Category: Humour

A Battle of the Books, recorded by an unknown writer for the use of authors and publishers To the first for doctrine, to the second for reproof, to both for correction and for instruction in righteousness

THE papers comprising the following narrative, called "A Battle of the Books," were found in my state-room after a violent storm, during a long and dangerous sea-voyage which I was once forced to undertake. They were much stained with salt-water, but were for the most part leg...

Chapters

8. Part 8

If I had discovered this letter sooner it would have simplified matters greatly; but I did not find it till this statement had been, as I supposed, finished. I therefore thought...

2. Part 2

"I will now close this short note with the reflection which I have often made,--Be good, and you will be happy. And never bring up against me a concurrence of views at any past...

10. Part 10

When the reading of this document was completed, Messrs. Hunt, Parry, & Co. took up the parable, Mr. Parry being the first spokesman. And here I may say, that notwithstanding th...

5. Part 5

My sorrow's crown of sorrow had been that so bewailed in the lamentations of the prophet, that there was no sorrow like unto my sorrow; but by the chance of a word, without any...

3. Part 3

"You recollect the letter I wrote you some time last December, and the question I asked you in it. The 'long and friendly letter,' of which you speak, told you of my waiting, an...

9. Part 9

and put The Whole Deviltry of Man into it.... Is not he who compounds with wickedness as bad as he who commits it? And oughtn't I to hold up my beacon as a warning to all future...

6. Part 6

"You say now _I_ should propose a reference. Are you willing I should write to B. & H., and say that you have placed with me (or with R. and me, for we are partners in all law b...

11. Part 11

With regard to the exemption of fifteen hundred as the first edition of "City Lights," Mr. Parry said that the word edition meant nothing as to number. It meant simply a single...

13. Part 13

"When I wrote to Mr. Hunt about the last of August, 1768, that, contrary to what I had understood his assertion to be, several authors had ten per cent., and therefore I thought...

12. Part 12

(This "Introduction" will doubtless induce in the reader a despair akin to that felt by a sleepy worshipper on a warm Sunday afternoon, when, nearing, as he supposes, the close...

7. Part 7

"The remainder of your letter, you will pardon me for saying, is entirely irrelevant. The question of one or two is no longer open. We have already agreed upon two, and the ques...

14. Part 14

"The first person to whom they offered to refer it was Mr. Rogers, and I accepted him gladly. I was so much in earnest that I wrote him myself begging him not to decline--and th...

15. Part 15

That is what "the books" say unquestionably; but what a stiff-necked and perverse author refuses to believe without further proof. When a publisher shows me receipted bills for...

1. Part 1

THE papers comprising the following narrative, called "A Battle of the Books," were found in my state-room after a violent storm, during a long and dangerous sea-voyage which I...

4. Part 4

"Believe me, your letters of suggestion were always welcome, and would still be so. If anything in my last note--which was somewhat hurried--seemed to be cast in the form of a r...

16. Part 16

"M. N., once more famous than now, had a little 'unpleasantness' with her publishers, Hunt, Parry, & Co. In plain words, she accused them of cheating her out of some thousands o...