Part 8

Wednesday, November 18th. I got up at daybreak, and rushed over to Charlie. I found him fast asleep, but awoke him with the news, which he would not believe; however, he got up and gave me all sorts of instructions how to manage, and said he would set off and see if he could contrive anything for me. I went home again to stitch my valuables around me; and, by dinner time he had got me two old men--fathers of Sepoys who had been with us all through the siege--one of whom was to carry a bundle of bedding, and the other my dressing case; our only servant, a punkah coolie, was to carry a tin box: he cheered me with the news also, that he had got leave to accompany me as far as Secundrabagh.[12] So I must walk, having no carriage; however, there came an order that we were not to go till the next day. I was thankful, for I was quite worn out with the preparations. Charlie, also, was quite done up, he had been over so often to help me; and we are none of us very strong; and after all he brought me 2 lbs. of sugar, a great treat, for we had tasted none for weeks. We went to bed all worn out, Charlie sending word, the last thing, that I was to have the Subadar's mare to ride the next day. The Sikh cook was to carry a banghy; so I set to work and packed my little portmanteau with what next I thought I should most like to save (the difficulty was to select), and all these things went off at night with Herah Sing, a Sikh Sepoy in charge. Charlie had given him a note to Col. B----, to take charge of them till I arrived next day; but, the Colonel was killed that very afternoon--so Capt. N----, Assistant Adjutant-General, kindly took charge of them instead.

[Footnote 12: Two miles out.]

