A Day Well Spent: A Farce, in One Act
SCENE IX.
_Chamber, large cupboard in centre.--NEWGATE and BOLT discovered at back, taking plate, and putting it in bag. NEWGATE has a lighted lantern.--Dark._
NEW. Come, bustle about, man; you'll see twice as well if you take that mask off.
BOLT. (_Aside._) My head would follow, I'm thinking.--No, I can see.
NEW. That's right. There go the spoons--there's the salver--there's the god-papa's mug.
BOLT. Yes, we are in for the plate.
NEW. Ho, ho! you call that a joke?
BOLT. (_Aside._) More than I do anything else. If I am caught with this fellow, I shall be hanged; and if I move, I shall be shot.
NEW. Don't mumble, but pack, pack!
_Enter CUTAWAY, HARRIET, COTTON, MISS BROWN, and MRS. STITCHLEY, L. H._
COT. My dear Mr. Cutaway, you should have explained to me you were the son of the great bobbin-maker, and my ideas on the subject would have been very different.--Come, ladies, if you can find your way in the dark. I have just discharged my servants, and am forced to wait on myself.
(_Goes to closet, R.H. for match-box, &c._)
NEW. There's some one in the room--we are in the wrong box. Put up that cup!
BOLT. Ah, I think we have taken a cup too much.
NEW. It's all up--we are floored. There they are--damn it, take this bull-dog--defend yourself.
(_Gives BOLT a pistol._)
BOLT. So I will. (_Holds it at NEWGATE'S head, and throws off mask._) Hollo! thieves! house! ho!
(_MIZZLE enters L. with candle--stage light._)
COT. What the devil!--Why, Bolt!
BOLT. How d'ye do, sir?
COT. And this gentleman----?
BOLT. Came to lighten you of your odd moveables,--to fork out your knives, and dish your plates.
COT. Give me your hand, Bolt; you're a fine fellow!
NEW. Bolt, they call him; I wish that Bolt was shot.
(_They put NEWGATE in cupboard, C._)
CUT. I think I have seen your face before, sir?
BOLT. You have; but pray don't mention--don't bear malice.
MISS B. That face, too! oh, horror!
COT. This is my foreman, ladies, Mr. Bolt, whom, for his valuable services, I intend instantly to take into partnership.
MISS B. (_To COTTON._) Sir! sir!
BOLT. Ahem!--There is one thing I have not confess'd; I mean, sir, my passion for this lady.
MIZ. Wonderful!
MISS B. How!
BOLT. (_Runs to her, and whispers._) Say nothing, and you shall be my real wife.--Sir, you will consent to our union?--(_Aside._) It's a horrid plunge, but I can't help it.
MIZ. (_Aside._) Egad, this is jumping from the frying-pan into the fire. I hope the old woman won't be looking after me.
COT. (_Takes MRS. STITCHLEY'S hand._) This, Harriet, will be your mother-in-law.
MIZ. (_Aside._) A lucky escape!
HAR. Then, papa, there will be three weddings.
CUT. Yes, we can give away one another.
MIZ. While Mr. Addison is content with merely being a spectator.
COT. Come, this troublesome day's work is well over. You have some time had my forgiveness, Harriet; I wish not to say anything unpleasant--but when I contrast your conduct with that of these two excellent young men----
BOLT. Oh, sir, we have done but our duty.--Come forward, Bobby.--I repeat it, our duty: our duty is to amuse these ladies and gentlemen,--and if anything we have done has contributed to that desirable end, we certainly think our "Day has been well Spent."
THE END.
Savill, Printer, St. Martin's Lane, Charing Cross.
Transcriber's Note
This transcription is based on images digitized from a microform copy made available by the University of California, Davis. These images have been posted on the Internet Archive at:
archive.org/details/OxenfordDayWellSpent
In general, this transcription attempts to retain the formatting, punctuation and spelling of the source text, including variant spellings such as "good by" and "wont" (instead of "won't"). In a few cases where the quality of the images made a word or a punctuation mark hard to read, the obvious reading was considered the correct reading without comment.
The following changes were made:
-- Cover and title page: Changed "Day Well Spent" to "A Day Well Spent." The original title page gives the title as "Day Well Spent." On the first page of the text and in the running title throughout, the title is "A Day Well Spent."
-- p. 5: _COTTON runs across from R. to L._--Added a closing parenthesis for consistency.
-- p. 8: BOLT. Ha, ha, ha! Yes.--(_Aside_) Dear Steele! She jumps at it.--I'm magnetic steel. (_Whisper_)--Inserted a period after "_Aside_" and "_Whisper_".
-- p. 9: _A Room at an Inn--A window open, with balcony, a little to the R. in flat,--A large screen_--Deleted the comma after "_flat_".
-- p. 10: (_Whispers_) I'll tell you what we must do, Bobby,--Inserted a period after "_Whispers_".
-- p. 12: _Makes signs to BOLT--slips MISS BROWN'S cloak and bonnet offchair_--Changed "_offchair_" to "_off chair_".
-- p. 12: I have it, Mr Cotton has a foreman named Bolt--Added a period after "Mr" for consistency.
-- p. 18: (_Exeunt MISS B. and MRS. S. L. H._)--Inserted a comma after