Part 8

PRIOR. I must add to what you mention, Mr. _Dean_, that it is a terrible Circumstance, to be surrounded by Catholick Neighbours, who many of them think they wou'd do God good Service, if they extirpated Heresy out of this Island; and therefore till we can get Priests with better Principles, or remove such inhuman Prejudices, by giving their People better Opinions, than that they ought to persecute a Protestant with Fire and Sword; we shall ever be a feeble disunited Nation. We to this Hour suffer under a loss of Blood and Spirits, from former Wars, Rebellions and Massacres; but as it is probable they will every Day, be less bigotted, and as their living and conversing so much with the Protestants, and their going into their ways of Thinking and Living, has taken off the Edge of their Animosity; one wou'd hope we shall be in no Danger from such Accidents hereafter.

SWIFT. I wish and believe it, _Tom_, in Charity; yet still their Religion, and their superstitious Pilgrimages, Nunneries, Holidays, (as we discoursed already) make them lazy and indolent; and their yearly Lents, and weekly Fasts, indispose if they do not disable their labouring Poor to Work as much as their Wants require; the spiritual Taxes which they pay their numerous Clergy, of all Denominations, who in the Words of the Prophet, 'Eat up the Sins of the People, keep them very low, and unable, as well as unwilling to join us in serving the Nation; and their Language and Manners tho' improv'd, yet still continue such a Difference between us and them, as must long keep us disjointed, and therefore broken in our Strength as a Community. At present we make a shift to live Civily together, but are so far from being closely United, as by Care and Management we might be; that we seem like some married Couples, to be rather yoak'd together by Law, than tied by mutual Affection. But I shall pass over this great Source of Dissention among us, as much as it hurts us, to take Notice of another ill-omen'd Circumstance to our Welfare, and that is the terrible Parties and Factions among Protestants, which also quite enervate our Force as a Nation. I remember when I liv'd in _England_, in the four last stormy Years of Queen _Ann_'s Reign, I made a few Verses, (tho' I never Printed them for fear of Lord _Bollinbroke_) on High and Low Church, which may be applied to _Ireland_ on this Occasion.

_For as two Sawyers in a Pit, Toiling a massy Beam to Slit, A like their Skill and Prowess show, While one draws High and t'other Low. So_ WHIG _and_ TORY, BRITAIN _tear Asunder, and her Strength impair. While Factions all their Arts renew, To cut the Nation into Two._

This will ever weaken all Governments tho' never so strongly cemented otherwise; but in _Ireland_ it must add Ruin to our natural Infirmities.

PRIOR. It is very true, and yet we cherish Factions as if we were to thrive by them, tho' they prey on the Vitals of our Country, but I believe there is no Nation in _Europe_, that acts so much against her own Welfare as _Ireland_, or suffers more remarkably by it. The great Maxim of its being madness to Trust Men's Promises and Engagements, but that we are quite safe to Trust their real Interests, seldom holds true in _Ireland_, for here you may trust Men's Words safely in most Things, but they are scarce ever to be depended on, where you wou'd imagine the Interest of the Kingdom secures them to you. It is strange to consider the Violence also with which they Act against each other, for if some hot People had their Will, they wou'd in their Contests hang up one third of the Nation on ill Reports, and then on the least Turn of the Tide, when they cool, they are as ready to String up all their beloved Informers, as Slanderers; if that general Inclination People have to listen to Malice, did not prevail on them to spare them.

