenhead_, who had liv'd in _Laud_'s Family, and been made Fellow of _All Souls College_ by _Laud_'s Means, was appointed to write a Weekly Paper under the Title of _Mercurius Aulicus_; the first whereof was publish'd in 1642. In the Absence of the Author, _Birkenhead_, from _Oxford_, it was continued by _Heylin_. _Birkenhead_ pleas'd the Generality of Readers with his _Waggeries_ and _Buffooneries_; and the Royal Party were so taken with it, that the Author was recommended to be Reader of _Moral Philosophy_ by his Majesty;" who, together with the religious Electors, it is justly to be presum'd, thought _Waggery_ and _Buffoonery_, not only Political, but _Religious_ and _Moral_, when employ'd against _Puritans_ and _Dissenters_.

IX. King _Charles_ the Second's Restoration brought along with it glorious _High-Church_ Times; which were distinguish'd as much by _laughing_ at _Dissenters_, as by persecuting them; which pass for a Pattern how Dissenters are to be treated; and which will never be given up, by _High-Church-men_, as faulty, for ridiculing Dissenters.

The King himself, who had very good natural Parts, and a Disposition to banter and ridicule every Body, and especially the _Presbyterians_, whose Discipline he had felt for his Lewdness and Irreligion in _Scotland_, had in his _Exile_ an Education, and liv'd, among some of the greatest _Droles_ and _Wits_ that any Age ever produc'd; who could not but form him in that way, who was so well fitted by Temper for it. The Duke of _Buckingham_ was his constant Companion. And he had a [90] _great Liveliness of Wit, and a peculiar Faculty of turning all things into ridicule_. He was Author of the _Rehearsal_; which, as a most noble Author says, is [91] _a justly admir'd Piece of comick Wit_, and _has furnish'd our best Wits in all their Controversies, even in Religion and Politicks, as well as in the Affairs of Wit and Learning, with the most effectual and entertaining Method of exposing Folly, Pedantry, false Reason, and ill Writing_. The Duke of _Buckingham_ [92] brought _Hobbes_ to him to be his _Tutor_, who was a _Philosophical Drole_, and had a great deal of _Wit_ of the _drolling_ kind. _Sheldon_, who was afterwards Archbishop of _Canterbury_, and attended the King constantly in his Exile as his _Chaplain_, was an eminent _Drole_, as appears from Bishop _Burnet_, who says[93], that _he had a great Pleasantness of Conversation, perhaps too great_.

And _Hide_, afterwards Earl of _Clarendon_, who attended the King in his Exile, seems also to have been a great Drole, by Bishop _Burnet_'s representing him, as one, that _had too much Levity in his Wit, and that did not observe the Decorum of his Post_[94]. In a _Speech_ to the Lords and Commons, _Hide_ attack'd the Gravity of the Puritans, saying[95], "Very merry Men have been very godly Men; and if a good Conscience be a continued Feast, there is no reason but Men may be very merry at it." And upon Mr. _Baxter_ and other Presbyterian Ministers waiting on him in relation to the _Savoy Conference_, he said to Mr. _Baxter_ on the first Salute[96], that if "he were but as fat as Dr. _Manton_, we should all do well."

No wonder therefore, that _Ridicule_, and _Raillery_, and _Satire_, should prevail at Court after the _Restoration_; and that King _Charles_ the Second, who was a Wit himself, and early taught to laugh at his _Father's Stiffness_[97], should be so great a Master of them, and bring them into play among his Subjects; and that he who had the most sovereign Contempt for all Mankind, and in particular for the People and Church of _England_, should use his Talent against them; and that his People in return should give him like for like.

It is well known how he banter'd the Presbyterian Ministers, who out of Interest came over to him at _Breda_; where they were placed in a Room next to his Majesty, and order'd to attend till his Majesty had done his Devotions; who, it seems, pray'd so artfully, and poured out so many of their Phrases, which he had learned when he was in _Scotland_, where he was forced to be present at religious Exercises of six or seven Hours a-day; and had practis'd among the _Huguenot_ Ministers in _France_[98], who reported him to have a _sanctify'd Heart_, and to _speak the very Language of_ Canaan. This _Ridicule_ he _cover'd_ with _Seriousness_; having at that time Occasion for those Ministers, who were then his great Instruments in reconciling the Nation to his _Restoration_. When he had no farther Occasion for them, he was open in his _Ridicule_, and would say, that [99] _Presbyterianism was not a Religion for a Gentleman_.

