Part 4

We do in the next place declare our will and pleasure to be that the execution of all and all manner of penal laws in matters ecclesiastical, against whatsoever sort of nonconformists or recusants, be immediately suspended, and they are hereby suspended. And all judges of assize and gaol-delivery sheriffs, justices of the peace, mayors, bailiffs, and other officers whatsoever, whether ecclesiastical or civil, are to take notice of it, and pay due obedience thereunto, and that there may be no pretence for any of our subjects to continue their illegal meetings and conventicles, we do declare that we shall from time to time allow a sufficient number of places, as shall be desired, in all parts of this our kingdom, for the use of such as do not conform to the Church of England, to meet and assemble in, in order to their public worship and devotion; which places shall be open and free to all persons.

But to prevent such disorders and inconveniences as may happen by this our indulgence, if not duly regulated, and that they may be better protected by the civil magistrate, our express will and pleasure is that none of our subjects do presume to meet in any place, until such place be allowed, and the teacher of that congregation be approved by us. And lest any should apprehend that this our restriction should make our said allowance and approbation difficult to be obtained, we do further declare, that this our indulgence as to the allowance of public places of worship and approbation of teachers shall extend to all sorts of nonconformists and recusants, except the recusants of the Roman Catholic religion, to whom we shall no ways allow public places of worship, but only indulge them in their share in the common exemption from the executing the penal laws and the exercise of their worship in their private houses only. And if after this our clemency and indulgence any of our subjects shall presume to abuse this liberty and shall preach seditiously, or to the derogation of the doctrine, discipline or government of the established church, or shall meet in places not allowed by us, we do hereby give them warning and declare we will let them see we can be as severe to punish such offenders, when so justly provoked, as we are indulgent to truly tender consciences.

PROTEST OF THE COMMONS AGAINST THE INDULGENCE.

We your Majesty's most loyal and faithful subjects, the Commons assembled in Parliament do, in the first place, as in all duty bound, return your Majesty our most humble and hearty thanks for the many gracious promises and assurances which Your Majesty hath several times, during this present Parliament, given to us, that Your Majesty would secure and maintain unto us the true Reformed Protestant Religion, our Liberties, and Properties: Which most gracious assurances Your Majesty hath, out of your great Goodness, been pleased to renew unto us more particularly at the opening of this present session of Parliament.

And further we crave leave humbly to represent: That we have, with all duty and expedition, taken into our consideration several parts of your Your Majesty's last speech to us, and withal the Declaration therein mentioned, for Indulgence to Dissenters, dated the Fifteenth of March last, and we find ourselves bound in duty to inform Your Majesty that penal statutes in matters ecclesiastical cannot be suspended but by Act of Parliament.

We therefore, the ... House of Commons do most humbly beseech your Majesty that the said laws may have their free course until it shall be otherwise provided for by Act of Parliament.

THE TEST ACT (1673).

For preventing dangers which may happen from popish recusants and quieting the minds of his Majesty's good subjects:--Be it enacted That all and every person or persons, as well peers as commoners, that shall bear any office or offices military or civil, or shall receive any pay, salary, fee, or wages, by reason of any patent or grant from his Majesty, or shall have command or place of trust from or under his Majesty ... shall ... in public and open court ... take the several Oaths of Supremacy and Allegiance ... and shall also receive the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper according to the usage of the Church of England at or before the first day of August in the year of our Lord one thousand six hundred and seventy-three, in some parish church, upon some ... Sunday, immediately after divine service.

And ... all persons ... that ... refuse to take the said oaths and sacrament ... shall be _ipso facto_ adjudged ... disabled in law to ... enjoy the said office or offices or any profit or advantage pertaining to them; and every such office ... is hereby adjudged void.

And ... all persons ... that ... refuse to take the said oaths or ... sacrament ... and yet after such neglect or refusal shall execute any of the said offices ..., every such person ... shall forfeit the sum of five hundred pounds.