SWIFT. One wou'd imagine where so much Passion is shewn, that they wrangled for something very Important; but as it is observ'd, that none are so litigious as the Poor, because they have but little to lose, so our People keep up the heat of their Parties (which if it cools, like that of a Glass-House all Work stops) by every Trifle, by every Word, by every Doubt, that can give the least Colour for a Difference. In a high Sea and a weak crazy Ship, one wou'd suppose there shou'd be no Dispute in the Crew, but who shou'd stop the Leaks and ply the Pumps fastest; but we mind every Thing but our safety, which we sacrifice to our ardour for Noise and Wrangling, and prefer our Resentments to our Lives. If our great Partisans of both Sides, disputed, who shou'd serve their Country most essentially, or who shou'd promote the Tillage or Manufactures of the Kingdom in the best Manner, it wou'd make us the happiest of Nations. This wou'd be as noble a Contention of our Demagogues, as that of the _Horatii_ and _Curiatii_, for the Grandeur and Glory of _Rome_ and _Alba_, and wou'd end like that in Reconcilement and Peace. If any Thing cou'd calm or unite us, the single Reflection wou'd do it, that if the joint force and weight of the Nation, was employ'd in pushing on its true Interests, (whenever they came to be debated) nothing cou'd withstand or endanger them. But we break our Strength, by crumbling into mean Divisions, petty Interests and private Views; and while every one's Charity begins at home, the Publick is beggar'd and no one relieves it. The general Welfare is quite over-look'd, while low-minded Wretches are taking Care of their particular Advantages; and I have ever observ'd that when Places and Pensions and Preferments were settled, the real Business of the Nation and its Parties, was thought to be as providentially adjusted, as that of a Match between two Families, when the Portion and Jointures, and Provisions for younger Children were agreed on. In short, _Tom_, the Misery of our Case is, that the good of our Country, like the Happiness of another Life, is oftner talk'd of for shew, than pursued in reality.

PRIOR. Indeed _Dean_, I have very long regarded, our Contentions and Parties in this Kingdom, in the same Light you do, and that instead of ever keeping in View the great Interests of _Ireland_, Men bawl out their Country! their Country! and mean nothing but themselves, advancing their Leaders, and thereby securing proper Emoluments, for every little Slave and Hireling that join with them. But what is most surprizing is, that while People are so cool to the Publick Interests, and to Things of the highest Importance; they are furious for Trifles, and every Imagination, every Guess, every nothing will set their Passions in a Flame.

SWIFT. I have often lamented that Circumstance, as to this poor Island. In truth, _Tom_, our Divisions and Factions here, are frequently as silly as those of two Gamesters, who tho' they play for nothing, will Quarrel dreadfully about cutting and dealing the Cards, and winning the Game. I am asham'd to say it, but the Contests and brawling of Children at their Push-pin, are sometimes substantial Things, to the Jangles and Feuds, I have known our Parties on some Occasions contend about, and alas! all we get by it, is to give our Enemies Pleasure, and our Friends Despair, while they see our wretched Country, quite forgot in the Squabble, and nothing but Power and Places, private Gain and sordid Interests attended to. But I will dwell no longer on this melancholy Subject, which looks so ill for this poor Kingdom, and I will now go to another Topick, in which the Conduct of our Countrymen is altogether as blameable, and is as fatal a Proof of their Coldness to the publick Interests; and that is their strange Neglect in finishing our Northren Canal, and completing our Collieries in _Tyrone_.

PRIOR. I can never think of the scandalous Mismanagements in both those Affairs, without Shame and Concern. They are a Disgrace to our Country, either as to the Honesty or the Skillfulness of the Undertakers, as to different Parts of the Works relating to the Canal, and also as to the conducting the Design, and disbursing the Money employed on the Collieries.

SWIFT. We are not only the slowest Thinkers of what will do us Good, but we are the most slothful also, in bringing such Thoughts into Execution. The _Newry_ Canal has been carried on, under the Sanction of an Act of Parliament, and the Superintendance of the Navigation-board above twenty Years: And tho' in _Holland_, such a Work wou'd have been finish'd in half the Time, and by superior Skill, Oeconomy, and Honesty, at half the Expence; yet, after laying out immense Sums, there are still many Thousands wanting to make it a truly finish'd Affair. As with much ado we found out, that our own Hills abounded with the noblest Coal in the World, and that our Poverty forced us to consider, that we paid on an Average about 60000 _l._ a Year for _Whitehaven_ Coal, the Nation at last undertook making the Canal from _Lough Neagh_, to the Sea, in Hopes they wou'd turn that vast Drain of Money, when we cou'd stop it, to better Purposes at home. Accordingly great Funds were assigned it, and an infinite Number of Hands and Heads (or People that wore Heads) employed on it for a long Space of Time; and yet after vast Sputter, erring and re-erring, correcting and re-correcting, and expending near 60000 _l._ the Work is far from being compleated; nor can we yet say we are secure of our Canal or our Coal. Much has been promis'd, and yet by Mismanagements or Misfortunes, and different Obstacles, little has been done to answer the Expectations that were raised; and tho' we were assured we shou'd in a few Years have at least 20000 Ton of Coals brought every Year to _Dublin_, to help our Poor, we have not yet got 500.

