A Christian Directory, Part 2: Christian Economics
iii. 16, "Let the word of God dwell in you richly in all wisdom,
teaching and admonishing one another;" and much more must a man do this to wife, children, and servants, than to those more remote.
_Arg._ IX. Those that are to be chosen deacons or bishops, must be such as rule their own children and their own household well, 1 Tim. iii. 4, 12. Now mark, 1. That this is one of those christian virtues which they were to have before they were made officers, therefore other christians must have and perform it as well as they. 2. It is a religious, holy governing, such as a minister is to exercise over his flock, that is here mentioned, which is in the things of God and salvation, or else the comparison or argument would not suit; ver. 5, "For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he rule the church of God?" But of this more before. I would say more on this point, but I think it so clear in Scripture as to make it needless: I pass therefore to the next.
_Prop._ III. Family discipline is part of God's solemn worship or service appointed in his word. This is not called worship in so near a sense as some of the rest, but more remotely; yet so it may well be called, in that, 1. It is an authoritative act done by commission from God; 2. Upon such as disobey him, and as such; 3. And to his glory; yea, and it should be done with as great solemnity and reverence, as other parts of worship.
The acts of this discipline are, 1. Denying the ungodly entrance into the family. 2. Correcting; 3. Or casting out those that are in. I shall be but brief on these.
1. The first you have 2 John 10, "If there come any to you and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed; for he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds."
2. The duty of correcting, either by corporal, sensible punishment, or by withdrawing some benefit, is so commonly required in Scripture, especially towards children, that I will not stand on it, lest I speak in vain what you all know already; and how Eli suffered for neglecting it, you know.
3. The discipline of casting the wicked out of the family (servants I mean, who are separable members) you may find Psal. ci. 2, 3, 7, 8, "I will walk within my house with a perfect heart, I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes. He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house; he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight."
_Prop._ IV. Solemn prayer and praises of God in and by christian families is of divine appointment.
1. For proof of this, I must desire you to look back to all the arguments which proved the dueness of worship in general, for they will yet more especially prove this sort of worship, seeing prayer and praise are most immediately and eminently called God's worship of any; (under praises I comprehend psalms of praise, and under prayer, psalms of prayer;) yet let us add some more.
_Arg._ I. It is God's will that christians who have fit occasions and opportunities for prayer and praises should improve them, but christian families have fit occasions and opportunities for prayer and praise, therefore it is God's will they should improve them.
The major is evident in many Scripture precepts. 1 Tim. ii. 8, "I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting." 1 Thess. v. 17, 18, "Pray without ceasing; in every thing give thanks; for this is the will of God concerning you." Col. iv. 2, "Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving." Col. iii. 16, 17, "Teaching and admonishing one another in psalms, and hymns, and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts unto the Lord: and whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus; giving thanks unto God and the Father by him." Rom. xii. 12, "Continuing instant in prayer." "Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; and for me that utterance may be given me," Eph. vi. 18. Many the like texts might be named, every one of which afford an argument for family praises most effectual.
1. If men must pray every where, (that is convenient,) then sure in their families. But, &c. Erg. 2. If men must pray without ceasing, then sure in their families. 3. If men must in every thing give thanks, then sure in family mercies, and then, according to the nature of them, together. 4. If men must continue in prayer and watch in it, (for fit advantages and against impediments,) and in thanksgiving, then doubtless they must not omit the singular advantages which are administered in families. 5. If we must continue instant in prayer and supplication, &c. then doubtless in family prayer, in our families, unless that be no place and no prayer. _Object._ But this binds us no more to prayer in our families than any where else. _Answ._ Yes, it binds us to take all fit opportunities; and we have more fit opportunities in our own families than in other men's, or than in occasional meetings, or than in any ordinary societies, except the church.