And ... at the same time when the persons concerned in this act shall take the aforesaid Oaths of Supremacy and Allegiance, they shall likewise ... subscribe this declaration ... "I [name] do declare that I do believe that there is not any transubstantiation in the sacrament of the Lord's Supper, or in the elements of Bread and Wine, at or after the consecration thereof by any person whatsoever."

COFFEE HOUSES (1673).

+Source.+--Pamphlet: _The Character of a Coffee-House, with the Symptoms of a Town Wit_. Printed in the _Harleian Miscellany_. Vol. vi., pp. 465-468.

A Coffee-House is a lay-conventicle, good-fellowship turned puritan, ill-husbandry in masquerade; whither people come after toping all day, to purchase, at the expense of their last penny, the repute of sober companions: a rota-room, that, like Noah's ark, receives animals of every sort, from the precise diminutive band, to the hectoring cravat and cuffs in folio; a nursery for training up the smaller fry of virtuosi in confident tattling, or a cabal of kittling criticks that have only learned to spit and mew; a mint of intelligence, that, to make each man his pennyworth, draws out into petty parcels, what the merchant receives in bullion. He, that comes often, saves two-pence a week in Gazettes, and has his news and his coffee for the same charge, as at a three-penny ordinary they give in broth to your chop of mutton; it is an exchange where haberdashers of political small-wares meet, and mutually abuse each other, and the publick, with bottomless stories, and headless notions; the rendezvous of idle pamphlets, and persons more idly employed to read them; a high court of justice, where every little fellow in a camlet[2] cloke takes upon him to transpose affairs both in church and state, to shew reasons against acts of parliament, and condemn the decrees of general councils.

The room stinks of tobacco worse than hell of brimstone, and is as full of smoke as their heads that frequent it, whose humours are as various as those of Bedlam, and their discourse often times as heathenish and dull as their liquor; that liquor which, by its looks and taste, you may reasonably guess to be Pluto's diet-drink, that witches tipple out of dead-men's skulls, when they ratify to Belzebub their sacramental vows.

This Stygian puddle-seller was formerly notorious for his ill-favoured cap, that aped a turbant; and, in conjunction with his antichristian face, made him appear perfect Turk. But of late his wife being grown acquainted with gallants, and the provocative virtue of chocolate, he finds a broad-brimmed hat more necessary. When he comes to fill you a dish, you may take him for Guy Faux with a dark lanthorn in his hand, for no sooner can you taste it, but it scalds your throat, as if you had swallowed the gunpowder-treason. Though he seem never so demure, you cannot properly call him pharisee, for he never washes either out or inside of his pots or dishes, till they be as black as an usurer's conscience; and then only scraping off the contracted soot, makes use of it, in the way of his trade, instead of coffee-powder: their taste and virtue being so near of kin, he dares defy the veriest coffee-critic to distinguish them. Though he be no great traveller, yet he is in continual motion, but it is only from the fire-side to the table; and his tongue goes infinitely faster than his feet, his grand study being readily to echo an answer to that threadbare question, "What news have you, Master?" Then with a grave whisper, yet such as all the room may hear it, he discovers some mysterious intrigue of state, told him last night by one that is barber to the taylor of a mighty great courtier's man: relating this with no less formality than a young preacher delivers his first sermon, a sudden hick-up surprises him, and he is forced twenty times to break the thread of his tale with such necessary parentheses, "Wife, sweep up those loose corns of tobacco, and see the liquor boil not over." He holds it as part of his creed, that the great Turk is a very good christian, and of the reformed church, because he drinks coffee; and swears that Pointings, for celebrating its virtues in doggerel, deserves to be poet-laureat: yet is it not only this hot hell-broth that he sells, for never was mountebank furnished with more variety of poisonous drugs, than he of liquors; tea and aromatick for the sweet-toothed gentleman, betony[3] and rosade[4] for the addle-headed customer, back-recruiting chocolate for the consumptive gallant, Herefordshire redstreak made of rotten apples at the Three Cranes, true Brunswick mum brewed at St. Catharine's, and ale in penny mugs, not so big as a taylor's thimble.