PRIOR. I cannot account for the Disappointment, and it well deserves the Nation's Enquiry. If, as I heard good Judges say, the Work could have been finish'd in five Years Time, what have we lost, who for the last fifteen Years, have paid such vast Sums to _Whitehaven_, that we might have saved? And how much better had we managed, had we laid out double what it has cost us at the first, and cut short both our Loss and our Trouble?

SWIFT. Very true; but instead of this, they have, with true _Irish_ Policy, contrived to give large Sallaries to some Favourites to carry on the Work, and thus, in Effect, brib'd them to delay the Undertaking they were hired to finish. Thus these Plotters against themselves sink this noble, generous Design, into a low, miserable Job, and instead of assisting the Kingdom, they provide for five or six Families, that live comfortably on protracting the Execution. If the Colliery Company, whose Interest it is to finish the Canal, wou'd undertake the completing it, and fix the Terms with the Navigation-Board, we shou'd soon see the Matters well mended; but till that is done, we shall get nothing but half-work for double Time, and treble Charges.

PRIOR. The Board will take Care of it; but though they shou'd exert themselves ever so warmly, in finishing the Canal, we can never hope for the Coal, unless the Nation makes a Waggon-Way of about 5000 Yards to the River; and as this will cost as many thousand Pounds, we must wait at least a Summer or two for that, in case the Parliament shou'd generously add this small Sum to all their former Bounties. When I consider, that this Kingdom loses so immensely every Year, that we want our Canal and our Coals, it makes me uneasy to think, we are after so many Years disputing about them, when we ought to be enjoying them; but as the remaining Part of the Expence, to finish this noble Design, is quite inconsiderable, compared to the Benefit we expect from it; and as the Nation must not be trifled with any longer, I hope we shall see it soon compleated. For some Years it has had the good Fortune, to be conducted through many Obstacles, under the Direction of a Prelate[5], to whose Skill and Zeal, whenever the Canal succeeds, _Ireland_ is deeply indebted, and will be forever oblig'd on that Account, to mention his Name with Honour. This is an encouraging Circumstance, and this further Hope of its Success, is left us, that it is now in the Hands of the natural Guardians of our Country, the Parliament; and as they well know what a vast Influence cheap or dear Coals have on many of our Manufactures, they will never let us be much longer deprived of this Blessing, which we expect from their Zeal to relieve all the Wants of _Ireland_.

[5] _His Grace of Tuam._

SWIFT. They need not be told, (though however if I was alive I would tell them of it) that if it cost us 20000 _l._ more, the Design well deserves it; and if it took a much larger Sum, it wou'd be a cheap Purchase of 60000 _l._ _per Annum_ saved to _Ireland_, which will be unquestionably the Case in a few Years. After having been such Spendthrifts so long, it looks like Impudence for us to talk of saving; but as Sickness is sometimes the Cause of Health, so Misfortunes and Misconduct may force us to be happy. It seems impossible, that either our Canal, or our Collieries, can any longer be delayed or neglected, and much less left in utter Danger of miscarrying, as I know it was for some Time; but I must say, it is a Grief to every Friend of _Ireland_, and a Satire on our Understandings, as well as our public Spirit, that we were so long in discovering such a Leak, and afterwards so tedious in stopping it up. If we were not a Nation as much made for Plunder, as smaller Animals are for Prey, we should long since have remedied this and many other Evils; but 'tis our peculiar Lot, to starve, like our old Friend _Tantalus_, with the Meat at our Mouths, to want Bread with the richest Fields in _Europe_ under our Feet, and to want Fire with the noblest Mountains of Coals before our Eyes.