X. Would you, who are a Man of Sense and Learning, and of some Moderation, be for punishing the Author of _The Difficulties and Discouragements which attend the Study of the Scriptures in the way of private Judgment_, &c. who is suppos'd to be a Prelate of the Church, for that Book, which is wholly an _Irony_ about the most sacred Persons and Things? Must not the fine _Irony_ it self, and the Execution of it, with so much Learning, Sense, and Wit, raise in you the highest Esteem and Admiration of the Author, instead of a Disposition to punish him? Would you appear to the intelligent Part of the World such an Enemy to Knowledge, and such a Friend to the Kingdom of Darkness, as such Punishment would imply? In fine, can you see and direct us to a better way, to make us inquire after and understand Matters of Religion, to make us get and keep a good temper of Mind, and to plant and cultivate in us the Virtues necessary to good Order and Peace in Society, and to eradicate the Vices that every where give Society so much Disturbance, than what is prescrib'd or imply'd in that Book? And can you think of a better _Form_ of _Conveyance_, or _Vehicle_ for Matters of such universal Concern to all intelligent People (if you consider the State of the World, and the infinite Variety of Understandings, Interests, and Designs of Men, who are all to be address'd to at the same Time) than his Method of _Irony_? And has not Success justify'd his Method? For the Book has had a free Vent in several Impressions; has been very generally read and applauded; has convinced Numbers, and has been no Occasion of trouble either to Bookseller or Author. It has also had the Advantage to have a most ingenious _Letter_ of _John Hales_ of _Eton_ join'd to some Editions of it; who by this _Letter_, as well as by several others of his Pieces, shews himself to have been another _Socrates_, one of the greatest Masters of _true Wit_ and _just Irony_, as well as Learning, which the World ever produc'd; and shews he could have writ such a Book as the _Difficulties_, &c. But if you are capable of coming into any Measures for punishing the Author of the _Difficulties_, &c. for his _Irony_, I conceive, that you may possibly hesitate a little in relation to the same Author, about his _New Defence of the Bishop of_ Bangor_'s Sermon of the Kingdom of Christ, consider'd as it is the Performance of a Man of Letters_; which, tho far below _The Difficulties_, &c. is an ingenious _Irony_ on that _Sermon_. You may probably, like many others of the Clergy, approve of Satire so well employ'd, as against that Bishop, who has succeeded Bishop _Burnet_ in being the Subject of _Clergy-Ridicule_, as well as in his Bishoprick. The Bishop himself was very justly patient, under all Attacks by the Reverend _Trapp_, _Earbery_, _Snape_, _Law_, and _Luke Milbourne_, in his _Tom of Bedlam's Answer to his Brother_ Ben Hoadley, _St._ Peter_'s_ Poor _Parson near the Exchange of Principles_; some of which were of a very abusive kind, and such as can hardly be parallel'd; and did not call upon the Magistrate to come to his Aid against that Author, or against any others of the Clergy who had attack'd him with as great Mockery, Ridicule, and Irony, as ever Bishop had been by the profess'd Adversaries of the Order; or as ever the Bishops had been by the _Puritans_ and _Libellers_ in the Reigns of Queen _Elizabeth_, King _James_ and King _Charles_ the First; or as _Lesley_, _Hickes_, _Hill_, _Atterbury_, _Binks_, and other High-Church Clergy, did the late Bishop _Burnet_. Instead of that he took the true and proper Method, by publishing an _Answer_ to the said _Irony_, compos'd in the same _ironical Strain_, intitled, _The Dean of_ Worcester _still the same: Or his new Defence of the Bishop of_ Bangor_'s Sermon, consider'd, as it is the Performance of a great Critick, a Man of Sense, and a Man of Probity_. Which Answer does, in my Opinion, as much Honour to the Bishop, by its Excellency in the _ironical Way_, as it does by allowing the Method it self, and going into that Method, in imitation of his Reverend Brethren of the Clergy, who appear to be under no Restraints from the _Immorality_ or _Indecency_ of treating the Bishop in the way of Ridicule and with the utmost Contempt; but, on the contrary, to be spurr'd on by the _Excellency_ and _Propriety_ thereof to use it against him, even in the [100] _Pulpit_, as Part of the religious Exercise on the _Lord's-day_.

XI. There is an universal Love and Practice of _Drollery_ and _Ridicule_ in all, even the most _serious_ Men, in the most _serious Places_, and on the most _serious Occasions_. Go into the Privy-Councils of Princes, into Senates, into Courts of Judicature, and into the Assemblies of the Kirk or Church; and you will find that Wit, good Humour, Ridicule, and Drollery, mix themselves in all the Questions before those Bodies; and that the most solemn and sour Person there present, will ever be found endeavouring, at least, to crack his Jest, in order to raise a Character for Wit; which has so great an Applause attending it, and renders Men so universally acceptable for their Conversation, and places them above the greatest Proficients in the Sciences, that almost every one is intoxicated with the Passion of aiming at it.

In the Reports made to us of the Debates in the Houses of Lords, Commons, and Convocation, the serious Parts of the Speeches there made die for the most part with the Sound; but the Wit, the Irony, the Drollery, the Ridicule, the Satire, and Repartees, are thought worthy to be remember'd and repeated in Conversation, and make a Part of the History of the Proceedings of those Bodies, no less than their grave Transactions, as some such must necessarily be.

Whoever will look into Antiquity for an Account of the Lives, Actions, and Works of the old Philosophers, will find little remaining of them; but some of their witty, drolling, and bantering Sayings, which alone have been thought worthy to be preserv'd to Posterity. And if you will look into the Lives of the modern Statesmen, Philosophers, Divines, Lawyers, _&c._ you will find that their witty Sayings ever make a considerable Part: by reporting which great Honour is intended to be done to their Memory. The great and most religious Philosopher Dr. _H. More_, has a great many Pieces of Wit attributed to him in his _Life_ by Mr. _Ward_, who represents him from his Companions, [101] _as one of the merriest Greeks they were acquainted with_, and tells us, that the Doctor said in his _last Illness_, to him[102], _that the merry way was that which he saw mightily to take; and so he used it the more_.

The great and famous Sir _Thomas More_, Lord Chancellor of _England_ in _Henry_ the Eighth's time, was an inexhaustible Source of _Drollery_[103], as his voluminous Works, which consist for the most part of controversial Divinity in behalf of Popery, show, and which are many of them written in Dialogue, the better to introduce the _drolling_ Way of Writing, which he has us'd in such Perfection, that it is said [104] _none can ever be weary of reading them, tho they be never so long_. Nor could Death it self, in immediate view before his Eyes, suppress his _merry_ Humour, and hinder him from cracking _Jests_ on the _Scaffold_; tho he was a Man of great _Piety_ and _Devotion_, whereof all the World was convinced by his Conduct both in his Life and at his Death.