As you have a hodge-podge of drinks, such too is your company; for each man seems a leveller, and ranks and files himself as he lists, without regard to degrees or order; so that often you may see a silly fop and a worshipful justice, a griping rook and a grave citizen, a worthy lawyer and an errant pickpocket, a reverend nonconformist and a canting mountebank, all blended together to compose an oglio[5] of impertinence.

If any pragmatic, to shew himself witty or eloquent, begin to talk high, presently the further tables are abandoned; and all the rest flock round, like smaller birds, to admire the gravity of the madge-howlet. They listen to him awhile with their mouths, and let their pipes go out, and coffee grow cold, for pure zeal of attention; but, on the sudden, fall all a yelping at once with more noise, but not half so much harmony, as a pack of beagles on the full cry. To still this bawling, up starts Capt. All-man-sir, the man of mouth, with a face as blustering as that of Æolus and his four sons, in painting; and in a voice louder than the speaking trumpet, he begins you the story of a sea-fight: and though he never were further, by water, than the Bear-garden, or Cuckold's-haven, yet, having pirated the names of ships and captains, he persuades you himself was present, and performed miracles; that he waded knee-deep in blood on the upper deck, and never thought to serenade his mistress so pleasant as the bullets whistling; how he stopped a vice-admiral of the enemy's under full sail, till she was boarded, with his single arm, instead of grappling-irons; and puffed out, with his breath, a fire-ship that fell foul on them. All this he relates, sitting in a cloud of smoke, and belching so many common oaths to vouch it, you can scarcely guess whether the real engagement, or his romancing account of it, be the more dreadful. However, he concludes with railing at the conduct of some eminent officers (that, perhaps, he never saw,) and protests, had they taken his advice at the council of war, not a sail had escaped us.

* * * * *

Next, signior Poll takes up the cudgels, that speaks nothing but designs, projects, intrigues, and experiments.... All the councils of the German diet, the Romish conclave, and Turkish divan, are well known to him. He kens all the cabals of the court to a hair's breadth, and (more than a hundred of us do) which lady is not painted: you would take his mouth for a lembeck,[6] it distils words so niggardly, as if he was loth to enrich you with lies, of which he has yet more plenty than Fox, Stowe, and Hollingshed bound up together. He tells you of a plot to let the lions loose in the Tower, and then blow it up with white powder; of five hundred and fifty Jesuits all mounted on dromedaries, seen by moonshine on Hampstead-heath; and a terrible design hatched by the College of Doway,[7] to drain the narrow seas, and bring popery over dry shod: besides, he had a thousand inventions dancing in his brain-pan; an advice-boat on the stocks, that shall go to the East Indies and come back again in a fortnight; a trick to march under water, and bore holes through the Dutch ships' keels with augres, and sink them, as they ride at anchor; and a most excellent pursuit to catch sun-beams, for making the ladies new-fashioned towers, that poets may no more be damned for telling lies about their curls and tresses.

[2] Camlet: a stuff originally made of silk and camel's hair, but later made of wool and silk.

[3] Betony: a plant noted for its medicinal properties.

[4] Rosade: a drink concocted from roses.

[5] Oglio: a spiced hotch-potch.

[6] Lembeck: apparatus for distilling.

[7] Douai.

A PARLIAMENTARY ELECTION, KING'S LYNN, NORFOLK, (1673).

+Source.+--_The Lives of the Norths._ Vol. i., pp. 111-113. Bohn edition.

