SCENE VI.

_Room at Mrs. Chargely's. Large Gothic window, opening upon lawn._

_MRS. CHARGELY discovered sitting, and BRIDGET busied about._

MRS. C. Bridget!

BRIDG. Yes, ma'am.

MRS. C. Miss Harriet Cotton, according to the letter I read to you, must soon be here. Heigho! a persecuted being, like I was at seventeen.

BRIDG. La, ma'am!

MRS. C. Yes, her love is disapproved of, and she is sent here to be far from the object of her affections. Heigho! just my case.

BRIDG. Why, ma'am, I thought the object of your affections ran away from you.

MRS. C. Ahem! It might be so; but, however, Bridget, it came to just the same thing in the end. My fate teaches _me_ mercy. I am determined to shew every kindness to this Harriet, though my letter tells me that Mr. Cutaway is dauntless in pursuing her;--just my case.

BRIDG. On the contrary, ma'am, your admirer seems to have been dauntless in pursuing the opposite direction.

MRS. C. Well, I will just go and adjust my head-dress. You will shew the young lady every attention if she should arrive meanwhile. Heigho! I dare say her delicate heart is in a fine state of palpitation. Just my case.

(_Exit, R._)

BRIDG. I wish she would come; I should so like to see a _young_ lady involved in a new adventure, instead of hearing an _old_ lady recount a _stale_ one. (_A violent ring heard at bell._) Bless me! that is exceedingly like a coachman's ring.

_Enter, through Gothic window, MIZZLE, in cloak and bonnet, BOLT, and COACHMAN._

COACH. Yes! yes! we shall settle it right enough, I'll warrant.

MIZ. (_Whispers to BOLT._) Here's a new row! I didn't want to come here.

BOLT. (_Whispers._) Zounds! there's no avoiding it. Coachee swears he wont stir without the blunt. You, it seems, are booked here for some confounded person. We can't pay;--he says, "Walk in, and they'll pay for you!" So here we are.

COACH. Five shillings the lady, and three and sixpence the gentleman;--they are rather short; will you pay, my good girl?

BRIDG. Oh! certainly; eight and sixpence; here, Coachman. (_Gives him money, and exit COACHMAN, C._)--A gentleman, too! It is a new fashion for ladies to bring their gentlemen with them.

(_Exit, L.H._)

BOLT. Well, what do you think of this?

MIZ. Nothing at all; it's of a piece with the rest. They'll take us to the station-house soon. We're in limbo here; admire the garden wall from the window. My eye! what a barricado!

BOLT. Oh! we can't get out, so we must consider our present situation. You evidently were book'd,--I was only a chance customer; they set _you_ down here as a matter of course--_I_ might have gone on. Devilish odd, by-the-by, you crawling into the very coach upon which I jump'd.

_Enter MRS. CHARGELY, R.H._

MRS. C. Oh! my dear, excuse me for keeping you waiting; but I know young ladies love moonlight.

MIZ. Yes, ma'am, like second-pair lodgers, just before quarter-day.

MRS. C. (_Aside._) Elegant remark!--But this gentleman?

BOLT. Ah, true! (_crosses to C._) I dare say you did not expect me. How d'ye do?--The fact is--I am this young gent--ahem!--lady's brother--Yes!

MRS. C. Oh! did you leave all quite well at home?

MIZ. Quite! my mother is particularly well.

MRS. C. Why, my dear, your father has been a widower these--

BOLT. Bless you! he has married again since. One calls one's mother-in-law "mother" you know.

MIZ. They both send their compliments, Mrs.----ahem!

MRS. C. Indeed! my dear young lady--your name, I believe, is--

BOLT. Precisely!

MRS. C. Harriet?

MIZ. You have hit it to a nicety. Don't you think, ma'am, we might take a turn about the country?

BOLT. Yes! there is a most picturesque ruin of a pump--

MRS. C. To-morrow!--to-morrow!

_Enter BRIDGET, L._

MRS. C. Oh! Bridget, you must provide accommodations for the young lady's brother!

BRIDG. (_Whispers._) Madam, you have forgotten a something--the letter called Miss Harriet an only child.

MRS. C. (_Aside._) Indeed! an impostor! Oh, I see through all!--the daring Mr. Cutaway has introduced himself.--So, sir, you are the young lady's brother?

BOLT. Exactly!

MIZ. Did not we tell you so?--(_Aside._) What makes her so d--d particular?

MRS. C. Now, sir, you know you are nothing of the kind! (_Crosses to C._) Miss Harriet has no brother.

BOLT. Hey, ma'am?

MIZ. No brother!--(_Aside._) Here's a go!--You'll allow me to know my own relations?--Oh--h--h!

MRS. C. Indeed! No! I have discovered all.

BOLT. The devil you have? Then we are bowled out. Madam, we throw ourselves upon your mercy!

MIZ. Yes! don't say anything to old Cotton.

MRS. C. (_Aside._) Old Cotton! what a respectful name to call her father!--I will not; I am inclined to be friendly. I have some influence over him;--I'll prevail on him to pardon all.

BOLT. Will you though? Then give us your hand. (_Takes her hand._)

MIZ. (_Takes other hand._) Yes! you are a regular good 'un!

MRS. C. (_Aside._) A good one! Her language is not particularly romantic.--Nay, more than that, I think I can persuade him to consent to your union.

MIZ. The lady means a partnership.

MRS. C. A partnership?--to be sure--for life--marriage!

BOLT. I'll be blowed if we understand one another, now!