Thursday. November 19th. Charlie came over the first thing, and said Capt. W---- had lent him a coolie, so I had to pack another box, and as Herah Sing had invested thirty-five rupees in a pony (without orders) for me to ride, I got a side-saddle from Mrs. F----; and then came the news that the Brigadier had cancelled Charlie's leave, as so many had been applying for the same. It gave me a sharp pang indeed, for this may be our parting in India; however, it was no time to give way, so I dressed in all the clothes I could, fearing I might not be able to get my boxes carried on from Secundrabagh. I put on three of each kind of under garments--a pink flannel dressing-gown, and plaid jacket, and then over all my cloth dress and jacket made out of my habit. I then tied my Cashmere shawl round my waist, and also Charlie's silver mug, and put on a worsted cap and hat, and had my cloak placed on the saddle; in my pink dressing gown I had stitched dear mamma's last present to me, and I filled several pockets with valuables also; in two under ones I had all my little stock of jewellery, and my journal, and some valuable papers. I also wore a bustle, in which I had stitched my Honiton lace wedding dress, veil, &c., and two black and white lace shawls; so that I was a pretty good size. At half-past 10, Charlie and Capt. W----, with great difficulty mounted me on my pony,--a very difficult affair dressed and laden as I was and with no spring in me. Capt. W---- and a large party, were in fits of laughter; at last it was accomplished, and Charlie took me out to the Baillie Guard Gate, and there we parted with a shake of the hands, not knowing when we might meet again! My heart was very heavy, but it was no time to give way. Herah Sing led my pony very carefully. At last we came to a part that was dangerous; the enemy commanded it from the Kaiser Bagh, and the musket shots were whistling about, so some soldiers advised my dismounting and walking through the trenches which had been cut for us. I did so; and when I came out at the engine house an officer came forward to meet me and congratulated me and offered his assistance. I said I was waiting for my pony, so he offered me his charpoy to sit on till it came round and sent his Orderly to look for it; at last it came, and he took me through some barracks to meet it, and there attempted to mount me, but of course unsuccessfully. At last, however, with the assistance of a tall soldier and Herah Sing, and a chair, I was got up again, and then he begged to know my name that he might tell my friends he had sent me on safely, and I asked to whom I was indebted for so much kindness? He said, "Mr. F----, of the Artillery;" and when I named Capt. G---- he said, "Oh! I know G---- very well, and I will be sure to tell him you are all right!" So on I went, steadily, till I came to another dangerous part, when another soldier told me I had better dismount; but I thought of my former difficulties, so I made Herah Sing double the pony across, the balls whistling over our heads. When we got to Secundrabagh, there were the 93rd Highlanders in their kilts and bonnets, and the Naval Brigade with their great guns. I spoke to one of the sailors on a 24-pounder, and asked if there were any place appropriated to the ladies? He jumped off, and said he would show me the way, and congratulated me on getting out of Lucknow, and asked if he could do anything for me? He said his name was Mr. H----, and he belonged to the _Shannon_, and that he might be found at any time at that gun if I sent for him. He then told me of the fight they had coming in, and that 1,842 Natives had been killed in that very garden; the bodies were counted as they were buried: he said they lay in heaps breast high. I took up my position in the corner of a verandah, as it was cleaner than the house. Mrs. B---- was the only lady arrived. Herah Sing drew me some water, and I took out a ham sandwich Charlie had given me in the morning--his own breakfast--for they had had a ham at the Brigade Mess, one that had been kept in store as a treat to be eaten when the relief arrived. While I was eating it, Captain C---- came up and offered to do anything for me; so I asked for a hackery to take on my baggage. He said he could give me camels, but I preferred a hackery as I might be able to sit on it if my pony broke down. He gave me some sherry, and said he would send me some bread and butter--a great treat. He left, and then came Mr. H---- again and asked if I wanted anything, and sent me a loaf of bread. I asked him to get me some ropes, in case my baggage had to go on camels, which he did; and then came Capt. C---- again with his rezie and pillow for me to sit on, and his Kitmagar with bread and butter and cold mutton and a bottle of beer. I ate a little, and then asked him to cut sandwiches for me, of the rest, for night; which he did, and I put them in my basket with the bottle of beer. About the middle of the day came Miss H---- and Mrs. S----; they had walked all the way. About an hour after, came Mrs. H---- and Mrs. B---- and her baby in a buggy; they came to my corner, and our party remained together all day. Every other place was filled with ladies and children, soldiers' wives and Crannies' wives. We were to move on to the Dil Koosha in the evening, which we were glad to hear, for the smells here were intolerable. About dusk they began to make preparations, and the place was one mass of camels, bullocks, carriages and human beings; the same outside, in front of the gateway: so great was the confusion that Capt. C----, who had been ordered to keep the road open, gave it up in dispair, and came and said it was utterly impossible to do so; he had left a string of camels entangled in a ditch, and the road was one mass of entanglement; he was, however, obliged to go off again, and it became pitch dark; and there we were, left to our own devices: how we were ever to get on, none of us could tell. However, at last I decided my best plan was to load my pony with my bundle of bedding, and walk myself, and the rest of my baggage must take its chance; the coolie who had night blindness, and one of the old men, must remain with it, and get Capt. C---- to send it on in a hackery next day. I got a soldier of the 9th Lancers, named Mitchell, to load the pony for me; he was very civil, and did all he could for me: we then sat down in the dark, patiently, till we should get our orders to move; the enemy were out between us and the Dil Koosha, and we were not to go without a large escort, which was to be ready at 8. A little before that time came Capt. E----, to say the enemy were out so strong that no carriages of any kind were to go on that evening, we must hurry with all speed to the Dil Koosha, but must go a roundabout, sandy road, and must run no risk of being hindered by carriages sticking in the sand: as many dhoolies (palanquins for the sick) as could be procured would be in readiness for the ladies, and those who could not get them must walk. Soon after, fortunately, came up Mr. O'D----, who said our only plan would be to go and take possession of empty dhoolies ourselves; so off we set, he dragging us through the entangled mass--far worse than any London mob--and he put us into four dhoolies, nearly all separated. I called to my old man to bring the pony and bundle of bedding, but that was utterly impossible for the time; we waited some time in the dhoolies, and then mine and Miss H----'s were ordered somewhere to the front, but in quite a different direction to what I considered the right road to the Dil Koosha. We heard the enemy firing in the distance: never shall I forget the confusion of that night--the masses crowded together in the pitch darkness; for even when Mrs. B---- had a candle lighted, thinking her baby was dying (its breath having been caught by the cold air), it was ordered to be put out immediately, on account of the number of ammunition waggons. I think we must have started about 9; we went on steadily for some distance, and then some of the advanced guard came riding back, telling the dhoolie-bearers not to speak a word, the enemy were so near; so on we went, nothing to be heard but the tramp of the bearers; after a time we were all halted, and not allowed to make the slightest noise, the enemy were so close. After a time, on we went again in silence, a very roundabout way, and when I looked at my watch after our arrival, I found it had stopped at ten minutes past 2. Now, the direct road would only have been two miles. We were kept waiting on our arrival for some time, for they said there was no place ready for us; we were turned back from the house, as there were already 1,100 sick there. After waiting about an hour in the cold, I seized a gentleman who was passing with a lantern, and asked him where we were to go; he pointed to some tents a long way off, and after tumbling over innumerable tent-pegs and ropes we reached them, and lay down on the ground for the night--for it was utterly impossible to find my pony with the bedding--but we got a rizie (quilt) to lie upon, and I put my head on my basket. The tents were so open that I, of course, got a severe cold; however, daylight soon appeared.