And here let me tell you, that it is ignorance to call for particular express Scripture, to require praying in families, as if we thought the general commands did not comprehend this particular, and were not sufficient. God doth in much wisdom leave out of his written law the express determination of some of those circumstantials, or the application of general precepts to some of those subjects, to which common reason and the light of nature sufficeth to determine and apply them. The Scripture giveth us the general, "Pray alway with all manner of prayer in all places," that is, omit no fit advantages and opportunities for prayer. What if God had said no more than this about prayer in Scripture? It seems some men would have said, God hath not required us to pray at all, (when he requireth us to pray always,) because he tells us not when and where, and how oft, and with whom, and in what words, &c. And so they would have concluded God no where bids us pray in secret, nor pray in families, nor pray in assemblies, nor pray with the godly, nor with the wicked, nor pray every day, nor once a week; nor with a book, nor without a book, and therefore not at all. As if the general "Pray on all fit occasions" were nothing.
But these men must know that nature also and reason are God's light, and Providence oft determineth of such subjects and adjuncts: and the general law, and these together, do put all out of doubt. What if God telleth you, He that provideth not for his own, especially those of his household, hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel, and do not tell you either who are your families, and who not, nor what provision you shall make for them, what food, what clothes, or how oft they must feed, &c.; will you say God hath not bid you feed or clothe this child, or that servant? It is enough that God chargeth you to provide for your families, in the Scripture; and that in nature he tell you which are your families, and what provision to make for them, and how oft, and in what quantity, &c. And so if God bid you pray in all places, and at all times, on all occasions, (that are fit for prayer,) and experience and common reason tell you that families afford most fit times, place, and occasions for prayer, is not this enough, that there are such seasons, and opportunities, and occasions for family prayer? I refer you to the particular discoveries of them in the beginning, where I proved the dueness of worship in general to be there performed. And I refer you also to common reason itself, not fearing the contradiction of any man whose impiety hath not made him unreasonable, and prevailed against the common light of nature. This first general argument were enough, if men were not so averse to their duty that they cannot know because they will not: but let us therefore add some more.
_Arg._ II. If there be many blessings which the family needeth, and which they do actually receive from God, then it is the will of God that the family pray for these blessings when they need them, and give thanks for them when they have received them: but there are many blessings which the family (as conjunct) needeth and receiveth of God. Therefore the family conjunct, and not only particular members secretly, should pray for them and give thanks for them.
The antecedent is past question; 1. The continuance of the family as such in being. 2. In well being. 3. And so the preservation and direction of the essential members. 4. And the prospering of all family affairs are evident instances: and to descend to mere particulars would be needless tediousness. The consequence is proved from many scriptures, which require those that want mercies to ask them, and those that have received them to be thankful for them. _Object._ So they may do singly. _Answ._ It is not only as single persons, but as a society, that they receive the mercy; therefore not only as single persons, but as a society, should they pray and give thanks: therefore should they do it in that manner, as may be most fit for a society to do it in, and that is, together conjunctly, that it may be indeed a family sacrifice, and that each part may see that the rest join with them. And especially that the ruler may be satisfied in this, to whom the oversight of the rest is committed: to see that they all join in prayer, which in secret he cannot see, it being not fit that secret prayer should have spectators or witness, that is, should not be secret. But this I intended to make another argument by itself; which because we are fallen on it, I will add next.
_Arg._ III. If God hath given charge to the ruler of the family to see that the rest do worship him in that family, then ought the ruler to cause them solemnly or openly to join in that worship. But God hath given charge to the ruler of the family, to see that the rest do worship him in that family; therefore, &c.
The reason of the consequence is, because otherwise he can with no convenience see that they do it. For, 1. It is not fit that he should stand by while they pray secretly. 2. Nor are they able vocally to do it, in most families, but have need of a leader; it being not a thing to be expected of every woman, and child, and servant, (that had wanted good education,) that they should be able to pray without a guide, so as is fit for others to hear. 3. It would take almost all the time of the ruler of many families, to go to them one after another, and stand by them while they pray, till all have done: what man in his wits can think this to be so fit a course, as for the family to join together, the ruler being the mouth?
The antecedent I prove thus: 1. The fourth commandment requireth the ruler of the family not only to see that himself sanctify the sabbath day, but also that his son and daughter, and man-servant, and maid-servant, his cattle, (that is, so far as they are capable,) yea, and the stranger that is within his gates, should do it. 2. It was committed to Abraham's charge to see that all in his family were circumcised: so was it afterwards to every ruler of a family; insomuch as the angel threatened Moses, when his son was uncircumcised. 3. The ruler of the family was to see that the "passover" was kept by every one in his family, Exod. xii. 2,3, &c.; and so the "feast of weeks," Deut. xxvi. 11, 12. All that is said before tendeth to prove this, and much more might be said, if I thought it would be denied.
