CHAPTER XV.

_HEAVEN._

It seemed to me then that I fell into a sleep, deep, and sweet, and restful, in which I dreamt that I was a child lying upon the bosom of God. I remember that, as I lay, I stirred in my slumber, and, raising myself, chanced in opening my eyes to look below, but that with a cry of terror I turned and clung like a frighted babe to my Father's breast,--for beneath me and afar, there yet yawned the mouth of hell, from which, ever and anon, rolled dense clouds of hot and hissing smoke, that seemed to twist and writhe like souls in agony, and which in colour were like unto the colour of blood.

And I thought that, seeing my fear, my Father stooped to me as a mother stoops to comfort her frightened babe, and that as He stooped I beheld His face, and knew it for the face of the Lord Jesus, and that He bade me be of good cheer, "for underneath thee are the everlasting arms."

As He so spake I awoke, and saw that she whose hand had plucked me out of the abyss of horror into which I had fallen, yet knelt beside me in tender ministry and prayer, and that she was singing a hymn softly to herself whereof I heard only a verse:--

"I know not where His islands lift Their fronded palms in air; I only know I cannot drift Beyond His love and care."

She ceased, and I arose, but ere I had time to question her, I was conscious of a sudden stillness, like the hush which follows benediction after prayer. "Don't you hear it?" she whispered eagerly, as with upraised hand enjoining silence, she turned her head as if to catch some far-off murmur, "Don't you hear it? They are praying for you at home: kneel down!" And as her words died away, there seemed to float towards me the sound of air-borne music that stayed for one moment to fold me round with the sweet consolations of loving companionship and of peace, and in the next stole swiftly and softly away as if journeying onward and upward to the throne of God.

And with a great cry of anguish I fell to my knees and prayed: "O Lord Christ! I am foul and selfish and sinful! I do not know that I love Thee! I do not know that I have repented of my sins even! I only know that I cannot do the things I would do, and that I can never undo the evil I have done. But I come to Thee, Lord Jesus, I come to Thee as Thou biddest me. Send me not away, O Saviour of sinners. Amen."

As I ended, it seemed that my companion turned to leave me, and I fell to sobbing and sorrowing, until at last for very anguish I could sob no more. But soon I heard again her returning footsteps, and, looking up, I saw One who stood beside her, thorn-crowned, and clad in robes of white. _His features were the features of a man, but His face was the face of God!_

And as I looked upon that face, I shrank back dazed and breathless and blinded;--shrank back with a cry like the cry of one smitten of the lightning; for beneath the wide white brow there shone out eyes, before the awful purity of which my sin-stained soul seemed to scorch and shrivel like a scroll in a furnace. But as I lay, lo! there came a tender touch upon my head, and a voice in my ear that whispered, "Son."

And as the word died away into a silence like the hallowed hush of listening angels, and I stretched forth my arms with a cry of unutterable longing and love, I saw that He held one by the hand--even she who had plucked me out of the abyss into which I had fallen--and I saw that she was no longer veiled. It was Dorothy--Dorothy whom He had of His infinite love sought out and saved from the shame to which my sin had consigned her, and whom He had sent to succour me, that so He might set upon my soul the seal of His pardon and of His peace. And to Him be the praise. Amen.

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