Friday, November 20th. As soon as day dawned I went all over the immense camp in search of my pony. I found several ladies had passed the night in their dhoolies; Mrs. B---- fortunately had a small tent of her own, so she went straight off to the commissariat officer and asked him for a place for it, and kindly asked me to share it with her; it was such a luxury, when it was pitched, to get into it by ourselves, and I had found the pony, with my bedding, so when I was dressed I lay down on it and rested, for I felt quite worn out. We spent the day quietly; in the afternoon, to our great delight, Mr. C---- brought us a packet of overland letters. Oh! the joy of having them once again, and finding all our dear ones at home were well; we had received none for many months. My hackery arrived, just after, with my worldly goods; Capt. C---- had kindly sent them on from Secundrabagh, so that I began to feel more comfortable. We went to bed very early, to recruit our strength.

Saturday, November 21st. I rose early, and took home some newspapers that had been lent me, in one of which was an account of poor Mrs. B----'s murder at Hissar. On our return we drew our rations--bread, meat, tea, sugar, rice, dal, and salt--a bountiful supply: I then sent off the coolie to Charlie with a note, and he sent me back a charpoy (bed) and some other things, so I had no longer to sleep on the ground.

Sunday, November 22nd. A quiet day! But we have no service, although there were six Padres in the camp. In the evening, to our joy, we heard the old garrison were leaving Lucknow, and might be with us that night. Mrs. B---- and I sat up till Davie came and told us they could not be here till the next morning.

Monday, November 23rd. Rose early, and went out to enquire for our husbands, and found they had arrived, but were kept in a camp, about a mile off. We waited impatiently till 4 P.M., when Mr. B---- made his appearance; he said he had waited all day, to ask the Brigadier's leave to come up; but the Brigadier had been away himself all day with his wife; so he set off without leave, and met him just returning. About sunset, in came dear Charlie, limping sadly; he was loaded with a sword, carbine, haversack, case bottle, and a stick to help him along; he had gone on the sick list, for his knee was so bad, he did not feel equal to marching. He had tea with us, and then stretched his bedding outside our tent, under the awning of it, so as to escape the dew; but I longed to give him shelter, it was so cold. We packed all ready for starting, as we were to march in the morning; but the hour was kept secret, on account of the enemy.