_Arg._ IV. If God prefer, and would have us prefer, the prayers and praises of many conjunct, before the prayers and praises of those persons dividedly, then is it his will that the particular persons of christian families should prefer conjunct prayer and praises before disjunct: but the antecedent is true, therefore so is the consequent. Or thus, take it for the same argument or another. If it be the duty of neighbours, when they have occasion and opportunity, rather to join together in praises of common concernment, than to do it dividedly, then much more is this the duty of families: but it is the duty of neighbours; therefore, &c.
In the former argument the reason of the consequence is, because that way is to be taken that God is best pleased with. The reason of the consequence in the latter is, because family members are more nearly related than neighbours, and have much more advantage and opportunity for conjunction, and more ordinary reasons to urge them to it, from the conjunction of their interest and affairs.
There is nothing needs proof but the antecedent, which I shall put past all doubt by these arguments. 1. Col. iii. 16, "Teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts unto the Lord." Here is one duty of praise required to be done together, and not apart only. I shall yet make further use of this text anon. 2. Acts xii. 12, "Many were gathered together praying in Mary's house, when Peter came to the door." This was not an assembly of the whole church, but a small part: they judged it better to pray together than alone. 3. Acts xx. 36, Paul prayed together with all the elders of the church of Ephesus, when he had them with him; and did not choose rather to let them pray each man alone. 4. James v. 15, 16, James commands the sick to "send for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, and the prayer of the faithful shall save the sick," &c. He doth not bid send to them to pray for you; but he would have them join together in doing it. 5. Church prayers are preferred before private on this ground, and we commanded not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together, Heb. x. 25. 6. Striving together in prayer is desired, Rom. xv. 30. 7. Matt. xviii. 20, "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." 8. Therefore Christ came among the disciples when they were gathered together, after his resurrection: and sent down the Holy Ghost when they were gathered together, Acts ii. "And they continued with one accord in prayer and supplication," Acts i. 14, 24; ii. 42. "And when they had prayed, the place was shaken where they had assembled together, and they were all filled with the Holy Ghost," &c. Acts iv. 31. 9. Is not this implied, in Christ's directing his disciples to pray in the plural number, "Our Father," &c. "Give us this day," &c. 10. The very necessity of the persons proves it, in that few societies are such but that most are unable to express their own wants so largely as to affect their hearts, so much as when others do it that are better stored with affection and expression. And this is one of God's ways for communion and communication of grace; that those that have much may help to warm and kindle those that have less. Experience telleth us the benefit of this. As all the body is not an eye or hand, so not a tongue, and therefore the tongue of the church and of the family must speak for the whole body: not but that each one ought to pray in secret too: but, (1.) There the heart without the tongue may better serve turn. (2.) They still ought to prefer conjunct prayer. And, (3.) The communion of saints is an article of our creed, which binds us to acknowledge it fit to do as much of God's work as we can in communion with the saints, not going beyond our callings, nor into confusion.
_Arg._ V. It is a duty to receive all the mercies that God offereth us: but for a family to have access to God in joint prayers and praises, is a mercy that God offereth them; therefore it is their duty to accept it. The major is clear in nature and Scripture, Because I have offered and ye refused, is God's great aggravation of the sin of the rebellious. "How oft would I have gathered you together, and ye would not! All the day long have I stretched out my hand," &c. To refuse an offered kindness, is contempt and ingratitude. The minor is undeniable by any christian, that ever knew what family prayers and praises were. Who dare say that it is no mercy to have such a joint access to God? Who feels not conjunction somewhat help his own affections, who makes conscience of watching his heart?
_Arg._ VI. Part of the duties of families are such that they apparently lose their chiefest life and excellency if they be not performed jointly; therefore they are so to be performed.
I mean, singing of psalms, which I before proved an ordinary duty of conjunct christians, therefore of families. The melody and harmony are lost by our separation, and consequently the alacrity and quickening which our affections should get by it. And if part of God's praises must be performed together, it is easy to see that the rest must be so too. (Not to speak of teaching, which cannot be done alone.)