PRIOR. To see our Errors is one good Step to remove them; and if once our Legislature sets vigorously about proper Methods and Remedies for all our Distresses, there is Hope that their Zeal may make Things take a happier Turn, for this poor Kingdom.

SWIFT. I wish I may see such a blessed Change in our Affairs, but Seasons and Aspects are a little unpromising; and what discourages me the more is, another dreadful Quality of our People, that of their being so ready to desert and forsake their Country, which they leave as sillily as Birds quit their Nests, upon every little Fright or Disturbance, or just to gratify a wandering Humour, and to chuse a Situation they like better. Our Noblemen and Gentlemen leave us for Pleasure and Amusement, and our Poor for Bread and Wages, which we cannot or will not provide them at home; and some run off for mere Safety, as they see our Distresses, and fly from us by the same sort of Instinct that Rats forsake a falling House. Thus a Family where the Master first deserts the Children, and then the Servants follow his Example, can hardly be reduced to a worse Condition than we are, by this epidemical Madness of wandering to _England_. Though the great Gain she makes by their residing there, will never allow her to drive them back to us, yet one wou'd expect the very Contempt and Neglect they meet with there, wou'd make them return to a Country, where they wou'd be so much honour'd, and where they well know they are so much wanted. At the same Time I make no doubt, if the old Statutes, which punish'd all Absentees with the Forfeiture of their Lands here, were to be revived, and they were thereby obliged, to improve the Industry, Arts and Manufactures of our People, _England_ wou'd in Time receive great Advantages by the Change. Mean while they, and all the Earth, see the Destruction they bring on us, by their deserting us in so ungenerous a Manner; and tho' the Cause and the Cure are so evident, it avails us no more, than the Knowledge of his Distemper does the poor Wretch that lies a dying. If they stay'd with us, and help'd us, we shou'd soon recover our natural Strength of Constitution, and become both an industrious and an important People; whereas now, we are almost a Cypher in the active and commercial World, and a mere Appendix to another Nation; while, like ill-coupled Hounds, by drawing different Ways, we sometimes rather disturb than help one another. If I had Hopes to get a Law pass'd, to burn every Clergyman who does not reside, to hang every Gentleman, and behead every Nobleman, who desert their Country for their Amusement, I wou'd even be content to return to the World, and sollicit Votes for it; but without taking up the Burden of Life again, I shou'd feel Joy in my Grave, to have their Estates saddled with a constant Tax as a Fine for Absence. How lightly soever Gentlemen regard this Desertion of their native Soil, it is certainly a Crime no good or great Mind can be capable of: And the Officer who quits his Quarters, or the Sailor who forsakes his Ship, do not better deserve to be mulk'd in their Pay than they do.

PRIOR. I think it a little odd, Mr. _Dean_, that while we see our Countrymen deserting us so generally, and lament it so loudly, we yet take such Measures as if we thought they did not go away fast enough; and therefore send off our Criminals, to labour, and breed, and enrich _America_. Tho' this wretched Island is the most improvable, and the least improved Part of the habitable Earth, we drive away from us our Felons, though, if we kept them confin'd to hard Labour, the Kingdom wou'd receive all the Profit of their Work, and by this Means a converted Criminal, like a penitent Sinner, wou'd be of more Use, and a better Man, than if he had never transgressed at all.

SWIFT. There may be some ill Consequences in that Method of punishing Felons, as well as some good ones; for in a Complication of Disorders, such as _Ireland_ labours under, what helps the one is pernicious to the other. It is our peculiar Misery, that the Desertion of some of our People does not hurt us more, than the Sleepiness, the Inactivity and Heedlessness of those that stay behind. Many of our common _Irish_ know as little of the Benefits of useful Labour, as the Savages in the _West Indies_; and are more inclined to live by Theft and Rapine, than by using their Hands and toiling their Bodies. Nay, Crowds of our Gentlemen are as indolent (as we observed on another Occasion) as their Slaves are lazy; and seem as unwilling to improve their Estates, as if they thought their Tenures were as uncertain, and as subject to Change, as ever their Ancestors found them. At present, there are few Kingdoms in _Europe_, where the Titles to them are so indisputably settled as they are in _Ireland_, and yet they improve more in _France_, where all depends on the King's Will, than in _Ireland_, where the Property of the Subject is so impregnably secured by the Laws. Of such Force is the Genius of a Nation in regulating our Manners, and forming our Customs. I assure you, dear _Tom_, I could name Crowds of our _Irish_ Gentlemen, that wou'd double their Estates, if they would live on them, and ditch them, and drain them, and build them, and plant them, with half the Skill and Application of a rich sensible Farmer in _England_; nay, I know some of them that are so situated, that they would quadruple their Rents in some Years, if they wou'd build Towns, and set up Manufactures on them with proper Care. There are few of them that have not before their Eyes (if they wou'd open them) Instances of these Things in every County, and yet are no more influenced by it, than if there was no more Encouragement for Arts or Industry, thinking or working, in this Island, than there is in _Borneo_ or _Madagascar_.

