Category: Humour
Come, Mrs. Muse, but, if a maid, Then come Miss Muse, and lend me aid! Ten thousand jingling verses bring, That I Achilles' wrath may sing, That I may chant in curious fashion This doughty hero's boiling passion, Which plagu'd the Greeks; and gave 'em double A Christian's shar...
And now the Morn, with yellow locks, From Tithon's hammock stuff'd with flocks, Arose, to show both gods and men That day was coming once again, To glad the hearts of those with...
9. BOOK IX.Whilst Troy's bold sons with shouts get drunk, The conquer'd Grecians sweat and funk. As when a tailor's boy has got His master's goose, almost red hot, The coat it singes; stra...
5. BOOK V.And now this scratching kicking jade, By poets call'd the martial maid, Finding the fray would soon begin, Brought Diomed a dram of gin From her own case of heavenly liquor, Whi...
10. BOOK X.The Greeks, though sorely drubb'd all day, Asleep before their scullers lay-- All but poor Agamemnon, who Could only nod a spell or so. Distracted with a thousand fears How to g...
1. BOOK I.Come, Mrs. Muse, but, if a maid, Then come Miss Muse, and lend me aid! Ten thousand jingling verses bring, That I Achilles' wrath may sing, That I may chant in curious fashion T...
8. BOOK VIII.Aurora was the skies adorning, Or, in plain English, it was morning, When crusty Jove, who never tarried Long in his bed, for he was married, Call'd all his counsellors of state...
6. BOOK VI.The squabbling gods the fight forsake. And leave mankind to brew and bake Just as they please; then broomsticks flew, And smoking hot the squabble grew, Which made Scamander's l...
7. BOOK VII.Thus spake this Trojan heart of oak, And thunder'd through the gate like smoke; His brother Paris follow'd close, Resolv'd to give the Greeks a dose. As when poor sailors, tir'd...
4. BOOK IV.The watchman op'd the gates of heaven, Just as the clock was striking seven; When all the gods, with yawning faces, To council came, and took their places. Hebe prepar'd upon th...
2. BOOK II.The watch past twelve o'clock were roaring, And citizens in bed were snoring, And all the gods of each degree Were snoring hard for company, Whilst Jove, whose mind could get no...
12. BOOK XII.Now whilst Patroclus play'd the quack, The mob each other's bones did thwack, Gave and receiv'd confounded raps With many a dowsing slap o' th' chaps. On Childermas, a luckless...
3. BOOK III.Thus muster'd by their leaders' care, Both sides for fisty-cuffs prepare. The Trojans toss their caps and shout, And noise proclaims 'em bloody stout; Like cranes that fly in wi...