When it was made known that his lordship [_i.e._, Francis North, who became Lord Keeper of the Great Seal] intended to stand for burgess, the magistrates intimated that they would serve him with their interest; and other encouragements he had: and before the writ came down he made the town a visit, and regaled the body with a very handsome treat which cost him above one hundred pounds; and they complimented him highly with assurances of all their interests, which they doubted not would be successful against any opposition, but they believed there would be none. He was made free, and had the thanks of the body for his favourable assistance in procuring them convoys, etc. So far was well: and when the writ was sent to the Sheriff of Norfolk, his lordship's engagements were such that he could not go down to the election himself but sent a young gentleman, his brother, to ride for him (as they call it), and Mr. Matthew Johnson, since clerk of the Parliament, for an economist of which there was need enough. The rule they observed was to take but one house and there to allow scope for all taps to run. Nor was there need of more, for, as had been foretold, there was no opposition, which was a disgust to the common people for they wanted a competition to make the money fly; and they said Hobson's choice was no choice. But all passed well, and the plenipos returned with their purchase, the return of the election, back to London.

The Parliament met and at the very first the new members were attacked; for one stood up and recommended it to their modesty to withdraw while the state of their election was under debate; as they did and were soon dismembered by the vote of the house; as is more fully related in the Examen.[8] But thereupon the speaker's warrants went to the great seal and new writs issued. This caused his lordship to dispatch his plenipos once more on the like errand to his majesty's ancient borough of Lynn Regis. At first all things seemed fair; but the night before the election there was notice given that Sir Simon Taylor, a wealthy merchant of wine in that town, stood and had produced a butt of sherry, which butt of sherry was a potent adversary. All that night and next morning were spent in making dispositions for conduct of the interest and such matters as belong to a contested election. But the greatest difficulty was to put off the numerous suitors for houses to draw drink, of which every one made friends to insinuate in their favour as if the whole interest of the town depended upon it. But these gentlemen plenipos determined to take no other house but where they were, to let the quill as well as the tap run freely, which made an account of above three hundred pounds. After the election and poll closed, all the chiefs on both sides met to view the poll-books; and Sir Simon Taylor, being on his own knowledge of the people's names satisfied that the election was against him, called for the indenture and signed it with the rest. This was an act of generous integrity scarce ever heard of before or since, and is what I have on all occasions mentioned for his just honour, and it would be strange if I should leave it out here. And it is material also, for, when his lordship came into the house, being a very good advocate and generally well thought of, the party there styled of the country thought his sitting in the house might be an accession to the court interest of too much consequence to be let pass if it might be hindered; and accordingly they expected a petition (as almost of course) to come in against him, and an opportunity thereupon to try the experiment of heaving him out of the house: for at that time who would not prove a petition against a declared courtier? His lordship was generally acquainted and passed well with the gentlemen of all sides. But, in the house, none of the country party came near him or cared that he should speak with them. So it passed till the fourteenth day; and there was but fifteen days of liberty to petition. Then one of them ventured to welcome him into the house but asked if his election was not like to be questioned. "No," said he, "it cannot be for my adversary signed the return for me." Within an hour or two after, at least twenty more of the same interest came and saluted him as very well pleased with his company; as much as to say, "Since thou art chose, who would not have it so?"

[8] North's Examen: a reply to Kennett's History.

A BOGUS "KING'S SPEECH"[9] (1675).

+Source.+--Airy's _Charles II._ P. 301. (Longmans Green & Co.)

_April ye 13, 1675._

MY LORDS AND GENTLEMEN,

I told you at our last meeting that the winter was the fittest time for business, and in truth I thought it so till my Lord Treasurer assured me that ye Spring is ye fittest time for salads and subsidies. I hope therefore this April will not prove so unnatural as not to afford plenty of both; some of you may perhaps think it dangerous to make me too rich, but do not fear it, I promise you faithfully (whatever you give) I will take care to want; and yet in that you may rely on me, I will never break it although in other things my word may be thought a slender authority. My Lords and Gentlemen, I can bear my own straights with patience, but My Lord Treasurer doth protest that the revenue as it now stands is too little for us both; one of us must pinch for it, if you do not help us out. I must speak freely to you, I am under incumbrances.... I have a pretty good estate, I must confess, but, Odd's fish, I have a charge on't. Here is my Lord Treasurer can tell you that all the moneys designed for the Summer's Guards must of necessity be applied for the next year's cradles and swaddling clothes; what then shall we do for ships? I only hint that to you, that's your business, not mine. I know by experience I can live without them. I lived twenty years abroad without ships and was never in better health in my life, but how well you can live without them you had best try. I leave it to yourselves to judge, and therefore only mention it; I do not intend to insist upon that.