PRIOR. There are many Reasons to be assigned, for this great Mistake in the Conduct of some of our _Irish_ Gentlemen, Mr. _Dean_, if we wanted to examine into these Matters; but as to what you was saying, as to their neglecting to live, and plant, and build on their Estates, I have wondered, since we cannot hope to get a Law to force our Absentees home, that we don't make one to oblige all Gentlemen, to build and keep in Repair one Mansion-house on their Lands, of such and such Dimensions, with proper Offices, suitable to their Incomes. If this took in even Freeholders of 20 or 30 _l._ a Year, throughout the Kingdom, it would have a great Effect, and encrease the Number of our Inhabitants, in this deserted Country, as well as the King's Revenue, by many thousand additional Hearths, and comfortable Places of Residence. At the same Time, I cannot see one Objection to so useful a Law, but that nobody would get by it but the Public, and that many private Gentlemen and Absentees wou'd be forced to be useful to us and their Families whether they wou'd or no, which wou'd probably be thought a terrible Hardship by some People.

SWIFT. Why, _Tom_, I cannot but say, such a Law wou'd be of great Use in so naked a Country as this, where one wou'd imagine many of us were descended from the Ringleaders in the Building the Tower of _Babel_; and that by their being then punished, for meddling too much in Stone and Morter, we have contracted an Aversion to all Building ever since; but whenever such a Law is to be pass'd, I could wish they wou'd add another to it, that wou'd not only build our Country, but plant it surprisingly too.

PRIOR. And pray what Law is it? For I am ready, like some good Patriots (who get others to think for them) to vote for it, right or wrong; nay, before I know what it is, since so good a Friend proposes it.

SWIFT. Why, my Act of Parliament is enough to frighten all good Protestants, and is to impower every Landlord, notwithstanding Settlements, to set Leases for ever, of ten or twenty Acres, even to Papists, at the full reserved Rent, who wou'd build good Houses of Stone and Lime, of such and such Dimensions, and inclose and plant an Orchard and Garden of at least one Acre, and keep them in Repair, on pain of voiding the Tenure. This wou'd, in a few Years, increase the Number of our Houses and Orchards prodigiously; and the more as our Natives are very fond of having Lands and Tenements in their own Country, and are willing to give this Pledge of their Allegiance, which so many of them, for Want of such Ties, sit too loose in. I am sensible what an Outcry, many honest Gentlemen wou'd make to this Law; but I am sure it wou'd improve our Country to an high Degree; nor do I see what shou'd hinder us to allow Papists to purchase Lands, (and especially the old forfeited Lands) to a limited Value, and without allowing them a Vote, provided they built and inclosed them in proportion to the Estate: But who can bear to throw away their Thoughts on a Nation, that mind their own Dreams and Habits of Thinking more than the Reasonings of others; who cannot be prevailed on to set up new Manufactures, at the Instances and Exhortations of a Lord Lieutenant, nay, not at the Advice, and, shall I add, even the Entreaties of that illustrious Patriot and Friend to _Ireland_, my Lord _Ch----d_.

PRIOR. You mean the making Paper here, which that Nobleman, with a Zeal equal to his Understanding, honoured me with so many Letters about; and took so much Pains, with many useful Friends of our Country, to get effectually established in _Ireland_.