Tuesday, November 24th. Charlie called us at 6, thinking we should be off early: however, we did not start till noon. All the ladies were ordered to collect in front of the Commander-in-Chief's tents, when all those who had no private carriages, would be stowed away in covered hackeries: the dhoolies were all kept for the sick. We were late, for Mrs. B---- would not leave in her buggy till the Bheestie was ready to accompany her. I mounted my pony, and we tried, with Charlie's assistance, to make our way through long lines of baggage, hackeries, camels, bullocks, &c., &c.; never, I believe, was such a scene! The whole army marched, excepting a few to keep the Dil Kooshe for a short time. There were 1,000 sick carried in dhoolies, and 467 women and children, in any kind of conveyance that could be got for them, added to Sir C----'s whole army, a portion of which consisted of nine batteries: never shall I forget the scene! As far as the eye could reach, on all sides were strings of vehicles, elephants, camels, &c., &c.; and when we were all pitched for the night, our camp extended over seven miles. The dhoolies were all kept for the sick; none were allowed even to ladies who were hourly expecting their confinement: Sir C---- said the wounded men must be first thought of, as they had saved our lives. The dust was overpowering! We went across country to avoid the enemy. Our road was over cultivated fields; such ups and downs! It was a wonder how the vehicles surmounted them. Most of the carriages were drawn by bullocks, as the horses had been too much weakened by the siege to be of any service. Being such tremendous lines, we were frequently stopped by entanglements; and though we had only four or five miles to go, we did not get to our ground till dark. The number of guns with the force added immensely to the number of vehicles accompanying us. As I said before, we had nine batteries, the Naval Brigade included, and the Artillery park and magazine attached is tremendous. There were also innumerable commissariat carts, and many with treasure from Lucknow, the Commander-in-Chief with one division, and General O---- with another. General H---- died this day of dysentery. We heard distant firing all the way, and hoped it was not on the little party left at the Dil Koosha. I could not possibly describe the confusion when we arrived at our encamping ground for the night. I had been obliged to get off my pony, as the sun was so powerful, and get into a hackery, and "squat" down on the straw, like most of the other ladies; but when we got to the ground, we had to hunt about for our baggage, the little we had brought with us. Luckily, Charlie got hold of our baggage hackery, and got down my charpoy for me to sit on; but it was bitterly cold, so that Mrs. B---- took her baby into some officer's tent till her own could be found. We had brought a little bread and meat in a cooking vessel--our day's rations; also tea and sugar. I had purchased some cheese at the Dil Koosha, so Mrs. B----'s Ayah, a Musselmaunee, set to work and boiled the kettle on the ground, and then fried the beef in a little frying pan I had brought, and we had a grand tea: beef, and bread and cheese, and tea with milk and sugar in it. It revived us a little, but poor Charlie seemed quite done up; and poor Mrs. B---- had been nursing her baby all day, without taking anything herself. Luckily, up came Mr. B---- with her camels and tent; he had been searching for them: it was soon pitched, and we were in luxury compared with most; for many poor delicate women and children passed the night on the ground, by the side of their hackeries, and the nights are bitterly cold now. The hackeries were too full for all to lie down in them. Charlie put his bedding partly under the awning of some tent, to escape the dew, which is very heavy; and it is very dangerous sleeping in it.

Wednesday, November 25th. We halted--and really needed it. Charlie drew his own rations, and we had all our meals together, and got on very happily though not in great comfort. Mrs. B----'s Ayah did all the cooking for us, and made some delicious pourries for tea. We went to bed at 8, very tired. Charlie slept this night in a dhoolie.

Thursday, November 26th. We expected an order to march, but did not get it; a party of the 8th Queen's and some Engineers went on ahead to repair the Bunnee bridge for us, so we halted this day also.

Friday, November 27th. An order was given for us to march at 7 A.M., but just as we had prepared everything for starting we were told we were not to go till after breakfast. About 11 we started, and went about thirteen miles, encamping for the night two miles on the Cawnpore side of Bunnee. I was very tired with the jolting of the hackery.