There is another thing which I must press more earnestly, which is this; it seems a good part of my revenue will fail in two or three years except you will please to continue it: now I have this to say for it, why did you give me so much except you resolved to give on as fast as I call for it? The nation hates you already for giving so much, I will hate you now if you do not give me more. So that your interest obliges you to stick to me or you will not have a friend left in England. On the other hand, if you continue the revenue as desired, I shall be able to perform those great things for your religion and liberty which I have long had in my thoughts but cannot effect it without this establishment: wherefore look to it, if you do not make me rich enough to undo you, it shall be at your doors; for my part I can with a clear conscience say I have done my best and shall leave the rest to my successors. But if I may gain your good opinion, the best way is to acquaint you what I have done to deserve it out of my royal care for your religion and property. For the first my late proclamation is the true picture of my mind. He that cannot (as in a glass) see my zeal for the Church of England doth not deserve any other satisfaction, for I declare him wilful, abominable and not good. You may perhaps cry, how comes this sudden change? To that I reply in a word, I am a changeling; that I think a full answer, but to convince men yet further that I mean as I say, there are these arguments--1st I tell you so and you know I never break my word. 2nd My Lord Treasurer says so and he never told lies in his life. 3rd My Lord Lauderdale will undertake for me, and I should be loth by any act of mine to forfeit the credit he has with you. If you desire more instances of my zeal, I have them for you; for example, I have converted all my natural sons from popery, (and I may say without vanity) it was more my work and much more peculiar to me than the getting of them. It would do your hearts good to hear how prettily little George can read already the Psalter; they are all fine children, God bless 'em, and so like me in their understandings. But (as I was saying) I have, to please you, given a pension to your favourite my Lord Lauderdale; not so much that I thought he wanted it, as I knew you would take it kindly. I have made Carwell a Duchess and married her sister to my Lord Pembroke. I have made Crewe Bishop of Durham. I have at my brother's request sent my Lord Inchiquin to settle the protestant religion at Tangier; and at the first word of my Lady Portsmouth I preferred Prideaux to be Bishop of Chichester. I do not know what factions men would have; but this I am sure of, that none of my predecessors did ever anything like this to gain the goodwill of their subjects. So much for religion.

I must now acquaint you that by my Lord Treasurer's advice I have made a considerable retrenchment on my expenses in candles and charcoal, and do not intend to stick there, but, with your help, to look into the like embezelments of my dripping pans and kitching stuff, of which (by ye way) on my conscience neither my Lord Treasurer nor my Lord Lauderdale are guilty; but if you should find them dabbling in that business I tell you plainly I leave them to you, for I would not have the world think I am a man to be cheated.

* * * * *

MY LORDS AND GENTLEMEN,

I would have you believe of me as you always found me; and I do solemnly profess that, whatever you give me, it shall be managed with the same thrift, conduct, and prudence and sincerity, that I have ever practised since my happy restoration.

[9] Reprinted by kind permission of the publishers.

HABEAS CORPUS ACT (1679).

+Source.+--_Statutes of the Realm._ Vol. v., pp. 935-938.

I. Whereas great delays have been used by sheriffs, gaolers, and other officers, to whose custody any of the King's subjects have been committed for criminal or supposed criminal matters, in making returns of writs of _Habeas Corpus_ to them directed, by standing out an _Alias_ and _Pluries Habeas Corpus_, and sometimes more, and by other shifts to avoid their yielding obedience to such writs, contrary to their duty and the known laws of the land, whereby many of the King's subjects have been, and hereafter may be long detained in prison, in such cases where by law they are bailable, to their great charges and vexation:--