MRS. C. Yes! we do.--Fie, Miss Cotton; do you think I do not recognise your clandestine lover, Mr. Cutaway?

MIZ. (_Aside._) Cotton! I old master's daughter?

BOLT. (_Aside._) Zounds! she knows nothing, after all.--Yes, ma'am, you've hit it. My name is Cutaway.

MRS. C. Ha! ha! you confess. You see I was too sharp for you; I found out you were Mr. Cutaway.

BOLT. To be sure you did! you are so sharp, ma'am. He! he! you found out Mr. Cutaway--He! he! ha!

_Enter BRIDGET, L._

BRIDG. Please, ma'am, Mr. Cotton's foreman, Mr. Bolt, is here.

BOLT. He is not! No! no! my name is Cut--Cutaway!

MIZ. Mr. Bolt is not here! no, nor Mizzle either; this gentleman's name is Cutaway--my name is Miss Harriet.

BRIDG. But Mr. Bolt is at the street door.

BOLT. (_Aside._) Now who the devil can this be?

MIZ. (_Whispers._) I say, Bolt, there a'n't two of you.

MRS. C. Desire Mr. Bolt to walk in.--Don't be frightened, my young friends, though I guess the cause of your alarm.

MIZ. (_Aside._) I'm bless'd if you do.

_Enter CUTAWAY, L._

CUT. (_Aside._) All right so far!--the young lady here, and the old boy not here.

MRS. C. Come forward, Mr. Bolt; come forward. Nobody here, except Mr. Cutaway.

CUT. Mr. Cutaway here, Madam!

MRS. C. You start; I guess the cause of surprise;--yes, and Miss Harriet.

(_MIZZLE hides his face by letting veil fall._)

CUT. (_Aside._) Hem, she has got a new cloak by the way.

MRS. C. But I have not introduced you. (_Crosses L. C._) Mr. Bolt, Mr. Cutaway; Mr. Cutaway, Mr. Bolt. (_They both bow._)

CUT. (_Aside._) How queer it is to be introduced to one's self!--I'm beside myself.

MIZ. (_Whispers._) I say, Bolt, how do you like yourself?

BOLT. Not at all! Curse me if there isn't another incident.

MIZ. A second _me_ will walk in next.

MRS. C. How embarrassed they seem--and I see through all: Miss Harriet seems afraid of Mr. Bolt seeing her. How well I understand her feelings.

_Enter BRIDGET, L._

BRIDG. Mr. Cotton, ma'am.

BOLT, MIZZLE, _and_ CUTAWAY. (_Together._) Who?

BRIDG. Mr. Cotton.

(_BOLT and CUTAWAY instantly run off through Gothic window, MIZZLE, R. H._)

MRS. C. Gentlemen! young lady! what a dispersion! Why, at any rate, Mr. Bolt should vanish--

_Enter COTTON, HARRIET, MISS BROWN, and MRS. STITCHLEY, L. H._

(_Exit BRIDGET, L._)

COT. Ah, Mrs. Chargely, how d'ye do?--I have brought some ladies with me.

MRS. C. Happy to see any of your friends, Mr. Cotton; but one little thing I must say to you, (_draws him apart_,) don't be too severe with your daughter.

COT. No, no, madam; I don't intend it.

MRS. C. I have promised to be her friend.

COT. Promised, madam; may I ask to whom?

MRS. C. To herself, to be sure.

COT. What! have you seen her before?--Harriet, my dear!

HAR. Yes, papa.

MRS. C. This is not your daughter Harriet?

COT. Yes, but it is though; don't you see the strong likeness?

HAR. Yes, madam; I am Harriet Cotton.

MRS. C. I am petrified! thunderstruck! why, another daughter Harriet came here just now, and is here still.--Bridget!

_Enter BRIDGET, R. with veil._

BRIDG. Please, ma'am, Miss Harriet has bolted herself in one of the bed-rooms, and wont open the door. Her veil caught against the banister, ma'am; here it is.

COT. Some impudent impostor, Mrs. Chargely.

MRS. C. And, I'll confess the truth--(_Aside._) How are my benevolent designs frustrated--Mr. Cutaway was with her.

COT. Daring scoundrel!

HAR. The faithless wretch! brought a sham me.--Oh papa, papa! (_Sobs._)

COT. I told you what he would turn out.

MISS B. Mrs. Bridget, I think I heard you called.--Allow me to look at the veil; observe, Mrs. Stitchley!

MRS. S. I do, my dear!

MISS B. The ironmould, and everything! Mrs. Chargely, this veil is mine; there are thieves in the house!--Had the lady a silk cloak?

MRS. C. Yes.

MRS. S. And a bonnet and feather?

MRS. C. Yes.

MISS B. It is all discovered!--You know we were wronged, Mr. Cotton?

COT. (_Aside._) Yes, and I know I had to pay for it.

MISS B. But we will be righted.--Mrs. Chargely, don't let your house be a nest of thieves--send for the officers.

MRS. C. I will.--Bridget! Bridget! Lock sham Miss Harriet's door outside--send for the police!--What a horrid unromantic adventure.

(_Exit, R. H._)

MRS. S. You shall be righted.

MISS B. I will, indeed: I'll recover my cloak--the villainy shall be uncloaked.

(_Exeunt MISS B. and MRS. S., L. H._)

COT. Come along, Harriet; we'll see the end of this. To a nice house I seem to have brought you! A pleasant day, we have had,--a day beautifully spent!

(_Exeunt, L. H._)