Saturday, November 28th. While we were still in bed, came an order to strike tents and be off; it seemed almost more than one could do: we hurried and dressed, and had a little breakfast, and I was in the hackery by 8! We had tremendous work to get out of the crowd of hackeries starting and get into the line, and it was half-past 9 before we really began our march. We heard very heavy firing at Cawnpore all day, so that the Chief ordered us not to halt at Enown, but march the whole way in to the banks of the river--thirty miles--he himself hurried on to Cawnpore, and it was fortunate he did, for the Gwalior mutineers had been there three days; and this day, the 64th Queen's, returning from spiking some guns, lost 7 or 8 officers; indeed, all that went out with them: and an officer of the 70th had to bring them out of action. I jolted on in my hackney from 8 in the morning till 12 at night, the life almost jolted out of me; luckily we had bread and cheese and a bottle of beer with us. Charlie dragged on his weary way, first walking and then in the hackery, but he was quite done up at last; and yet, when we got to the encamping ground, we were two hours more searching for Mrs. B----'s tent: it was 2 o'clock before I got in. Then, of course, our baggage hackery never arrived till late the next day; so we had to contrive and boil a little water in a lotah, so as to have a cup of tea, and then we lay down,--Charlie outside and I in the tent with Mrs. B----.

Sunday, November 29th. We hoped to be allowed to halt, but an order came that we were to go two miles nearer the river, and to form a very compact camp on account of the enemy. We started again, and got to camp in the middle of the day; had the tent pitched in a nice turfy spot, and were having dinner all comfortably, when another order came that we were to cross the river that night! This was killing work, but we afterwards heard the enemy intended firing on the bridge of boats; luckily, Sir Colin had a battery up close to it, and kept them off. No doubt it was a most anxious time to him--but we did grumble occasionally, as he did not appear to think much of our comfort. Mrs. S---- was confined in her dhoolie while changing ground this morning. At 8 P.M. we started--all the baggage hackeries were to be stopped for us ladies to cross the bridge of boats; but in consequence of some of them having "dodged" into the line, it took us eight hours to do the three miles; fortunately, it was a splendid moonlight night; just as we were on the bridge of boats there was a sudden discharge of musketry, which greatly alarmed us. I thought for certain the enemy were going to attack us, but it turned out to be our own men firing in the entrenchment; we happened to have stuck just at the time, and the bridge of boats is so narrow we could not have escaped. I own I was more frightened this night than any time during the siege; however, we got safely to the Artillery barracks, where we were to halt; some very dirty crannies had taken possession before us. However, we lay down on our bedding which we had brought in the hackery with us and slept till 8 A.M.

Monday, November 30th. We waited on in misery till the tent came up, which was not till late in the day, and then we found the Bheesti, our factotum, had fever, and could not work; however, Charlie managed to get the tent partly up, when another order came to move to some other barracks half a mile off. In the midst of it all, Charlie contrived to hurt his bad knee against a tent-peg. Some started for these new barracks, and we were preparing, when a counter-order came that we were to wait till morning; so we got our tent up, and slept in it.

Tuesday, December 1st. We took our chota hazree, and then went to our new quarters, where we pitched our tent, and made ourselves comfortable, and we were actually allowed to remain in peace for the rest of the day.

Wednesday, December 2nd. We hoped to remain in peace, and the Brigadier asked Charlie what sort of an appointment he would like; but, unluckily, he was totally unfit for work, and so obliged to decline all. About sunset came an order for us to march that night (we had just returned from visiting General W----'s entrenchments), and no gentlemen were to accompany us but Captains E---- and B----. Charlie had not yet got his sick certificate from Dr. C----, so I was in a sad state of mind, fearing we must now separate altogether. We set to work dividing our clothes, &c., as best we could, but we were both excessively tired. I did not lie down till 12, midnight, and then did so fully dressed, expecting every moment to be ordered off. I had a most distracting headache; however, the night passed on, and we did not move.

Thursday, December 3rd. I woke Charlie at daybreak, and he went off to the superintending surgeon, to see if he would sign his papers, and then was told to come at noon: at noon he went, and did not return till 4, when he said he had got his certificate. I was overjoyed. We marched at 10 P.M.; I went in a shigram with a Mrs. R----, Charlie seated on the step, and Mr. R---- in front. Charlie guided the blind coolie with my pony all night by holding his stick out to him, and the coolie taking the other end of it. I was more idle, for I slept all night. We went twenty-five miles.