_Arg._ VII. Family prayer and praises are a duty owned by the teaching and sanctifying work of the Spirit; therefore they are of God.
I would not argue backwards from the Spirit's teaching to the word's commanding, but on these two suppositions; 1. That the experiment is very general, and undeniable. 2. That many texts of Scripture are brought already for family prayer; and that this argument is but to second them and prove them truly interpreted. The Spirit and the word do always agree: if therefore I can prove that the Spirit of God doth commonly work men's hearts to a love and savour of these duties, doubtless they are of God. Sanctification is a transcript of the precepts of the word on the heart, written out by the Spirit of God. So much for the consequence.
The antecedent consisteth of two parts; 1. That the sanctified have in them inclinations to these duties. 2. That these inclinations are from the Spirit of God. The first needs no proof, being a matter of experience. I appeal to the heart of every sound and stable christian, whether he feel not a conviction of this duty and an inclination to the performance of it. I never met with one such to my knowledge that was otherwise minded. _Object._ Many in our times are quite against family prayer, who are good christians. _Answ._ I know none of them. I confess I once thought some very good christians that now are against them, but now they appear otherwise, not only by this but by other things. I know none that cast off these duties, but they took up vile sins in their stead, and cast off other duties as well as these: let others observe and judge as they find. 2. The power of delusion may for a time make a christian forbear as unlawful, that which his very new nature is inclined to. As some think it unlawful to pray in our assemblies, and some to join in sacraments: and yet they have a spirit within them that inclineth their hearts to it still, and therefore they love it, and wish it were lawful, even when they forbear it upon a conceit that it is unlawful. And so it is possible for a time some may do by family duties: but as I expect that these ere long recover, so for my part I take all the rest to be graceless: prejudice and error as a temptation may prohibit the exercise of a duty, when yet the Spirit of God doth work in the heart an inclination to that duty in sanctifying it. 2. And that these inclinations are indeed from the Spirit is evident, 1. In that they come in with all other grace. 2. And by the same means. 3. And are preserved by the same means, standing or falling, increasing or decreasing, with the rest. 4. And are to the same end. 5. And are so generally in all the saints. 6. And so resisted by flesh and blood. 7. And so agreeable to the word, that a christian sins against his new nature, when he neglects family duties. And God doth by his Spirit create a desire after them, and an estimation of them in every gracious soul.
_Arg._ VIII. Family prayer and praises are a duty ordinarily crowned with admirable, divine, and special blessings: therefore it is of God; the consequence is evident. For though common, outward prosperity may be given to the wicked, who have their portion in this life, yet so is not prosperity of soul.
For the antecedent I willingly appeal to the experience of all the holy families in the world. Who ever used these duties seriously, and found not the benefits? What families be they, in which grace and heavenly-mindedness prosper, but those that use these duties? Compare in all your towns, cities, and villages, the families that read Scriptures, pray, and praise God, with those that do not, and see the difference: which of them abound more with impiety, with oaths, and cursings, and railings, and drunkenness, and whoredoms, and worldliness, &c.; and which abound most with faith, and patience, and temperance, and charity, and repentance, and hope, &c. The controversy is not hard to decide. Look to the nobility and gentry of England; see you no difference between those that have been bred in praying families and the rest? I mean, taking them (as we say) one with another proportionably. Look to the ministers of England; is it praying families or prayerless families that have done most to the well furnishing of the universities.
_Arg._ IX. All churches ought solemnly to pray to God and praise him: a christian family is a church; therefore, &c.
The major is past doubt; the minor I prove from the nature of a church in general, which is a society of christians combined for the better worshipping and serving of God. I say not that a family, formally as a family, is a church; but every family of christians ought moreover, by such a combination, to be a church: yea, as christians they are so combined, seeing christianity tieth them to serve God conjunctly together in their relations. 2. Scripture expresseth it; 1 Cor. xvi. 19, "Aquila and Priscilla salute you much in the Lord, with the church that is in their house." He saith not, which meeteth in their house, but, which is in it. So Philemon 2, "And to the church in thy house." Rom. xvi. 5, "Likewise greet the church that is in their house." Col.